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John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
John Wick & the cheap cgi
Cheap CGI, fighting scenes less believable than ever, too many fights and in general a too long movie.
My last John Wick movie. Even the blind man has not an ounce of realism. John falls from high buildings, gets hit by cars, by bullets, by punches, but he doesn't even get a scratch. Police is not existing in this universe and not even the blood has any realism.
It was such a pain to watch this. Really think Hollywood is producing less and less movies worth watching. The only good thing in the movie is the hope that this now really was the last of its kind. Somehow I doubt it. If $$$ are too tempting they might just spin the plot into him being still alive.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
First great, then horrible
I loved the first 1/3. Graphically fantastic, and a slow movie with a slow plot that kept me on suspense. Loved the mix of fantasy, science fiction and a side dash at Conan the Barbarian. But as soon as our bird guy entered the ship it turned into a horrible mush.
One short scene after another with no connection, no depth, heart or soul. It felt as if they realized they run out of time/space, but had still soooo much to tell. So everything was shortened until all depth was gone.
Also, the story is on rather weak legs. Cinematography top notch though.
If you like a good picture over a good book you can stare 2h at beautiful scenes. Just don't forget to mute after 1/3.
I for one will skip the next part of this. If I want shallow entertainment, then Hollywood has plenty else of it nowadays.
Blue Beetle (2023)
Worst title of the year!
Found it! The one that deserves the award of worst movie of the year.
And how horrible this piece of trash is. The characters are all unlikable and I had high hopes for the villains to wipe them out. Sadly that was not the case.
The movie tries so hard to be funny that it really isn't. There wasn't once a moment that made me laugh. There were plenty of moments that made me want to fall unconscious though.
The heroes are depicted as a hillbilly family of Cubans that aren't fit to live in this world and fulfill every cliché there is about them. Now, I like clichés and think we should be more often made to laugh about them. But this movie is made so bad that it feels almost like a personal vendetta to display Cubans in the worst kind of light of whoever had the reigns in creating this garbage.
It's disgusting. And I never thought you'd hear me say that about some good humor. Just... it isn't good humor.
The main actor tries to be good and not kill in such a surreal way, that - rightfully so - a lot of people, including his father have to die because of it. The mass murderer of a villain of course switches sides in the end just in time for the escape. He had not an inch of doubt of brutally murdering anyone in his way but then grew in no time at all a conscience?
Aside from the horrible character development there's also more plot-holes than a swiss cheese could ever have holes. I'd say 4-5 plot holes per minute is the average in this movie. Which must be a new record.
Even in the end. The uncle just flew them all out with a spaceship that was pretty much just lying around but complains about having lost everything. To be then super stoked about a car. Dude, what? You just flew a spaceship. And nobody wanted or touched it for like...ever!?!
The main character as well. Got super hero powers, probably immortality too, but wants it all to stop? Sure buddy... you're mortified about all that power and possibilities. Like flying is such a horrible thing. And by the way, you have 0 downsides to it all. But you hate it? Uff... painful to watch. Just. Painful.
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
Utter trash
Watching this movie made me think that the writers don't even try anymore to create a somewhat coherent story.
The amount of plot holes is simply staggering to the point of bizarre. Nothing makes sense and whoever wrote this piece must have had nothing but disbelief for any semblance of intelligence in its viewers.
I can't fathom how else this work of madness could ever had been born to see the light of day.
There's trash and then there's Meg 2. Probably needs a new category all by itself. It's not a b-movie. It's simply trash.
Diving at the bottom of the Mariana trench without a pressure suit? Hey, why not. This movie finds a - medically not at all sound - way to do it.
But there's so much more. And that's sad, because the actors performances aren't actually that bad. The CGI is for the most part well done and the story-line at least has a red line to follow.
With a bit more care this could have been something. Instead it's a piece that best if forgotten and left untouched.
Harlan Coben's Shelter (2023)
Unrealistic, bland, bad
My goodness is this bad. The actors don't even try to behave like normal human beings, they are for the most part super weird. Things don't make any sense, there's 0 suspension. It's just really strange and boring, that is all.
First comes the lady that ignores a fire in the kitchen, even though she just would need to move the pan quickly. Then the nerd shows up and becomes immediately super touchy on every step of the way with basically a stranger AND starts to make sexual innuendo all the time. But our main character just keeps on his half druggy smile. Real emotions seem to be a foreign word to him. Then we meet the girl that also never met our main character, but for some reason she looks at him as if in love right from the bat. And he reacts the same way. Two sentences in they behave like a couple being together since ages???
