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6/10
Potentially Amazing Docuseries Botched by Terrible Choices by the Crew
10 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
THE CURIOUS CASE OF NATALIA GRACE should be called THE CURIOUS CASE OF A DOCUMENTARY CREW ALLOWING A PERFORMATIVE SCUMBAG TO HIJACK THE SHOOT AND GET HIS OWN SERIES PRETENDING HE DIDN'T NEGLECT & ABUSE A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY

Seriously, this is an astonishingly heartbreaking story that's totally botched by the production desperately trying to turn it into a mystery and going all in on this annoying, bad actor.

What's worse is that by allowing Michael Barnett this platform, they don't just gloss over how a child prodigy is probably forever ruined by the trauma he suffered as a child, but forces him to relive it, despite repeatedly begging not to discuss it.

So watch a shocking story about how a life was ruined and witness an overlooked victim get exploited.
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Wednesday (2022– )
5/10
Goth Harry Potter, not The Addams Family
1 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
WEDNESDAY is not The Addams Family, so much so that I'm wondering if Tim Burton has ever seen the show, movies, or read the comic strip.

The show is goth Harry Potter. Literally a complete Rowling ripoff:

A young teenager with budding powers gets sent to a magical school for magical kids. They befriend the bumbling nerd and over-achieving girl. They discover they're the chosen one, destined to take down a leader of an evil cult that was believed to be defeated. The cruel professor has secretly been in love with one of the child's parents.

The school is even separated into different groups who compete against each other and the protagonist gets recruited onto a team and is the reason they win.

Zero Addams. Overflowing with Hogwarts.
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Prank Encounters (2019–2021)
6/10
Fun show show, except for one thing...
26 October 2019
It's your typical "scare tactic" type prank show and it's pretty funny, except, are we really suppose to believe that this kid is actually directing this???? It's obvious that he's not and they're just splicing in bits of him pretending he's the director and that part is done quite poorly. He's a perfectly likable host. I'm great with him commenting on the prank and coming out for the big reveal, but don't try to pretend he's running things. Other than that, it's a fun show to watch with the family.

Also, Prank Encounters? That's the title you went with? I get that it's a play on Close Encounters, but "Prank Encounters" sounds like a fake prank show in a movie or cheesy sitcom.
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Joker (I) (2019)
6/10
JOKER is uneven, unfocused, and trying so say so many different things that it ends up saying nothing at all...and that's the point.
4 October 2019
JOKER is uneven, unfocused, and trying so say so many different things that it ends up saying nothing at all...and that's the point. Except, the thing is, I don't believe for a second that director Todd Phillips is capable of pulling that off on purpose. This movie totally feels like a stoner comedy director trying to remake Taxi Driver or The King of Comedy; it completely lacks any unique artistic flare, but at least the flare it's ripping off is great. I believe the film's accidental success is thanks to editor Jeff Groth creating a solid movie out of a mess.

If your personal movie database is made up of only popular movies or no movies made before the late 90s, Joker will feel like a masterpiece; however, if you're a cinema connoisseur, the movie will range between pretty good & meh. It's entertaining and you won't have wasted your time seeing it. You may not exactly enjoy yourself during the first half of the movie, but it all pays off eventually. You absolutely will leave the movie satisfied.

This movie does successfully accomplish what all great movies should: you will have a lot to think about when it ends. It'll take time before you decide whether you liked it or not.

Viewing the film strictly as its own movie, it's mostly pretty good. It's a great character study of what can turn a man into a psychopath...though it's nothing new, but at least it does it well.

As a comic book movie, however, it's a complete & utter travesty that wipes its ass with the legacy of one of the most iconic characters in history...except for the saving grace of it final couple minutes before the credits role, that the average movie goer, unfortunately, simply will not understand.

Phoenix's performance in this movie will become a thing of legend. Theater schools will study his acting for decades. He'll be nominated for all the awards (of course, in a year where most of the oscar buzz is revolving around Adam Sandler...yes, really!) Phoenix is absolutely mesmerizing and even if you hate the movie, you'll want to be able to tell your grandchildren that you saw this performance in theaters. It's right there next to DeNiro's Travis Bickle (from the movie this one is trying to be).

Of course, like all hack directors, only the lead character has an arc, while everyone else is completely one-dimensional; which is a shame, since it's a cast of incredible actors.

