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Reviews
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Another failed attempt
Pretty garbage storyline, only good for ok fight scenes and something to burn a few brain cells. I'd have enjoyed it more if I had an acquired brain injury but you can't win them all. Slapped together to make money from dumb people and hardcore mortal kombat fans.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Negative reviews must be from some sad people
This was an action epic and I don't particularly go for action, had the first transformers vibe to it. Sure there were some bits that weren't clearly bad but overall it doesn't deserve the flak it's receiving.
The people rating it down must be the same ones giving fast and furious 8, 9/10 stars.
It's absolutely worth the watch.
It's a 7.5 star movie. Rated 8 to do my but in getting it a fair rating.
Greenland (2020)
Arrgghh Plot holes a'plenty
Straight out of the gates there is one huge plot hole that just renders the entire movie useless, they say that the comet has come from another solar system and it is moving so fast that it "came out of nowhere".
Now I'm no Stephen Hawking but after reading a book of his or two, it'd take millions of years if not in the billions (probably billions of billions) for the comet to get from the edge of our solar system to scoring a 40 yard touchdown on Central Europe. Say it was close anyway (although more statically likely for me to win the lottery 1000 times in a row), we've had the Hubble telescope since 1990, what have they been doing to miss a comet the size of a football field hurtling toward earth?.
If you can get past that movie mutator, secondly is the fact that they decided to put the bunker system in Greenland, pretty much closer than the 1.5m social distancing regulation in place on a continent/country scale. I don't care if you have 100 foot deep titanium alloy, a comet the size of a stadium is going to turn that into a crushed can.
Another good point to take away from this film, is don't be diabetic. If you are and manage to get into a bunker, you may be alright because 7 months of medical supplies gets pulled out of thin air and placed into your insulin pump.
Not a bad movie, enjoyed it despite the critical thinking from producers being over sighted. Maybe next time hiring a physicist or something might help
6/10
Mean Streets (1973)
Not a thing
Literally nothing happens that means something until the last minute and that's even if you count that as being meaningful. It's just a nothing movie, a 2 hour movie full of "ayeeee ayyyeee" and "wadya talkin bout" with little to no plot.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
How on earth is this rated 7.5
I would rather sit and watch every fast and the furious movies on repeat than this garbage. You think it's bad and then it gets worse, horrid American-Japanese anime rip off. If you have any taste in film this isn't it
Escape from Pretoria (2020)
Doesn't deserve its current rating
Very good story, decent acting as well. Just watch it, it's a worthy movie
1408 (2007)
This movie has a low rating thanks to jump scare morons
This is a great horror movie, John Cusack plays a great role. The only reason people are giving it low ratings is because of the new age paranormal activity jump scare garbage they are being fed by movie producers.
It has a solid story, solid horror concepts and all around solid storytelling, it's not a 90 minute jump scare F-U-K fest of brain numbing dribble like it's Conjuring genre counterpart
Thank you
Mother! (2017)
Stirred up many emotions that made me incredibly uncomfortable
I remember seeing this at the cinemas. It has been and will more than likely stay one of the hardest movies I've ever had to endure.
I remember becoming angry in scenes where a normal moral compass would prevail to becoming disgusted in other scenes, confused in most and sad in others. It really is a marathon for the brain to sit through, I absolutely hated it when it ended, I through up my arms as did others in the cinema who were just bewildered at what they had just witnessed.
I left the cinema fuming but after thinking long and hard about the movie on the drive home I realised how much I loved what thought and emotional processes it had brought out. After feeling angry I drove home feeling very very empathetic for the protagonist.
The film is full of different twists that I won't give away.
Just watch it and see what you think before completely passing it off.
8/10. An actual masterpiece
The Art of Self-Defense (2019)
Incredibly strange dark comedy
Not too sure how to start this review.
The film starts off with potential, having some awkward jokes/moments but slowly left me wondering what was going through the heads of the people involved in making it.
Jesse Eisenberg channels an Autistic person for some reason, I'm not being rude, it's legitimately how he comes across throughout the film. The plot is predictable and loosely ripped off from fight club etc.
I don't know what else to say to be honest, it was strange and weirdly unnecessary.
I don't think it's worth the watch, but make your own informed decision.
6/10 would never watch again
3 from Hell (2019)
Should have stopped at the last one and probably well before that one too
Let's start with the plot holes and strange scenes that make no sense. Much like national TV broadcasting live murders, one of the 3 being eligible for parole after committing 38 murders or even a scene where a random clown shows up at the front door of the house for no reason. It's pretty much a disaster and targeted toward people who dig nothing but brutality without any sort of plot.
