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Reviews
Kinds of Kindness (2024)
Ummm, WTF?! Love art house. Hated this!
I really love 'odd' movies, art house, something different. This however, was something in a separate category. I'm trying to think of something which isn't a basic swear word (eg s&&t) to describe what I think about this movie.
I'm no dummy. But this was pure tripe (at least for me). Seriously, don't waste your time. I've loved previous attempts by this crew. This was a bridge too far. Spooky music and confronting / disgusting scenes doesn't indemnify this tripe.
It has no point. No arc. No relief from its relentless self indulgent bollocks. The characters are almost irrelevant & create no empathy for them. I feel sorry for the investors, let alone the other viewers who suffered through this as I did.
Longlegs (2024)
Don't believe the hype!
So much hype about this movie, and very good professional critic reviews and scores. Lord knows why?! The first half was shaping up, but the second half kept going downhill and finished with a whimper.
Without giving away the plot, suffice to say that it felt like the equivalent of a 10 year old kids creative story which ends with "and he woke up and it was all a dream". Such a pity, as it could have been so much more. However, the whole premise was garbage. The pacing of it was constant, and not in a good way. It could have used a little light relief, but it took itself way too seriously.
I only gave it a five out of ten for what it could have been. It may be worth watching for 'free' as part of a streaming subscription, but save your money for something else in the cinema.
Brats (2024)
Get over it!
It was fun reminiscing about these movies and their actors. The 1980s were my teen years, so these movies really resonated with me. These movies broke new ground by focussing on teens/20 somethings and their relationships and insecurities.
It is weird to think that the article which came up with the term "brat pack" was so traumatising to Andrew McCarthy. I read this article before watching the movie, as I hadn't read it previously (but was familiar with the term 'brat pack'). The article was about a night out with Emilio Estevez, and to some degree Rob Lowe and others. It mentioned McCarthy only once and in passing. It gave insight to a night out with some young stars and the attention lavished on them. Surprise, surprise: they were bratty, entitled & loving it.
McCarthy gave it so much credence, that didn't exist. It was more about his own insecurities reflecting back on him. Most of the others used it as a badge of honour, or a chance to try and prove the author of the article wrong. McCarthy seems like he would have melted down with or without the article. It was fascinating to see a 60 year old man realise the article was neither here nor there. It was also nice to see people he worked with 35+ years ago humour him and help him overcome his demons.
Not a great documentary, but a bit of fun reminiscing about these movies, their actors, and my own memories of these times.
Road House (1989)
A stereotypical cartoonish goodies v baddies
Don't watch this if you're expecting pathos, great acting, suspenseful plot twists, or excellent acting. However, if you're after a bit of gratuitous violence with cartoonish goodies versus baddies, you're in the right place.
It is an Alpha Male joy ride with some great blues-rock music thrown in for extra measure, along with scantily clad blonde bimbos. Yes, it's a good old fashioned white trash 1980s movie, without a hint of any depth of character portrayals.
So sit back, grab a beer or two, and some shot glasses for your whisky, to enjoy a simple movie with lots of violence where the baddies get their asses handed to them, again and again. Yeee-haaaw!
American Psycho (2000)
Neither here nor there ...
This movie was neither here nor there. Not scary. Not philosophical. Not funny. Just a pile of scenes that ambled from one sick scene to another
Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with movies about sickos. Bad Boy Bubby. Silence of the Lambs (& its sequels). The God Father movies. Good Fellas. The Sopranos. Breaking Bad. The Irishman. Nurse Jacquie. Dexter etc
They have some pathos, some point. This was semi farcical, with a smattering of would-be horror.
Perhaps it is due to its age, although I was 30 when this came out, so i understand the genre. It just didn't do anything for me, despite me really liking the body of Christian Bales work.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
Grim & an hour too long
This is a very good movie, but it could have been told in an hour less. The material is grim, but I guess that's part of the story telling.
I can't understand why this couldn't have been done in 2 hours. The plot didn't warrant it, and the acting almost held it up. But we could all see where this was going.
The court sequence was way too long and muddled the nature of the story. Is it an historical account of what happened to these poor people? Is it a story about duplicity in a relationship? Is it about greed and human nature? Is it about psychopaths? Or a court room drama?
For me, it would have been an 8/10 if it didn't drag on unnecessarily. Great acting. Great story. Just drawn out.
Married to the Mob (1988)
Hasn't aged well
This might have been good in it's day, but with the hindsight of so many good mob movies, the parody just isn't funny. Perhaps it never was. It has a solid cast, but the gawdy/ trashy mob wives thing has been done to death. The jokes don't work, and the would-be tension is spoiled by the jokes. It fails as both drama and comedy. I'd give it a miss, and watch either a mob movie or a comedy.
This might have been good in it's day, but with the hindsight of so many good mob movies, the parody just isn't funny. Perhaps it never was. It has a solid cast, but the gawdy/ trashy mob wives thing has been done to death. The jokes don't work, and the would-be tension is spoiled by the jokes. It fails as both drama and comedy. I'd give it a miss, and watch either a mob movie or a comedy.
