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The STIX Movie (2016)
Not Horrible But Could Have Been Better
Right off the bat, I think it's appropriate to say that the entire "Stix" show is a total ripoff of "Dick Figures" and it's pretty obvious. Even the pilot of the show is line for line the pilot of "Dick Figures." But all that aside, I decided to give this movie a chance. I'm actually a fan of Yoshi Player, so I've been keeping up with production of the film as it was happening, and I was prepared to watch it with an open mind, fully aware that it would probably be very similar to "Dick Figures: The Movie" but I still wanted to give it a chance, as I enjoy watching films made by Youtubers. I can't bash on the animation too much, because it was a major step up from the show, and it was all animated by the same person. However, I do feel that if he had brought on a few other people to help him animate, it might have turned out better. Another complaint is the length. In order for a film to be considered a feature-length movie, it has to be at least an hour. I feel like there was so many things that could have been added into the plot that would've made it longer. It didn't even feel like I was watching a movie, it was like watching a 40 minute special. It just makes the plot seem rushed. Another thing I didn't like was Death's voice. There are so many ways they could have made the villain funny without making his voice sound so annoying. I also didn't like the beginning. It was way too similar to "Dick Figures: The Movie." The fact that they meet in kindergarten, grow up together, one is smarter than the other which makes their relationship dysfunctional. It's all too much alike. My biggest complaint, though, is the dialogue. It feels so forced. It almost sounds like the voice actors are coming up with their lines on the spot. As far as the jokes go, most of them fall flat, but a great number of them were pretty funny. All in all, this film wasn't god awful, but I feel that if certain things were done differently, it could have been a lot better.
Greater (2016)
Best Sports Film of All Time
I grew up in Harrison, Arkansas. My family and I knew the real Brandon Burlsworth and still know the family to this day. Brandon has always been a big part of my life, even after his death. The Junior High I attended had his name all over it along with his slogan "Do It the Burls Way" on the field house for football practice. I knew Burlsworth was a big deal in Harrison, but never in a million years did I ever think a movie was going to be made about his life. And when it finally debuted, after several years in the making, I was amazed. I can say with all sincerity that I have never seen a sports film that I have enjoyed more than "Greater." The acting, the dialogue, the cinematography, the editing; pretty much every aspect of the film was completely fantastic. It's the only film I've ever seen that's made me cry. It was so beautifully done!
Ghostbusters (2016)
I Want My Money Back
I knew from the very beginning that I wasn't going to like this movie. I had seen the trailer and commercials and thought "Wow, there's no way in hell I'm gonna waste my money on that." But, when the movie came out, my girlfriend talked me into taking her to see it. The film had been out for about three days when I took her. I bought our tickets, and we entered the auditorium. I noticed that we were the only two people there, but I figured that since this was such a big movie, and that we were a little early, more people will probably show up. That did not happen. So there we were, sitting in the theater, by ourselves, waiting for the movie to start. Once I saw the opening logos start up, I knew that I was going to be spending the next two hours of my life in hell! The humor was poorly written, the special effects were laughable, and it payed no respect to the source material. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the main actresses of this movie! They're usually very funny and very good at delivering comedy in just about everything they do. But that just wasn't the case for this movie. I don't blame them, I blame the writers and the director. We were about half way into the movie when my girlfriend said "Why did they purposely make it so bad?" I was shocked to hear that she didn't like it either, as she had previously been very enthusiastic about it. I asked her if she'd like to leave but she told me that she wanted to see if it would get better. So we sat there for a little while longer. I heard later from a few other people that the movie was sexist against men in place. I believe that that's a bit of an over-exaggeration, but I can definitely see where they're coming from. After sitting there for another half-hour or so, she finally said "Nope! We need to get the hell outta here!" Which we did. We then returned home, and watched the real Ghostbusters. All I can say is, I pray to God that they don't make a sequel, because this was just a bad idea that needs to be buried in the past.
Deadpool (2016)
Loved it.
I think this movie was one of the best comic book adaptations that I've seen in years. I'm a huge comic book geek, and I have to say, there's no possible way they could've made this movie any better! It's violent, funny, and action-packed! That's everything people would expect from a Deadpool movie. I loved the fourth-wall breaks and the comic relief that was provided by Deadpool. I loved Colossus in this movie, not only was he really cool looking, but he was very funny in many scenes. This movie was practically flawless, but I do have one complaint: it wasn't long enough. It wasn't even two hours long and that's pretty unusual for a major comic book movie.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015)
I tried my best to not PUKE!
I've never liked most TV movies, and I've always hated the "Sharknado" franchise! I've been shown time and time again that most people will watch whatever piece of crap movie is shoved down their throat! I actually can't believe that there are people out there with the audacity to even call this a movie in the first place! Never in my life have I ever seen such a vile and unorthodox trilogy in my entire life! Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if it was a comedy, but it's not! The title and premise are the only comedic things about this film! It actually tries it's best to take itself seriously! And, even if it was a comedy, I would still hate it, it just wouldn't be as bad. And I know that no one is forcing me to watch these movies, but how else am I going to give it a bad review? All in all, this film was a pile hippo diarrhea mixed with elephant puke! The story structure was weak, the acting was cringe-worthy, and the special effects looked so freaking fake that it's almost as if they were made by a four year old! This movie is so bad, taking a massive dump on it would be like encasing it in gold! It's like this film was made to p*ss me and any other intelligent person off!
