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Uncut Gems (2019)
Luck be a lady tonight
They call you Lady Luck.
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very unladylike way of running out
Luck be a lady tonight
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight.
Lady Luck I enjoy her company. That's where the gambler and the degenerate part ways.
Did Howard Ratner get any pleasure from gambling? No.
At first I rooted for Howard but as the movie went on I was rooting for Lady Luck to smack him good. All the prayers to the goddess Tyche went unanswered. Smashing a pomegranate didn't work for Howard. He could have smashed a whole tree and still Lady Luck would have laughed at him.
A good movie but not a gem.
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
Lonely is the night
Two lifelong friends find themselves at an impasse when one abruptly stops being friends. Stops being nice.
Well acted but depressing. The whole island felt like it was covered in a sheet of loneliness like a fog that wont lift.
You used to be nice. Or did you never used to be? Oh, God. Maybe you never used to be.
Niceness doesn't last.
Do you know what you used to be?
Nice!
You used to be nice! And now, do you know what you are?
Not nice.
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry, you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now be nice.
Be cool.
Clerks III (2022)
Elegant Prose
Elegant what?
Kevin Smith movies are like going to the mall with friends and eating a good burger at the food court.
It's supposed to be fun with friends with uncensored dialogue.
I'm not asking for Shakespeare.
This movie didn't work. The dialogue was stale and dull. The acting was sub par.
Jason Mewes' giant lego teeth were distracting. Elias Grover's part as an emo with teenage angst made no sense and was not funny.
How about Zack and Miri make a porno 2?
Tell'em Stevedave!
Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters. Well I don't know what else to say!
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
There is order in chaos
A chaotic group of vignettes with no order.
Neo on LSD.
Obsession with butt plugs and dildos.
Karate woman.
Multiverse.
What the hell is going on?
I've never seen so many one star reviews.
Shill: A person who acts as an enthusiastic customer to entice or encourage others.
Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.
So I have to keep typing.
Best movie, actress, supporting actress and actor. I started at 4 stars.
The more I think about this the lower/higher the rating. Depends on which multiverse I'm in.
Minimum character limit met. THE END!
Tried to be original, profound and funny. Just didn't stick the landing.
Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin' into the multiverse.
Moonfall (2022)
I was rooting for the Moon!
Xenu, the extraterrestrial ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" brought billions of his people to Earth (then known as "Teegeeack") in DC-8-like spacecraft 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them with hydrogen bombs. The thetans (immortal spirits) of these aliens adhere to humans, causing spiritual harm.
This movie makes followers of Scientology sound sane!
What was that? This movie made no sense! A ridiculous plot with terrible dialogue. Now that's a bad exacta.
The guy from Game of Thrones was in this so I was hoping the dragons. Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion cameo.
Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.
Well what else do you want me to say? Team Moon! Death to Earth!
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Shaka, when the walls fell!
Failure!
What made Star Trek Next Generation so good was the top notch acting and writing.
So it is possible to make a good scifi series.
Zinda, his eyes red. The pain and dismay at watching such a bad show.
The beast at Tanagra, the problem to be overcome was such a poorly written and acted series.
Disney, their eyes closed! They refuse to see how they are destroying this franchise.
Kiazi's children and Padawan's, their faces wet.
I wanted to cry at how bad this was.
Dear Evan Hansen (2021)
Dear Evan Hansen
Who do you remind of?
What's that guys name from Superbad?
Michael Cera! Who by the was named Evan in the movie.
This is no good. The musical doesn't translate into a movie. A slow, dull, plodding, plot that made little sense.
Skip it and go watch McLovin. Chicka chicka yeah!
A Bronx Tale (1993)
The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever.
The irony.
A well told coming of age story set in the Belmont section of the Bronx, known as Bronx Little Italy, during the turbulent 60s.
It is filled with life and colorful characters and great lines of dialogue, and De Niro, in his debut as a director, hits all the right notes.
My one complaint is Calogero's improbable relationship with Taral Hicks' African-American beauty. No way.
No Exit (2022)
No Exit had No Depth No Soul
I like to say movies like this should be comfort food made from scratch. Fast and fun.
Well this movie is comfort food you find in a rest area that's been sitting under a heating lamp for too long. Fast but no fun. I needed an extra portion of fiber to get it out of my system.
The dialogue and acting was second rate. I didn't care for Darby with her dumb decision making and was not invested in Jay, a very mature nine year old.
Monday (2020)
White Washed Buildings and the Aegean Blue Sky
What could be more romantic?
There was a story to tell but the writer/director/actors couldn't find it.
A slow, dry, dull, story. The main actors had no chemistry. Almost as bad as Anakin and Padme in Star Wars. Okay not that bad but close.
Make the Greek scenery, food, retsina, music, part of the movie. If not then why set it in Greece?
Go watch 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'
The Dry (2020)
Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!
My review of the book by Jane Harper.
