clabkeloh Reviews

Veronica (I) (2017)

Don't fall for the hype! Terrible!

[1/10 · 6 March 2018]

I spent a long weekend at work reading breathless reviews, ie; "I couldn't even finish it!" Bullshit!! Awful, awful, dull movie derivative of of so many better movies years ago...I couldn't finish it because I drifted off to the loc al new and then fell asleep twice. Pure bot-driven hype over garbage.

Otto; or, Up with Dead People (2008)

worth checking out!! seriously!

[8/10 · 28 August 2013]

Bruce LaBruce is (very weirdly) becoming one of my favorite indy film makers. WWaaaay back in the early nineties in film school we saw "no skin off my ass" and I dismissed it then as pretentious soft-core. I was glib and wrong. Ages ago my friends and I went to see "Hustler White" at a midnite showing and frankly we were at once titillated and impressed. Then when "Raspberry Reich" rolled out I was ALMOST convinced....That film struck a pitch-perfect chord between 60's revolutionary porn (I Am Curious Yellow) and modern satire. I just watched "Otto" and I am officially a fan. Through the use of explicit sex and graphic violence M. LaBruce is actually making a point! I'm impressed and pleasantly surprised. This is maybe a "zombie" movie...but more specifically a neat commentary on modern youth with a great sense of humor and a chilling overtone. If you're older and adventurous and want to get a sort of "summary" of the present youth-culture and this whole "zombie thing" this is a great film to watch. Underrated and sublime (after you get-over all the gay sex...if you have to get-over it at all)

Unhappy Birthday (2011)

sublime and intensely creepy

[10/10 · 7 February 2012]

okay...the plot summary above is weirdly off on the plot points and unhelpful. The PR copy on the DVD compares this film to both "Wickerman" and "Let's scare Jessica to Death". I thought 'how is that possible?'...Guess what? . . This film is a wonderful, strange mash-up of just EXACTLY those sorts of things! The acting is truly good, especially for such a low budget effort. The photography is very nice, and the stylistic and editing choices are nearly brilliant. The gore is very low key and contained but the creeping dread and superb building of suspense make it all the more shocking when it happens. The story is about a young woman and two men in a strange (but all too believable triangle relationship) who are drawn to an isolated tidal island--hence no one being able to leave while the tide is in. The group comes seeking to meet the woman's long-lost sister who appears to be part of strange religious community that dominates the island. Sexual ambiguity and the woman's new pregnancy bring extraordinary tension into the fragile 3- way. While on the island the sinister cult community becomes more and more menacing. From here the movies goes from merely 'moody' to terrifyingly CRAZY so simply and so deftly you just have to see it. In all... a stunning and beautiful effort in small/independent film making and a great little horror-movie.

Paranormal Activity (2007)

wow! What a steaming turd!

[1/10 · 12 January 2010]

Really? An assemblage of home video that contains artistic lighting, sentimental framing, and narrative-driven dissolves during the mundane (and endless) daylight shots of a 'real' couple bickering punctuated by some tiresome night-vision effects of people sleeping during non- diagetic sound effects and a grip running around flicking on lights and slamming doors just out of frame? Really? This is how a Summer blockbuster is made? My 5-year-old nephew could have come up with a scarier story. Truly, HE laughed when the ouija board burst into flames. This isn't a movie, it's a scam. Save your money and send a message people! Don't watch crap!

The Big Bus (1976)

Wonderful fluff and a well-deserved spoof

[8/10 · 19 January 2007]

"The Big Bus" seems to be getting better as it ages: what was once par-for-the-course screwball comedy is morphing into grand, high camp.

Camp with real style, too.

An amazing cast of big actors pull out all the stops; mugging for the camera and delivering the most insane lines in earnest deadpan. I remember the mania for disaster movies that occurred when I was a kid and "The Big Bus" hits the nail on the head aping all the great moments of an overblown genre. Plus you have to see the bus to really appreciate the absurdity. I recommend seeing this film just for the fun of seeing a colossal double-decker, articulated passenger bus that has a swimming pool, a bowling alley, a formal dining room, and a piano bar complete with a brilliant schmaltzy singer. A little lower-key than the 'Airplane' movies...but well worth it simply to see the A-List cast having fun. A Note: the dinner scene can never be accurately described, it must be seen to be believed.

Rollerball (1975)

Don't be fooled, one of the BEST films ever

[9/10 · 16 September 2006]

Rollerball is one hell of a movie. It masterfully combines great action with big ideas. Many people nowadays are turned off by the slightly dated feel of the film, but that passes quickly once you give Rollerball a chance. Rollerball is great film-making and you can watch it over and over and still find something you missed. Amazingly the film's message is getting more and more meaningful over time, unlike so much of older sci-fi. The gist plot is that in the future people have sacrificed all freedom and responsibility in return for comfort. No one cares who makes decisions or makes policy because they are smothered in diversions: drugs, parties, and of course the shockingly violent game Rollerball. Most memorable are the actual game sequences which are pulse- pounding and gory...but the devil is in the details. The fantastic party scene (actually an homage to the great party scene from Renoir's "Rules of the Game') is so full of brilliant detail it brings this future world to life. And I have to mention actress Maude Adams. She plays Ella, a secondary character, the ex-wife of the great Rollerball player Johnathan E. Johnathan has lost Ella (I won't give away this particular futuristic twist) and spends most of the first half of the film pining for her. When she at last appears, for a very small part of the film, she does not disappoint. Maud Adams looks better in this movie than in any other, she appears nearly ethereal, and her performance is wonderful. The audience not only understands why Johnathan, who has everything a man can want, can not get over the loss of Ella, but the viewer gets caught up believing in Johnathan's fight against society. Not to belittle the other actors at all, though. John Houseman is perfectly awe-inspiring, and James Caan is perfectly cast as the disillusioned sports idol. Rollerball's sets and costumed may be right out of the 70's, but most of the clothes and furniture are back 'In' and very high style decades later. Anyone can watch this nicely paced film, and many will be jolted by realizing that once upon a time directors were artist and studios made art.

