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Reviews
Elektra (2005)
A Rip Roaring Romp into this author's declining faith in American action movies.
Spoilers and types therein.
It is difficult to make a movie that's based on a relatively uninteresting comic book character. Elektra stood her ground while in the shadow of Daredevil (both the movie and the comic) but once she steps out of the shadow and into the light, not much can be said of her.
She is a woman. A ninja. And she's good assassin.
There is one way that the comic and the movie differ, however.
The comic can be called by some as "good." Even if you disagree with them, when reading this comic if someone says that they enjoy the comic a logical response would be to believe them. With that in mind, if someone you know (whom you know is not a compulsive liar) says that they enjoyed any aspect of this movie, assume that they are either lying or that they haven't seen it yet.
Not only does this movie ruin two hours of your time it will, along with Catwoman, ruin any chance for a decent female orientated comic book adapted movie to take place. Instead of taking any sort of risks, the writers gave Elektra the most cookie-cutter woman cliché motivations in recent memory. When Elektra is depressed, her liason suggests that she should just get laid. When performing an assassination, she instantly falls in love with a fatherly figure and acts as a mother to a precocius teen who needs a sort of mother figure to help hone her ninja abilities. Not to mention, as always with a troubled woman, Elektra has issues with her father.
Whereas in the comic not only since it is in serial form that you have already invested X amount of time into the character, the movie only has about fifteen or so minutes of exposition before something should happen. The movie tries to pack as much information as possible into the exposition of the movie so there are no doubts in our mind why she is an assassin. Not only is their reasoning stupid, do we really care what her reasoning is, why she is so good as what she does, or why she can't see so far into the future? The only thing the movie has going for it are the interesting antagonists (the non-Asian ones) who are killed off in either stupid and, at best, uninspired ways. But even if the fight scenes were interesting Terrence Stamp (whose character name I really don't remember or care about) or Elektra can just bring anyone they want to back to life.
Who to suggest this movie to: 1. Sexually repressed people who liked Jennifer Garner in Catch Me If You Can a little too much. 2. Jennifer Garner's supportive family.
It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman! (1975)
To say this movie was a waste of time would not do this movie justice.
Given the fact that I grew up reading comics after the sort of "re-defining" of most super heroes from the 80's and 90's my view on this movie is naturally going to be bias. Whereas Superman is basically portrayed in this movie as a simple idea rather than a sort of literary legacy that has been going on since the 1930's.
Of course as an objective movie critic I have to ignore this. I simply do not know the cultural context of which this made-for-TV movie was made (even though it was adapted from a play from 1966 which might suggest that this movie might not have been relevant even when it was made) as I wasn't born yet. The only thing I can do in this regard is hope that people were as stunned (not in a good way) when I saw that this movie even existed.
However, to an extent this is like saying that I can't judge Birth of a Nation or old racist Warner Brothers cartoons because I was not around when these cartoons were first aired. When I watch those cartoons (and to a lesser extent this movie) I can't help BUT apply my world view and contemporary philosophical and aesthetic beliefs to what I'm watching. In fact, as a critic, I think ethically bound to do this since I cannot do otherwise.
If I am going to read a book that was written a long time before I was born I am just going to read the book. If I read Dracula, for example, I am not going to extra research to find out what Bram Stoker was going for and how it may or may not have been an allegory for something or whatever the author's intent was. If he wanted to suggest something that pointed to an allegory he should have put it explicitly in the book.
But I digress. Given the previous arguments I can't help but say that this was one of the worst things I've seen before in my life. Not only is David Wilson the worst Superman I've seen before in my life, the songs fail to inspire, the choreography for the dances seemed rushed, the lyrics were atrocious (eg "Why must the strongest man in the world be the saddest man? Tell me why!"), it is also blatantly sexist.
To say I hate this movie is an understatement. It is one of those things you watch and not only do you feel disgusted afterwards, not only can you not ethically justify watching it, you start to reflect on how many starving people could have been saved with the money used to make this movie (regardless of the cost of the horrible set design, costumes, lighting, and etc. I'm sure it could have fed at least someone in the world).
Whether or not I would suggest this movie is an entirely different thing, though. I would suggest this movie to the following people
1. People with an unhealthy optimism regarding the human race.
2. Aspiring film makers who feel daunted every time they see a Citizen Kane or a Seven Samurai. If this movie was somehow made then surely you can make something as well.
3. David Wilson, looking for some sort of reaffirmation to end his life.
4. Whoever enjoyed the movie Elektra and/or Silent Night Deadly Night Five.
Open Water (2003)
Anxious and for the patient.
Why do people (like some of the previous reviewers) say that a movie is good "for an indie flick?" As if independent movies are somehow sub par and not worthy of the same criticism of some A list movies.
While the advertisements say this movie is about terror, it's more about anxiety. The premise: a couple stranded in the middle of the ocean after a botched headcount on a boat that they were on. While at first the dangers they face are, indeed, quite terrifying, it slowly turns into complete anxiety as their situation becomes more and more hopeless and they become more accepting of what's happening to them. This is excellently supplemented by the wide camera shots of the couple stranded in the ocean, alone, the strong performances by the the couple (who are married in real life), and the audio track which is dominated by both the swashing sound of the ocean waves and (early on in the movie) a score eerily reminiscent of Jaws.
Some might be turned off by the long agonizing shots of the couple stranded in the water simply not talking or arguing over nothing, but I feel that most who have the patience will realize at the emotionally draining ending it was worth it (not to suggest this is a boring movie).