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18 & Over (2022)
Fun
I'm not sure what everyone else's problem is but this movie is fun. It's supposed to be campy and it succeeds at that. It follows a woman loving a true nightmare of a bad breakup in the pandemic and now staying alone for a week out in the woods. It brings a lot of themes from the pandemic up, such as quarantine, the rise of online sex work, loneliness and mental health. There's a few loops and bounds you have to go through to figure out who the killer is, but I will say they do prove who it is rather quickly. Aesthetically, it's shot well through hues of purple, blues and reds. I would say this movie is like "Cam" and "Hush" blended in one. Not necessarily a home invasion movie, but heading down that way. At first, I was worried this was going to be another dead beaten theme of a social media horror movie, but it really wasn't, thank the high heavens. So, go into it with an open mind and enjoy this modern camp thriller.
A Frosty Affair (2015)
A Winter Horror Film
So this movie is lowkey a horror movie. If you would just change out the silly quirky music in the background and put something a little more ominous, you would see why.
First thing first is WOW. The sexual tension you feel from the main characters is enough to make the lower lumbar in your spine to give you that feeling of twisting and clinching as if you are about to get a spinal tap. The second thing I have to say is WOW. Redford is pretty hot. With that said, he is the ONLY character in this movie you will like. Let's dive in, shall we?
It took us a while to figure out that they were possibly in Canada. We assumed that these people were in Alaska or maybe somewhere like North Dakota, but to make the story feel a little more adventurous, wild and interesting, we're going to say they were in Maine. The movie starts out of this remote, nearly abandoned town in the far Northern part of Maine called Sorenson Lake. A typically annoying type of false genuine behaviored woman named Kate decided that she need to run off to this town and teach the children her knowledge she brought up there with her from her "big little city" of Snowy Pines in Southern Maine.
Her school year is over and they are all throwing Kate a party at this elementary school. At first, there is a children's play or something and they all of the sudden just disappear. That's when this party starts getting a little edgier with the apparent spiking of the punch and this one teacher is gyrating her hips in wide circles against a chair and twerking. You don't really know what's actually going until the teacher stops gyrating and clearly exhausted, walks up to Kate out of breath to explain she is getting an award from the equally party animal principal.
Kate says thanks and disappears into a classroom with an iPad to where she starts explaining to her insanely boring and creep fiancé, Brad, about how excited she is to get on the plane tomorrow and run to Snowy Pines to get married. Brad, however, seems a little disinterested and falsely pretends to care. He states that he has to leave and we can only conclude that someone is under the table doing something bad. Never proven, but a really strong theory and you will see why I think this.
Kate then goes home to get some shut eye before she has to catch her plane. Overnight there is a raging blizzard that releases havoc on Sorenson Lake and now she is worried she won't be able to catch her plane. That's when she proceeds to throw her luggage above the heap of snow blockading her door and climbs out of her house (never shuts the door) and then realizes her car is buried. Here you would think that she knew her flight had to be canceled, but this is when it gets grand. She WALKS to this shack and it leaves you wondering what is she doing here? Turns out this is the "airport" she was going to. Well there's no pilot or plane there and she is left lost, scared and confused. But things get interesting when this strikingly gorgeous and mysterious man shows up to obviously STEAL something from this "airport" and Kate becomes very demanding of him.
He's like "hey back off" I have to go somewhere and she is being an absolute brat and forcing him to take her to Snowy Pines. You will never really understand how she knows for sure that he is also going to Snowy Pines, but it ends up all too convenient. You would also think that these two would already know each other coming from the same small town in where I like to think is Southern Maine, but I guess not? I guess they all figured out a way to absolutely ignore each other.
Redford just makes like a lobster and gets the shell out of dodge, once again leaving Kate alone. She manages to run up to a house of one of the children she taught and asks to borrow their snowmobile. However, in the magical terrain of what I'm calling Maine, she somehow manages to catch up to Redford who is lost. He knows she is following him and his mildly helping her, but sabotaging her at the same time.