Soylent Green (1973)

Fun, Quaint, and maybe even important

[16 September 2006]

Of all the alarmist, apocalyptic sic-fi of the 60's and 70's, Soylent Green is one of the best. First of all, people REALLY BELIEVED in the film's message and you can tell. Great stars give great performances, the production values are top notch, and even knowing the film's ending one can still watch it over and over. Watching E. G. Robinson's performance now, knowing he died just ofter the filming, is stirring. Now many of the film's aspects are terribly dated, but that only makes the movie more fun to watch...it's a great document of FutureWasn't. So why is this movie so compelling though it's been completely discredited? And it has been discredited, folks, I'm stunned by how many people still consider the movie a realistic warning in the face of the contrary facts.

It is the earnestness of the film, truly moving. It is the great understated special effects (these matte paintings belong in a museum), and it is the often overlooked soundtrack. Soylent green is worth watching repeatedly just to hear the genius score from the amazingly complex opening music to dazzling interpretations of what future pop might sound like. A definite must-see for fans of the genre.

Logan's Run (1976)

great movie for kids, otherwise just kitsch

[3/10 · 16 September 2006]

Reading other comments I'm struck by how many people fell in love with this movie when they were kids...and I did too. But as an adult this movie is merely irritating. Rent this for your 12-year- old son, then leave the room. Every one else commenting seems to acknowledge that it's based on a wildly popular novel, but no one seems to have ever read that novel. The book is light years different and really brilliant. The movie is a drastically dumbed-down version, a typical Hollywood mess. If someone were to really film the novel then we'd have something! All the griping aside, Logan's Run is interesting camp. The model of the future city is delightfully overdone, the long scenes filmed in the Dallas Apparel Mart will make you gasp at the architectural horrors of bygone days, plus you get to see lots of iconic movie stars as very young people. If your drunk or high and have nothing better to do, this is perfect. If you're a real sci-fi fan, skip it.

Curse of the Demon (1957)

Another of those rare "Must See" films of the genre

[9/10 · 20 May 2006]

I have never seen a serious bad review of this movie and it deserves that kind of respect. Though dated, the special effects heralding the arrival of the demon are to this very day arresting and brilliant. The story is pure classic fun from a bygone age. It is the most genius of pulp fiction and the most provocative of occult storytelling. Lots of people are disappointed in the demon itself, but that amazes me personally. For the time and place that this film was made the 'creature' is magnificent. Watching this film around Halloween is a ritual among the men and boys in my family and it still fascinates even our teenage boys.

The Abominable Snowman (1957)

a true 'must-see' movie of the genre

[9/10 · 20 May 2006]

Although younger, modern audiences might find their appetites for graphic gore and cheap shocks left wanting (yes, I'm generalizing, sorry kids) the truth is that this is one of the most frightening movies of all time. Many of this film's tricks and tropes have been copied (often poorly) in hundreds of horror films since. And, if you casually begin a conversation about older horror movies and bring this title into the discussion, you will almost always get a universal reaction of excitement and talk of fond memories. THAT is the true measure of a great film..."Did everyone who saw it have a good time?" For this film the answer is 99% YES. Plus, nearly everyone who's ever seen this movie (no matter what age or how jaded) has had a nightmare about a huge, hairy arm coming at them from under the edge of a tent. That's the real power of the cinema.

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (1973)

Fun to watch, low grade, and will scare kids

[5/10 · 20 May 2006]

I remembered seeing this movie on TV when I was a kid on the Saturday afternoon Sci-fi theater. At the time It was hard to follow (hint: anyone over the age of 10 will find it stupifying) and there was one scene that really frightened me out of my wits. For years I'd forgotten this movie when recently it popped up on a late night 'creature feature' and I watched it with my 8 year old nephew. Yes, from a film-making standpoint this movie is terrible..but so terrible it's FUN to watch. And the same scene that had me cowering under the blankets as a kid also terrified my nephew! I'm talking about a mid-film scene where the young boy witnesses his father (tranformed into a a truly laughable werewolf) lurching around in the middle of a road, causing cars to veer and crash, then attacking the injured passengers in the wrecks. Even as an adult I find this one small part singularly disturbing. If you see this is coming up on late night TV definitely check it out. It's like Ed Wood on bad acid.

Transporter 2 (2005)

Bad Bad Bad

[1/10 · 10 January 2006]

Disgusting and insulting!!! AND I actually liked the the original Transporter! DO NOT SEE THIS FILM---If you are looking for European flair in a an action/caper genre, see something like LAYER CAKE. If you are just looking for action, see ANYTHING, except this Hollywood disaster! The story in insanely stupid (and I am saying this as a person who really enjoyed "Ocean's 12" probably the MOST improbable film ever made. Finding out this was co-written by Besson is a slap in the face--both by Hollywood producers and European film intelligentsia. Dumb, Dumb. Dumb...my 5 year old nephew was disappointed by this film! I am saying this to help anyone out there. IMDb has saved me twice before from wasting my time on utterly insipid films..I'm only trying to return the favor. I hated this, both of my roommates hated this, my boyfriend and his 2 roommates hated this, my 5 year old nephew hated this...I'm asking for my money back!!