Ran (1985)
Acting on par w Monkey Magic
Yes: huge cast & budget. Yes: beautifully shot & superb costumes. Story: tragedy in the realms of Shakespeare. However, the acting is so over the top, it is bordering on the comedic. The script, when paired w this acting combines to make it ridiculous. Ok, it's almost 40 years old, but so is Blade Runner, and the likes of The Godfather even older. Epic scale, beautifully done. But with acting akin to Monkey Magic (which works, as it was supposed to be comedic), it fails badly. Of note, Monkey was made around the same time, so perhaps they had some of the same actors and script writers ;) That is all.
The Jesus Rolls (2019)
Ambling on a road to no where
Such a pity that this was an ambling journey to no where. Great cast. Some interesting characters. It just didn't seem to have a purpose to drive the story along. Perhaps that was the point, but it doesn't make for great viewing.
It had moments of titillation, but they didn't serve any real purpose except to display some T&A. There was comedic potential, but it didn't have a payoff. The Kama of the finale, was a bit lazy and obvious, and not funny. The actual ending was as if they couldn't think how to put it out if it's misery.
Not a stinker, just a bit meh. If you're really bored, see what you think. If you're short in time, give it a miss. It's not worth the time.
Kanji Ishiwara: The Man Who Triggered the War (2012)
Interesting facts, but poor production
This is a French documentary regarding Kanji Ishiwara, a Japanese military strategist & general. He trained in Germany and became a believer in Total War as adopted by Hitler in the 1930s. His believe was that the Asian countries would fight for dominance under Japan, and then take on the Western powers for world dominance, as part of a branch of Nichiren Buddhism. He masterminded a plot to make it appear China had attacked Japanese troops in Manchuria, which became their pretence for attacking the Chinese. The documentary makers paint this as the beginning of WW2 in 1931
The documentary itself has many interesting facts which I didn't know about. I've subsequently clarified most of them via Wikipedia (for what that's worth). It contains lots of historical footage, which due to its age is of poor quality, and interviews with various Japanese historians. There is also a narration throughout. The version I saw on Prime had English dubbings. Interesting, but not great viewing.
Forever Young (1992)
What a shambles!
This movie didn't know what it wanted to be: sci-fi, romantic, comedy, drama. I thought I'd give it a go due to some good actors, w JJ Abrams writing. Oh, dear. Don't make the same mistake I did.
It didn't really go anywhere: the story of the test pilot was short lived; the story of the mad scientist doing experiments was but a plot line blip; the goofy kids adventure never got off the ground; the romance between Jamie LC & Mel G fizzled; the big circuitous romance was with one person we never got to know (so who cares?!).
I don't think this is a case of it not aging well. I'm sure I would have hated it when I was twenty something back in 1990s as well.
Pixie (2020)
Lacking good writers
The core problem with this was the lack of good writers.
Yes, the plot is somewhat ludicrous, requiring a mind numbing suspension of belief. I could live with that if the writing, acting and production was better. Alas, they're not.
And yes, I'm aware it was probably a low budget film. However, I'd like to think that doesn't prevent a good script. The story would have been a lot better, and helped carry the talent, if the dialogue was clever and snappier.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda . . .
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Death in Paradise (2011)
Simplistic, pretty dumb and outdated
Now, I'll preface this review by saying I'm a middle aged white guy of Anglo heritage. This series seems like something from the 1970s, or earlier.
Perhaps that explains all the high ratings (60-70 y/o Brexiters, longing for a past that doesn't exist). When white Britts ruled the world, and helped all the poor old 'natives' figure out their problems. Clearly they're not evolved enough to be able to do it for themselves. I'm not one who is easily offended, but this show is hard to believe. It really must have caught in the throat of the local Caribbean actors!
That aside, the stories are ludicrous. 4-6 red herrings in every episode; flash backs; wooden acting; who-dunnit final acts which tell all the suspects what happened.
I'm happy to suspend belief. I'm happy to regress and enjoy an Agatha Christy from 40-50 years ago. I struggle with why we'd need to make this crud in the 2020s.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
Shock value gone wrong
I'm a child of the 70/80s and a fan of Blue Velvet (for what it's worth). This is the first time I've watched this, despite all the hype over the years. This would have been quite shocking at the time, and perhaps, somewhat poignant,about the direction of news/info/entertainment at the time. We get the point. That aside, it's somewhat hypocritical to flaunt gratuitous violence to get the point across. This movie hasn't aged well, and I won't be watching it again.
Oh, and here are some extra characters to get us to the point of having enough in order to pass the minimum quota to submit a review.
Misconduct (2016)
Hopkins & Pacino stinker
Hard to believe Hopkins and Pacino lent their names to this stinker. One can only hope their pay cheque provided enough dough to drown their sorrows.
Hopkins is only just in it. Pacino should have followed his lead.