Garbage. Giving it a 3
I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)
Great movie, great original story.
This movie is great and one of Jim Carey's best, Yes there is a heap of gay stuff going on but shieet if you're comfortable with your own sexuality it shouldn't affect you?. Getting past the gay scenes, the story is solid and the plot twists are brilliantly funny. What tops it off is that it was based on a true story. Also I've seen a lot of comments about it playing into stereotypes, ITS A BLACK COMEDY get off the moral high horse and enjoy the film
Eli (2019)
Not a bad horror movie, at least it wasn't a jump scare fecalfest
Average horror movie, worth the watch if there isn't anything better. It's another reused horror plot but brings in a few different twists throughout but don't get that far without them being figured out before they're revealed. Horror has really gone down the toilet with the new era of nothing but jumpscare garbage, this isn't one of them to be honest, there may be a few jump scares but at least this was focused on being plot driven.
7/10. Not great but certainly not horrible.
The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)
Solid plot, acting and a great storyline
The movie started off strong and continued that way until the end. The plot was Mark Twainesce with a solid breakthrough performance from Zack Gottsagen and a nice return for Shia Labouf. Although the story had the feeing that it's been done before, pretty much a huckleberry fin type story, it was a much better done version than the latter.
Solid 7-8/10
Little Monsters (2019)
Good Aussie movie with the help of some big name Americans but bad casting
The movie itself is different to the zombie norm, quite funny in parts and good acting from everyone, including the children. Alexander England though is excluded from the "good acting" list in this movie, whoever cast this guy pretty much threw it in the bin, not only does he completely force his performance and pull cringeworthy faces in almost every scene, but he just ruins the film with his garbage performance.
The saving grace in this film are the American actors (can't remember her name of by heart) and the children who out performed a "professional".
5-6/10, higher if the casting was better with the main male protagonist.
The Combination: Redemption (2019)
Not a Hollywood movie, but a good film in terms of AusFilm
Loved the first one, great gritty Aussie crime film, Was one of the breakout movies for Firass Dirani as well. This one follows on obviously but like a majority of sequels it's not as great, in saying that it's a decent crime plot. Acting is up to Australian low budget film standard so not much can really be expected.
6-10 for overall film, but in terms of Aussie film I'd give it an 7-8/10
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
Great wrap up and perfect send off for Robert Forster
Great wrap up from the ending of the series, it's not an Oscar winning movie but it's enjoyable and solid in its plot. I have noticed that the people rating below five don't seem to be the brightest of people
RIP to Robert Forster who died today on the release of the movie. He plays a part in the movie and obviously in the last couple seasons of BB
Joker (2019)
Great film, no question just not realistically a 10
I don't disagree with anyone that this is a great film and Phoenix's performance should take out a fair few awards, but in saying that it isn't perfect.
It Chapter Two (2019)
MA version of Beetlejuice
As a die hard King movie fan this is worse than the dark tower and that's hard for me to say.
Ignore the 10/10 etc on here they are from people who are obviously mentally challenged.
The movie starts off great and ominous, about 30 minutes in it turns into a full blown comedy. Slapstick humour, one liners thrown at you left right and centre and horrible, horrible CGI "monsters". IT just eventually feels like an annoying pain in the ass and the parts that are supposed to be dark/scary are clusterf ucked with jokes.
I have no idea what they were thinking and how they thought this level of comedy would go down ok. It's a mess. Again I went in with a completely open mind, regardless of the book but this was filth
Magic for Humans (2018)
Scripted, almost as bad as Chris angel
Totally scripted and set up, you can see the visual effects used on one of the "magic tricks" in the first episode when he pulls his wife out of a bag. Total trash.
Singularity (2017)
The Death Of John Cusack
i don't know what happened or at what point Cusack just said hey F it Im going to audition for roles in B-grade movies and ruin my career. I've been seeing him a lot lately in absolute garbage film and this one cakes the cake of washed up actors trying to make a buck.
But yeah about the film, its trash don't even waste your time.
The Dark Tower (2017)
Absolute Trash
I have never written a review, never thought i would but goddamn was this movie horrible. It would have been cheaper to smear a turd on a wall,film that for 95 minutes and stamp Stephen Kings name on it. Nothing to do with the series, slapped together Start/Middle/Ending style plot, Acting was OK i guess but wasted on a bland script.
I could have used the money and a few homeless people off the street and produced something better than this trash fest.