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calvinc1203
Reviews
The Wheel of Time (2021)
It isn't actually that bad (if you hadn't read the books).
I only give it 1 star to balance the hired robots & simpletons that gave it 9 & 10.
I'm not a book reader, but I can still tell when an adaptation is good (His Dark Materials & The Boys for example), but this is just okay (I gave it a 6 originally). My initial complains were mostly about the special effects--Honestly, it looks cheap and not "magical" enough, as some video games have produced better weaving threads & wind effects--and the costumes being too "new" (color & texture) i.e. Not believable.
As the story progresses, I noticed more and more American Horror Story style of "nip the plots in the bud with something quick & convenient" technique, and certain things seem to serve only a small purpose or nothing at all, as if these devices were written by a student to meet the minimum requirements for a project, which resulted in few good moments and many anti-climatic ends, not to mention the odd focus on teen drama (which is apparently not from the book).
I was shocked to find out the first season covers the first 3 books; I even blamed the books for the lack of story. "See? This is why I don't read! All these superfluous words and details amounts to so little!" I was even wondering why these books garnered so many fans, and how did the writer have such a long & successful career. Boy was I wrong! After reading a good chunk of the popular reviews, I was left disgruntled. How dare they butcher the characters & plots, and douse in capitalistic gains, over the dead body of Robert Jordan?? If it has too much to cover in 8 episodes, how about cut a book out? It's the simplest math as math can be! 14 books in 8 seasons? 2 books per season with one extra to spare!!
I feel like this would've been a much better show had it been produced by the people in the U. K. as (time and time again) Hollywood has shown to disrespect literary integrity, urging fans to wait for a BBC remake.
There Is No I in Threesome (2021)
Excuse me?
1. If the subject matter is so "gross" then you shouldn't have watched it.
2. The couple was "exploring" and didn't know what they were doing, so how were you expecting an "informative & truthful representation of polyamory"??
3. How is this reenactment "fiction" when they show you that most of the "scripts" are word-for-word from the original footage? Zoe and Tom obviously didn't want him to use the real footage and the director did his best to be truthful. The emotional journey & betrayal you felt (because this isn't a "true documentary" even though crime & historical documentaries rarely show any "real" footage...) attest to the level of acting involved. Everything looks like a WIN to me! Great job :)
Don't F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer (2019)
Still more to the story
I liked the build up, suspense, and the stylishly intertwined information from all sources, but this could've been done in a 2-hour/part special instead of 3-There are lot of unnecessary stretching, "reactions," and time milking (like most Youtube videos nowadays).
I had actually seen 1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick and followed up on the story before this documentary; it left out a lot of gruesome details and didn't give a proper wrap to leftover bits and pieces (literally), but still offered insights I didn't know about.
Here are some additional information I found on the web:
1. He was born Eric Clinton Kirk Newman in 1982, and legally changed his name in 2006.
2. He had 2 siblings and was homeschooled until 6th grade
3. His mother divorced, remarried, and had 2 more kids before sending him to his maternal grandma.
4. His mom now has a memoir...PLEASE DON'T SUPPORT HER-I'm sure she helped making this monster!
5. He inherited bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia from his father and was treated with Valium & anti-psychotics, and has a history of missing medication & hospitalizations.
6. He was briefly a Scientologist (lol)
7. He coerced a 21-year-old woman to purchase ~$17K of goods and obtained a credit card in her name.
8. He had plastic surgery to look more like James Dean late into his "career."
9. He'll be eligible for parole in 2038 (WTF)!
10. He somehow had access to a "matchmaking website for prisoners" and married Anthony Jolin, while enjoying movie nights, team sports, and language classes at Quebec's Archambault Institution (WTFFF!!??)
11. BestGore owner Mark Marek plead guilty to "corrupting public morals" and served a 6-month conditional sentence (half of which is house arrest).
Lastly, Justin was Lin Jun's chosen English name; his head was discovered in a lake in a Montreal park, and his right hand & foot were mailed to 2 elementary schools in Vancouver...All were cremated & buried at Notre Dame des Neiges Cemetery in Montreal (Please go visit and pay respect to him if you have a chance).
He was rumored to be Luka's boyfriend and the video was the result of a lovers' quarrel, which is completely false.
**WARNING: Following outlines the horrific acts of the video**
I recall a faint memory of Justin's head being cut off from the throat, but don't remember Luka playing with it in the bathtub. The video also shows the arms & legs being cut off; afterwards, he mounts the torso laying stomach to bed (necrophilia), and letting the dog chew on Justin's hand or foot (?) before killing the dog. Police even claimed that cannibalism was involved in an extended version of the video that they reviewed...
It is one of the most horrifying video I've ever seen in my life, and I had a terrifying nightmare in which I woke up screaming.
I'm extremely appalled by the way the Canadian justice system treated this case; he should've been in solitary confinement until death instead of living in comfort! Someone please petition him to get worse treatment!!
Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)
READ THE MOVIE TITLE!!
I haven't written a review in awhile, but felt compelled to do so because numerous reviews complaining about the movie as some sort of failed Fred Hampton biopic...
