The_Swedish_Reviewer Reviews

Who Killed Robert Wone? (2023)

Boring documentary because it doesn't answer its own question

[2/10 · 9 May 2024]

I have heard about this case long before, but never thought it was an exciting case because I think we all know what happened. Three men killed a fourth, but the lack of "concrete" evidence leads to their acquittal. This documentary tries to maximize the mystery of how Robert Wone could be killed without the slightest trace of violence, beyond the stabbing. Unfortunately, it will just be a long harangue of staged interviews with the police investigator vs one of the defense attorneys. No new theories, clues, motives or evidence are presented in the documentary. I recommend this documentary to anyone who has never heard of the Robert Wonge case, but for anyone else familiar with the case, the series brings nothing new to the table.

This Is the End (2013)

This Is The End of comedy

[1/10 · 3 April 2024]

Wow just wow! This movie is so unbelievably bad. I wonder who the target audience is? Millennials on drugs? A bunch of C-rated "actors" end up at James Franco's house. While a post-apocalypse sets the world on fire, the C-rated "actors" act like they're five years old, screaming, fighting and using drugs. It's supposed to be fun that they all play by themselves but it's not. Honestly, participating in this so-called "comedy" has to be their worst career move ever. I understand why Danny McBride and Jay Baruchel (hate them both) thought it would be a good idea to be in this tasteless piece but Jonah Hill and Emma.. ?

I have no idea why Americans always think stupid men-children on drugs screaming, fighting and overusing sex jokes and the f-word is "comedy". GROW UP! IT IS NOT FUNNY!

The Eyes (I) (2016)

A low-budged tribute to the genre

[6/10 · 17 March 2024]

Six people wake up in a room tied to their chairs. They get 2 hours to figure out why they are there. Then bad things will happen. This is the typical premise of "escape room" movies and The Eyes is no exception. Yes, it's a low-budget contribution to genre but has a nice quirky ending. The actors are B-rated but do a decent job throughout the film. At one point the film gives away a little too much but the twist at the end saves it from a nose dive. Don't expect an excessive production. It is basically a bunch of actors, a room and a camera. But if you like escape room movies, this isn't too bad and can definitely be compared to Exam, House of 9, Nine dead and others.

Stopmotion (2023)

I believed the good reviews - bad mistake

[1/10 · 17 March 2024]

I'm writing this review because I only read the good reviews and believed them to be true. The fact is, this is not a good movie at all. It's more of an experimental school film project with basically no budget at all. It tries to be arty and "strange" but fails miserably.

It's about a young woman who's doing stop motion videos together with her stupid and unkind mom. Then the young woman found herself in a twisted dreamlike nightmarish reality and the movie becomes surrealistic but not in a good way. I'm not going to spoil it. But what makes it so bad is both the slow and dull storyline as well as the boring characters I never cared about.

As a school project, sure! But as a commercial movie I strongly recommend you to pick something else.

Nine Dead (2009)

Was about to give it 6 stars

[3/10 · 29 January 2024]

I liked it. But as most of you who read the reviews figured out, the ending is really bad. But until it ends, this is a pretty good thriller reminiscent of the SAW franchise. This is an escape room type of movie with lots of interesting clues and rewards viewers who pay attention. The acting is not too bad even though all the actors/actresses are unknown to me. But the ending makes it impossible to give Nine Dead more than 3 stars which is a shame as it would have only required some small changes to improve the ending. Despite everything, I still recommend the movie to everyone who likes escape room movies. But prepare to be disappointed.

Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

Terrible film that aged badly

[1/10 · 28 January 2024]

Staggeringly bad, childish, slow film that is clinically devoid of explanation. We get to follow a slightly strange trio consisting of the couple Jessica and Duncan and Duncan's friend Woody, who all move into a house the three bought. The couple have an odd hobby - making impressions of tombstones on large sheets of paper which then adorn the walls. In the house already lives homeless Emily, who thought it was abandoned. She is offered to stay in house with the other three because she is so nice. Jessica starts hearing whispers, seeing visions while the old men of the village treat Duncan unkindly when he goes grocery shopping. Everyone in the village has small cuts. Emily is getting more and more shady. Also, Jessica discovers that Emily resembles a woman in a very old photograph hanging in the attic. Jessica kills Duncan during one of her visions and Woody is found dead while driving his tractor. The End.