I mean, who wrote this??? Also just because a stranger tells our main character "your dad is alive!" He goes bonkers? And the police shows up after he shouts in front of her house since..... 30 seconds?
I have no idea how anyone can like this series, it's probably the worst movie experience I had in this year.
Fear the Walking Dead (2015)
Divisions
Everything that is wrong with Americans nowadays is neatly reflected in this series.
It's a celebration of egoism, no matter the cost. Watching this, my only hope was that all the main characters die before they can do any more damage.
Their actions cause hundreds or thousands to die. They torture, kidnap, mutilate, blackmail and aren't even thinking twice to unleash hordes of undead that kill others, just so they can satisfy their paranoia.
It's painful to watch. I wish I could say it's unrealistic, but it reflects the US society pretty well. Still, that one is painful to watch as well.
So realism is in this case not helpful. Wish Hollywood would try to bring a bit more cooperation into movies, like other studios around the world. That would be relaxing to watch for once.
First Kill (2022)
Not that great
Looking at all the 10 star reviews makes me wonder how many bots are reviewing this title. Way to many accounts with just 1 review, created this month. Somethings fishy.
Plus, this really isn't that great. Not that horrible either. Just quite a bit boring. And the actors are cringe. No chemistry. I don't mind the love stories, but.... is there anything else, anything with substance? Also, the bad background music is to cheesy and to much.
Had a hard time to watch the first episode. Maybe it gets better later in the series, but I don't think I can force myself to watch that far.
Van Helsing (2016)
So many plot holes
So humans become vampires. But as vampires they aren't zombies, they can still function. On a more primal level, but still. And some seem to be even highly capable.
So why can't they grab a gun and shoot the flimsy 4 UV lights in front of the base? Or plant some C4 to open the door while we're at it?
And oh hey, there's the lady whose blood cures the whole vampire thingy, but seems not to be utterly important to look a bit into that right away?
Actors and filming is decent, but the plot holes and the constant fighting between supposed allies - which unfortunately seems to be a norm in todays movies - makes it a very hard watch.
Couldn't make it to even the end of season 1. To painful.
Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021)
Boring
Weird story that makes no sense at all. Everywhere they go magically zombies pop up. Dialogs are lame, graphics not the best and in general I didn't care if they lived or not.
Avoid. It's probably good as background noise if you like to sleep in while watching TV.
Mayor Grom. Chumnoy Doktor (2021)
Loved it
Now that was a surprise. A very pleasant one. From Russia. And I have to say it blows most Hollywood movies of similar topics right out of the water.
It's quite refreshing, has good humor, good actors, personas and some surprising camera work & techniques.
I'm mostly bored of anything kinda superhero nowadays as they are all the same, but this one is a breath of fresh air. More please!
Fate: The Winx Saga (2021)
Mixed bag of entertainment
So, this is basically a Harry Potter twist. And it doesn't really tries to hide that.
That's fine. Actors are decent, action is plenty, dialogs fine. It's the right mix to not be a chore. Unfortunately it suffers from the same fate that befalls a lot of teenage dramas nowadays.
The main actress is behaving stupid and irrational and endangers recklessly everyone. Watching the show, you basically just hope that she dies. There's no love for her character, really none. Add to that plenty of feminism and constant anti-sexism thrown into the viewers face and you get bored fast.
Does this need another season? Not really. It's just mildly entertaining garbage that has plenty of similar but better siblings out there.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
To emotional
I'm a huge Star Trek fan, pretty much since the beginning. Star Trek Discovery marks for me a low point in the series. Not because it's darker than any other Star Trek before, but because it's filled with overemotional characters and a focus on one Person.
Past series didn't have such a strong focus on one main character like Discovery has. Michael Burnham is the culprit. She also seems to be the most emotional character, breaking down whenever she has an opportunity for it, acting reckless and saving the day every day. Alone.
Star Trek brought with Uhura a black woman on TV when nobody else did. And a Russian, at the height of the cold war. Star Trek has nothing to prove. Unfortunately the focus seems to be not on Teamwork, Science, Discovery and humanity at it's best, but about proving the point that Burnham can do it all alone in an ego trip.
Completely ruins the show and fun. And that's sad. The graphics and CGI is phenomenal. Stunning details, stunning camera work. It's a masterpiece when it comes to the work of the artists - even if the Klingon look is up for debate.
But the rest is garbage and might be a telltale sign of the times and that Star Trek is just done for. I guess the wrong people are leading it, and so I went back to watch the best Star Trek, the first and original one on Netflix. My god is it good. The acting, the humor, just everything. The entertainment is amazing, and political correctness nowhere to be seen.
