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Reviews
A History of Violence (2005)
My Granparent's favourite film.
I took my Grandma and Grandad (89 & 92 years of age respectively) to see this at the UGC Haymarket Cinema in London on the opening weekend - at their request. I didn't want to see this film at all and in retrospect, I wish I hadn't of bothered.
They're both huge Cronenberg fans. Grandma is very fond of 'Crash'- the one about the people who get off on car-crashes. Grandad prefers 'Dead Ringers'- the one about the twin gynaecologists.
Since watching these movies I have no longer felt truly comfortable around Grandma and Grandad.
Personally, I loathe Cronenberg and all of his works. But sometimes I get guilty about that home Mum put them in so I take them out a couple of times a year to see a film. Or we just drink beer in Leicester Square, providing it's not too cold. They have circulation problems.
This film was okay I suppose. I couldn't really enjoy myself as Grandma got drunk too early and kept turning around to wink at these two guys in the row behind us.
Then Grandad laughed so hard he lost his teeth. Then he accused this young couple of hiding them from him so he tried to get the guy to step outside for a fight.
Grandma got involved and it made think how we ALL have a 'History Of Violence'. This was a big realisation for me.
Anyway, the film was hilarious and the gunshot noises sounded very realistic. Grandad said, pointing to the screen "that is EXACTLY what blood looks like in real life!" Grandma agreed with this and I started to wonder what the hell they had got up to when they were younger.
The film made us all cry. At least I think it was the film.
When I dropped them off at the Nursing Home they said "Hey sonny. How about taking us out again real soon to see another movie ?!" "Sure, sure" I replied.
They must be kidding. I want nothing to do with those crazy old geriatrics anymore.
I am in the process of changing my telephone number.
I would give the film 6/10.
9/10 if you aren't with drunken Grandparents.
R.O.T.O.R. (1987)
A lot better than '2001: A Space Odyssey'
This motion picture is one of a handful of truly great Science Fiction features.
It is certainly on a par with, if not slightly better than, Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey'.
This film has a brain and a heart. So rare these days.
The action scenes were way ahead of their time. You can see where the Wachowski Brothers got their inspiration for their 'Matrix' trilogy.
I think this tender and moving religious parable concerns itself with the delicate balance between man and machine.
It asks the audience to meditate on the nature of the soul, on the pain of human consciousness and the heavy weight that human emotions can carry.
It is about love & pain. Hardware, software and an acute study of dystopian paranoia.
It's a tale as timeless as 'The Lord Of The Rings' or 'Indiana Jones'.
It is about life and death and dreams.
But ultimately it asks the most important question of all - "Is there a God ?"
In this respect is film is much better than the similarly themed 'The Terminator' (1984. Dir; James Cameron) I cried when I saw this movie in the former Yugoslavia on New Year's Day, 1990.
And I wasn't the only soldier to break down. There was a lot of emotion in that rustic farmhouse that evening. We talked for hours afterwards. there was so much to discuss.
I distinctly remember our Commanding Officer's face - streamed with tears but smiling.
"Now, it's all so clear" he whispered, his body racked with cathartic sobs, "Now I know what WAR is all about!...."
He left the British Army after seeing this film. Some say he does voluntary work in Iraq now.
Don't take these reviews, both positive and negative, as your guide. Make your own mind up. Take a risk and make the bold decision to seek out a VHS copy of 'R.O.T.O.R'. All the answers to life's complex questions are hidden in this remarkable piece of celluloid gold. But one must stick at it. This is no 'no-brainer' experience ! It took at least 6 separate viewing & discussion sessions before I truly mined the rich resources of this multi-layered epic.
In the meantime I will continue to lobby for this film to be released on DVD.
7 xiao fu (1986)
This Film Has A Place In My Heart
I first bought this film on videocassette around 1990 for a couple of quid from a market stall. My friends and I were around 12 years old at the time and were already huge fans of the chop-socky genre. We'd already chalked up viewings of such Chan/Hung classics as 'Project A' (Parts I & II), 'Dragons Forever', 'Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Stars' and 'Wheels On Meals' (?! I know it's the wrong way round?!) in addition to lesser known cult classics as 'Mad Mission' AKA 'Aces Go Places' and 'Legend Of The Golden Pearl'.
The confused, muddled plots and badly translated dubbing were THE cornerstones of an enjoyable summer's afternoon back then - before we became more 'sophisticated' hoodlum teenagers. we used to re-wind sequences of dialogue. Again and again and again.
And again. And again until we almost wet ourselves with laughter.
This is no Kubrick classic. BUT it has a place in my heart simply because we used to laugh so hard over it. It's basically a kind of a pre-dated kung-fu 'Goonies'. But just SO much more ridiculous.
They have the most ridiculous names - Dum Dum, Pepper, Rocky, Fatty and, on my original VHS cover, one was even named Bulls**t (?!)
Their costume changes allow constant amusement. In one restaurant scene they are all decked out in some kind of bizarre cobalt coloured knickerbockers/beret combo.
Also they have a constant need to put their arms around each other's shoulders and chant "Seven Lucky Kids All For One!!! Yeaaaah!!" This is always filmed by an upward camera shot from the centre of their circle.
The other reviewer is right about the music. Like a lot of Hong Kong flicks it just fades in and out abruptly.
Check it out. If the idea of kids and adults, wearing ridiculous garments, knocking seven bells out of one another after saying things that do not make sense whilst wearing ridiculous costumes is your idea of fun - you will not be disappointed.