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Elvis (2022)
Superb.
This film has made me feel things I've not felt in years. And despite criticism, Tom Hanks is superb. Baz Luhrman has made something spectacular. It might be his best film, yet.
Nope (2022)
Peele needs to return to comedy.
People calling this movie a "spectacle" likely are confused of the definition. Peele is criminally overrated as a director. Even more so as a "horror" director. He makes mediocre films that are fit for Disney channel. The man is a complete hack I'm almost convinced he's doing the longest comedy bit of fooling people into thinking he's a film director. "Get Out" was nowhere near a masterpiece, it was okay on the first watch. "Us" was a hilariously bad. Here with "Nope" we have a movie that's been made time and time again. And we're supposed to hand this man his flowers? Come off of it.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Marvel is releasing garbage these days
Taika is a bigot whom cares more about making himself laugh than making a coherent film. The man is a joke and should be banned from Hollywood. I'll even go further to say that Feige is a crook whom lately has been rushing out these movies with CGI that looks like it was done in 2005 and approves scripts so cheesy and lazy that I'm shocked only the VFX artists have whistleblown about their treatment on set. Surely, this puts a strain on every crew member, including the actors. They must be getting paid handsomely enough to still be able to smile during their interviews. Terrible movie and shame on Marvel for their efforts as of late. It's 2022 and a company as HUGE as Disney is releasing this kind of stuff. Let that really sink in and if you're one of those people who thinks, "oh we should be happy and not complain", then you're part of the problem because if they're able to do the bare minimum and still sell tickets, what makes you think they're not going to continue to do so?
The Black Phone (2021)
Boring waste of time.
Please no not waste your life's precious time watching this movie, I'm wasting my time writing this review to act as a sort of martyr and protect whomever is reading this so that you may save an hour and forty three minutes of your time, as I failed to do. If a film is going to lack in substance of story telling and captivation, it should make up for its soulless core in entertainment or suspense, hell, even cheap jump scares. This film lacks in all areas, therefore making it the kind of movie you begin to ask yourself halfway through, why am I watching this?
Resident Evil (2022)
Atrocious abomination.
An insult to my intelligence. A scab in the history of television. The writers are far detached from reality. As is Netflix for green lighting such a mind bogglingly bad adaptation with not even a whiff of care for RE fandom. Even without care, RE manages to not even be able to stand as something of its own. It's shockingly, excruciatingly, mind numbingly bad. It makes me question what path a person must take in life to end up with such terrible ideas. My jaw is cemented in the ground in great awe.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Overhated.
Easily one of the best in the franchise. Hated for nonsensical reasons. Well made movie. Far better than The Lost World. As far as I'm concerned the franchise goes from 1 to 3 and so forth.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Excruciating hogwash.
A painful movie that drags. I mean, really drags. Spielberg's head was far too bloated after the first film to realize what he's doing isn't interesting to anyone else but himself. Goldblum deserved better than this. Truly, a really awful film. Skip it.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Awesome.
When something receives a general consensus of praise, the expectations can be high. I went to see Maverick right in the middle. Not expecting to see a bad movie, but also not getting my hopes up to be blown away. I'm happy to say this movie meets the hype. It's just really well done. And that's saying a lot for a sequel with a 36 year gap from the original. The film delivers a fresh experience while respecting the first film. It's a good thing when a movie doesn't depend on its predecessor too heavily, while simultaneously not forgetting what made it so good in the first place. There are callbacks to the original Top Gun, but it doesn't feel forced. It feels necessary. The new cast is very Top Gun-ish. Miles Teller fits perfectly in this movie. The stunts and special effects couldn't be better. The suspense and adrenaline. The soundtrack. It's just a good time. And that's the result of hard work and care for craft. Not some lazy cash grab. Which is clearly appreciated. I wish more late sequels were this good. Anyway, it's worth hitting the theater for.
Hustle (2022)
A really good movie.
