blagomeni Reviews

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

soooo bad

[1/10 · 16 June 2014]

Oh dear. I felt so embarrassed for all who took part in this movie. So embarrassed. I do not understand why Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson, Giovanni Ribisi, Neil Patrick Harris, Ewan McGregor, Ryan Reynolds and many other actors and actresses needed to be a part of this uninspiring and very, very bad project. I never liked westerns. I always found them boring, stuck in simple clichéd storytelling, full of ugly dirty characters with poor dental hygiene and appalling standards of personal grooming. This movie does not display the last two traits, since most characters have pearly white teeth and seem washed and combed, but the rest of the clichés are present. This is supposed to be a comedy. I struggled to find it funny. There were only a very few scenes that may be considered funny. Mostly, it is brimming with bad toilet humor, uninspiring acting, boring and unimaginative storytelling. The man around whom this movie had been constructed, Seth McFarlane, does not make his character neither lovable nor pitiful. He is simply an obnoxious, irritating and useless man who does not deserve any of the good stuff that happens to him. Even though I knew that he could not be killed, being the corner stone of the movie, I was secretly wishing for his character to die a horrible death some of the supporting characters were suffering. Watching this movie was a waste of my time. I can not understand what made me sit through all of it. I hope I will forget it fast. Do not, under any circumstances, waste your time and money on this trash. There are far more deserving movies you can spend time watching. I wish I could ask for refund.

Zulu (2013)

unexpectedly good movie

[7/10 · 16 June 2014]

I had no high expectations before seeing this movie. I have not been a huge fan of Orlando Bloom nor of Forest Whitaker, but after seeing this movie, I admit my appreciation of both has significantly improved. This is a movie set in Cape Town, South Africa. Most of the scenes take place in the surrounding slums and shanty towns depicting a rather depressing and gloomy picture of contemporary post apartheid South Africa. Interracial interactions and painful legacy of the oppressive apartheid rule constitute a prominent part in this movie. Orlando Bloom plays Brian Epkeen, a detective in the Cape Town Serious Crimes Division, a man deeply burdened by his family's involvement in the oppressive white rule, a failed marriage and problematic relationship with his teenage son. All this pushed him into a life of binge drinking and one night stands that significantly affect his work and appearance. His closest colleague Ali Sokhela, played by Forest Whitaker, is a self made man burdened by the legacy of the oppressive white rule which indirectly led to the violent death of his father and to an injury that he suffered from the hands of the white oppressors which made his intimate life troublesome at least. His traumatic childhood left deep scars on his body and mind. They served as an impetus launching him into a successful carrier of a detective, a member of the same police division as the Bloom's character. The two not only work together but are also close friends. Their friendship seems to be built on mutual respect and understanding. Following a murder case they struggle to solve, the men gradually get sucked into a deeper conspiracy of destructive designer drugs, distribution networks and white supremacist's plans that awaken their personal demons and open the freshly closed wounds of the recent past. The events spiral swiftly into a fast unraveling chain of events that spare no one and make the already sad existence of the main characters even more miserable. The movie displays some signs of a low budget productions but those misgivings do not tarnish the end product, nor do they diminish the impression of a very decent production solidly based on good acting and very skillful direction. It was an unexpected pleasure to watch Orlando Bloom play the character of Brian Epkeen. It was very interesting to see him perform in the land of his father. Kudos to Mr. Whitaker and his admirable efforts to bring his character to life, breezing through the use of several languages in harmonious interaction with refreshingly fine South African actors and actresses. Particularly noticeable were, in my opinion, the actress who played his mother and Joelle Kayembe, a young actress who played Zina. My initial expectation of this movie was rewarded with a very interesting and educative experience. It can proudly stand next to any decent Hollywood production. I would recommend it to those people who are into thrillers and crime movies. They will not be disappointed.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

delicious piece of cinematography

[8/10 · 26 May 2014]

