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Su Qi-er (2010)
45 minute epilogue
The conflict of the story and villain are finished around half of the movie.
And we're left with a 45 minute epilogue with annoying child wailings.
Looked it up since I was recommended the fight scenes, first ones not bad, but nowadays seen better. The drunk ones were more boring than expected. (in part because at that point I couldn't care less about the movie and the boring random empty slates of foreign fighters introduced at the end)
You can't expect to put the climax of your story in the middle and then expect people be interested in the now rock bottom main character beat up random characters who have no semblance of personality nor any ties to the main plot or story whatsoever.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Great puppet and location design but very lacking script
I watched it with a couple of friends. The moment it showed and focused in the beginning with the lil sister and her drawing and showing all her drawings in her room I just thought "her drawing is gonna save the day isn't it....". To me that, the way the animatronics squinted their eyes reminding me of Fry, and the friendship happy silly moment in the middle kinda ruined it for me lol. I couldn't take it seriously and the issue is that the movie was trying to be very serious even tho it had those details and moments, so I kept saying "what is this? What is happening???" in disbelief.
The animatronics and set designs were awesome, and I get it's target audience are the young teens that like the lore (even tho it still doesn't it follow it, it's more like "inspired by it").
To me as a not big fnaf fan but I know the games and lore, but love movies and horror, I think a good fnaf movie should have either gone with two options
- Make it an isolation situation movie, like Panic Room, or Alien,... where the main character(s) would be trapped in a place with these entities and their only way to see them or track them would be through cameras or motion sensors etc. While this entities roam and hunt them from the dark and corners. Focusing on the MOOD, to recreate that sensation the games give of knowing they are coming but don't know from where and the resources demishing.
- The other option would have needed to be really ballsy and go clear with the trilogy idea, and just make the real lore in movie format. And start the first movie with the killings and end it with the animatronics coming to life and have the second one focus on them and the third one with the box trap and the fire. Because all the killings of the kids and kidnappings and backstabbing has already a lot of horror and story to tell. Instead they "showed it all" in the opening credits through the nes pixel graphics.
But if you wanna target the young fans too you probably wont be too horror and not have much violence... so... So I dunno, it was fine, not for me. At least it seemed to have a lil more care and passion than just being a "I clapped when I saw it" cashgrab. But the script was lacking.
Psycho: The Lost Tapes of Ed Gein (2023)
Waste of time
There are barely 10 questions heard from this said "tapes".
And they are the bad interrogation kind.
Investigator: "so you did this and that and such"
Ed: yeah... I guess
Investigator: And how did you feel when doing so. Did you feel this way and that, right?
Ed: yeah.
LET THE CRIMINALS EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.
How are we supposed to understand and get anything from their rotted brains if you just keep asking with the answers you want to get, just for them to give you a YES OR NO.
Useless investigators that don't get how conversations work shouldn't be doing the questioning.
If you just ask with an answer you're just putting the answer in their head and they will give you just that.
In this 2 EPISODES you don't get ANYTHING from Ed. You don't discover anything new. Everything is said by the "investigator" and all the guests which take part of most of the runtime.
And everything said has already been told and speculated a million times.
I don't know what was the point of any of this.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Third act makes it a waste of time.
When the trailer came out people were impressed by the nice touch and decision of making a trailer without dialogue. I had a bad feeling.
The movie has no dialogue. (Strike maybe?)
I was a lil excited since Grey Aliens were a childhood fear for me and still give me the creeps when done well.
It's not done well here. Being upfront.
I had hopes, but I know no one wants to do a serious real feeling just Alien invasion/abduction movie. (all of them need to have some trauma or drama message or secondary plot going on, *cough*like a murdered lil girl by a pedo uncle*cough*)
To me the most scary thing about Greys is that they are close to a force of nature, they leave their "victims" powerless, from most told ""encounters"" people seem to not be able to move, etc.
Here it works in some ways, in other's it feels like you're watching YOU ARE NEXT but with aliens instead of masked intruders.
That's how far the "alien intrusion" goes.
Because then it's repeating some chases that end up taking you to a final act that's a mess.
