Change Your Image
mrezyka
Reviews
After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
Rule Number One
If in the 90's you're adapting a book written in the 50's, set the bloody thing in the 50's and not the '90's. See, 40 year old mores and values tend not to play as well, or ring as true, that far down the road. It's a simple rule that Hollywood habitually keeps violating. And that's the problem with this film. It should have been set in the era it was written in. You'd think that would be a no-brainer, but nooo. I'd elaborate, but bmacv's comment spells it out quite well. I'll limit my commentary to Rachel Ward. She looks like she dieted her ass completely out of existence for this role. As a result, she looks like a crack ho' on chemotherapy, and is about as sexy as a gay leather couch in drag. I found her "I could die at any moment" look quite disconcerting, and it greatly detracted from her supposed "hotness" and the "sexual tension" the film intended to create. Other than that, the film was quite good; a 7+ out of 10.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Brilliant Slice of Americana
All you X'ers out there who think this movie speaks only to you; get over yourselves. I grew up in the 60's yet I still managed to "get" this film. A good movie is a good movie, and this one surely qualifies. It is a uniquely American celebration of humanity, and very funny to boot.
Sure the acting is flatter than a pancake, but that only adds to the surreal and absurd quality of the film. This style almost never works, but it certainly does here.
Bottom line: If you think that "Armageddon", or "Men In Black" were good movies; you'd better skip this one, otherwise; you'll probably enjoy it.
BTW: If you do enjoy this film, be sure to see "Welcome To The Dollhouse", a similarly brilliant American comedy.
Last Night (1998)
Science Fact or Fiction?
As a few people seem to be interested in the science fact or fiction of this movie; I offer the following.
Planets rotate because of something called the conservation of angular momentum. The moon rotates too, but at just the right speed so that it always keeps one face pointed toward the Earth. It's not a coincidence. Almost all moons in the Solar System keep one face pointed toward their planet, because of a process called tidal friction. Could Earth suddenly slow it's spin so that one side is always aimed at the sun and survive? No. Not so long as the Moon is there. If you could somehow get rid of the Moon and wait long enough (a few hundred thousand years), Earth would eventually always face the sun. All other scenarios would destroy the earth instantly.
Our Sun will not go supernova in a huge explosion, it's not massive enough. Instead, when it's fuel is exhausted it will grow into a Red Giant then to Planetary Nebula to White Dwarf to Black Dwarf. And we'll have a lot more warning than a few months! In fact we know right now when it's going to happen; In 5 billion years! Then the earth will begin to warm as the Sun begins to grow. Over a period of thousands of years the Earth will be swallowed up and destroyed by the Red Giant Sun.
So we have to conclude that the scenario presented in this movie has absolutely no basis in science fact. But beware; it's still a pretty good movie. I knew all of this going in, but I still managed to enjoy it.
Steal This Movie (2000)
A Bitter Pill For The Left
This film plays like a demented episode of VH1's "Where Are They Now", or "Behind The Music". In the first half of the movie (that depict his "glory days") Abbie Hoffman is unintentionally portrayed as a sort of delusional rock star. You know the kind; the poseur lead singer, the pretty boy, who didn't write any of the music, doesn't have a clue, but gets all the glory for nothing and chicks for free. Consequently he takes his success for granted, abuses it, and ultimately destroys it along with himself. Indeed Hoffman's glory days ended abruptly when he was busted for dealing cocaine, skipped bail, and went into hiding.
The second part of the movie deals with that time in hiding. In it we see Hoffman as a pathetic crybaby endlessly blaming everyone, anyone, but himself for his downfall. Eventually the times pass him by completely; and he can never to come to grips with that. How sad. THE END. End credits roll and OH NO! We learn that Abbie Hoffman eventually committed suicide in 1989.
I'm sure this is not the image the filmmakers intended for Hoffman in making this movie. Given that Tom Hayden and Gerald Lefcourt were involved, I'm sure they intended this film as some kind of homage to the life of a man who was after all, an icon of the 60's and of the Left's anti-war movement. In this they have failed miserably. The film presents Abbie Hoffman as a mindless caricature. We are never told about what drives him. How did he arrive at his views? How did he manage to capture the imagination of a whole generation? How did he organize such a vast movement? Why at the height of his fame did he get involved in dealing cocaine? Why? Who knows, and since the filmmakers don't seem to, ultimately who cares?
50 First Dates (2004)
It Does Not Suck!
I watched this movie thinking: "OK, when is Drew going to regain her memory? 3/4 of the way in? Almost at the end? During the end credits?" Imagine my shock when she never did! Then I thought: "Fooled by a Hollywood movie? Not likely!" But I was. Amazing!
