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Dredd (2012)
Hollywood has no quality control.
Instead of posting a review, which will eventually wind down into a rant on the theme of an utter injustice that it probably won't receive a sequel, I will put up a select list of movies, and their budgets, that have been approved and released since 2012 by actual human beings. One per year.
- Total Recall (2012), budget: 125 million american
- After Earth (2013), budget: 130 million american
- The Amazing Spiderman 2 (2014), budget: 200 million american
- Fantastic Four (2015), budget: 120 million american
- Ben-Hur (2016), budget: 100 million american
- The Emoji Movie (2017), budget: 50 million american
- Robin Hood (2018), budget: 100 million american
- Cats (2019), budget: 95 million american
- Artemis Fowl (2020), budget: 125 million american
All of the above were approved for production by people. Dredd will most likely never get a worthy sequel.
Un
let it arrive
acceptable.
The Emoji Movie (2017)
This movie made me want to join ISIS.
I am being serious. There IS something to them claiming that the US is the devil. The more I read into it the more their cause seems plausible to me. The movie is so stunningly bad it will be the major talking point, in hushed and serious tones akin to talking about a new and unstoppable strain of Ebola, across all known and unknown media. It is an extinction level event all by itself. Someone actually sat down and penned this terminal cancer. I had to sit down through the entire sad affair because it was too horrible not to. This movie is the '45 Hiroshima and Nagasaki of your soul.
Batman & Robin (1997)
This makes Batman Forever seem brilliant!
And that alone is saying volumes about this mess of a movie. I'll not go into the canon of the comics and the irregularities of the movie (costume nipples or not), I'll simply concentrate on the appalling performance from all actors except Michael Gough who was merely okay. Now then, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I know it's useless to lament about that casting mistake of the millennium but WHY? Why use him as a villain and THEN actually GIVE him lines? The man can barely speak a word of English. Even George W. would have been more appropriate for the role of Mr. Freeze. I mean it. And then, George Clooney. I respect the man, loved him in many of his movies but him as Batman? Didn't see it then, don't see it now. He neither has the face nor can he pull the attitude of a hero off. "I'm Batman." No you're not. Uma Thurman, please. She was never a good actress, she should thank her lucky star named Tarantino for getting roles at all, much less roles in high budget movies. Alicia Silverstone, the end. Chris O'Donnell as Dick Grayson? The man who will later become Nightwing? Holy miscasting, Batman! Many people give Uwe Boll a hard time, but all he does is make movies (with the sad exception called Alone In The Dark) that are fun to watch precisely BECAUSE they're terrible. But this... This is not even that, this is an atrocity that should have been forgotten. Do not watch this, do not rent it, do not pay for it. It is not worth it, even if you're under 10 years old.
Wui wan yeh (1995)
For fans of nonsensical and absurd humour.
Truly, one of Chow's best efforts to date. The first twenty minutes or so is pretty uneventful save for a few scenes with the now well-known crew, but the moment Leon (Stephen Chow) enters the stage hilarity ensues. His appearance (black round glasses, a plant by his side etc) as well as his name is an obvious parody of Leon the Professional, especially if you add the silly outfit Kwan (Karen Mok) sports later on, deliberately reminiscent of Natalie Portman's garment in the said cult movie. Make no mistake, this is a ghost movie, the kind only Stephen Chow could make. Wui wan yeh is a must for any fan of Chow's and beyond.