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Ian_Maitland
Reviews
...E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldilà (1981)
Pretty solid 80s Italian horror
The beginning is pretty slow after the opening scene but the film picks up and depicts very creative special effects. That and the music bump this up a notch. 8/10.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Just pure brilliance.
I can't say I've related to a movie more in so many different and diverse possible ways. The film captures so many facets of the human experience. It is genuine heartfelt, smart, philosophical, funny, thrilling and wild.
Witchtrap (1989)
A bold Five
This is probably some of the worst acting I've seen in film. But it is kind of enjoyable in a way. A lot of the actors are just regurgitating their lines with little to no emotion while being haunted by a mysterious ghost. It is unclear wether or not it is about a trap for witches or a trap by a witch, but either way this film deserves a watch by any B horror movie buff.
Street Trash (1987)
It just didn't have to be as rapey as it is.
Title says it all. This is a weird movie for sure, made worse by pretty horrible depictions of the uhoused. About 40 minutes in I put the speed up to x1.5 and that made it way better. It did reach that critical point of being so bad you kind of have to keep watching. 3/10 only watch if you've watched way too many already bad movies and you're lost in a vicious cycle.
Get Out (2017)
A masterpiece. Truly.
By far one of the most intense, interesting, and thoughtful films I have ever seen. I am at a loss for words. Thought provoking and cathartic. I especially appreciate how the director tricks you right at the end while gripping you throughout.
Midnight Mass (2021)
A refreshing take
It was a piece of absolute brilliance. I have never experienced such a unique story. I'm just saying it would have been nice if anyone acknowledged that the "angel" was in fact a vampire. Just saying.
Beware! The Blob (1972)
Oh dear glob why?
This is probably one of the most poorly made/written movies I have ever seen. Admittedly it is impressively bad, so it might be worth a watch just for that. From the humorless attempts at comedy, to the poorly written characters/dialogue, and the confusing and uncomfortable cinematography, this is just a bad, bad movie. 2 stars.
DeepStar Six (1989)
Only one inconsistency and one hugely dumb writing choice
The only unbelievable thing is that they have 6 months worth of pressurized hairspray at the bottom of the sea. 6/10.
I wrote that ^ before seeing the shoe-horned "please God save my fiancé" scene. Ffs.
Steel (1997)
Loved it
Charmingly terrible but fun. I don't know if this is a pro or con, but at no point do you forget that you are watching Shaq. Con is you can't forget about the actor and enjoy the character. Pro is shaq is hilarious and charming. Generally fun. May as well give it a shot.
Heathers (1988)
A good film past it's time
I think this is a good movie, but in 2021 it just left a bad taste in my mouth. It does not handle the subject matter well and I fear how it may have influenced real world events and tragedies.
Highlander (1986)
Interesting, but poorly told story
This film is inherently interesting considering it's fantastical elements, however it falls quite short of being a well executed concept. With too much emphasis on the action and too little on developing the characters, Highlander fails to keep me interested while simultaneously confusing me with its "point". I don't think this is a well thought out film. Clancy Brown, Sean Connery, and the use of Queen's music throughout makes it generally enjoyable, but nothing more beyond that. Oh and Christopher Lamberts accent sounds EXACTLY like Tommy Wiseau's from The Room, which unfortunately validates Tommy's acting more than it deserves.
Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Oh dear lord no
How this movie has a 5.5 rating at the moment is beyond me. This is a hot piece of garbage directed by Stephen King while he was being treated for cocaine addiction and that seriously explains everything. Just don't even bother with this film. I am sad I cant get this time back.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Boring
A solidly boring film. Did not get more than 20 minutes in. Just seriously couldn't give a f.
The Wicker Man (2006)
Wtf?
I am sincerely confounded as to why this currently has a 3.7. This film is actually not that bad. Take a few scenes out of context and it looks odd but seriously it's better than 3.7. 6 stars minimum.
Hubie Halloween (2020)
This is not a good movie
This movie is bad and I feel bad for watching it. Happy Madison humor has not evolved and is targeted at a super low brow audience. I was curious to see what 2020 Sandler goody comedy would be, it it's just sad. None of the characters are relatable and I am confused as to its existence.