lauren0531 Reviews

As Above, So Below (2014)

A smash up of movies. Not bad.

[7/10 · 1 January 2023]

This is a smash up of movies so there is nothing new here, but it's made pretty well.

It's not a great movie but certainly not a bad movie, though it took me four tries to get through it over the last few years as it is a little slow.

Imagine National Treasure meets Goonies meets The Descent meets Indiana Jones Last Crusade.

The ending fails, but the beginning to early-middle are unique and smart. Not quite a horror or an adventure film, but offers some definite claustrophobic mood.

The main lead actress is great-I liked her and would watch other movies with her in it. The rest of the acting is fine.

Smile (V) (2022)

Laughingly bad-parody

[3/10 · 19 November 2022]

First, the acting of Bacon is awesome. I cannot wait to see her in more films. She's a mix of Hilary Swank and someone else that I can't put my finger on.

The movie is NOTHING without the eery music and about 4 predictable jump scares. The biggest problem with the movie is that it wants you to be on the edge of your seat waiting for a jump scare the ENTIRE movie, but the scares actually never come. And when the maybe 4 predictable jumps do come, they are totally laughable.

The whole movie is totally predictable, and offers nothing new and certainly nothing scary. Mix up FALLEN, The Ring, It Follows, and about a dozen other movies and then make it a parody/comedy and that's what this is. So so so bad.

Ted Lasso: Beard After Hours (2021) Season 2, Episode 9

Filler episode

[6/10 · 25 August 2022]

F I L L E R

Episode.

Bummer.

Really like Beard and they made him look like a talkative chatty sissy. Better without this episode. When will writers/producers learn that less is more? I would rather one less episode in the series over this filler stuff.

Ted Lasso (2020–2023)

Smart as hell

[9/10 · 22 August 2022]

Get past the first few episodes and you'll be sucked right in. Smartest writing I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. Fabulous acting. Absolutely awesome. Keep this show coming!

Malicious (2018)

Could've been a 6

[4/10 · 27 July 2022]

Could've been a 6 or a 7 because the backdrop and score was very eery, the main actors did fine.

Lost 3 stars the second the sister walked in. Her acting is less than LMN.

Southbound (2015)

Better than expected

[6/10 · 27 July 2022]

"Spell" is a more authentic, first person version of "The Skeleton Key."

The acting was better than expected, which is good since the main actor led the movie. Some of the screenplay felt a little cliche but the movie as a whole was still way more genuine and authentic than The Skeleton Key.

The Night House (2020)

Slow burn, smolder and fizzle

[6/10 · 8 July 2022]

Reminds me of What Lies Beneath, or Disturbia, Sixth Sense, Stir it Echoes, and feels a little like Lake Mungo. Very slow burn, dark and eery. Mysterious and suspenseful, but moves a little TOO slow. HALL carries this movie. I've seen her in some movies, like The Gift, and honestly, she annoyed the heck out of me. She was FABULOUS, perfect even, in this movie though and I'd watch the movie only for her performance. The ending is anticlimactic, but unexpected nonetheless. 4 for the movie itself and 2 extra credit points for Hall.

Abandoned (III) (2022)

Predictable.

[4/10 · 30 June 2022]

I really wanted to like this movie.

It's a muddled mess of about 10 movies. The acting is not good-the script is laughable. The baby changes every scene and is OBNOXIOUS. Emma Roberts looks ridiculous with a baby.

Something lies beneath.

The others.

Sixth sense.

Amityville Any predictable lifetime movie.

It is really that bad. Such a disappointment.

The Requin (2022)

Skip.

[2/10 · 16 June 2022]

I'm a horror flick diva. I'll watch the cheesiest and worst horror movies, and finish them, just because I am not a quitter. I quit this. Horrible. Don't do it. It's that bad. I really WANTED to like it, but it was 99% worse than a lifetime movie and 200% worse than a B movie. So bad.

Spiral (2021)

Predictable but fine.