This is where the sexual tension starts heating the hell up and you're looking around thinking wow, I'm so inspired to love. Redford jumps his snowmobile off this hill and Kate pulls up and says "what the heck man?" He says "WTF GO HOME." She decides she is going to jump this huge hill in this mediocre snowmobile that she either borrow, stole or bought (you never really figure that out) and crashes it. She falls off and doesn't move. She's clearly fine, but Redford freaks out and immediately gets on top of her and starts unbuttoning her clothes. Not really sure if that was needed for the CPR process and it seemed a little melodramatic and presumptuous to assume CPR was needed, but she wakes up and she's like "omg get off."
She stomps, whines and cries some more about needing to get to Snowy Pines. Redford says "FINE. ONE BAG ONLY" and we learn that this is going to be a wild trip for three days.
In this time, NO ONE of Kate's family is concerned. Kate could be dead and they haven't heard from her at all and they are just going on with day-to-day business as if this wedding wasn't postponed at the last minute due to severe weather. We meet her ghoulish, even creepier father, who is OBSESSED with Brad. Kate's mother is definitely on some kind of happy pills and is pretending to be ok, but we know she's miserable in her life. Kate's younger sister, Cindy, is trying to seduce the hell out of Brad and her father keeps giving her little slaps on the wrist about while simultaneously encouraging her to with slight nods and winks. It's my theory that Brad has cheated on Kate before with Cindy when they were on the iPad, but I don't know if these producers and screenwriters are smart enough to come up with that idea. So just a rough theory I'm working with here. There's this scene where you all will cringe, but can't look away, because it's so bizarre. Kate's dad forces Brad to take his shoes and socks off and forcibly pushes to him press hit feet super hard into some carpet and share a nearly-sexual moment with him on a chair. After that, Brad goes up to his room and falls into Cindy's seduction and accidentally breaks her nose. These people were a party for sure. Great personalities. Super lovely.
So moving on back to the Kate and Redford's journey this is where the plot thickens to a possible horror movie. Redford is driving at night and decides that they need to break and enter to this seemingly fully-furnished and stocked "abandoned" home to sleep for the night. Redford asks Kate to start a fire in the fireplace and she then continues to act confused about it, starts dumping lighter fluid all over the places, sets her sleeve on fire which magically blew the roof off for a second. Redford, rolls his eyes and finds his first excuse to get naked. This makes Kate squirm but she can't get him off her mind now. Redford puts some clothes on and goes out to drop some deuces in the outhouse. While he is doing this we see this large figure with a gun come out and go into the house. We legitimately started getting terrified at this point, because we were like what the heck was that? Who is that?
The owner of this house is an insane trapper who is pointing the gun at Kate and Redford. He's asking Redford to put a price on Kate's skin as if he were going to skin her alive and sell the pelt. Then finally Redford begs him to get her away and out of the house. Trapper agrees and then this is when things get kind of wacky. HE STARTS BEGGING REDFORD TO STAY AND HAVE SEX WITH HIM. He was about to force himself upon Redford until Kate stops it. Then Redford knocks him out and they run. That's when the trapper comes out crying and rolling on the ground talking about how lonely he was. We as the audience started feeling super sad for the trapper, because he is lonely. That's when our pal Derek had to remind us that the trapper was about to sexually abuse Redford and we like uh wait duh. Bye Trapper.
Kate forces them to cross a frozen river where the ice breaks and nearly kills Redford. He has a seizure from hypothermia, but Kate makes a tiny fire that saves him. More canoodling and nudity happen here from Redford, but then Kate kept ruining it. She forced Redford to stop so she can pee. She makes him help her unzip the jumpsuit, because she REFUSES to take off the mittens she's wearing. A bear comes up. They have to play dead, the bear starts irrationally roaring, runs up to the snowmobile and eats their food and runs off pushing the snowmobile on it's side. INSTEAD OF TURNING THE SNOWMOBILE RIGHT SIDE UP THEY DECIDE IT'S BROKEN AND MUST CONTINUE ON FOOT. They decide they are going to break into another house. Kate gets caught by this giant naked man. He starts reasonably chasing them out while Kate steals food and alcohol. Redford manages to steal a tractor and the slowly zoom off. The tractor runs out of gas about 20 feet ahead and they continue on foot.