The Grand Budapest Hotel is a movie that is equally perfect and sweet as one of the "Mendl's" pastry boxes so frequently featured in the story. It is like a box of presents tied firmly with a shiny silk ribbon. This is one of those movies you can enjoy on several distinct levels. The most striking layer of the movie, at least to me, is the use of colors, props and sets. The ever present pastels vary from earthly yellow to raspberry pink and then back to grays and browns. Some parts of the movie are shown in black & white, masterfully blended in the story so that they are hardly noticeable. The next layer comprises of the special makeup effects combined with the use of contact lenses and outrageous hairstyles which add to the visual attractiveness of the movie. The story, though funny and daring, does mostly serve as a scaffold supporting the visual treats that are masterfully plastered on it. The use of language and narrative techniques wrap the entire project up like the previously mentioned silk ribbon. Each and every cast member contributed immensely to the beauty of the project. Starting with supporting roles, it is simply impossible not to mention the very short but absolutely adorable appearance of Tilda Swinton who is transformed beyond recognition. Edward Norton, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel and many others contributed to the perfection of acting in individually flavored manner, blending seamlessly into the flow. Ralph Fiennes is adorable in his role of M. Gustave. His character is stimulated to brilliance by the performance of Tony Revolori. The intricate ballet the two perform serves as the backbone of the story. The sets are amazing. Models blend perfectly with the locations in the Czech Republic. Open spaces and winter scenery provide the canvas for the dynamic story telling. This is a visually stunning movie that may not please our average moviegoer. It is an exercise in masterful application of cinematic techniques and tools. I had a great time watching it and would wholeheartedly recommend it. You will most probably leave the cinema with a mischievous smile on your face.

Divergent (2014)

Dystopian world of limited choices

[6/10 · 26 May 2014]

I love science fiction, I do, but somehow I am not really that much into dystopian stories. Those stories always contain a thread of gloom and sadness that does not do much for me. I am actually a deeply optimistic person which may not be gleamed from the surface of my personality. Divergent is a story of young love, growing up and finding oneself. The movie more or less follows that pretext and delivers a compelling story. I suppose that one needs substance to make a movie based on a book. I have not had the pleasure of reading Divergent before watching the movie, and to be honest, after seeing the movie I will definitely not. Unfortunately this leaves me without bases for comparison and deprives me of insight which would help me decide if this is a movie worthy of the story from the book. This is a smoothly flowing story that contains hardly any stumbling points and unnecessary parts. The young cast is likable, very lovely and good looking. They all do a good job and leave a glimpse of promise for their future endeavors. I left the cinema thinking of a nice glass of red, not about the movie I had just seen. That tells a lot about the impression it left on me. If you have time to kill and do not care much how, go and see this movie. If you decide instead to spend time with friends over a nice meal, it may be a better choice. I am looking forward to seeing both main cast actors in new projects. I think they have more to offer at least while they are as good looking as they are now.

Neighbors (I) (2014)

A&F commercial at its best

[5/10 · 26 May 2014]

I like to follow careers of young actors and predict the paths they may take. It is mostly lots of fun and when I prove right, I derive pleasure form the fact which, to be honest, does not help much in my everyday life. Bad Neighbors is a comedy based on a simple story about new neighbors and gradual deterioration of their fragile relationship. A couple with a baby wakes up one morning only to find out that a fraternity is moving in to the house next door. We are conditioned by the American movies not to expect anything good from those ridiculous fraternities of theirs and this story does not fail to deliver in that respect. An exhausted housewife with a small baby and an office worker living a nine to five life have very little in common with rowdy students who mostly make parties and think of the noisy ways to dull the urges of their highly hormonal post teen lives. This is the corner stone of the story in this movie. Starting as a relationship based on mutual understanding and respect, the situation rapidly deteriorates into a war between incompatible neighbors. The means for achieving their respective goals become more and more dangerous and destructive. There are occasional scenes in this movie which may fall into the category of funny. Overall, there are not too many of them. Mostly, this movie serves as a promotional ad for young Zac Afron and his meticulously developed and groomed physique. In my opinion, he had nothing more to offer than that. One of the last scenes in the movie shows him as an Abercrombie & Fitch model working as a front door eye candy at one of their stores. If he continues to take parts that mostly rely on his good looks instead of his acting capabilities, I worry he may end up as a real A&F model. Do not get me wrong. I have nothing against those fine young men and women of A&F. They must have worked very hard to get where they are now. This movie is one of those that you watch when you want to relax and forget about the hardships of your everyday life. In that respect, it is a movie that delivers. I did enjoy watching it and I am not sorry I spent the time at the cinema. I leave it up to you to decide whether it is worthy of your time.

Ender's Game (2013)

sci-fi at its best

[8/10 · 26 May 2014]

