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wahlers83
Reviews
Where the Scary Things Are (2022)
Hot garbage
Not a single likable character in this entire film. The female lead is by far the worst. It's not only her acting but the character itself. I can't imagine anybody wanting to hang out with this girl no matter how bad they want her. Especially to the point of letting her feed people to the creature just on the off chance that they might get out of the friend zone... The whole premise of this film is stupid. It's 94 minutes. I will never get back.
The only saving grace from this film is that they all died in the end... except for the one kid who decided to be nice and give the creature water... So I suppose he is the good guy? Although he's just as unlikable as everybody else. Don't waste your time.
Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014)
All cheese and I kinda like it
We all knew what we signed up for when we put this on... and we got every bit of it. Poor effects, fake blood and even worse acting. The acting is so poor by everyone in this film that it makes Roddy Piper's performance look Oscar worthy. Then there's the plot... A wrestler dies in the ring and is then summoned back by his brother to then summon zombies that may not be zombies because yes they do eat people but they also fight them and do wrestling moves so zombie wrestlers? IDK... Like I said we got every bit of what we were looking for. IMO It's worth the watch if not just to see Roddy Piper again.
Purple Hearts (2022)
Veteran here...
This is like a bad hallmark movie... As a veteran myself and someone who reviews veteran's military discharges everyday I can 100% tell you that the main character would not get a bad conduct discharge for this. He is married. It doesn't matter what his intentions were, as long as he is married he is entitled to the benefits that come with it and so is she. The idea that this movie even exists bothers me to no end. Completely inaccurate on multiple levels.
The Green Knight (2021)
What's real?
A solid opening but then it quickly turned into a confusing acid trip.
What's real and what isn't? It seems like he just walks around in this dream world like it's no big deal that he has had a run in with an angry Jolly Green Knight, a ghost, giants, nymphos and a talking fox...
Where did the dude who stole his axe go? The axe was mysteriously left at the house of the ghost woman just for him to find it after his amazingly easy "quest" to find her skull. It was was too decomposed to be the thief to have killed her... also "The Green Knight is someone you know" oh yeah? Who? Because it's never revealed...
Then... instead of being utterly surprised that bald naked giants exist, he simply asks for a ride and then gave up on it when his fox howled at them. Then there's the rich nymphos in the woods... Why? What was any of it about? Everyone seems to know more about his quest then the main character himself... including the fox which I can only assume is his mother... a witch... who brought the Green Knight to him in the first place... again why? He already got invited to the kings side since he was the only living heir. So setting this up will only get her son killed... Is she the Green Knight? Or did she only summon him? Ugh. Pointless to even think about...
But good news! Because he chickened out and didn't get his head chopped off and instead ran away from the Green Knight he became king himself!!!!! Wow. What a load of feces... just like the ones thrown at him at the end of the film after his string of bad luck... but wait that was only a dream (insert eye rolling emoji). He died anyways in the end. 2 hours of my life gone. What fun! Well I just lowered my review another star after writing this...
The Batman (2022)
Love the Robin teaser
I dug the different take on Batman. All the characters are obviously just starting out and beginning to find themselves. Paul Dano was awesome as a psychotic Riddler and I love Colin Ferrell as the Penguin. If I had any criticism it would be Pattinson Bruce Wayne... Weird and very emo... but again I think this is a great starting point for the new franchise. I like how the characters aren't rushed and have time to become the Batman and Catwoman we know and love.
Spoiler: It's cool to see Jay Lycurgo pop up in this as a conflicted gang member on the train. He plays Tim Drake in Titans and one could only assume he will pop up in the sequels... also is it just me or does one of the drawings of Batman on the wall look remarkably like Michael Keatons Batman?
Madea's Family Reunion (2006)
Funny but...
Am I the only one who had a problem with Uncle Joe sexually harassing his niece at the family reunion? I mean it literally took place after Lisa Arrindell's Vanessa tells her sister that she was raped by her father and that her mother set the whole thing up for inheritance. Does Tyler Perry want us to condemn one and laugh at the other? This really took away any impact that scene was supposed to have on the audience.
Outside of this the movie was enjoyable enough. Madea shines as always. Funny with a lot of heart.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
Confused
How did the father know the deputy and why didn't the deputy know the kid when he saw him in the tower? Additionally why wasn't the deputy at all upset when he saw the father dead in the car? What was the incriminating evidence that sent these hitmen to kill the boy and his father? Why couldn't we see what it was? What was with the Tyler Perry cameo? Did it bring anything to the movie? Also why are these bad guys are ok with killing a whole family but suddenly not ok with killing a pregnant woman (who btw is the real hero of this story)? This movie could've been so much better... especially with all the famous actors in it.
The Great War (2019)
No heart
It seems like the actors in this film were just reading their lines, there wasn't any heart or feeling behind their words.
Medal of Honor (2018)
Can I give this 11 stars?
Simply amazing. If Netflix doesn't give this a season 2 they are wrong. We need more stories of these American heroes.