Half way in the movie I was already seeing all the flaws, and not gonna lie, I was EVEN expecting CLOVERFIELD to pop up any second from how bad it was going. I knew there were aliens in the Cloverfield universe and there were rumors of another entry, so I was like "oh god is this gonna be it?"
Nope. Let's dance away.
Aliens finally get girl,
they see girl has trauma,
"eh, she ain't half bad",
release her to let her live with all the pod people.
I want to think that after killing multiple of their species and also seeing she's been a murderous lunatic since birth, they don't want to have to deal with her anymore and just leave her there with her lunatic ways.
Why would the Pod people adapt to HER lifestyle and please her?
She killed 1 girl in human world and got exiled from her community.
She kills like 4 aliens in "alien world", would have been funny if now the aliens also exiled her. The galactic pariah. No one wants you in this universe. Now that's a message.
2 out of 5 for tiny monkey alien that made me laugh with its antics.
Chugyeokja (2008)
Bleakness, coincidences and a lot of stupidity
Another "suspenseful" korean thriller, that I guess tries to follow the bleakness of its predecessors or hollywood movies like Seven.
It's a shame because it's well made and based on a real case, but that to get the bleakness from it, the writers relay on chance and "what a coincidence" is just the most awful writing sin you can find in scripts.
The girl once free, calls her boss and instead of saying where she is and asking for more help she uses her energy to say she quits. When she's still not out of danger.
And the typical "oh the most important call isn't heard and the character doesn't pick up the phone" cliche mixed in the same scene with "the guards needed just happen to be asleep in a car" like.... how is people scoring this with 10's is beyond me.
It's the cheapest sign that you don't know how to write when to create an impactful scene or key moment for your story you rely on chance or coincidence. Awful.
And the saddest part is that I knew it was going to happen before the half of the movie, I could see how they would have the killer released, then finish off the girl to have the oh so traumatized mc face him one last time, to either get revenge and become a monster or get killed, or not even have the chance and stay like a sore loser.
And I'm using my review to just talk about the main problem with this movie, I'm not gonna spend the same time to talk how you have your usual stupid characters, useless police and detectives that know this facts
- missing girls cars are left in A street
- the suspect is driving a stolen car which MISSING owners lived around A street
- the suspect was caught in A street
also police : WHERE COULD THE BODIES OR HIS HOUSE BE?
Are you freaking kidding me now?
Is this actually a comedy?
WHO WROTE THIS?!
We Go On (2016)
Half good half bad.
Screeching ghosts aren't scary, they are annoying.
With how much the dead guy liked to talk in the beginning he could have explained he was killed and wanted revenge and would have saved the mc and the audience that last half of the movie.
Broil (2020)
Dinner with some blood and so-so flavour, but a lot of loud music
The movie is alright, didn't enjoy the out of order scenes, you didn't need them that way to enjoy the movie, just made it more tedious.
The family drama and back and forth backstabbing was interesting.
Could have gotten more elaborated but eh.
Now, the unforgiving aspect of the movie is the LOUD music. I watched this to chill with a migraine, and just made it worse. If you lower the sound to not be murdered by the loud music you won't hear the characters at all, you barely even hear some sentences. Why the loud music seriously? It's so annoying and ruins your scenes.
Scare Package (2019)
Ups and downs
The problems with anthologies is that one is as bad as it's worst short story. If your worst story is good enough, you're probably into a good anthology.
But this is not the case. I enjoyed the first one although I expected a lil more. The goo one I found it the most funny, even made me lol, which is weird in me, but I like horror comedy and silly gore when done right. The last story was entertaining at parts, at other's a lil cringey. The midle stories were avarage hit or miss.
So even if I give it a 4 for it's worse stories, I'd recommend it if you feel like watching a really silly horror movie, with some good and some bleh stories, with some meta commentary about horror and jokes about it but expect silly acting, lines, expressions and gratuitous gore (which isn't that bad).
À l'intérieur (2007)
An abundant amount of blood and stupid decisions
Intruder horror movies are a guilty masochistic pleasure because they are the kind of horror that terrifies me since it can be pretty real sometimes.