It does not happen often that a movie adaptation of a novel does the novel justice. This is fortunately the case with the movie adaptation of Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. I have had the pleasure of reading the book before I saw the movie. After a few scenes into the it I realized that the depiction off the story, places and characters is very similar to what I had imagined when I read the book. No one can expect that a book of a couple of hundred pages can be squeezed into two hours of a movie. The director, fortunately, had no such intention. Still, the most important aspects of the story are present. Even though occasionally shown out of the sequence of the novel, in order to make up for the omitted sections of the book, they still tell a convincing story that flows smoothly and without any obvious gaps. I wholeheartedly recommend reading the book before seeing the movie. The intimate knowledge of the story would make it possible to follow the movie with far better understanding. It would also make the movie more entertaining. Nevertheless, even as a stand-alone this movie is a very entertaining feature. This movie is a story of humanity and the loss of it. It is also a story of socialization of the young people and personal growth. But most of all, it is a story of how far would one go to defend their family, their group, the species. The main characters are shown faithfully in comparison to the characters from the book. The young actor, Asa Butterfield, who was cast in the role of Ender is a very good choice. Barely seventeen, he took his role seriously, convincingly bringing the character of Ender to life. The supporting cast beautifully complemented the main character. Apart from a couple of seasoned actors, the rest of the team comprises of very young people. Regardless, they were up to the task and they performed their roles in coordinated concert. I saw the movie at a pre-opening screening. The CGI was impressive and I can only imagine how it may look in the iMAX version. This film is definitely a must see for the sci-fi enthusiasts. Those who are not much interested in the genre would also be entertained. I am looking forward to seeing the iMAX version. I can comfortably recommend this movie. It will not disappoint you.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Some movies simply have to be pleasing

[7/10 · 26 May 2014]

Some movies simply have to be pleasing. They have to provide a certain amount of satisfaction to movie goers because they are directed by a renowned director or they cast actors who give their best in each and every role they play. The Wolf of Wall Street should have been one of these movies. This feature gets off to a strong start. For a while this initial putsch keeps you moving forward, expecting something to happen, something that would make you think, "Yes! This is the movie I've been waiting for so long that I've forgotten what a good movie feels like". Sadly, it does not get to be this movie. While getting to know the plot and the main characters something creeps into the mind of the observer. The nagging in the background becomes slightly louder with each new scene or dialog. In the end, the nagging becomes so loud that one can only shout, "Shut up! , I want this to be a good movie, I want it to make me feel good." Still, despite excellent performances by the actors and Martin Scorsese's best efforts, it fails to be this movie. Perhaps I'm spoiled, accustomed to certain probably unfairly high standards and expectations from the names of DiCaprio and Scorsese in the credits. Even if it were so, this movie is still full of much of which is unnecessary. So many narcotics floating around in the scenes that I ask myself, how is it even possible that these people could stand on their feet every morning. There are also a couple of scenes where there was no reason to show nudity. Don't get me wrong, I love nudity in movies. I do, honestly, but I also expect it to be a part of the story, a part that independently and harmoniously knits the plot together with all other elements of the story telling. In this feature, some of the nudity is simply embarrassing. Margot Robbie did not need to bare it all. All compliments to Ms. Robbie, but she should have thought harder before agreeing to the scene. Jonah Hill's pleasure trip during the party scene was also a bit over the top for me. What I liked best about this movie is Leonardo. I do not want to sound like a broken record, but the man is an excellent actor. He gave his best to this movie and it is simply not his fault I did not enjoy the movie as much as I wanted to. Fortunately enough there is one scene in the movie which alone makes it worth seeing. After taking more than a few Quaalude Lemmon 714 pills, DiCaprio's character looses the use of his speech and of his legs. This is when we get to see DiCaprio give one of his best performances I have seen since he portrayed Arnie Grape in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. In these few minutes he shows us what a great actor he is, and how little is required to make a masterpiece of a short sequence. This is not a bad movie by any standards. I did like it, but not to the extent I wanted to. I expected more. I would still tell you all to go and see it. Perhaps we can compare notes? Cheers.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

good ingredients need not make a good pie

[5/10 · 26 May 2014]

I am occasionally extremely glad that I pay a monthly subscription to Pathé and do not feel the immediate regret for the money spent on a ticket for some of the movies I see. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, which I saw this evening, has left me utterly blank. I could have just as well spent the evening dozing off on my Chaise longue comfortably tucked in listening to some nice music. This feature is so full of clichés recycled so many times that they become hardly worth mentioning. This theatrical adaptation of Clancy's novel has only shown us that Russia is very, very bad and naughty and that the US is righteous and very much hated by those very, very bad Russians. The latter are set on the path of destruction of the goodie good US and they deserve to fail as they eventually do. Simplified depictions of characters, black and white presentation of situations, car chases in Moscow depicted mostly by night adding to the overall "badness", are plentiful. Young Chris Pine, who plays Jack Ryan from the title of the movie, has shown us mostly that he has very bad complexion, blue eyes and very white and straight teeth and that he still, in his early thirties, bites his finger nails. The rest of his performance is hardly worth mentioning. His female companion, Keira Knightley, had faired slightly better, proving at least in one scene with Kenneth Branagh that she can act and actually do it quite well. Mr. Branagh is basically the only highlight of this movie. He plays his character so well that the audience cannot but hate the tragic fellow. Kevin Costner did a decent job of portraying a company man. If there is really nothing better to do, and you absolutely cannot think of any other way to kill two or so hours, go and see this movie. Otherwise, take your dog for a long deserved walk.

