Change Your Image
joelashley-704-631621
Reviews
The Burrowers (2008)
Not described on Prime as horror genre
This would've been a good movie, with its quality direction, acting, camerawork, etc. Then I got suspicious that this promising Western, one of our favorite genres, might be more basically someone's imagination gone awry. It would've saved us a lot of mid-movie disappointment had Prime been descriptive enough and alluded to the "horror" angle up front.
If you like Westerns, don't get sucked into this one. Having made it 3/4 through the thing before creatures appeared, we stuck it out to the end, but with much negative comment, and only to be even more disgusted with the lousy ending, which would've been just as bad if imaginary creatures weren't involved.
Condor's Nest (2023)
Start to finish
This began like some of the better WWII flicks and captured our attention. There is intrigue as we ferret out the plot. But somewhere in the middle it degenerated into too much soap opera, with the realization that there was a writers' addiction to regular and over-used pistol-to-the-head killing. The wife quit and left for bed halfway through. I should have, but hoped it would wash out better... it didn't.
There was some good acting, but the overall movie sank, especially near the end where the main character gets hold of a heavy gun and starts killing dozens of bad guys, bad guys with automatic rifles, and that are dumb enough to keep incessantly running into the open in front of him, as comrades fall under their feet.
As realistic and engaging as this thing started, it sure degraded into just another lousy unrealistic shoot ''em up by its finish.
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
Too slow
If there just weren't so many scenes through windshields of characters just sitting and watching, and watching, and.... They go on much too long and with dialogue that's not all that meaningful. With those boring shots more minimal, at least the ones with nothing happening or said, the movie wouldn't be half bad and got a thumbs up. But the wife's numerous yawns during the first half, until lives started to come together enough to make some sense, we're telltale. 10-15 minutes could've been cut and made this move along better. I almost quit it when the car seat shots got so repetitively lugged down.
Fire Country (2022)
Too much soap opera
Not enough action. Like Seal Team, the title isn't enforced by the stories enough. There's too much psychology schooling and little real believable deeds. Some emergency circumstances aren't realistic as staged and with reference to timeline. While characters interact in social personal issues, emergencies requiring immediate attention are delayed and pushed to the background. But on top of that, fires seem digitally added or contrived, and don't advance or get put down in a timely fashion. They always wait for personal issues to work toward resolution, but resolution always gets put off til the next episode.
An example is with the car hanging over the edge of a forest bridge. With the available equipment and personnel, the vehicle would with common sense have been secured to not move. Plus, it wasn't really all that much over the edge that it would've fallen, regardless. Then the lead character falls with the car 60 feet into a river with no significant injury. But the rescue attempt dragged out way beyond a reasonable amount of time while characters struggled with family and personal problems.
Although many popular dramatic situation programs are slowed by soap opera interactions, especially on ABC, and CBS' Fire Country follows suit, there are better situation dramas that aren't quite as bogged down in that manner, such as NBC's Wednesday night Chicago-based threesome. Even the fires there are better staged and believable, and advance or are put down in a much more acceptable timeline.
On the now defunct Seal Team, his character was more entertaining and intriguing. It's only another disappointment to us Seal Team fans that happily anticipated Fire Country's debut.
Horizon Line (2020)
Don't bother
If you've run out of other films to watch, yeah this is an option I guess. It has some "action". Allison and Alexander's acting just didn't reach any heights here, and his was not up to his Viking Uhdred record. I think part of it was some directing failures here and there. Allison just rubbed me the wrong way, too, with the personality she portrayed... controlling one minute, panicking and hysterical the next... drove me nuts; the director shouldn't have settled for those shots.
As others note, the whole premise may be reasonable, but the screenwriters overdid their imagination, early-on losing semblances to reality. The further into the over-written, event-drowned flight we go, the more it became laughable in parts that should have been conceivable drama. They might as well have marqueed it a horror movie, given that its just one detached-from-reality, dumb thing after another. Even the emotional moments between characters and upon someone's death lack believability. You don't even have to have pilot training to snicker at some stupid flight scenes that wouldn't really occur, in spite of other scenes that are plausible.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Awfully disappointing
We find it hard to cipher why such well-heeled stars would consent to do such an awful movie. They must've been desperate for parts.
I almost bailed a third of the way through, on the wife's disdainful comments, but kept hoping redemption wasn't far away. Not. It makes some indication of being comedic, but any genuine chuckles were few. A waste of our viewing time. Big stars do not translate into great movies, and in this case the producers really wasted their moneys. So please don't base your choice of watch time on who's in the movie.
