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pyrogenica
Reviews
Salt (2010)
If you liked Charlies Angels, this is the film for you, else...
I guess if the likes of "Charlies Angels" or "Tomb Raider" embody all you find wonderful in a movie, then you won't be disappointed.
I'm afraid that I am not so easily entertained: Angelina Jolie provided some pleasant eye candy, the plot wasn't exactly difficult to follow, and the action scenes were seriously over the top (not in a particularly good way). If I cite examples, I will spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it, but let's just say that they appear to have spent so much on their budget on fight scenes and Angelina's "bee-stung" lips that there couldn't have been enough left to pay for a couple of decent script writers.Skyfall it isn't, although it was wasn't offensively bland.
I've given this a 5 out of 10 for no better reason than I am mesmerised by Angelina Jolie (who isn't?), but I wouldn't want to have paid full price to watch this in a cinema (theatre to all you Hollywood types).
Last point, not relevant to the film, but congrats to IMDb allowing people to post up in real English at last
The Sweeney (2012)
Great casting but an uninspired plot
I am a little frustrated that so many of the reviews keep harping back to a storyline which is already well described, and not very sophisticated.
It is a film about some of the hard-line criminal elements in London, the politics of policing, the "gung ho" activities of the even harder line Flying Squad (cockney rhyming slang for which is "The Sweeney" from Sweeney Todd).
Having quite enjoyed the original TV series of the Sweeney, I was pleasantly surprised at the choice of replacement for the character originally molded for Reagan by the much missed John Thaw, Winstone was actually an excellent choice, as was the rest of the cast.
The politically correct style of this remake of a TV series was unrealistic and a little irritating, the Sweeney are not nice people, they do a horrible job dealing with the worst possible people, and are renowned to have become a little like the thugs they target in their work.
The whole experience was like watching a sanitized episode of the original 1970's Sweeney, and whilst it was moderately entertaining, it was unoriginal and much more could have been made of this opportunity to honor the original cast and concept
(By the way, IMDb, the enforced Americanised spell check is pretty offensive to the rest of the English speaking world)
Katy Perry: Part of Me (2012)
Indescribably Dull
I think the words "boring" don't do justice to this dull and self indulgent egotistical extravaganza.
It's difficult to find enough words in my vocabulary to describe the utter mediocrity of this vane auto biopic of Katy Perry's shallow little world. The patronizing little cameo of the poor "make a wish" child visiting was little short of vomit inducing, and the sycophantic way that Perry fawned over Russel Brand actually did leave me tasting vomit in my mouth
The two nieces who accompanied me (8 & 10) begged me to rent this, and they begged me to take them home within 30 minutes of the start. I didn't expect too much of MTV, their level is Beavis and Butthead, on a good day. This was clearly not a good day
Keith Lemon: The Film (2012)
Just Plain Awful
This film is juvenile and as an acute embarrassment to the British film industry as it is truly unrepresentative of British humour and sets back a well deserved reputation that Brit Comedy has worked hard to achieve.
It would be hard to include a spoiler, inasmuch as the film is way beyond spoiling without any help from me, it is infantile, crassly unfunny and to give it "1" our of "10" is giving it far more than it is worth. Leigh Francis, to give Lemon his real name, is worthless and an acute embarrassment to the entertainment industry.
It is hard to find anyone sufficiently mediocre in the US with whom to compare this person, perhaps Chevvy Chase is the nearest. My apologies to anyone who saw this.