They stumble on to this sex motel in the middle of nowhere that somehow is not-vacant except for one room. This whole time by the way, Kate has been pestering Redford about this woman named "Jodi" he is visiting and she keeps sneaking through his stuff when he's not looking. Kate is finally about to give herself up to him, because they are now in love with each other and Redford is clearly way hotter and way cooler than her creepy fiancé back at home. However, Kate completely ruins this when she starts creeping through his things again and starts YELLING and BERATING Redford over having a life.
From here they magically get back to Snowy Pines and Kate questioning her decisions and her mom is telling her to not marry Brad. Redford turns out to have a stepdaughter he cares about from a previous marriage and Jodi is his mom he was visiting. Kate says no at the wedding and runs outside where Redford is waiting. They kiss and drive off. Brad hooks up with Cindy. The dad winks.
This movie would be a 10 if all of the characters weren't horrible.
Holiday High School Reunion (2012)
Truly Flawless
This movie is a RIOT! Do you like Pretty in Pink, A Cinderella Story, Mean Girls, Sybil, United States of Tara, Romy and Michele's HS Reunion and 20 minute musical numbers? This movie gave us everything we wanted: romance, drama, scandal, mystery. It was so raw that the main character's name was Jordan at first but then magically turned to Georgia a third into the movie. Kind of like the movie title, because you will mostly find this in the US under "A Christmas Crush."
Ready to take a trip down memory lane? Well get prepared, because 75% of this movie is a flashback. This is where you learn not only is Georgia maybe struggling to make it on her own as fashion designer in LA, but might be struggling with a bit of dissociative fugue or some type of mental health problem.
The movie starts out (after a too avant-garde modeling shoot) with "Georgia" on the phone talking to her mom who tried to hook her up with her hot cousin Robert who she thought was adopted, so I guess they made out or something. Once you get out of the shock of that, you will open your eyes to see Ms. Georgia is back in her hometown for Christmas when she learns of her 10 year reunion. She was voted most likely to succeed and head of the cheerleading squad for Preston HS and an (all soprano quartet?) glee club.
Her old best friends, Tory, Katie and the only sweet one, Heather, come in and really throw things out of whack. I understand that Tory is the villain in this movie and she actually does suck, but can you really blame her? She gets suspicious when Georgia starts telling all of these lies and zoning out to smile for no reason about ANOTHER flashback. Tory is trying to sabotage Georgia and her quest to get back with her ex, Craig. However, Georgia is a pathological liar, so is Tory really that unreasonable? Whatever reason, Ben (old male bff, obviously in the closet) is super forgiving, but I think he's suspicious of Georgia too.
Georgia has this really weird creepy thing about this ex-boyfriend and she packs a picture frame with them together to cuddle with at night back at home. I think he and Tory was the trigger for her PTSD you later learn. Her best friend Ben (Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls) is the only regular character you will like, except for Craig's hot best friend who loves Heather. Georgia is friend zoning Ben pretty hard and he's like UGH F ME plz, just get over that loser Craig and love me.
You will meet Georgia's disappointed father for three minutes and never hear of see from him again. He is a good 95% his daughter is truly an idiot and we can't really blame him.
Once you get to the high school, the movie setting will never change. They are just running in and out of this high school. You will see Georgia's dress get dirtier and dirtier throughout the movie. I think it's supposed to be metaphorical for her coming out of a facade and truly being yourself. Craig throws a football into the punch bowl and immediately ruins the dress, she steals a long cardigan out of a locker, forgives Craig for ruining her dress, rolls around in the football field screwing her dress up even more. She also teepees the principal's office (despite that it might not be the same principal they remember) and you almost for get these people are nearly 30. It really brings the child out of you.