I strongly recommend Captain Kirk over this piece of garbage.
Even in the most heated action- and battle sequences, the actor always find time to share their love, passion, forgiveness, sadness, doubts and on and on and one. At this point I'm just waiting till they break out into song and we've got Disney in space.
It's annoying. It's to much. It feels as if the creators told themselves: "We've got to go with the times. We need a strong black woman as main character, lots of gays & lesbians (nothing wrong with it, but why the focus?) and we need to focus on them and their problems. Fill it with emotional heartbroken moments, whenever you can!"
Sorry Star Trek, but you lost me on this one. There's enough series out there that are emotional and made for main stream. This is unnecessary, over the top, and you lost me on this one. Most likely for good.
Edit: Didn't watch Season 3 and onwards. Cant deal with more of that crap
Black Summer (2019)
Garbage
Wow, this went downhill fast. From 5 to 3 to 1 to 3 stars the more I watched, the worse it got. And then a little better. Actors are fine, budget is fine, but I still wait on the moment where everyone dies. Because that's what you hope for. That's how stupid everyone acts.
This is not a "we vs zombies" show, this is a "humans vs humans" show with a few zombies as a side dish. Everyone is overly aggressive and ridiculously stupid.
There's hardly a minute passing without some really grave and bad movie mistakes, so bad, that you just want to shut it off.
Not recommended at all. And I love zombie series. Only if desperate.
Zoo (2015)
Horribly inacurate
Camera, acting, story in general is all fine. But the details in the story are just so bad, it literally hurts to watch the show.
Wolves storm a prison and kill everyone there. Of course no guard has any weapon or martial arts training it seems. And there's just the main gate it seems.
Or Bats just decide to fly to Antarctica. Never mind that they would die and freeze to that for starters. What are they doing up there? They block some solar panels of a science station. That in turn shuts the heating and energy of that station immediately off. Wonder what those poor scientists would be doing every night, cause obviously they have no batteries that keep the heating on as soon as there's no sunlight on the panels. Or during long storms. Well, it did make me shut off too. The TV that is. Just way to painful.
Jason Bourne (2016)
Shaky cam
Okay, let me first get this out of the way: The movie itself is alright. A decent action movie with a plot that could be more shallow. It is nowhere close to the first movies, but I enjoyed the plot, characters and the story.
What makes me not want to see this movie ever again was the shaky camera though. I think there are about 30 seconds in the whole movie where the camera isn't shaking. Even close up shots of a person speaking in a quiet scene has movement.
Showing a map? Camera needs to shake! Building a gun together? Great time to shake that camera! Conversation between two people? Better shake some more and show 30 angles in 3 seconds.
Seriously, video stabilization was invented for a reason. I was close to leaving the movie and I caught myself wishing the movie would swap for "No country for old man".
Michael Bay is an amateur compared to whoever is responsible for that mess. I like to watch movies and relax, but that movie was work and pure stress.
The most quiet moments were presented from ever switching angles and with shake. That's okay in action scenes to hide & disguise cheap effects, but IT IS NOT A FEATURE! If you want to get motion sickness by watching a movie, that one might do the trick.
Collateral (2004)
Wow was that bad...
Sorry, but how can this movie get so many positive reviews? I could not watch it till the end. And I tried. I tried on two different days.
It's just horrible. It feels like a very cheap B-movie with horrible acting. The camera is bad, the acting is bad, the voices are bad and so often hard to understand that I had to watch it with subtitles on.
The story is bland and full of holes, but in my eyes that's probably the best on the movie.
It feels very very cheap made. I have no idea how much the budget was, but I'm pretty sure 90% of it went into hiring Tom Cruise.
There are many B-movies that are much better than this one. Only watch if you're really desperate.
Act of Valor (2012)
Realistic !
I did watch the movie because a friend recommended it. I'm usually very careful with action movies of this sort because they are often very shallow and unrealistic.
But this movie blew me away! It is very realistic. You don't think every second minute "What? Why they did this, this is idiotic" or "Yes sure, you run out without cover and you kill 10 guys".
You have the feeling that you watch a team of Seals directly over the shoulder and I absolutely enjoyed every single minute of it.
The film does not everything, there is no great acting or humor or love in it (thank god that the last two are missing). You have not many dialogs either.
But what it stands for and what it shows you - action & tactics - it does brilliant. This movie tries not to be for everyone, and I think that's the reason why it stands out and why it gets 10 stars from me.