Perhaps this film is the best proof that everything was not better before. As for the tombstone prints, they are left without explanation like everything else.

No One Will Save You (2023)

No One Will Save You from this movie

[3/10 · 16 January 2024]

Is this movie about an alien invasion or is it a metaphor for mental illness? It is difficult to say. As a sci-fi movie though, I'm not that impressed. The CGI is unfortunately amateurish and very poorly done, but the director still manages to create an ominous atmosphere that compensates somewhat. A film without any dialogue sounds like a bad idea but it works even if it's not a game changer. I'm surprised this movie got so much attention because it's basically "Signs" meets "Home Alone", except for the fact that the protagonist is hated in the village where she lives. Unfortunately, IMHO the messy ending ruined the movie. It's not all bad and I understand why many people appreciate it so give it a shot but curb your enthusiasm.

Rob Schneider: Woke Up in America (2023 TV Special)

Politically incorrect, thus brilliant

[10/10 · 8 January 2024]

It's so liberating to see a stand-up comedian make fun of all the political correctness that exists both in the US and in Europe while also making fun of himself. He doesn't cross any lines yet mocking Trump and Biden in just the right way. Yes, the show is pretty sexist but hits right where it hurts the most. I understand if many left-wing activists feel offended, but that's because they don't understand humor or can't see themselves objectively. I always thought comedians are Trump-hating, conservative-contemptuous left-wingers. But I was wrong and I love it! I highly recommend this show to all who like to be challenged.

Nocturnal Animals (2016)

So slow... so boring.. so bad ending

[1/10 · 5 November 2023]

I can't believe this movie has 7.5 on IMDb! Did I watch the same movie? The storyline is so thin and pointless it's really a joke. Nothing makes sense with the two stories. What was the point? Once again I have been deceived by the excessively high rating and the nice reviews and that makes me angry. The ending is probably the worst I've ever seen. I really hate it. Just because the cinematography is good (it is really good and the only thing that is good) doesn't make a movie good. I like Jake Gyllenhaal a lot but not even he or Amy Adams nor Michael Shannon could save this disasterpiece. What a shame!

The Sleep (2022)

Unwatchable garbage

[1/10 · 14 October 2023]

This is not a scary movie. At all. This is a group of amateurs who think they've made a horror movie about drugs, magic, zombies and "medical experiments". It is so embarrassingly bad that words cannot describe it. To hide the lousy quality, the f-word is overused right through the entire movie. Also, the actors stare right into the camera and scream - a directing thing that belonged in the 60s. Everything is bad in that production: acting, directing, script, effects, scenery, make-up, props, everything feels cheap, unprofessional and amateurish to the point of being comical. I don't know what this bunch of unknown C actors had in mind, but whatever it was, it didn't work. Save your time and skip this one.

Time Lapse (2014)

I wish I could see a photo of this review yesterday

[2/10 · 13 October 2023]

That would have saved me from this is amateurish project made by high school teenagers with no understanding of directing and acting. Most of this movie makes no sense. Like the three "friends" who live in the same apartment, equipped with a huge window in the living room facing the neighbor. Movies about time travels are often so stupid that they have to be executed extremely well to work, like the "Back to the future" movies. Otherwise you end up with a high school project like this where unexperienced teenagers are trying to "act" in front of the camera. The good reviews must have been written by friends of the crew because anything above 3.5 is simply not true. Also, there is a big plot hole very similar to the one in "Limitless" - don't involve criminals if you want to get rich.

Malum (2023)

Please lock-up this movie in an abandoned police station holding cell

[1/10 · 3 October 2023]

Rookie cop Jessica volunteers to guard an old police station on the last night before it is shut down or demolished. Her father, who was also a cop, killed his colleagues and himself at this very police station. Thus, Jessica's night shift becomes a challenge/opportunity for her to get to "know" or "understand" what er father did/why he did it.