[5/10 · 12 April 2022]

One hundred percent predictable but fine. Chris Rock did not annoy me. The voice of "the jigsaw" was ridiculous and annoying. Other than that, it was fine.

The Surface (I) (2014)

Is it a comedy?

[1/10 · 8 January 2022]

Oh boy.

It is BAD. Between Sean's loud chewing and stories of his bad luck/choices/severe lack of intelligence and any kind of smarts, and the pilot's absolutely hideous acting, this meant to be drama is laughable, a comedy.... Almost parod-ic.

Suicide is no laughing matter, but Sean really would have been making the right decision to kill himself given how dumb he is and the injuries and deaths he caused people in his life. (Uhhhhh, assigning his dad a job and his dad ultimately having his head squished in between a delivery truck and the loading dock.... But seriously funny!!!)

Midsommar (2019)

If you liked Tusk, you'll like this.

[4/10 · 7 January 2022]

It's a nope for me.

1 star for the cinematography 1 star for the idea/premise.

From the beginning, I had difficulty finding any of the characters likeable, which is essential to the possibility of the watcher having interest in a film such as this one. Florence (main) is absolutely obnoxious to watch; annoying, clingy, and whiny before her trauma even occurs. Then she becomes even more hideous, with terrible voice tone, sounds, facial expressions and "mute the tv" crying.

This is not a true horror flick. This is one of those "artistic" horror films that some either love or downright hate. If you've seen "Tusk," your feelings about that movie will be similar to this. I didn't care for it, but appreciated its theory, and I still don't appreciate this film.

I'm left nauseous, annoyed, which can sometimes be an effect of a well-made movie, even if one disliked it, but this film will be forgotten for me once I finish writing this review.

The Final Wish (2018)

Cringeworthy acting.

[3/10 · 6 January 2022]

1 star for the idea/plot.

1 star for Welch. Good acting!

1 star for I dunno, keeping my attention.

But literally could not continue to watch the acting of Bolona (Lisa). Absolutely terrible. And I mean TERRIBLE. Entire movie totally shot.

Old (2021)

You either love an M. Shy movie or hate it

[2/10 · 3 January 2022]

I hated it.

I loved Split. I loved the Sixth Sense. I loved The Happening. I really liked Signs, I loved and hated The Village and The Visit. I hated Lady in the Water and I hated this.

1 star for scenery 1 star for the idea/plot.

I gave Us a similar but higher rated review.

Bloodline (III) (2018)

YOU meets Equalizer meets yawn.

[5/10 · 30 December 2021]

Seann more than holds his own, and carries this dark film. Though predictable and cliche, somewhat boring and painfully slow, it's worth watching once.

Malignant (I) (2021)

Split meets Goonies

[6/10 · 12 December 2021]

Sooooo much potential, great acting by Maddy and her sister and the detective, Keh. The female detective LITERALLY ruined the entire movie. Predictable and cliche. Relatively fun to watch.

The Woman in the Window (2021)

...

[7/10 · 2 October 2021]

Arlington Road meets Girl on a Train meets Copycat meets Disturbia meets Malice meets Panic Room.

Stillwater (2021)

Disappointing

[5/10 · 7 September 2021]

I had high hopes, but was left disappointed. The acting is nomination worthy. And... that's about it. There is no climax, no ending, and the whole thing at the end felt purposeless. It's a watch once and forget it movie.

The Unholy (2021)

Horrible. Avoid.

[2/10 · 5 September 2021]

The 2 stars are for Jeffrey Dean Morgan ONLY. He is kicking himself for this movie. It is HIDEOUS. The acting is embarrassing to watch, it is 1000% about the Virgin Mary vs. Evil, and is a total joke. None of it is even fathomable even to those of us that reach deeply for anything good in our passion of horror films. It feels like a Lifetime made for TV movie, but even more C-Rated. It should be rated PG, there is no ambience or "feel" to it, it's ridiculously laughable. Makes you wonder, or hope, that you're watching a parody. I am not rating it a 2 to lower the overall rating from a 5.1-I'm appalled that it has a 5.1 when it should be a 1.5. It's really that bad.