Sandler is in his element here. He's natural the entire film. There's not one awkward moment from him. Juancho Hernangomez, a real life pro ball player who plays Bo Cruz, the other star of the film, is a very good actor. The film may not do anything daring, but it doesn't need to. It's a really well made movie that's entertaining and well casted. The soundtrack is good. It's a feel good movie about redemption and never giving up. Sometimes being cliche isn't a bad thing when it's done well. I for one loved to see Sandler doing a movie like this. And the energy is just there. One last thing I'd like to add is there are cameos in this movie but they don't feel forced. There's not really any cringey dialogue, they kind of just get their few seconds of screen time in. And no, Lebron does not have a role in this movie for those wondering.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Disappointing
Villains were standing around most of the movie. Tobey was hugely wasted. Makes no sense whatsoever how he doesn't even acknowledge that the man he watched Die (Norman Osbourne) and btw his dead best friend's dad, is living before him in the flesh. No shock, no emotion. Even just for a small moment. Didn't need to take away Tom's shine at all. The director or Marvel says, hey let's give him a moment with Doc Ock! It's just really mind boggling how they go out of their way to be mediocre. This movie is just as bad as the other films of the trilogy. It's boring. It's depressing. Peter in this movie is very annoying and unbelievably naive, even for what most people will say is excusable because he's "just a kid." No one cared enough for this Aunt May to die as much as we would have cared for the Aunt May from Tobeys universe because we felt their connection. Lets be honest the relationship with Happy was weird. Happy crossed a major boundary slamming Peter's aunt. Totally uncomfortable. If anyone thinks I should be grateful because at least we see all three generations of Spidey on screen, I don't understand the logic. If I get free ice cream and it tastes like dog turd I'm not gonna be thrilled and say "hey at least it's free ice cream!" Im allowed to say what I dislike. Stop settling for mediocrity when better films have been made.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Underwhelming rubbish.
This movie is a missed opportunity. A disappointment. A failure. A joke. A wonder why one the original director could never quite make a movie as good as the first. One things for certain: This film did not care about fan service. It doesn't care about looking cool or being epic. I'm not sure what the thought process was behind this very underwhelming movie. It's just a waste of actors and potential. It's bad. It's sad and bad. A bore.
Turning Red (2022)
Disgusting trash
If I had kids I wouldn't show them this movie, it seems as though this generation is trying to change good values and make it okay to have bad ones. That's backward progress.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Horrendous.
I'm not even a die hard Star Wars fan, and I'm pissed FOR Star Wars fans. I know how bad they're hurting. How disappointed they are. Mandalorian was good. It offered hope and redemption for the franchise after Disney massively misunderstood the assignment at hand. Boba Fett was okay. Hit and miss. Mostly miss. And now we have Kenobi. A show named after the biggest name in Star Wars. Disney wouldn't possibly put this production in the wrong hands, would they? They wouldn't stoop so low as to let fans down yet again? Oh, but they have. Granted, it's just the first two episodes. But it's off to a very poor start. McGregor is terrific. No fault to him. A lot of questionable casting decisions were made. Child Leia. The Third Sister. The fake Jedi played by "comedian" Kumail Nanjani. Their involvement just isn't Star Wars. And that's not nitpicking, it just truly does not work in this universe. It takes you out of the show, it makes you cringe, it's goofy and just makes you feel like the people in charge just don't know or love Star Wars. And that's okay to think. You're not hating, you're not rejecting something new. You're just very aware. Some scenes in this show are very bad. It's like watching Power Rangers. That is not a good thing. Even for a show. Some scenes are actually cool, like the opening scene. There's just no consistency or epicness. It's just plain boring and cringe. These Star Wars shows are starting to feel goofy with the casting choices of actors who are likely fans or even ones you wouldn't expect. Like they're just throwing anyone in Star Wars. How about just picking good actors? Not ones that are gonna make us go no way, it's so and so? Just give us a good script and special effects damn it. Give us emotion, not laughs. We don't need all the "comedy". Anyway, let's hope somehow this show gets better. So far it just ruined Star Wars lore for me, they're just tampering with the story so much it feels so messy at this point. Edit: The show had a few good episodes with Vader which made up for a lot of the bad. But still, it could have been a lot better in quality.
