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Darthjuris
Reviews
The Captives (2001)
Absolute crap.
I like B-grade horror movies. This movie does not merit a "B". Nor "C". Nor "Q". See where I am going? I'd give more details about what precisely was bad about this, but my mind is blocking most of this steaming turd from my memory as a defensive measure. (I defer to the gentleman's review above.
Well put, sir!)
The people who made this movie took a page from Ed Wood in that this movie is not about the details. It's about a 'big picture' that never seems to materialize. It is an amateur Goth/S&M piece that was scripted entirely by phrases beginning with "...and then wouldn't be sooo cool if...". A lot of nothing happens. It's like waiting behind a convenience store waiting for a blind date to arrive would be like if said date never existed and was merely a prank on you by people who hate you a lot. After you realized your mistake, the pain and ridicule are already firmly in place.
This was the least enjoyable movie...ever.