During the night shift, a homeless man, a pig and a prostitute show up at the station for no reason whatsoever. The homeless man makes his way into the building, rambles nonsense and Jessica is arrest by Jessica. He then manages to get out of his cell - and the rest of the movie. The prostitute first gets medical assistance by Jessica, then asked to leave the building - also never to be seen in the movie again. The pig however is allowed to stay until he fails to dodge a bullet.

The station is then invaded by members of a demonic cult, with poorly explained connections to her parents. The members seem to be a unique never-seen-before mix of demons, monsters and ghosts. On a USB stick, found footage explains that some of them were arrested and interrogated by Jessicas father, presumably when they still were alive/humans.

Jessica is then constantly trying to either kill or run away from the demonic monster ghosts and/or has nightmarish visions of cultish rituals (it's hard to tell what). Despite all kinds of bad, evil and supernatural things, Jessica never makes any attempt to leave the building. A rational person would probably think: "Hm.. something bad is going on in this building, so let's get out". Well, not rookie cop Jessica! Covered in blood she tried to fight or flee from all kinds of evil creatures until the predictable end comes. Either the Police Academy never taught her that bullets don't kill demonic monster ghosts, or she overslept that class.

To be fair, she actually she tried once to exit the building but somebody had locked the doors using a chain. However a little later, her mom shows up at the police station using chain-free front door, but for some unexplained reason, Jessica missed that opportunity to escape.

This movie deserves to be locked-up in a holding cell in an abandoned police station scheduled for demolition.

Cobweb (2023)

Don't trust 1-star or 10-star reviews

[6/10 · 30 September 2023]

I liked this one! It's not ground-breaking innovative and it has its flaws. It's about two creepy parents living in a creepy house, something creepy is hiding inside the house and a bullied boy with nightmares. It's the perfect setting for a good old-school horror movie. Unfortunately, it's not that creepy but I enjoyed every minute of it, Except for the terrible ending. But you can't get everything can you. There is not much acting going on so I can't really comment on that other than the little boy is doing fine. The parents are supposed to be unsettling and I think they do a desent job. Don't expect people or things will follow basic logic, because it doesn't. Just relax and enjoy the ride for what it is. It is occasionally bloody and gory but not a typical slasher movie - something I appreciated. Cobweb is definitely not a 1 star movie, nor is it a 10 star masterpiece. In my opinion 6/10 is what it deserves.

Wind River (2017)

Oh.. so slow and so average

[2/10 · 9 September 2023]

What's with all the good reviews? This is at best an average crime thriller with zero suspense and no surprises. Jeremy Renner does his usual quiet tough "lone wolf" guy character on autopilot while Elisabeth Olsen as an FBI agent is far too young for her character to be taken seriously. Many people seem to admire the cold landscape, but for me it felt dull and boring. I also wonder why native Americans are always portrayed as drug addicted losers? Like "Look what the white man did to those poor souls". The dialogues are dull, wooden and predictable. After 2/3 of the movie the whole conspiracy is also revealed and from there it's pretty much game over.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Too many plot holes

[2/10 · 28 August 2023]

While this is a fact that children are not born evil, the story in this movie basically claims the opposite and it all goes downhill from there. There are many more problems with the story. Here are some of them:

If your child shows abnormal, psychopathic tendencies, any normal family would reach out to professionals and seek help. Period.

Second, there were too many inexplicable things that happened, like the missing guinea pig, the drain cleaning incident, the very rude man who verbally attacked her at the Christmas party, her husband/dad leaving her in the hospital while she was visiting her injured daughter, her husband/dad upset when she became pregnant. Not a single explanation why all thins happened.

Third, if absolutely everyone in a town hates you, why don't you move? And why did she stay in the house when she at that point knew what happened? Speaking about hate, why did little mommy hug her son at the end? Was love and affection really the feelings that she carried that moment for her son?

Finally, where was dad all the time? He never took any responsibility at all, he just tried to smooth things over and minimize Kevin's terrible behavior.

Other things I disliked was the lack of character development. Kevin is evil. Mom has the same facial expression in every scene, staring with her mouth half open, dad is absent, random people hate mom. That's pretty much it for character development. Making the film "artsy" was a poor choice on the director's part and further broke any chance of actually getting involved in the plot.