The plot is ridiculous. The writing, well below par. Characters we don't care about do a bunch of stupid and far fetched stuff that is hard to believe.
It is hard to fathom this is not a spoof, with the melodramatic music and scenes. My, oh my. What a stinking pile of dung.
Hang your heads in shame, Mssrs Hopkins and Pacino. You gave credibility to something that should have been flushed down the pipes with a bunch of other turds. Boo, hiss!
Cry Macho (2021)
Eastwood: fine. Kid: wooden. Result: yawning
Clint was good in this, but the story never delivered. The kid was very wooden, which wasn't helped by the story. I kept expecting the kids role to go somewhere: betrayal; acting out; something! But it just kept the original course, and wasn't helped by the ineptitude of the acting. Solid 5/10. Disappointing.
What Just Happened (2008)
Proctologists delight
Hollywood using two hand mirrors to examine what's most important to them: themselves. Seriously, not that interesting to the hoi polloi. I'm happy to learn about the industry, just not when it is this self indulgent. Save your time, and if you need to, get your own proctologists kit.
Hustle (2022)
I don't like basketball, but ...
... this was pretty good. It connected w me on the relationship level. Particularly the lead and his daughter. If you are into the NBA, there are plenty of guest stars and references which you'll love. Solid movie, albeit not my thing.
Boogie Nights (1997)
Not for me
I'm no prude, but I just didn't find this all that amusing, insightful or funny.
Yes: it has good cast; funny moments in the first half; solid production; and captures the zeitgeist of 70/80s.
However, the downward spiral in the second half was at stark contrast to the humour in the first. I realise this was intentional, but I sense it was also supposed to emote some kind of schadenfreude. I like dark humour, but this wasn't remotely funny, just sad.
The attempt at a happy ending (no pun intended) was a cop-out, if they were trying to make a serious statement with the bleak second half.
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
Much better than expected
I was a little dubious after reading some of the professional reviews. More so, after reading the over the top 10/10 AI/Bot reviews (seriously IMDb, get onto this, as it is wrecking your credibility). At any rate, I saw this w my 9 y/o daughter yesterday, and we both loved it.
I found the Minions to be funnier than ever w their Spanish/French/Italian gibberish, and slapstick antics. The subtle references to the 1970s were non-stop, and as a child of that era, I found them a constant source of nostalgia and mirth. You know the type of thing you're in for w this, and it delivers in spades, despite being number 5 in the franchise, they've kept it energetic and fun.
Crackers (1998)
It's not cultural (just unfunny)
As an Australian, I didn't find this funny. I saw some reviews of non-Aussies wondering if they didn't find it funny due to cultural differences. I can assure you, it's just not funny. Or to put it another way, in keeping with the comedic style of this little gem: it's as funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
The Righteous Gemstones (2019)
Not funny
While I'm happy for comedians to make fun of mega churches fleecing the gullible, it would be useful if they're actually funny. The characters aren't developed enough so you care one way or the other about them. I can't imagine who is scoring this 10 / 10 ... perhaps those who woke up to being fleeced??
Foxcatcher (2014)
Elements to like and not like
This is a tricky movie to rate. The story is pretty bleak, and it grinds its way to a conclusion (based on the truth). A story of entitled wealth, where the generations that come after the wealth creators, have lost touch with reality. Using others to glorify themselves. I thought it was quite well made, and the acting very good. That said, it's an unrelenting and sorry tale. You don't exactly start whistling "Happy days are here again" after the ending, and that's ok.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
The tongue pokes right through the cheek
To say this is a tongue in cheek comic book movie, is an understatement. Yes: it's ridiculous; far fetched beyond imagination; and pokes fun at the genre. But also: it's funny; action packed; and bizarre in an entertaining way
If you like comic movies that are action packed, and prepared to suspend believe, then this is for you. If you prefer serious comic book movies (pun intended), then perhaps not. The clue might be in the word "comic"
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Treat it like a choose your own adventure
For those familiar with choose your own adventure books, treat this movie like one. The point isn't to come to a particular ending, but see what happens when you make yes / no (binary) choices along the path. The story will resolve itself in many ways, based on those choices. That's on a simplistic level.
As one who also likes theoretical physics, there is another level to this movie. That is, space-time is a continuum, where some believe that time is simply a construct like length, width and height. That is, just a forth dimension. Further, that the past remains where it is, and that choices only create divergent futures.
To really get freaky, some believe that this means the ability to choose our own paths is relatively predetermined: in that there is no freewill (ie we only have the perception of choices, and what we're going to choose is already predetermined, or at least, the paths associated with those choices are already mapped out)
The movie is a little hokey, and the acting etc only average. That's not really the point of this movie. It is to make you think. Try not to go bonkers though, by testing the freewill theory in real life ;)
Leave some extra time to work through various choices throughout the movie (you use your remote to do so while watching). I think you get more out of it that way. It helps to reinforce the PAC-man analogy in the movie.