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Reviews
Life of Pi (2012)
Most over-rated movie ever?
I've seen lots of worse movies than Life of Pi. But I'm not sure I've ever seen a more over-rated one.
The list of awards, accolades, triumphs and trophies for this movie is as long as your arm. The critics rave about it, and even the IMDb ratings hover at a very high 8/10. For the life of me I can't figure out why.
Everything in this movie happens for one reason, and one reason only: because the author wanted it to. There is no build up to any event, no context, no association to anything else. It just flits from one scene to another without a hint of flow.
In a fantasy movie like this, you normally tolerate very big plot holes. But this movie was one painfully long continuous plot hole. The tiger being under the sheet on the lifeboat for a day before he even realised it was there? Oh, come on! Worst plot device ever.
There were lots of annoying small things as well - like when the tiger eats the goat ... it somehow attacks it and drags its dead carcass away, despite the large goat being in the OUTSIDE of the cage. Spare me.
If you saw this movie at a local movie theatre on a lazy Tuesday night you would probably give it a pass mark. But I cannot possibly imagine why any jury of any film festival would even nominate this plot-driven, derivative nonsense for any award, much less go through and bestow it with more accolades than most other films in the history of cinema. Really, it's just not that good. The Emperor's new clothes?
Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese (2019)
For Bob Dylan fans only
Some rock movies - eg Bohemian Rhapsody - can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of whether you're a fan of Queens music or not. However this movie/doco offers nothing except laying out Bob Dylan on a plate. If you're not a huge Bob Dylan fan then don't watch it.
There's no development of any sort of plot or character growth - just a lot of footage of 1975 hippies playing music. If that's your thing then you'll love this film, but for everyone else I'd suggest it's a waste of your time.
Not sure why it rates so highly - probably because a vast majority of the people who watch it are Dylan fans.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Not the worst movie ever made, but probably the most over-rated
I was attracted to this film by its high review scores. If that's you as well then I will try to save you two hours of your life that you will otherwise never get back.
It starts off ok, but slowly twists and turns until it makes no sense whatsoever. I kept waiting, trusting that everything would eventually pull together, and that seemingly unrelated scenes would make sense.
None of that happened.
In the end it was simply "weird for the sake of weird". Plenty of other people seem to think this is clever, but I'm certainly not one of them.
I would have given this only 2/10, but the two lead actresses were gorgeous. For me this was the only compensation for sitting through this dribble.
Blonde (2022)
All cinematography, no story
Remember back in the early 2000s when you first used PowerPoint? Remember the thrill of discovering and showing off all of those fancy transitions, fonts and borders: the sideways slide, Comic Sans MS, the checkerboard fade etc etc etc. Remember how proud you were of your technically superior presentation?
But then you realised, half way through your presentation to the board of directors, that the whole thing was a big yawn. Everyone quickly grew bored of your fancy graphics as they realised that your content was missing. You had forgotten to include any real meaning or information -instead just pretty pictures and fancy transitions one after the other, each exciting on its own but barely adding to the whole.
Well, that's this movie in a nutshell. All extreme cinematography, avant-garde effects and hyper-real characters. Unfortunately it lacks any proper plot, characters or genuine engagement with the story. Too niche, too eclectic and far too esoteric for me.
Long Story Short (2021)
Funny and endearing
This is a very funny film in the Groundhog Day mould. The plot cleverly uses the time-hopping genre to examine a relationship in super-fast-forward mode, which somehow seemed believable.
It is very endearing, with plenty of touching moments popping up amidst the regular laughs.
Nicely acted and superbly directed, this film is definitely worth a couple of hours of your time. Highly recommended.
The Dry (2020)
Compelling
Most movies set in Australia, particularly in the outback, resort to caricature; the characters are two dimensional and the settings are replete with crocodiles, kangaroos and other assorted wildlife.
Thankfully, The Dry is different. It simply uses the Aussie outback as a canvas on which to paint a tale.
And it's a great story, well acted, beautifully directed, and well worth 2 hours of your time.
Highly recommended.
First Reformed (2017)
Boring, clunky and unlikely.
A slow and dull movie that tries to juxtapose orthodox religion with global warming. Includes an unlikely "cerebral affair" between the chronically ill parish reverend and the pregnant widow of a climate warrior parishioner who suicided. An unlikely plot that fails to inspire. Was hard to see it through to the end. If I were you I wouldn't even start.
The Lobster (2015)
Weird does not equal good
This movie was very weird, but not in a good way. I thought it was just nonsense that started with a poor premise and went down hill from there. I simply can't understand how this movie rates so highly.
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Ridiculous. But good ridiculous.
Ridiculous. But good ridiculous.
Mature form of juvenile humour.
I laughed at stuff I thought I hated.
Loved it.
Last Cab to Darwin (2015)
The best movie that you have never watched
This movie takes my vote for the most unheralded and underrated movie ever. It has so many wonderful facets to it that it is hard to do them all justice.
First, is a wonderful exploration of euthanasia, somehow managing to explore every aspect of this impossible subject without preaching, judging or (praise be due) virtue signalling.
Second, the setting is magnificent : the whole story unfolds on a backdrop of genuine outback Australia. The characters in the pubs, the landscapes and even the little details (the sound of the outback crickets at night) are all rendered with perfection.
Third, it is Beautifully written, with dialogue true to the Aussie outback vernacular, and utterly true to its mission.
This movie is also a warts-and-all exploration of aboriginal Australia that papers over nothing. It exposes the awful reality of many outback towns ( drunkenness, homelessness) yet somehow leaves you feeling optimistic at the same time. They somehow achieve this impossible task without you realising that you were just watching a movie.
If the characters in this movie seem a bit agricultural, or if the scenery appears a little contrived, then I have just one piece of advice for you: get out a bit more. This is a very true representation of outback, red-dirt Australia in all its glory.
I've watched thousands of movies in my time, and rated many hundreds of them . But this is the first time I have been compelled to write a written review. This movie deserves to be recognised as a wonderful and timeless addition to the chronicles of bare raw-boned Australian cinematography, while simultaneously tackling the impossible subject of euthanasia with insight and balance.
I rate it a masterpiece. Gee I hope you agree.