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ashfordcrane
Reviews
This Is It (2009)
Coming from a non-Michael Jackson fan...
I haven't been since I was a kid. I therefore had zero expectations for this movie, and even groaned that I had to come in at 6 this morning to preview it for my theater. That said, I was completely blown away and entertained from beginning to end. His voice and his dance moves are top form and timeless. He sang all his greatest hits, even from the J5 era, which really hit a soft spot with me. And people might be complaining that this isn't a typical concert movie...in truth, that is a big plus here. Typical concert movies are overly produced. The intimacy of this footage makes you feel, not like you're in a concert, but like you're witness to very private performances. You get to see first hand how involved this man was (to every little detail of production and planning). There are no crowds of screaming and crying fans to have to sit through (with the exception of a brief opening scene in which the auditioning dancers get a little too blubbery at times). This film easily reignited my appreciation for the man, who was without a doubt one of the greatest entertainers of our time. Complete 180 for me, I'll be the first to admit. And a side note, his female guitarist (her name escapes me) had me picking my jaw up off the floor, and not just her looks. You'll see what I mean.
The Final Destination (2009)
Formulaic, moronic, are you surprised?
This installment of the "Final Destination" franchise differs from all the others in that this one is about someone who has a premonition that their friends will die, avoids death, then they each meet their demise in the order of his premonition. The others were about someone who has a premonition that...Oh, wait. OK, this one's in 3D. The rest you've already seen...THREE TIMES!!! I've never seen the entirety of any of the first three of this series, so I honestly don't know if their meant to be as comedic as this one. The deaths aren't shocking or horrifying. They're just silly. And the 3D effects rank up there with "Sharkboy and Lavagirl." It's really that bad. As usual, death is Wile E. Coyote. And he unleashes his usual arsenal of Rube Goldberg tricks to dispatch his victims in "accidental" ways. His list of victims includes a lot of people you can't care less about and/or people you want to see die (including the ever present insensitive jerk and his jittery ex-girlfriend among others). So, just like a character explains during the opening race scene, you're not here to see any winners. You're here to see crashes (in this case, ridiculous death scenes). Well, rest assured the filmmakers won't bore you with pesky things like acting, plot, or substance. If this sounds like your cup of tea, enjoy.
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Not worth the eye candy
Like so many in the slasher genre, this movie couldn't decide on a tone. The intentionally comical violent scenes are poorly unbalanced by the seriousness of the characters. There is no comic relief here, just 3D eye candy that fails to deliver. The result is a dry concoction of plot and character that loses the audience's attention quickly. It is impossible to care about the story or those involved, but rather the viewers will just glance at their watches until the next death scene.
In regards to the photography, the 3D is effective and sharper than most seen today (compared to Bolt, Beowulf, etc), perhaps because it involves live action. The effects on the other hand range from somewhat amusing to unforgivably bad (in the tradition of Jaws 3).
The movie is obviously intended for teens, but after a few murders even the younger crowd will be embarrassed for the filmmakers' petty attempts to win a few laughs/screams. The film might be a big video hit for parties or get-togethers, but between death scenes you'll find yourself making a lot of beer runs.
The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)
Do not spend a dime on this movie.
My brother is an avid DVD collector. He took one look at the cover (two models on toilets) and had to add it to his collection. I stayed up with him to watch what turned out to be likely the most cringeable movie (I use that term loosely) I've felt obligated to sit through. I dared not make eye contact with my brother, quite certain he must have been cursing the receipt in his clenched fist. The biggest name in the whole movie is Michael Clark Duncan who appears in one scene, which the "filmmaker" decided to show every take of (about four total) throughout the movie. In fact, the whole movie pretty much follows this suit. The fact that the DVD contained deleted footage was a shock. (I went to bed without viewing it, however). To no surprise at all, I found this disc without its case behind the TV about a week later.