Vacation (2015)
Not as Good as the Original but It's Still Not Bad!
I grew up watching the "Vacation" movies, regardless of the fact that some of them are a little raunchy! When I first heard of this movie, I thought it was a remake, but it is actually a sequel with a very similar plot to the first movie. Of course the movie wasn't anywhere near as good as the original, but it still wasn't that bad! I just wish that they would have toned down the raunchiness a little bit because none of the original "Vacation" movies were so profane and unsanitary! I also hoped that Chevy Chase and Beverly D'angelo would have had bigger parts in this movie. They're only in it for maybe five minutes! Other than that, the film was pretty good! It had a decent story structure, the character development was great, and it was hilarious from start to finish! I would give this movie a chance for those of you who haven't seen it!
Smosh: The Movie (2015)
Pretty Much the Opposite of What I Expected
I went into this movie thinking what pretty much what everyone else was probably thinking, that it would be a 90 minute YouTube video with Smosh in it! I mean, that's what it emphasized in the trailer. But, there are so many unexpected curve-balls that make this movie better than what the trailer made it appear to be! I don't want to give away too much, but the ending is the best part because it becomes aware of the first ever Smosh video, which was the Pokemon song being lip synced by Ian and Anthony. The great thing about this movie is that it actually seems like a movie and not like a feature length Smosh video and it pays tribute to the original fans! Now, I'm not saying that this is a perfect movie, mind you! Some of the dialogue was cheesy and the special effects look like they're from an actual Smosh video. Also, the acting wasn't all that great either. All in all, this movie is not for everybody! If you are a fan of Smosh and/or you like B movie style films, then you'll probably like this movie! On the other hand, if you're neither of those things, then you'll probably hate it!
PewDiePie (2010)
Not that awesome
To be completely honest, PewDiePie isn't really all that funny! In fact, he's so unfunny that it makes me sick! It seems almost like he's desperate for laughs with all the screaming and cursing and what not! I don't understand the general public anymore, so I will never understand why people think this man is funny! Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Felix, but I DO hate PewDiePie. This means I don't hate the actual person but I hate the YouTube channel. He has never made me or anyone I know even crack a smile when watching his videos. And, that's not such a good sign. The fact that this man became a millionaire because he made unintelligent, idiotic, and unorthodox YouTube videos of him screaming at crappy video games, brings my p*ss to a boil!
Sharknado (2013)
Is there any possible way to give it less than 1 star?
I'm going to start off by saying that this movie was absolute crap! I know that the premise is intended to be stupid but that no excuse for it's terrible casting, story structure, and character development! The actors in this movie are absolute crap! It's almost as if they aren't even human, they're cyborgs that speak very dull and have no kind of development whatsoever. It's movies like this that proves that the general public will watch whatever piece of crap is on television! If you watch this movie all the way through, I can guarantee that you will either lose a lot of brain cells, or puke at the repulsing sight of this god awful movie!
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)
Garbage
Never will I EVER understand why anyone would like this pitiful piece of garbage! I can't believe Sharknado being such a crappy movie in the first place was even able to get a sequel! It makes me sick to think that there are actually people out there who enjoyed this movie! If you are one of those people, you are VERY easily entertained! For anyone who hasn't seen this movie (if you can even call it a movie) yet, I would advise you not to because it is one of the biggest piles of horse crap I have ever seen and I curse the day that they decided to make it (same goes for Sharknado 1)! To anyone that plans on watching this movie even after reading this review, prepare for a terrible poop storm of a movie!
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014)
It was FANTASTIC!
Anyone who is a true fan of AVGN or James Rolfe early work in film will absolutely LOVE this movie! While I do admit there are some cheesy moments and I believe the nerd's sidekick should have been someone else, it was still a great film. It's obvious that James was making this film for his TRUE fans that are interested in his early work like "Cinemaphobia" and "Legend of the Blue Hole" because it has countless practical effects and it sticks to that style which invites aspiring filmmakers like myself into the creative process! All in all, this film was great! There was hardly a thing wrong with it and I think anyone who likes the non-traditional filmmaking style that James Rolfe brings us will like this movie!
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)
I Loved it!
This movie was absolutely fantastic. But, in my opinion, the first Spongebob movie was much better! I really liked that most of the movie contained 2d animation which is something that you don't see very often in movies these days. One of the only things I didn't like about this movie was the ending. I won't give anything away but you could tell that they were scraping the bottom of the barrel for an ending while they were making this movie. It was very clear to see that they were trying to use that ending to reach 90 minutes unlike the first movie which was only 87 minutes.
All in all, I give this movie an 8/10!