Tater Tot & Patton (2017)
Started okay, but went to the dark side
I began getting tied up in this one 15 minutes in. The acting is good. Most other parameters are also good.
But about half way in the music and storyline became depressing. Too much of characters drinking or getting potted doesn't help. I have little tolerance for real people hiding in a can or bottle, and don't need minute-after-minute exposure to it masquerading as entertainment. Too much of people wizzing too; I don't know why screenwriters and directors think that adds to their films. It has no value and is unnecessary to the story.
Mostly we hated the negative turn this film took suddenly. Darkness descended, moods switched inexplicably to deep depression, and the music tone tanked. Towards film end we see why, but regardless there is not enough salvation at the very end to pull viewers out of the funk forced onto us.
The Mercenary (2019)
Terrible directing and unrealistic action scenes
The acting could maybe slide by but would certainly win no awards. But the action scenes were contrived, and whoever was in charge of blood realism should go back to training school. Severed neck arteries won't shoot steady streams 4 feet. The "hero" character comes off too quiet, condescending to superiors, and introverted.
You should skip this and look for other action films with better ratings.
The Irishman (2019)
Too long
The acting was as to be expected from such icons. But the movie is simply too long getting to its premise: what supposedly became of Jimmy Hoffa. As usual, DeNiro's character plods along almost aloof to circumstances around him, projecting this non-challant, almost ignorant, innocent child aura; then suddenly and without warning he dispatches a friend or acquaintance with hardly a care. Insight into Hoffa is appreciated. But by the end of the film I was worn out. It could've been a half hour shorter.
Quiet River (2014)
Slow and plodding, poor directing
The plot is mildly interesting, but simple. Perhaps too simple for the screenwriters to adequately explore and present. It's almost as if it was made up by the crew as they shot it. Disjointed in places; some sequential scenes didn't abut each other sensibly. Some scenes are poorly designed or lazily monitored, such as when the grandfather clock's chiming is left in the scene at the neighbor's house; if not kiboshed by the director at shooting, at least editing should've pointed it out later and instigated a reshoot. It totally interrupts and derails the dialogue between actresses Rebecca and Lauren.
Most annoying was the main character's stumbling dialogue. Too much of my time frittered away with the camera on Claire (actress Rebecca) and waiting for her to assemble a complete thought and put together a concise statement or question. Drove me nuts. Instead of her saying the obvious, we are left aching while her mind stalls for repeated eternities. I place more of this on the direction than on the actress, but it felt like both hold some responsibility... perhaps it's unfettered overacting, trying to demonstrate with the face what they thought was taught in acting class, but that should've simply been forthcoming with words.
Except for the fact that I've seen worse movies, I'd have given this only one star.
Certain Women (2016)
What the heck is the plot?
This movie's meaning totally escaped us. There appears to be 3 somehow related "plots", but none are decipherable much less the overall meaning the writers were trying to convey. We both dozed at various points, the wife in fact snoozed the last 20 minutes ... we'll, she didn't actually miss much. The acting was okay, except for the super long, drug-out scenes of a lone actor just staring, or endless facial shots of someone driving. What possible life-changing enlightenment is one supposed to derive from that is beyond me, but today's directors and editors seem to think they are adroitly hitting us with ploys as ingenious as Hitchcock or Ford. Not.
Blood Country (2017)
Terrible "western"
Some of the acting was acceptable, but most was like from acting school flunkouts. There were strange, exceedingly long pauses where the viewer's time is wasted and the actor is just staring and apparently in some sort of deep thought, or just brain dead.
Most aggravating was the insecure audio that was all over the map. The interior scenes had such strong, loud echoes that we had to turn the amp down to "40" whereas the standard setting is "12" (higher numbers = louder), and the echo affect and contrived accents meant we couldn't understand 30% of the words, so we had to use captioning. Outside scenes often required resetting the volume back toward "16", but the audio screw up in this movie is pervasive, with odd echo effects even lingering in those.
Christmas Belle (2013)
Another feel good Xmas love story
This one wasn't all that bad as story lines go. But most of these PG holiday girl meets boy TV specials have incessant music accompaniment that over soothes the heart. Unfortunately this one is worse than most. The constant piano/violin in the background mutes the believability of the storyline, and ultimately destroys the climactic scenes because it's incessance is worn thin by then. Music should support the hot scenes, but can't here.
The acting is acceptable, but though I adore Haylie, she could have dropped a few pounds for this one, getting back to her best look, so as to more reasonably match her costar's figure and presence.