All-in-all, this is another case of one of history's all-time greatest performances wasted in an entertaining, but forgettable movie.
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10/10
Once you get past the nostalgia aspect...it's even better!!!
16 September 2019
This was PERFECT!!! Works whether you've seen the film or not. Every shot is beyond gorgeous. The voice work is magnificent. The story is dark & even scary at times, while remaining whimsical.

It's the prequel I never knew I always wanted!
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9/10
Parabellum builds upon everything: the world, the action, the story, & the characters
17 May 2019
However good you're thinking JOHN WICK 3 will be, you're wrong...

...its sooooooo much than you can imagine!!! It deserves Avengers money, truly.

In this go around, John fights literally everyone, including friggin ninjas played by "Mad Dog" from The Raid and "The Assassin" from The Raid 2! How badass is that? I'll tell you how much: ALL of the badass.

Parabellum begins the action almost immediately and doesn't let up. Even when it does slow down, it doesn't feel like it, because it does a deep dive into John's backstory; but since the filmmakers are masters of "if you can show it, don't say it," even exposition & world building flows right along with the full throttle pacing of the rest of the movie.

Halle Berry steals the show, 100%. I want a full movie solely about her character, Sophia...no...I want a complete trilogy. She's so incredible in her action scenes, that she makes John's feel almost boring. She's just as good as John Wick, but boiling over with ferocity, and with an added skill that trumps John completely.

Asia Kate Dillon's character, The Adjudicator, is a force of nature; a storm that brings death & chaos everywhere they go. While they may not be a fighter, they are an insane villian that'd fit perfectly in a Batman movie.

The action itself is filmed with such precision, with long takes, that you feel like you accidentally walked directly into the mayhem. It's a sight to behold.

The John Wick universe is far from over, and I couldn't be happier.
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Us (II) (2019)
8/10
So rare to get a movie that can be incredibly intelligent, but remain superbly entertaining at face value.
31 March 2019
US is a fantastic slasher/thriller. Do not go in expecting a Get Out sequel; these are very two very different movies. This one isn't as deeply layered & focused as Get Out, but that's a good thing! It's not suppose to be! It's a fairly straight forward plot, but still a lot smarter & more cerebral than your regular slasher flick. And oh so entertaining...and funny! The characters are great and the actors bringing them to life in their double roles are absolutely incredible. Lupita Nyong'o is nothing short of astonishing as the two mothers. And Winston Duke is the daddest dad that ever dadded on film. Even the kids, with their creepy stares & odd movements just add a layer of eeriness to it all. Like all the best mindbenders, the quest isn't to find the answers to everything. It's all a puzzle to put together & demanding of repeat viewings; but the plot is still straight forward enough where you're left satisfied, even if you don't truly understand it all. It'll go down as a classic in the genre, even if it doesn't have the weight of Get Out. It's message is a far simpler one. The two movies may be more connected than we think, but to explain any further would spoil it all. Can't stop thinking about & deconstructing US, and it just gets better & better the more I think about it. It's so much more than a horror movie. So rare to get a movie that can be incredibly intelligent, but remain superbly entertaining at face value.

Excited to see it again.
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The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)
8/10
Show may be about stopping the apocalypse, but how can you stop the apocalypse in their hearts???
23 February 2019
I struggled to get through THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, it good, just not very bingeable. It's as darn emo as it's creator. Reads like a wannabe goth kid's dream journal. Everything cool about superheroes, but with nonstop WAAAAHH!! WAAAAHH!! Every character is totally miserable. The allure of their weird, quirky novelty runs out quick. Its worth sticking it out though; plenty of payoff.

It has a lot of really cool moments, but also a lot of moments that just drag & drag & drag. Now that all the character & universe introduction is over, a second season should be really good.
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Glass (2019)
8/10
Glass is a fine movie on its own, but as the final chapter in an amazing trilogy, it's a masterpiece.
18 January 2019
GLASS is a fitting & logical conclusion to the Eastrail 177 Trilogy that started with UNBREAKABLE. It may seem underwhelming to some, but it's the right way to wrap everything up. If you haven't seen previews for the movie, it will be an awesome spectacle. If you have seen previews, then most of the action has been spoiled, and all that will be new is exposition & twists. If you're expecting a ton of action, then you're forgetting that this movie is about its eponymous character, The Mastermind, first name: Mister, last name: Glass. This isn't about punching, but about the work of a genius. Keeping that in mind, the movie becomes a work of genius, itself. Being an M. Night, flick, there are some great twists & shocking reveals. None of them are contrived or tacked on, but are quite satisfying. And even if this isn't as flashy as Marvel & DC movies, this is probably the truest comic book movie there is, at least at their purest sense. Acting wise, James McAvoy is the only one given anything to do and he chews the hell out of the scenery. Considering most of the movie is rather slow, he is what keeps you entertained throughout. The man is a formidable talent and deserves all the movie roles (which he could literally pull off). All in all, Glass is a fine movie on its own, but as the final chapter in an amazing trilogy, it's a masterpiece.
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5/10
So-So movie with a MINDBLOWINGLY AMAZING CLIMAX
13 November 2018
BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY's spot on recreation of Queen's legendary Live Aid performance is so sensational, so amazing, so epic, that it brought tears to my eyes...