When writing this review I decided to downgrade my rating from 3 to 2 stars.

Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)

Ignore the overly positive reviews, this one is dull and boring

[2/10 · 27 August 2023]

Well made and nice but oh so boring. The idea of contacting the other side could be exploited so much better than what happened in "Mr. Harrigan's Phone". The setting in the high school environment also felt dreary and unambitious. Hard-to-flirt girls (if you don't belong to the cool "smartphone" group), a smart stereotypical politically correct teacher whose mouth is filled with platitudes and clichés, a mandatory bully and some loser friends who add nothing to the story. The main character's father is so bland that I barely remember him even though it's been hours since I saw the movie. Donald Sutherland is the only interesting character but for obvious reasons is not in the entire film.

Uncharted (2022)

Forgettable National Treasure copycat

[1/10 · 18 August 2023]

Do I hate this movie? Yes. I do! Why? Because it is so bad. To be honest, this is by far one of the worst movies I've seen ever. Can't believe Mark Wahlberg is doing crap like this. Without a single gray hair on his dead. Looks like he is wearing a wig. You know, just because you die your hair black doesn't mean you look young. Mark is way too old for this movie. Bad script, bad actors, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad CGI, bad everything. I also feel sorry for Antonio Banderas, who has fallen into disgrace with this project. What was he thinking? Did the script look cool and interesting? The other characters are stereotypical and boring. This is nothing but a dumb stupid National Treasure copycat movie without all cool and clever things the original has. I'm especially upset about the childish helicopter scenes which were horrifically bad. High schook project?

Please save your time and money and skip this pile of s***t.

Corner Office (2022)

Comedy, yet no one is laughing

[5/10 · 16 August 2023]

This is one of the strangest and most unusual movies I've seen in a while. It's definitely thought-provoking but ultimately forgettable as it lacks a really good ending. I liked it though because the movie has a weird, psychedelic vibe that is only found in low budget indie projects. This is absolutely not a comedy and I wonder why they decided to label the film as such. It is more of a mystery tale with dark references to the abstract and meaningless life of a boring workplace. It's also very theatrical and the setting is nicely and abstract designed, just like dull offices can look like. Unfortunately, a point or conclusion is missing and when the movie ends you are left with the same empty space as the non-existing room in the movie. Worth a watch though for people who like weird and stylish movies.

You Hurt My Feelings (2023)

Sorry, I don't want to hurt your feeling

[4/10 · 10 August 2023]

First, this is a very simple story with no big surprises. The movie isn't really bad, but those expecting high level drama and big laughs will be disappointed. Without spoiling the movie, it is about our everyday white lies, which when exposed, can hurt our feelings.

The acting is acceptable, especially by Tobias Menzies who plays the husband and father. He does semi-failed family therapist very believable without exaggerations and I really enjoyed his performance. It's easy to play a tough 2D character, not so easy to play a unsecure middle age and confused man. The other actors including Julia Louis-Dreyfus get passing marks, but no more than that.

As I wrote, the plot isn't really bad. It's easy to connect to the everyday lies we all tell to encourage and support each other. What I missed was a little deeper meaning and twist. Here you only scratch a little on the surface and things end in a very predictable and unsurprising way. With just a little more drama and humor, this could have been both a thought provoking and funny gem instead of the mediocre product it became. As I write this, the movie has a 6.7 rating. Rather, it deserves around 5.0 and will be easily forgettable.

A House on the Bayou (2021)

I don't understand the good reviews

[3/10 · 6 August 2023]

Oh, I do. They are probably written by the crew or people associated with this project. Because this movie is not good. At all. It's very amateurishly produced, the acting is terrible, the plot is high school level, and the characters constantly make bad decisions.

The film is both a thriller and what is supposed to be a supernatural horror film but fails miserably. Due to infidelity, a family of three decides to rent a remote house in the woods to "heal", but makes the stupid move of inviting a mysterious young guy and his grandfather to dinner. The boy and the grandfather are unpleasant and rude, but that's not all. Nothing is quite what it seems and there is an underlying reason they are there. What could have actually been a good movie was ruined by supernatural nonsense that took away the horror.

