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Reviews
Priscilla (2023)
Not as interesting as you would think
I wasn't sure what to expect going into this movie after the most recent Elvis related biopic and I will say I was pleasantly surprised by this film being more grounded in reality. What I missed seeing was the actual relationship between Elvis and Priscilla like where was the connection they see a movie and lay in bed and very rarely travel. Other than Priscilla begging for physical intimacy there is no real depiction of a real relationship. I don't know if it's rushed or lazy but there are moments that feel like they should be more significant or detailed like her parents saying no to things or having more concerns about the relationship but instead a man says let me talk to your dad and boom it's all good. Also why did the soldier at the beginning want Priscilla specifically to come to Elvis's like it felt human trafficky that he was so fixated on her coming seemingly without Elvis ever even seeing her before. Was she the only single American female under the age of 30 on this base? It was weird. It was just boring even the "dramatic" moments were quite tame and felt half hearted. There was no life in the movie, it was very subdued and boring especially given the subject matter.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)
Rushed
I was really looking forward to this as a fan of the original series and the book and I was mostly happy with the end result. Like a lot of others I felt that the story was rushed and I feel like there was enough material for two movies the before and the games and then the after in 12. So many things were left unexplained that were important to the plot and provided more insight into the themes of the story. How things were left with Lucy was disappointing compared to how it was written. I thought the casting was spot on and the only downside was that the story was so rushed that a lot of characters were blink and you missed them.
Warhorse One (2023)
Choices
I think where this movie went wrong is in a lot of the little choices. Like Mirko is this no nonsense serious operator but he has a mullet. Which shouldn't be a large issue but it was so out of tone with the rest of the film that every time I noticed it, it distracted me. When Mirko and Zoe come across the leader of the bad dudes and Mirko just believes that while they are in the middle of a mountainous area running and hiding from militants they are just going to come across an innocent goat herder carrying a semiautomatic? Like really? Of course the guy isn't going to be honest and be like actually I'm totally out here trying to kill you when you have a gun focused on him but you would literally have to be 7 to believe him. Those are just a couple examples but there are other little moments that are so out of place it takes you out of the story. I will say that the actress that plays Zoe did a fantastic job and I could of done with less solo moments of Mirko (they get long and boring) and have more moments of their interactions which help to portray him as an interesting and complex character. The ending is silly like I'm sure this little girl has grandparents or other family members that would get custody of her before some random man she met in a foreign country, even if he did save her life, at most he would be like an adopted uncle/family friend or something but while not believable it was satisfying and I'm glad she got her real life Louie.
Napoleon (2023)
Long and boring
The production value of the movie is great but that's where the good things end. The story is a bit choppy at times and I think it has a lot to do with them trying to cram in so many different events into the movie there isn't time to explain how and why things are happening. Also the direction of the movie is a bit confusing is it a story about Napoleon's rise and fall or a study of Napoleon and Josephine's relationship? They could have cut a couple of the sex scenes between the two for the sake of time and it just got redundant. There were too many battle scenes of just watching foot soldiers or soldiers on horse back that were far too long. It felt like just hitting events on a timeline versus a narrative with a plot and direction. Lastly, half the time you couldn't understand a word Joaquin Phoenix was saying. I do not recommend.
The Little Mermaid (2023)
Could have been worse
I think a lot of people are being too tough on this remake. Was it as magical as the first one? No, but it never was going to be. Compared to what it could have been I thought this film was entertaining and all of the vocals were better than I expected. Looking at you Melissa McCarthy. Even creepy CGI flounder was not as off putting as in the previews. Though his character was not as featured as I would have liked him to be. The only character that to me did not fit was King Triton. I don't know if it was his accent or the kind of weird fitting armor(?) that he was wearing but he was not it for me. Idris Elba ala his Heimdal look from the Thor movies would have been perfection! I liked that they made Prince Eric more of an actual person with interests in this movie and showed that he and Ariel had similar interests with exploring and collecting. I get why they couldn't have done Les Poisson in this adaptation but I did miss chef Louie. Also Awkwafina was better than expected and Halle has the most gorgeous voice! Overall I enjoyed it and I thought it was respectful to the original.