...shame that it's attached to the end of a barely ok Netflix movie.

Bohemian Rhapsody is as much about Queen as Rock Star is about Judas Priest. You could easily rebrand this movie, as-is, as Rock Star 2 and no one would bat an eye.

The Good: Rami Malik absolutely NAILS Freddy. His walk, his mannerisms, his attitude, his emotional spiral, its perfect. He truly gave an exceptional performance.

The Bad: He was the only actor given anything to do!!! Everyone else is stale, one-dimensional characters that are provided no development whatsoever. The main cast (except freddie) are glorified extras in the made-for-tv Freddie Mercury story. Yeah, made-for-tv. The story is completely sanitized, so young audiences can watch it...but they wont learn anything about Queen! It could've at least told the true story surrounding the band's Live Aid performance ( Bob Geldolf announcing the band's appearance without their knowledge, their playing a 20 minute set when they were only allotted 15, the fact that they were supposed to be opening for Bob and, instead, stole the whole show out of spite), but nope. And instead of showing Freddie's struggle, being a homsexual at a time when homosexuality was demonized, the movie itself aaallmmmooossst demonizes homosexuality. Besides being a biopic that's as true as A Million Little Pieces, is the movie good? Its generic montage after generic montage of blasé concert footage and goofball recording sessions, where one character has a story arc, while all the rest are cardboard cutouts. Its entertaining, but not great.

Still...that final 20 minutes is so mindblowingly, punch a hole in the sky phenomenal, that you forgive the rest of the movie and even a few other movies. See it in theaters, but show up 2 hours late.
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The Predator (2018)
4/10
Better than AvP, but the weakest in the Predator franchise
15 September 2018
No one was more excited than me when it was announced that Shane Black would be writing & directing a sequel/soft reboot of The Predator. Flash forward to today and no one is more disappointed than me in Shane Black's The Predator. Had he not seen the original...which he was in!? This was nearly beat by beat Independence Day Resurgence...with Predators. Even with the cheesy ending with a tagline for a sequel that will never happen; except possibly a Netflix movie, like Beyond Skyline. The plot was weak, the effects were even weaker. The cast does do great with Black's sharp dialogue and does their best to sell the ridiculous plot. In the end, The Predator will make for a decent Friday night rental, but that's about it.
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Mandy (I) (2018)
8/10
MANDY is a gorgeous, violent, insane, colorful nightmare that you'll absolutely hate, even though it's one of the greatest films ever made.
14 September 2018
MANDY is the most Nicholas Cagey Nicholas Cage movie that has ever Nicholas Caged!!! It's somehow a film from a different era, while also being one of the most modern, avant garde pieces of Cinema ever made. It'll immediately become classic cult film that'll be studied in film school and have Halloween midnight screenings. It is the culmination of Nic Cage's career, from his days as an award winning actor, to action star, his descent in madness, and his current rise in independent Cinema. That being said, you'll probably hate it. It begins as sloooow psychedelic introduction to the characters & a taste of what kind of movie you got yourself into. The casual movie watcher will walk during this, while movie buffs & film connoisseurs will love every second of it. Without warning, the movie turns into a bizarre nightmare. Its in the middle of the movie where it goes full on classic, blood, guts, chainsaw fights, grindhouse with Cage wielding the most badass axe ever. He spirals into revenge fueled madness, slaughtering through meth demons & cult members; all highlighted by the greatest macaroni & cheese commercial ever.
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Prometheus (I) (2012)
9/10
A film called utterly moronic by utter morons
13 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS! SPOILERS! And more SPOILERS!PROMETHEUS is a perfect film...unless you're a fool

First, lets count the supposed "plot-holes" everyone complains about: 0. That's right, none! There's nothing in the film that isn't perfectly explained on screen, they're just either explained visually or as piece of the puzzle when viewing the movie as a whole, not scene by scene.