The movie is titled JUDAS and the Black Messiah, in which we should all be able to discern who's whom, and understand why the movie isn't just about Fred Hampton, so all of you with your fake woke-ness can stop talking about how shallow this movie is or how they didn't do enough, and then counterintuitively discredit this accomplishment of a film about an important part of the U.S. history!
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019)
I could not roll my eyes back any further
So basically, Michelle Pfeiffer gets to do whatever she wants (including biological warfare/genocide) with no consequence, and we should all be unreasonably forgiving.
I just don't understand how her character's able to F everyone over and over again! Aurora does nothing but cries and pretends to be useful, the prince is...just a prince, and maleficent barely manages to save the day at the cost of (a whole lot of) magical creatures' lives because she arrives late, gets killed for basically no reason, reborn (yes, you read right), seemingly re-saves the day yet unable to undo any death, turns the castle "flowery" and everybody rejoice! Hug your enemies (never mind that the blue fairy is now just a pot of flower and half of the near-extinct dark feys are gone)!
I literally cringed the entire 2/3 of the movie because of how oblivious everyone is; it's like nobody gives a damn about what just happened. Probably hundreds of innocents were killed, but the perpetrator is now a goat, ha ha! Most of the so-called "plot" is laughable like that unfunny goat, with tropes, played out conveniences, and forced romances:
1. The whole "We dark feys have been hiding here (less than an hour away)" is like a less convincing rerun of How to Train Your Dragon.
2. Maleficent realizes her "Phoenix force" after a Black man sacrifices himself, resulting in her flirting with the reckless White boy who is still alive.
3. One of the human soldiers (who did the most killings) checks out the rainforest-fey lady (10 minutes after her partner got killed)...She likes it and reciprocates.
This movie leaves a really bad taste in my mouth; the ending is so forced and everybody is so blatantly happy despite the tragedy-makes me wanna puke all over Disney.
Mother! (2017)
Think about what you saw, not the references.
I personally am not familiar with most of the religious references some people claim but can hardly explain. I had to read a handful of long reviews to understand the parallels; yes I now see that this is heavily influenced by the subject, but no, that's not the whole point and I think most people are judging from the wrong perspective. This is more, yet so much less (which is not always a problem).
I personally loved the chaotic 2nd half when everything "picked up and went to sh*t"; it's like riding a roller coaster in the dark-you know something's coming and it sure did! May not be what you anticipated or the right timing, but after going through hell and back, you can proudly say "THAT was SOMETHING"!
I see it as an exaggerated tale that intertwines magic with reality about an abusive relationship-a fairy tale if you will.
I picked up right away that the couple WANTS DIFFERENT THINGS, which is one of the most common problems in a relationship that some will compromise (Mother) and some will ignore (Him) until it's too late. He envisioned a different life; he wants fame and life under the spot light with her as merely a tool he couldn't navigate without, while all she wants is a simple life with him. You can put this story under any age and context, with or without the craziness, and still makes sense.
The second thing I picked up is that he seems to be able to manifest his desires through the house; it's as if they're in some sort of metaphorical battle to see who will rule the house which represents the life they (supposedly) want together, with the girl constantly losing control by being a pushover (sad, but true in an old "silenced wife" sort of way). He wants to live passionately-drama, excitement, inspirations, the struggles and everything that comes after fame, eventually losing himself and the control over his fans-while she wants none of that, which forces her heart to shut everytime she pays close attention to the house (the life they built together) as he abuses her.
At the end when she can't take it anymore, her only option is to end her life and all the chaos (killing her husband as a revenge is just a bonus). He, who thought he can have it all, ends up with nothing and finally questions his self worth, but with her dying glimpse of love, he reassures himself and restarts the losing game.
Honestly I was hoping the story took a different direction, in which she's a schizophrenic who's fallen onto the verge of insanity (hence the meds) from a seemingly normal, yet deeply wounding relationship, in which nothing past the sex is real (Who wakes up certain about pregnancy?) but she kills herself at the end anyway, ending both dead. Or they can use that in conjunction with the magic crystal & god-like analogy of a man who may carry some guilt for the death of his ex-wife, yet still go about his life repeating the same mistake hurting others along the way...
The Emoji Movie (2017)
Calm down haters...
Other than being an advertising tool and predictable & mediocre story, there's no reason to trash it. Like the main character aspired to be, this is just "meh," which in no way is the worst movie of any genre or era. Film "critics" are so anti-conventional and anti- pop culture that they're hating for hating's sake, and then you get those pretentious middle-aged people and "meta" youngsters to follow them.
Simply put, it's a cliché coming-of-age story about a boy who doesn't fit in and cannot meet the societal expectations. Being a failure & outcast, he manages to befriend a person who accepts him and helps him find a possible solution. Eventually he meets a girl who's also not a social norm and helps him embrace who he is.
This movie is not hard to understand, not repulsive or atrocious, and not an abomination; on top of that it has somewhat imaginative visual aspects. There are many worse movies out there (Woody Woodpecker being the most recent one I watched), which may have ACTUAL nonsensical story, worse dialog, really REALLY bad acting, or poke-my-eyes-out special effects. This is not worth the 1 star rating or the 10/100, so quit your whining -_-