Elvis (2022)
Big old nope
There is so much that could be explored about Elvis's life with a biopic that is focused on substance and not on the flash and nonsense that is the focus of this film. The inclusion of animated graphics and modern music (when portraying some of the greatest musicians of all like i.e. Mama Thornton) is distracting and not needed. It pains me to say it because I love Tom Hanks but whatever accent he is doing is terrible and again distracting. Also the fat suit is so poorly done like come on. Austin Butler does a good job with what he was given but the eyeliner they put on him is so over done it looks cartoonish. This had such potential; with a different director who isn't so caught up with the idea of glitz and glam over the quality of the narrative it could have been something. So disappointing!!
Inside Man (2022)
So bad and such a waste of time
Somehow I ended up watching all 4 episodes but only because I couldn't believe that well known and respected actors actually agreed to participate in such a frustrating and a completely implausible piece of crap. No one, not even a completely insane person would ever act like any of these people ever. The warden? Wtf! Janice was so completely annoying I was begging for her to die. The only semi likable characters were Mary, the vicar's wife, and Dillon, the other guy on the death row. Also what in hell is this ending? Please for humanity's sake don't make another season of this nonsense. I love Stanley Tucci and the reason I started this was because of him and this almost diminishes that love.
Luckiest Girl Alive (2022)
So many thoughts
For reviewers who are confused as to why TifAni stabbed her friend instead of her rapist because her friend was "helping" her completely miss the fact that this guy was going around shooting at innocent people. As a sexual assault survivor/victim whatever terminology I may want my attacker to be miserable or even dead but I don't have the capacity to kill him now if there was someone by me with a large gun shooting at people I would hope I would act. Who's to say that he would have stopped after Dean? This wasn't about avenging her it was about getting revenge. I think that the story here would have been better served by being a mini series so that there could be time for more depth so that some of the characters didn't come off as being one dimensional and seeing more background about things like Ani's relationship with her mom and her being so against her mom finding out about her rape. I also would have loved to have seen more about Mr. Larson because that scene in the gas station when he hugs her gave me chills. Overall I thought it was good and it definitely kept my attention I just felt like there were aspects of character and plot development that were missing that would have made this an outstanding watch.
What If...?: What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger? (2021)
Meh
This was just meh, the story was basically the same as the first captain America movie but super rushed and Peggy as the hero I think it should have started out similarly but as different choices were made the story should have change following the logic of the multiverse. I also think not having Steve be the winter solider was a missed opportunity.
The Prince (2021)
It's really as bad as they say
They could have done this without the kids in it and with some lessons in comedy and animation and then maybe it wouldn't be the abomination that it is.
Venomous (2001)
A lot of logic missing here.
I like Treat Williams but this movie is not very good. Also they killed a dog for no reason. A very cute dog. Gertrude deserved better.
The Ottoman Lieutenant (2017)
I wanted it to be better than it was
Ben Kingsley can do no wrong in my book and his character probably had the best character development in the whole film which is saying something. The lead female was meh. Definitely needs some work on perfecting an American accent. Whatever accent she was using I found to be distracting also she looks 14 which against Josh Hartnett and the other guy (who was very handsome and I thought did as good of a job as he could with the material he had did not look Turkish which is probably because I think he is Dutch) seemed creepy. Speaking of creepy Hartnett's character seemed like one of those guys who is like the nice guy never wins and pouts and blames the girl who never expressed any romantic interest in him for not returning his feelings. Also the historical accuracy here is pretty non-existent which ok there are quite a few period films who take liberties with history but at least the acting, script, and plot make up for it but this is not one of those films. Was it absolutely terrible? No, I mean it kept my focus and I finished it but it wasn't satisfying and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It's like a B List version of The Promise but this film goes light on the Turks genocidal actions and instead focuses on mostly white people problems during a period of Eastern European/Middle Eastern history.