The opening scene. Everyone is so confused by the engineer sacrificing himself to become the catalyst of human evolution. Why is this so hard to understand!? His ship is nothing like the ships they find later, so he's obviously not one of "those" engineers. His kind uses the "goo" technology to create life, while the engineers we meet later use it to create weapons, (much like humanity and technology). I thought this was painfully obvious, but there was no Ice-T character to help explain it to everyone. In case you think you're so intelligent and this simply doesn't make sense to your oh so scientific mind, remember this: this genius that discovered DNA, also believes humans originate from alien space sperm that hitched a ride to earth on a comet. Yep.

Then the brilliant scene with David alone on the ship. This seen 100% explains EVERYTHING David does for the rest of the film. "Why did David do this or that?" Refer to that scene, you moron. He's been studying ancient languages believed to originate from the engineers language: explaining how he was able to read and understand everything on the ship. He was obsessed with Shaw, even watching her dreams: which gave him a curiosity about God and life when your father is out of the picture. Lastly (and most important), his obsession with Lawrence of Arabia; which specifically says the line, "You pretend it doesn't hurt": perfectly explaining David's actions vs his programming throughout the movie; he's constantly abused and forced to care for people that have utter disdain for his very existence, but he has to pretend it doesn't hurt. So why does he poison Holloway? Again, moron, refer to David's first scene. Holloway constantly mocks David, even treating him like a slave, Shaw loves Holloway and David is obsessed with Shaw, and the two most obvious reasons: Weyland TOLD David to test it on a human and Holloway all but volunteered for it when he told David he was willing to do anything to get answers. How did David know Shaw & Holloway would have sex? He didn't, that was just a happy coincidence on his part, BUT: He did obsess over Shaw's dreams (there had to be some Holloway sex dreams), Holloway was wasted...I'm sure David knew there was a good chance of sex.

Why did Vickers have an operation unit calibrated for males, even though she's a woman. More proof that you're stupid. It was for Peter Weyland, who couldn't care less about his daughter.

How did the hologram of Weyland know where Shaw was sitting? What? You didn't see David tell them to specifically sit in that exact chair? He did.

Why was the biologist afraid of the giant alien corpse, but not of the penis worm? Uhhh...what? When was he ever afraid of the giant alien corpse???? He was practically face down in it with curiosity!!! Then why did he leave so urgently? Has the film clearly portrayed earlier, he was desperately trying to be friends with the geologist, the "cool" guy; so when the geologist finally invited him somewhere, even to leave, the nerdy biologist was all about it. Duh.

Why were all the other engineers trying to get into one room, but one was trying to get into another? What was so different about him? At the beginning of the original ALIEN, we see an engineer corpse with his chest burst out (psst, from a xenomorph); and in Prometheus, we see a pile of engineer corpses...with their chests burst out (again, from a xenomorph), sooooo obviously that last engineer ran away from the death dealing monster and tried to hide in another room. Embarrassed that I even had to explain that one.

Why was the engineer trying to release the goo onto earth? In the giant head goo room, there was a religious carving of a xenomorph queen cradling a xenomorph. These engineer worshiped their weapon and his mission was to release it onto earth, making a planet full of them.

How could our DNA perfectly match theirs after zillions of years of evolution? Then ask how could a spaceship travel across the cosmos, using hyper-sleep for its crew and have a perfect humanoid robot? If you have such a problem with the DNA part, then you should have walked out 5 minutes into the film when they showed a spaceship.

Lastly, why did the xenomorph that came out at the end look so different? Was it the first one and will evolve into the kind Ripley fights? Is it a queen? If I pour salt in my eye, will it hurt? The one thing ALIEN 3 did right was show that xenomorphs have the characteristics of whatever life-form they incubate in; in Alien 3's case, a dog. We also saw what a queen xenomorph looks like when it burst out Ripley's chest. So, no, it wasn't a pre-evolution xeno or a queen: it had the characteristics of its host: an engineer, a perfect being.

Everything being said about Prometheus, was also said when ALIEN and BLADE RUNNER premiered and now they're regarded as classics, while we joke about how ignorant their audiences must have been. So if there's any more questions you trendy, pretentious ignoramuses wish to "challenge" me with regarding Prometheus, please comment and I will further prove how foolish you really are; but first, I strongly suggest you watch it again...actually WATCH it.
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