Incredibly, this juvenile and dumb romance caught me off guard. It actually worked! I don't know what to say. I don't think I'm brave enough to recommend it to any of my friends, as that could shatter my normally cold and intellectually cynical image. But as I do not know you people personally, I feel free to recommend it here. It's actually pretty good.
Malcolm X (1992)
Malcolm X: Almost The Truth
"The nation was founded in the late '20s by traveling salesman Wallace D. Fard, whose preachings combined Islam with an Afrocentric cosmology. He taught that blacks are descended from Shabbaz, a tribe that came from the moon 66 trillion years ago, and that whites were the laboratory concoction of Yakub, an evil scientist."
FROM: http://slate.msn.com/id/1075
9/10ths of the way into this movie, I was thinking "I can't believe it. Spike Lee actually has the balls to tell this story truthfully" and expose the Nation of Islam for what it really is: a lying, racists, hate cabal, that murdered Malcolm X.
But just short of the end, he (Spike) just had to throw it in; The Nation Of Islam could not have murdered Malcolm X without help from "The Man". In this case, as usual; the CIA. Forget that there are no actual facts behind this claim, it just NEEDED to be thrown in.
I'm tired of Hollywood re-inventing history. You think the Nation of Islam is just another religious sect? You think Louis Farrakhan is just another " religious" leader? You need to consider that this antiSemite claims that white people were created in a laboratory in Mecca around the year 1000, and are all decedents of the devil. Look it up, I'm not kidding.
http://slate.msn.com/id/1075
Why is none of this mentioned in the movie, I wonder?
Crimson Tide (1995)
Is this still payback for McCarthyism?
What a load of Leftist Hollywood bilge. This movie glorifies mutiny as brave and noble if it be for pacifist principles. The fairytale ends with the pacifist character, played by Danzel Washington, actually getting promoted for his treason. What is it with these Hollywood tools? Is this still payback for McCarthyism?
If I sound cynical it's because I am fed up with movies hawking a political agenda. The military brass in this movie are portrayed as, what else? Gung-ho war mongers. Sound familiar? Ever see a movie where the CIA or any government agency is not evil? Think about it. Yet again, Crimson Tide stresses the point. The Hackman character, U-boat captain Ramsey, comes across like a raving lunatic, until the very end when, of course he comes to his senses, does a complete 360, renounces his blood lust, suggests a promotion for the treasonous Ron Hunter, and repents by retiring from the service. A guy mutinies, takes command of your boat, puts the U.S at grave risk of receiving a nuclear first-strike, and you promote him???? What hogwash!
Murder in the First (1995)
More Hollywood Lies
"This Film is Inspired by a True Story" reads the opening card. I watched this film an was actually deeply affected by it, believing it was based in fact. Moved profoundly, I was left to ponder; man's inhumanity to man, the corruption of our penal system, the injustice of it all, how could this happen in America? etc. etc. I came here to post a glowing recommendation.
Imagine my shock when I read the review here, titled; "Based On Facts ??????", and then did a little research to confirm that this story is indeed, total fiction!!! "True Story", my ass!
Oh my God, manipulated by these Hollywood bastards again? Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, and now this. These elitists liars are just selling us Leftist propaganda, people. You really have to be full of hate to make up a story that makes your country look bad, and then peddle it as the truth to convince the masses that America is truly evil at the core. Why do they do it? How sad.
Practical Magic (1998)
Complete Garbage
If you hate men you'll like this movie. "Movie" is actually a complement to this heap of dung. The writers of this "pile" (Robin Swicord and Ariva Goldman) must have been those girls in high-school that never got asked out on a date, and as a result now, as bitter adults, they get to spew feminist venom all over the the silver screen. That's all this "film" is. A complete mess at that.
It's billed as a Comedy- Drama but there is not a single funny thing in it, unless you think that killing an abusive man is funny. And of course; all men are either rapists or wusses, don't you know?
A waste of time.
Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995)
A totally unexpected delight
Loved this film. Amazing that a MAN wrote and directed. Talk about being in touch with your feminine side! Acting was superb. Music; right on the money. Cinematography; perfectly dull... and therefore REAL. I felt like I was there, suspended in time, watching it all. A celebration of humanity the likes of which I haven't seen since Fellini. Todd Solondz is a fresh new talent. Talent with a capital "T". It'll be interesting to see where he goes from here. Only negative comment; I wish it had an ending. As it is, it just fades away. Tod; You could have dug just a little BIT DEEPER and you know it ! But you can't have it all, I guess.