I wanted to jump into the pages and be part of Kiewarra.
Jane Harper's first novel was a well written emotional read. I really connected with Aaron Falk and his struggle to find out the truth of his friends Luke and Ellie's deaths. I like the way she told two stories at once 20 years apart.
It was refreshing to see police portrayed in a positive light instead of incompetent, corrupt, bumbling fools. I almost cried at the ending... our secret.
Look forward to meeting Aaron again in the land down under. Till then I will have a Fosters beer in their honor.
Unfortunately I didn't feel the same way about the movie. I didn't connect with Eric Bana or any of the other characters. The two timeline was a bit awkward and confusing. Still a good slow burn whodunnit but the book was much better.
Star Trek: Voyager: Body and Soul (2000)
You became sexually aroused in my body!
Seven of Nine: And the massage you got from Lieutenant Jaryn?
The Doctor: Entirely therapeutic!
Seven of Nine: You became sexually aroused in my body!
Ha! The best line of the series!
Ever notice that the non humans have the best role.
Seven
Doc
Data
T'Pol
K-2SO ok he was from Rogue One but you get the point.
Poltergeist (1982)
This house is clean
Well maybe not.
I know this sounds like an old man but they don't make horror movies like this anymore.
First class acting, characters you connect with, and plot that slowly builds to a very satisfying ending.
News of the World (2020)
Tom Hanks acting delivers
A slow but absorbing ride down the Western trail in 1870.
With Lady Luck riding shotgun Tom Hanks lives to read the news another day.
Reminded me of the movie True Grit.
Goodfellas (1990)
Vinnie, don't put too many onions in the sauce.
Shawshank Redemption, Star Wars(1977), Rocky, Fugitive.
Movies that you stop to watch as you're flipping through the channels.
Goodfellas is one of the greatest films ever made, particularly in the gangster genre. It is the high point of Martin Scorsese's career.
Freaky (2020)
Tom Hanks in Big?
No.
Lindsey Lohan in Freaky Friday?
No.
Fred Savage in Vice Versa?
No.
Jason from Friday the 13th meets Kirsten Dunst from Bring It On?
Getting warmer.
Impractical Jokers: The Movie (2020)
Tell'em Stevedave
Qs Four Color Demon jacket was cool.
The Paula Abdul parts were unnecessary.
The pranks were the same as the tv show. If you like the tv show you can make through the movie.
Harmless fun.
Greenland (2020)
I was rooting for the comet
Cliches aplenty.
Dry, dull vignettes.
Lacked the personality and humor of Armageddon with Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck
The Syfy channel can do it just as good.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
Comfort Food
Kristy Swanson is an underrated actress.
This was a fun romp
Hanging with your friends in the Mall food court eating good junk food
Bring back the 90s!
Arctic (2018)
You will go to the Dagobah system.
Oh, sorry. Wrong movie
This was Tom Hanks in Castaway but set in the Arctic.
A Wampa ice creature made a cameo.
That ending. Come on!
Don't Let Go (2019)
Frequency without the aurora borealis
This was just like the movie with Dennis Quad and Jim Caviezel but with sub par acting and a muddled plot
Timelines are non linear. Wait. What?
Underwater (2020)
Killer Octopus
We were not given anytime to get to know the characters.
In Aliens we got to know Ripley, Hudson, Hicks, Vazquez, and the rest of the crew as they sat around the table eating a meal then being briefed about the mission.
Just an okay movie. The acting was just okay. I was never a big fan of Kristen Stewart. The set was too dark because of the small budget.
Hey Vazquez have you ever been mistaken for a man?
No. Have you?
Cats (2019)
Cat O Nine Tails Whip
Full disclosure i was playing online poker while watching this.
I saw the play on Broadway so i knew what i was in for.
What was missing? The booming voices! I felt the singing was a bit flat.
Needed a dominatrix cat with a whip to spice things up.
I've seen worse. Clean your house or do the laundry while watching.
Richard Jewell (2019)
Kathy Scruggs of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, slept with an FBI agent to get information on the investigation.
Kathy broke the story that security guard Richard Jewell was the focus of the
bombing. Irresponsible journalism. Kathy went to her grave protecting the identities of her sources. She died in 2001.
A good slow burn movie. The FBI real bumbled this investigation. Richard was a bit weird but there was no evidence to accuse him. The bombing happened a year after Oklahoma and Timothy McVeigh so the pressure was on but still a poorly investigated crime.
The Godfather Part II (1974)
It was an abortion. An abortion, Michael.
Just like our marriage is an abortion. Something that's unholy and evil. I didn't want your son, Michael! I wouldn't bring another one of you sons into this world! It was an abortion, Michael! It was a son Michael! A son! And I had it killed because this must all end!
Wowza!
They don't make movies like this anymore.
Better than the first?
I say yes because this is more complicated. Just read the header.
A true masterpiece.