The Office (2005)
A great show.
I have watched this show over more times than I can count on my fingers, no exaggeration. It's rewatch ability amazes me to this day. I cannot watch another show as much as I do this one and not be sick of it. The writing and acting and continuity and plot is so good. It's hilarious, you find a new joke every time. It's subtly is brilliant and all credit goes to the UK version for even existing so that this show may exist. This show has become an American classic. The entire cast is so loveable and true to their fans. Steve Carell plays his most brilliant character here. Even after he departs the show is still good with a different vibe. The writing jumps the shark just a bit in a few areas but it's overall not as bad as you'd expect with the main protagonist leaving the show. I will always love this show. It still holds up since it first aired in 2005.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Perfect movie.
A classic American family film with heart, hilariously clever jokes, adventure, and superb animation.
Scoob! (2020)
Scooby doo doo
Pile of garbage with pop culture references crammed down our throats every other scene. Sure, the kids will love it. It's cute and colorful enough. But this Scooby Doo is completely lacking in what the original Scooby Doo is all about. It's another obvious and unapologetic cash grab. Terrible voice acting as well.
The Wrong Missy (2020)
Hilarious!
Best Happy Gilmore movie in a long time. Lauren Lapkus is energetic and consistently funny throughout the movie. Most of the Sandler gang is here, minus Sandler, and they're all hilarious in this. This was really entertaining. David Spade's still got it. A lot of jokes in this one.
Black Panther (2018)
Extremely overrated.
Nothing special about this film. Might as well be watching Captain America. Really overhyped. I can't believe people actually say this movie should have won Oscars LMFAO.
A Quiet Place (2018)
Overrated
What's Jim doing out of the office? Making a copy of the film "Signs" by M. Night? I think so! This film leads you to believe it's a horror film and it isn't by any means that. It's a home movie made by John and his wife Blunt. And everyone's buying it!
Coffee & Kareem (2020)
Terrible
Ed Helms deserves better than this. Terrible script. Terrible acting. Whoever this kid is, he's a terrible actor and corny as hell. I was excited for this film, but it's a flop.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Horrendous abomination.
Shockingly bad, poorly acted, and not at all a Star Wars film. Disney tried something new here and they failed miserably. Possibly the worst casted and most depressing Star Wars picture. An unnecessary disgraceful attempt that holds no value whatsoever.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Better than most action films
The film began very exciting and the special effects are great. My one and only complaint would be that the film gets repetitive, almost like you're watching a video game of someone just shooting people over and over again with a pistol. Often with no or little flare. The film starts with some creative kills, then just totally gives up on them. It's interesting to see where the franchise is going, though. It's more stylish than most action films that's for sure.
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
A comedy for people with no sense of humor
Cheap, despicable laughs. I have no reason why this show is even mildly enjoyable to many people. It's terrible. There's so many better shows I really can't see a reason for this show to even exist.
Narcos: México (2018)
Ruined by one mistake.
This was a 10 star show... Until Quavo of the rap group "Migos" was casted. Completely unfit and unnecessary, bringing the shows credibility way down. The producers of this show may have done a little too much coke when they decided this casting was a good idea. Terrible decision. "Whip it like stir fry" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
BlacKkKlansman (2018)
Spike's a has been.
Spike oughta hang his hat and go watch a Knicks game, film isn't his forte anymore. It was clear he was a has been when he took the job of remaking "Old Boy" in 2013, an unnecessary and lazily directed remake. Spike also won't watch Django Unchained because he thinks it's racist. The guys a complete joke. You're a has been, Spike!