Us (II) (2019)

It's a no for me.

[3/10 · 21 July 2021]

The idea is awesome, the actors are awesome, the dynamics between the characters are awesome, and the setting/scenery/feel is awesome. And that's it.

The entire execution is confusion and boring, the ending is lazy and disappointing, and the twist (it's not a twist at all-it's an "ugh-" of disappointment) is so not even mediocre or surprising or exciting in any way at all. In fact, it's a huge let-down.

If you make it through the movie without falling asleep and reach the end of the movie, I'm sorry if you're feeling like I am- you just wasted 2 hours for absolutely nothing.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Rated the first one a 10/10

[7/10 · 10 June 2021]

John Krasinki's absence from this movie is a HUGE loss. Emily Blunt's diminished appearance time is also a huge loss. Those are the 2 characters we care about the most and their lack of relationship and lack of screen time is so sorely missed. I craved to connect with another character and longed to genuinely care about another, but found myself irritated with the screaming boy and independent girl, whom both just literally lost their father only a day or two prior.

Would absolutely LOVE to see a 3rd film focusing again on Krasinksi and Blunt, their relationship and their struggles as parents in a very COVID-like world. It would be very fun to see not only day 1 and days 89 and 400-something, but also night 1, and days 2-88, so that we can see their reaction to finding out they're having a baby in a quiet world, so that we can see how they prepare their home to be silent, so that we can see them call their parents and friends, and so that we can see them struggle to teach their children how to become quiet when children simply are not.

I just crave so much more than what the sequel provided and definitely was let down. The performances by all of the characters were beautiful and well above average, but I really missed a climax, like Blunt's bathtub scene in the original.

Ready or Not (I) (2019)

Not a parody! So good!

[10/10 · 8 April 2021]

I'm a horrible film buff and I also like comedy. But I don't love movies that are crap horror while also trying to be funny. I don't like movies like "scary movie," "cabin in the woods," etc. I feel like horror movies should be just that-horror. OR comedy. Not mushed together. THIS movie is an exception. THE ONLY exception.

The plot is fulfilling, the acting is insanely good, the screenplay is smart and quick, the laughs are because it's FUNNY and not because it's so stupid you have to laugh, and the scares and gore are enough to call this a horror, though more a mystery, action, thriller genre.

I LOVED this movie and put it at the top of my list with other current gen movies and series I can watch over and over again that are made and acted so so well like: meet joe black, quiet place, the killing, good will hunting, split, etc. Such a smart movie. Check out my highly rated movies and shows. If we share some, you'll love this movie.

Greenland (2020)

No need for cardio today!

[8/10 · 26 December 2020]

This movie MOVES! It's a mixture of War of the Worlds meets 2012 meets Armageddon meets Deep Impact. The acting was hands-down the best of the best, the intensity from 5 minutes in until 5 minutes until the end is as high as it gets. Edge of your seat for sure! I would say almost too much intensity and too many conflicts for most movies, but it worked! The only issue with having the movie run for 2 hours at 180bpm is that the ending feels like a screeching halt, a lazy ending. Need more movies with this actress, butler, and this young child actor. Great acting!

A Star Is Born (2018)

Coyote Ugly meets Walk the Line

[7/10 · 26 December 2020]

Had SOOOOO much more potential. Could have been AMAZING, but it was "just good." Acting is good, chemistry is honestly only ok, and there was a major lack of realistic reaction from Gaga as a member of the "common" public toward Cooper as a legendary and huge and famous artist performing on stages that held over 50,000 people in their audiences, and toward her opportunities.

House at the End of the Street (2012)

Great cast, great movie!

[8/10 · 26 June 2020]

A little predictable but with another surprising small twist. Great cast and chemistry, great mood and tone, believable, acting on par. Not going to spoil it, but you'll see that "Ryan" has been "brothers" with another character in another show that is similar to this...