The House on Pine Street (2015)

Annoying movie we have seen before

[3/10 · 30 July 2023]

This is a frustrating movie we've seen before. A pregnant woman feels that the house is haunted but no one believes her. It's not an entirely bad horror movie and some of the jump scares and effects are really good. But as a whole, this movie fails to deliver because it relies on well-known clichés. The acting isn't very good either. Jennifer mostly stares with her mouth half open or she screams. Her husband Luke is wooden and stereotypical and he creates the most irritation with his inability to take his wife's experiences seriously. As if that wasn't enough, Jennifer's mother is a complete disaster that no daughter would ever want to have contact with. It could have been so much better if, for example, the roles were changed so that it is the husband who experiences things while the wife does not believe him. The ending is pretty bad.

The Unseen (I) (2023)

Don't believe the 8-10 star reviews

[1/10 · 30 July 2023]

This is a terribly bad movie but as you can see, there are many very good reviews. Unfortunately, they are all fake. Most likely they are created by the crew or other people connected to this project. Use your own judgement and do not trust these stupid reviews. At best this movie deserves 2 stars.

This is a terribly bad movie but as you can see, there are many very good reviews. Unfortunately, they are all fake. Most likely they are created by the crew or other people connected to this project. Use your own judgement and do not trust these stupid reviews. At best this movie deserves 2 stars.

Little Bone Lodge (2023)

A nice indie thriller that supriced me

[7/10 · 26 July 2023]

This is a movie to my taste. It was recommended to me and I was not disappointed. The story has some unexpected twists that worked perfectly and pretty soon you realize there are more secrets than what meets the eye. The acting was overall very good and each of the actors really did a fantastic job. I was particularly impressed by the dynamic between the two brothers and their intense and complex relationship. The film takes place during a stormy night which adds mystery and atmosphere to the set. It's a low-budget production but often (not always) they surpass bombastic, big-budget Hollywood movies filled with CGI effects. Another this I appreciated was that the action began pretty early so it's not really a slow-burner. The ending is somewhat predictable but all in all this is definitely a film worth watching if you like mystery thrillers. I give it 7 out of 10 easily.

Black Mirror: Demon 79 (2023) Season 6, Episode 5

The end of Black Mirror - worst episode EVER!

[1/10 · 26 June 2023]

I have rewatched all the episodes and can only state that S6 is the worst of them all. What let-down! Worst of them all is this episode which can simply be described as horror for teenagers. All of that magic, mystery, hi-tech, parallel reality is gone, replaced by a stupid badly-made left-wing propaganda episode, where conservatives are portrayed as "appreciated by demons" turning the world to a hellish place.

Good news (as always) for socialists and communists though as their ideologies are never presented in the same horrible way in movies or series that real history has shown.

All episodes are atrocious but the two worst are Mazey Day and this joke. Is this the end of a decades-long series that offered fantastically exciting and mind-blowing entertainment? Let's hope so. I've unsubscribed to anti-conservative propaganda network Netflix once and for all.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

Otto is too nice

[5/10 · 7 May 2023]

This is a remake of the Swedish movie "En man som heter Ove" and it's a good one. However, I'm Swedish and to be honest, I think the Swedish version is a little bit better. Mostly because "Ove" is meaner, more cynical and more grumpy than "Otto" . "Otto" is definitely a good Ove-replica but lacks that badass neighbor-from-hell trait. Also the character "Jimmy" is not funny at all. Just dumb and misplaced.

Something else I thought looked odd was the Swedish/European neighborhood they all lived in. Does it really look like that in PA suburbs? Why not shoot the movie in a more typical US residential area?

And what about the real estate company that tried to kick out the black couple. In the original script it's the government - not a private company that tries to force people into nursing homes. Oh I forgot it's socialist Hollywood and private companies are bad...

Comparing the American with the Swedish version, there is much that is identical and excellently executed in A Man Called Otto, especially since they managed to preserve the quiet atmosphere in the American version. It's not a typical over the top Hollywood production (except from a few pc scenes), which is a good thing. Despite my negative comments above, it's a solid feelgood, sad, drama/comedy movie a recommend.