The musical numbers though. Georgia messes most of them up, but also get nice and comfortable. You will be serenaded for at least 15 minutes through the FIVE WILD musical breaks they have prepared. You can tell these actresses are vocally trained and definitely were born to dance. These were just absolutely jaw-dropping, show-stopping performances, especially Georgia's mental breakdown cheer/hip-hop performance at the end.
Trying to wrap this up in case there are character limits. By the end of the movie you will really hate Georgia, but feel inspired to get your head checked out, understand that Tory really does suck, but still is kind of reasonable for thinking Georgia sucks. Ben, Heather and weird ex-bf bff's are the only ones you will like. Craig is a total tool AND DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER DATING GEORGIA FOR 15 MINUTES before "falling in love with her again" and ending up terrible. Her mother is just as weird, definitely on benzos (apple doesn't fall too far from the tree). Katie, the other best friend sexually harasses their old teacher until he gives into her. She makes the teacher at one moment tell her the formulas in the Periodic Table and she sits there and orgasms over it. I wish I could go into more detail for when you meet Ben's INSANE intern, Brooke, but that's something you need to experience for yourself.
They really outdid themselves. Please get on Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Instant Video and fully get engaged to this movie. You will not regret it.
She's All That (1999)
Truly A Classic
Zack, that classic, perfect and handsome jock that has it all. He's got money, he's got the ladies. But there is more that meets the eye.
Zack's narcissistic witch of a girlfriend, Taylor, breaks up with him after a romantic rendezvous with a gross reality star on the Real World season 2 LA, Brock.
This becomes the hottest gossip throughout this Southern California high school when Usher announces it to the whole school. That is when Zack decides that he will absolutely NOT feel any self pity and will turn this whole debacle around.
Zack's manipulative best friend, Dean, calls him out on his bluff but decides that he wants to play a game. He challenges him to a bet that he can't turn just any run-of-the-mill gal into a prom queen to beat Taylor. Their other seemingly nice black best friend, Preston, thinks they're being crazy and wants NOTHING to do with this.
They're being little typical judgmental pricks when Dean spots Laney, a confused socially awkward art student and just an all around klutz. Zack then screams "LANEY BOGGS? NO WAY." Then he reluctantly decides to accept the bet.
He first attempts to approach her at school, fails. Zack then goes to Laney's work at a local taqueria. She says, "HELLO?!?!? STALKING IS ILLEGAL!?!?!" However, she decides to give him five minutes to explain himself. She decides to let him come to an art piece. Now, this is where my fave part of the movie comes in. It's so funny. omg
They go to this art show where this dude is running around in undies in this interpretive art piece then Laney comes out and steals it away. This is where Zack really starts to almost immediately fall in love with her. Laney throws him on the stage, however, he totally pulls this hackeysack out of nowhere and starts kicking it to some kind of poem about how pressured he feels in life and totally pulls it off. They go outside and Zack tells her that she has beautiful eyes. She says "WHAT THE FREAK? I KNEW IT. YOU TOLD ME I HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES!" And then runs away.
Zack shows up uninvited to her house and becomes tight with her dad and brother. Laney's like "WTF YOU JUST DON'T GIVE UP DO YA?" They go to the beach.
Gabrielle Union really takes notice of Laney and how much more she likes her than evil witch Taylor and nominates her for prom queen.
Queue classic scene where Zack asks his pretty sister Mackenzie to give Laney this hot top-of- the-line look for Preston's party. She takes the glasses off and slaps on a red dress and whoa, we got a whole new woman.
They go to this party and Laney gets revenge on her arch-nemesis in art, Misty, by painting her face to resemble a clown after just trying to help her. Taylor sees her at the party and makes a scene by pouring wine down her dress. Everyone gets quiet and Laney just books it, crying. That is when Zack stops to look at Taylor and says "WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!" And continues to run out, leaving Taylor standing there looking flabbergasted.
