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loyenfox
Reviews
Jaws of Los Angeles (2021)
Genius idea...
I can see two stoned "kids" in their 30th sitting in their mum's basement as one of them goes "broooo, I have a great idea. We should go swimming"
his buddy replies "brooo, that is a great idea, but we should go to an exotic location"
Shortly, they realize that they have no chance of getting into any body of water since neither of their moms will drive them to the local pool.
"brooo", one exclaims, "talk to your dad about giving us money for a movie; it's gonna be a hit". They get up, and go to talk to the father.
As conversation starts,, they realize that they know nothing about shooting movies (besides that one class they took in community college), finding locations or talent.. but since the dad is a divorcee, and is trying to be nice to the idiot kid of his, he gives them a few thousand dollars.
The "investment" is enough only for the consumer level underwater camera kit and snacks.
Writing, filming, editing all is done by these two morons.. because they wasted money on snacks.
Talent scouting is also done by them, and their buddy - the amateur adult movie producer - lends help for close ups.
TL;DR:
the movie is terrible, filming is horrible, editing and script are abhorent. I didn't think acting can be THIS bad.. but here we are.
If you're dead set on wasting 75 minutes of your life, stare at the ceiling, pour water into a bottomless bucket, talk to your wall.. those 75 minutes are still going to be more productive.
New Amsterdam (2018)
Yeah, we're out...
Loved first two seasons.
3rd season turned into woke garbage, made a great medical director with a heart of gold into a leftist idiot, not understanding the basic principles of business.
Forget this garbage.
Kill Plan (2021)
Ho ho holy baloney is this one bad! wow!
Acting, script and actors are WELL below amateur.
Not a single person on set has even been in the same room with a firearm, and it is glaringly obvious in the first few seconds of this drivel... then again, they also haven't been a PE or physics class in highschool.
Special effects are borderline stupid, too. explosions and fire look like they were pulled from the 9.99 instagram special video pack.
TL;DR, skip this... I don't even know what to call this - sure as heck - not a movie. If you want to waste your time on something pointless - stare at the wall, you'll still get a better story and visuals.
The 2nd (2020)
Waste of Ryan's talent
Holy crap what a drivel.
I don't even know where to start.. the unlimited ammo? The "professional" mercenaries who don't even know how to shoulder a rifle? The terrible acting, direction and script?
Skip this crap. It's not worth the media it's on
Money Plane (2020)
yickes!
I like Copeland fellow.
But holy mother of god is this movie bad.
Story premise is something that could be interesting, but the writing, the acting, the directing .. all of it is terrible.
Color grading is decent, at least, so there is that.
Vivarium (2019)
Word drivel comes to mind...
I very much like odd flicks; the flow of mind kind of stuff, but this.. this is something else.
The word "drivel" comes to mind in first 20 minutes, and gets surpassed rapidly. I don't know what kind of acid trip creators were on, but they should be beaten with the very cameras they used to film this garbage.
Two of Us (2020)
what a drivel..
Low budget garbage with no talent in filming, acting or developing the video.
Terrible plot.
Terrible script.
Even nudity (of which there is very little) has no chance of making this low quality trash anything but a waste of film or time.
I can't believe someone put money into this.
The Oval (2019)
I didn't know who tyler perry is. now I do.
I don't even know where to begin. the terrible acting? the atrocious script? the laughable story line? the open "white man = bad" garbage spouted by the community of late?
I had no idea who that clown perry was until this show; I don't pay attention to media and Hollywood.
Now I know, and - boy - am I glad. knowing this name will save me so much time as i can skip all his drivel.
Don't waste your time on this garbage, you will get more entertainment value from looking at the ceiling.
The Last Boy (2019)
Driest crappiest sci fi in a while
I am blown away by all these loons marking this garbage 9 and 10.
excruciating acting, below basic special effects, lame story.. Holy bananas was this flick terrible..
The Red Line (2019)
Fake reviews ahoy!
If there was an award for a terrible show, this garbage would take it.
awful scripting, idiotic story line.
5th Passenger (2017)
1 doesn't begin to describe how bad this garbage is
Save yourself time and find something else to watch.
Hell, throw some paint on the wall, and take in all those minutes it takes it to dry; you will still get more out of it than by watching this drivel.
low budget does not mean that you can act like crap.. yet they do.
low budget does not mean that CGI needs to be garbage.. yet it is.
low budget does not mean that a story has to be a complete waste.. do you see where this is going?
horrible film. Waste of time and bandwidth.
Ice Age: Collision Course (2016)
Writers should really lay off LSD for a spell.
Just made it through the entirety of the sh!t show that people called Ice Age: Collision course. Lovable Scrat makes a great opening to the movie, but things go downhill quickly right after. The same, classically boring equation creators have used for years would STILL work had they laid off the heavy drugs they must've done while writing the story line and designing secondary characters. I'm officially done with this franchise. Whoever created this garbage needs to be punched. repeatedly. IMDb also needs to screw off with a 10 line requirements. There are some titles (such as this piece of trash) that really doesn't deserve the 10 liner.