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Reviews
Caught (1987)
A campy delight
I recently had the dubious honour to make Dutch subtitles for this film with a view to a television broadcast in Holland. Although I was initially appalled by the poor writing, acting, direction and just about everything of this piece of evangelical cinema, I decided to make the best of it and enjoy myself. I laughed my head off.
The story concerns an American young man, Tim, who freaks out when he discovers he was sired by a Dutchman instead of the man in the photograph his mother had put in a frame, and which had been his solace during his childhood. Using his high school graduation money, he travels to Amsterdam. He has fallen prey to pimps and/or drug pushers by the time the movie opens. His search for his dad having floundered, he finds himself hustling, prostituting himself and robbing American tourists. While he is sinking into a moral quagmire, a conference of travelling evangelists is being held at the RAI conference centre. Raj from India, speaking idiosyncratic Indian English, and Abraham from Nigeria, who speaks some sort of pidgin English, end up sharing a room.
On his way to the conference, Raj encounters Tim at the Leidseplein. Tim begs for money, allegedly to get some breakfast. Well intentioned and unflappably optimist Raj religiously resolves to return there later with food for this unfortunate American boy and does indeed collect some during the conference lunch. From there on, the film turns around Tim's descent into moral depravity and his repeated and increasingly improbable meetings with Raj, who gives him food and lodging at his hotel, helps him kick his drug habit cold turkey, kicks the bad guys like a regular action hero and even hooks Tim up with his natural father, a kind veterinarian. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that he gradually converts Timothy, as he calls him, to Christianity in the process. The religiously inspired optimism and naivety of this weird Good Samaritan character, who follows his dear Timothy around like a happy puppy, is a marvel to behold, while his attempts at comedy fat flat on their face and become unintentionally hilarious.
Having lived in Amsterdam for some 17 years, I naturally enjoyed observing the geographically impossible moves of the characters around the city. However, the real delight of this picture was the psychologically improbable and poorly motivated behaviour of the characters within this cityscape. On top of this, some of the Dutch B list actors in supporting roles do their utmost to prove how bad they are at their job.
I would recommend this film to viewers of all religious or non religious persuasions, provided they have a sense of humour. However, it does offer specials delights to Dutch viewers, as they can spot Peter Blok, who went on to bigger and better things, in a tiny part, watch Hans Kemna demonstrate why he did well to stop acting and become a casting director, and hear eternal supporting actor Frederik de Groot as Jaques the pimp pronouncing the word Rembrandtsplein in English with a weird French accent, while pronouncing his lines in Dutch like any other native. When he is in a homicidal mood, his voice is dubbed by a British actor, which to me at least suggests some kind of demonic or thespian possession.
If you ever get the chance to see this, don't pass it up.
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
driving piles in Amsterdam (spoiler)
O12 created quite a buzz when sections of it were being shot in Amsterdam and Haarlem (train station scenes). In fact, I took a train from Haarlem station at the very moment when the shoot was in progress on another platform! (Really.) Loads of security, so I missed the cool guys whom we were getting force-fed by the Dutch media anyway. Big deal. And later on the movie proved disastrous.
However, that's not why I write this. I used to live in Amsterdam. Let me tell you something about this city built on piles.
The willing suspension of disbelief is helpful if you want to enjoy a piece of escapist fiction such as this, but even then there are limits. The fact that the piles supporting the Amsterdam house inhabited by the Jeroen Krabbe character were standing IN WATER was totally ludicrous. What the *** were they thinking? Do these nut cases genuinely believe that Amsterdam is some sort of raft on poles built on a lake or something? For crying out loud! The reason why houses in Amsterdam are built on piles is that the top layer of the soil is too soft to support them. That's why piles are driven into the ground until they hit a sandy layer.
I am surprised nobody else has commented on this bit of absurdity.
Rent a Friend (2000)
A romantic comedy about money
This is a pretty hilarious film that failed to get the audience it deserved in Holland or abroad. Underdog painter Alfred (Marc van Uchelen) is stuck in a relationship with soap opera writer girlfriend Moniek (Rifka Lodeizen), who does not find his oddball paintings of Mexican riddles amusing any longer. Snippets from this soap opera (acted hilariously badly - think "Boogie Nights") run parallel to their lives. When Moniek has an affair with her boss, poor Alfred finds out through watching the telly! Fed up, he moves to his sister's house and decides to go into business by offering himself for hire as a "friend". This leads to a string of sketches that involve some pretty weird negotiations about the etiquette of professional friendship with an excellent cast of Dutch comedians playing the role of customer. Business booms and Alfred soon finds himself at the head of a company called "Rent-a-Friend". He is joined by a determined young woman (Nadja Hüpscher, omnipresent in Terstall movies) with a Japanese fetish and a fetchingly broad Rotterdam accent. While the company continues to expand in surprising ways, Alfred's personal life also swings up. To complement an already very funny, if slightly episodic movie, the art direction places the story in an unfamiliar, slightly futuristic Holland that doesn't really exist - yet. It goes very well with the deadpan dialogue and the cheerful soundtrack. There are persistent rumours of an American remake, but I seriously doubt whether this can be topped.