Everyone is LOVING that Laney is running and giving a voice to the rejects of the school. Taylor comes back after a short disappearance, upset that her reality star boyfriend broke up with her, but has her brain focused on prom queen. She steps out of her car after crying and is immediately over it when she sees she has competition from Laney. She looks at Gabrielle Union and their white gal pal and exclaims "DID I MISS SOMETHING!?"
Everything is going fine for Zack and Laney until that evil, manipulative Dean, has had enough. He sneaks up on Laney behind Zack's back at the taqueria she works at and asks her to prom and throws Zack under the bus. When they're decorating for prom, Taylor tries to scheme on Zack and he's like uh no, I love Laney and Taylor informs him that Laney is going to prom with Dean.
Zack turns around with them big sad blue eyes and sprints up to Laney and Dean and says "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHAT THE HELL DEAN? THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Scandal unfolds. Dean is like "dude, I can't do this bet anymore, I love her." Zack is like "WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM DEAN?!?!"
This is where my favorite line is exclaimed. "Zack, is this true? AM I A FRICKIN BET?"
Zack and Laney are both moping around, because they're in love, but he looks like a jerk and she looks like a fool. Laney and her dad have a real moment and convinces her to go have fun at prom and that there is a handsome guy waiting for her upstairs.
You get prepared and think heck yeah, Zack is there. BUT NOPE it's Dean. Laney barely loses to Taylor. Dean, Preston and their pals are hanging out in the boy's room when Dean announces his plan to steal Laney's innocence. Preston is unimpressed with Dean at this point is like "quit being a jerk, she's a cool girl." Dean is like "WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM?" They all walk out and that's when Laney's dweeb best friend, who now dates Mackenzie??, comes out and stops Zack in the middle of his prom king speech to tell him Dean's plan. Zack darts out of the gym leaving Taylor by herself.
Zack runs to Laney's house and surprises her when she walks in and says "I had no idea" and she was like "he's a jerk" and then they kiss.
Thank you Freddie Prinze, Jr. Thank you Rachael Leigh Cook. Most definitely thank you Gabrielle Union. Paul Walker RIP.
10 out of 10 for me.
Bring It On (2000)
Make you way to the top of the pyramid
This movie is excellent. Not only does it have a great story for entertainment and your typical starting from the bottom, now we here line, but it has a great amount of knowledge on the truth of social constructs that is now present in modern day America. Run-on sentence, I know forgive me.
First of all, I think this movie is great for all people that aren't white. This movie really calls the hell out of white privilege. It shows two awesome perspectives of your typical rich white people living in upper-class San Diego with the one stereotypical pretty Asian girl, but then it shows the other side of the tacks with the poorer majority African-American, Black and Latin communities in Compton. It really makes light of what kind of issues each side face and how they take care of them. For instance, Missy is this privileged little white girl, but has that almost obnoxious self-righteous, my life is terrible, attitude for a lot of the movie. However, her biggest issue is that she just wanted to feel accepted by her peers and be able to make some new pals. While over here with the East Compton Clovers are really facing some tough real life issues, such as financial hardships, being cheated out of the system by rich white people and just trying to stand up for what's right.
I think this movie is a great lesson for a lot of privileged people. You can't just cheat your way through the system and expect to stay on top, because sooner or later God will cut you down. This is exactly what happened to the Rancho Carne Toros. Evil Big Red thought she was just going to continue going up to Compton (because apparently she had the gas money to drive 200 miles everyday) and steal the Clovers hard work and meaningful cheers and just get away with it. However, when Isis became cheer captain, she said "I am not letting these blonde gals steal from us." Then that is when the Rancho Carne Toros come tumbling down. It just shows that cultural appropriation in the end just makes you look like a complete *expletive*.