Despicable Me 2 (2013)

lots of fun for everyone

[9/10 · 26 May 2014]

I am a sucker for modern day animated movies. This particular form of art has outgrown its previously targeted audience, the children. I have not seen recently a single one of them that was not layered and thick with contents that only adult audiences can fully grasp and appreciate. This is even more the case with Despicable Me 2. From the very beginning of the movie audience can not but fall in love with the main character Gru and the army of his little helpers, the Minions. The gags, the language, grimaces and the tempo of narration ads up to the enjoyment and fun this movie is so full of. The scene at the restaurant when Gru goes on a date with the shallow gum chewing "lady" in a tiger patterned dress is alone worth the ticket money. The smartly placed scenes where Minions are the main cast made me laugh so hard that tears ran down my face. I genuinely loved this movie and can only say that if you feel down and depressed these gray Autumn days, watching this entertaining piece of art will definitely bring some joy to your life. I give it all five stars.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)

gorgeous vistas of nature

[7/10 · 26 May 2014]

Socially awkward daydreamer, Walter Mitty lives in a world that has very little in common with his actual surroundings. The tedious daily routine made him escape into a more bearable world of imagination where he sees himself a hero, a complete opposite of who he actually is. All this starts to change when a missing photograph sets him on an adventure of his life. Bullied by his boss, Walter decides to embark on a trip to Greenland continuing to Iceland and all the way to the mountains of Afghanistan in search for a photographer whose photo, "frame 25", got misplaced. During his voyage, Walter gradually embraces the world that surrounds him, slowly replacing his daydreaming with real world adventures and thrills. Ben Stiller, who plays Walter, is as charming as ever. His small stature and generally funny features make him a fitting actor to play the role of Walter. Supporting cast are all up to the challenge. Even though most of them are very famous actors and actresses, not for a second does it feel they take over the focus. The story of the movie is centered around a missing photograph, appropriately so since the movie is brimming with stunning photographic treasures. Masterfully executed scene transitions and gorgeous vistas of nature from Greenland, Iceland and mountains of a place that is a stand in for Afghanistan are simply breathtaking. This movie will make you feel good. It is worth the spent time and money. I enjoyed it very much.

Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013)

If you decide to take the adventure, I wish you good luck and plenty of patience.

[4/10 · 26 May 2014]

I have to be honest. I knew what I was getting into, and knowing that, the movie delivered, but in a very odd way. It is not a movie that one goes to see and comes out feeling good about themselves. On the contrary, this is an adventure that leaves you in a very peculiar state of mind. Before seeing both parts of this confession I read the reviews and listened to the firsthand accounts from my close friends who saw the film before me. I will write about these two movies in singular because they are a single piece of story telling and can not exist individually. The only reason for splitting the movie into two parts, in my opinion, is the fact that it would be highly challenging to sit through screening of the movie had it been kept whole. The movie is a detailed confession of a nymphomaniac, telling her story to an elderly man who helped her out of a situation where she was left beaten in a middle of an alley on a gloomy and rainy day. This is a dark story occasionally laced with humorous situations and dialogs that although funny, do not really make you feel amused and giddy. The story begins at the time the young girl starts discovering her sexuality and follows her down the path of increasingly deeper addiction that gradually deprives her of dignity, humanity, and joys of life. There are numerous explicit scenes that pile up to almost unbearable onslaught eventually loosing any storytelling worthiness, becoming self-gratifying and purely pornographic. The variety of tastes and the menu of sexual behavior presented is wide. There is something in this movie to secretly lust about for almost anyone. But there is not a single thread of pleasure that can be squeezed from the screen because the next scene would almost always spoil any pleasure derived from the previous. This means that those who expected to be amused in that way are better off going for real porn. The acting is good. The characters are strange, usually twisted, sad and pitiful. There are just a few of them I may say were likable. I will deliberately not reveal who those characters were because it may be used against me in real life, so I'll let each one of you decide for yourselves who you liked best if anyone at all. That is also why I will not name any single actor/actress or lust over their performances as I often do in my reviews. When it comes to recommending this movie, I am in two minds. In one hand, I think it may be interesting for people to see it, in the other hand, it may be too much for most. I leave it to you. I was left with a lingering feeling that I did get something from watching this movie, but even days later I am still struggling to define what that something is. If you decide to take the adventure, I wish you good luck and plenty of patience.