However, this movie does do a good job at showing a great deal of feminism and not just your typical white feminism. Torrance and Isis both show some great deal of feminism. Torrance really truly cares about the teams that her team screwed over. She feels lost, scared, confused and like her whole life has been a fraud. But instead of backing down she tries to make it right. She gets screwed by a creepy looking ex-boyfriend, but she stands up to him and says "get out of my life and my way, I am taking this over and this is how we are going to do things for now on." She even goes to the extent of trying to get all the best competition at the National Cheerleading Finals, because she wants to see some courage and some strength from her squad. This is where Isis though comes in with her great deal of feminism. When Torrance goes out of the way to get a check to give to the Clovers to make their trip to the finals, Isis just blatantly rips it up in her face and says "we aren't a charity case. I am going to be strong for my squad and we are going to make it to the top, so *expletive*, bring it on." Torrance pretty much says, "you know what? *expletive* you, I will bring it on.
Because the strength of these two women, the squads both really do come from the bottom and end up at the top together. It really shows how the world can go round if everyone comes together and works hard for what they want, but at the same time be kind to each other and just lift each other up.
I was so proud that the Clovers won. It made me feel so enlightened that finally these underprivileged people got to make their way to the top finally.
This movie also has a great plot for love. Torrance is dealt a strong love triangle, because she's with her terrible ex-boyfriend, but she loves Missy's brother, Cliff. Cliff also has that typical privileged, but hard, kind of attitude that Missy holds, but shows that he has a sweet endearing loving side.
This is a quick shout out to the strong ass gay men that really helped make their squads go all the way to the top too. Love you Les.
Anyway, Torrance finally had enough. She was kicked down, manipulated and pretty much beaten emotionally, nevertheless, she persisted. She ended up with the man of her dreams, but she also got the satisfaction of working real hard and hopefully an A in the chemistry class that she shared with Cliff.
All in all, this movie has one ending meaning. You can be who you want to be.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
Love this Show
Honestly, this show is really well-done. People are so quick to talk so much (cussword) about it, but it's because people are just quick to judge to think of it being superficial. This show is a really good study of sociology and culture. This show actually shows that this family has a lot of the same problems that a lot of Americans have within the family, but the difference is that they are part of the upperclass. I think it's an interesting look into a family from wealth.
I Kourtney and Khloe also definitely make the show. They're a lot more down-to- earth than some of their counterparts, such as Kris and Kim. I think Kris does get a lot of criticism, but I think she's a great mother and genuinely does care. She does often take business a little more too seriously over family, but I know a lot of parents that have that problem. Kim might not be as down-to-earth, but I think she's genuinely a caring introverted woman who is trying maintain her life as a mother and an entrepreneur. Also, seeing some of the growth and transitions between Rob, Kendall, Kylie, Scott and Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) makes the show worthwhile.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are judgmental and won't give it the time of day and deem it as "cheap entertainment." If you watch it and look at it as more of a documentary of a culture difference between upperclass American rather than your own, you will enjoy the show. Some of the situations might come off as ridiculous, but I do believe it's because they are a group of rather dramatic personalities. All of these season are on Hulu, so sit down and watch it!
Rodeo & Juliet (2015)
Wow. Just Wow.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT. I HAD A REAL BUCKIN GOOD TIME WATCHING THIS!
Now I believe there is room for improvement so it will be getting a 6 out of 10 from me.
Sandrifer Garlock (the mother who looks like a mix of Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Garner) is having that classic struggle where a single mother, who inherits a wild plantation/ranch down in he way hot summers of Louisiana, has to convince her bratty teenage daughter, Juliet (played by someone in her late 20s, possibly the gal from PLL and Ned's Declassifieds?) to leave their life behind in NYC and start a new chapter in their lives.
They get down there and Juliet immediately makes a black friend (at least they attempted diversity) near offensively named, Nan, and falls in love with a CGI horse named "Rodeo."
This movie has it all. Love, romance, tragedy, despair, broken hearts, SCANDAL, friendship, and inspiration.
This movie, despite that she falls in love with her mother's lover's nephew's brother's first cousin twice removed's fiance's father or something (almost too close for comfort), really provided a nice evening of laughs and memories.
Very clever title name too honestly. Quite superb!