But in this case we're faced again with poorly written characters and delusional overpowered villain who when half her face gets BBQ'd and runs away her screams get muted just leaving the kitchen. I'm sorry, but if you're all in a steamy crispy pain you're gonna be screaming for a good while unless you're dead.
I usually rant a lot more on my reviews, but I just can't, it left me so tired.
If you're the kind of viewer that cringes in their seat at characters making the stupidest choice or not reacting in a more real felt manner, skip this one.
If you like gore for gore's sake, give it a go, but you can find nice gore in at least more entertaining movies... At least some where they know they have stupid characters.
There are many of those decisions and the most blatant to me, with multiple visits at the home by family, co-workers and 3 freaking cops, not once the lead screams for help, not even by any window. so... yeah. I don't get the score it has.
Spoorloos (1988)
Another one with questionable hype
I had it for a long time on my watchlist and finally decided to watch it after some recommendation talking about the disturbing ending that shocked them the most in horror movies.
Reading so many reviews about the horror and having this movie stick with you after the end.... Seriously?
To me it just felt like a horror-comedy. The terrible dialogue, the failed attempts of kidnapping from the villain ( ala Loony Toones style where the Coyote screws up and gets his own medicine. Just needed the guy to get a sign with WHOOPS written on it), later scenes of the villain and the mc making jokes and laughing together? And the main character listening to all the narration like nothing. They are all comedic scenes that just put you outside the sad/mysety mood the first minutes put you through.
We've all been at that point while watching a horror movie where we think that the main cast are taking a dumb decision or walk down the dark basement where a noise is heard, alone, without a light, or when they stay at a obvious haunted mansion. We all have asked "why don't they call the cops?", "just turn around and leave".
Most people praising the film ask "how far would you go to find the truth/for the one you love"
You should ask "Would you put yourself in the hands of Jigsaw? Leatherface? Freddy? Hannibal Lecter?"
3/10 as Thriller/Mystery (which is sold as)
7.5/10 as Horror-comedy
The Vault (2017)
Interesting concept, horrible movie
What the hell is wrong with this characters. I swear I don't get how this got finished the way it is. My only theory would be they'd get drunk after each take and next week continue without any idea what they were doing.
A character finds a team member down the basement on a chair with injuries and drill his own head. He goes up comments "X is dead" (dead?? that's what you tell your sister? the guy drilled his own freaking head, WHAT??) and goes down again to continue working. WHAT THE HELL is wrong with these people??? Another team member dissapears after being closed in a room with hostages and there's zero reaction nor concern, everyone just keeps going with their own thing.
It's beyond me how this stuff gets done and how anyone can think this is watchable in any sense.
If you like bad writting, horrible edits (scenes of characters interacting with eachother without you knowing where they are, which ovviously shows they were takes done with each actor alone in other days or whatever), boring villains, (the dead robber makes sense that's evil, but why are the dead hostages working with whom killed them???????), stupid characters and situations watch it.
But trust me, spend your time with something else.
Savaged (2013)
Nicely surprised, an original twist on revenge subgenre
I've watched a ton of revenge movies, the good and the bad. Because there's something satisfying from seeing someone abused and tortured turn the tables and become scarier, more menacing and deadlier than the horrible evil doers.
One thing that most share is that the survivor survives the close-death encounter and attack, they get their revenge and end up walking on a road to the sunset.
But in this one the victim has a twist with paranormal and possesion ingredients. And the end is bittersweet, but you enjoy it for it's fresh view.
The gore and deaths are preetty good. There are a couple small weird cgi moments but they aren't that noticeable nor bother.
I persobally loved the mix of revenge+paranormal. So if you're into that give it a go.
Flight 7500 (2014)
Spooks on a plane?
Besides reading some reviews here. I wanted to give it a chance. I was in a B movie kind of mood anyway.
But what a waste of time and opportunity.
I'm just going to say, if you're going to pull the "Gasp we were all dead all along" cliche trope. At least use it well and leave clues or play with it so at least the viewer has something to think about. Learn from The Sixth Sense, The Others,...
But instead we're left with random scares that have no meaning, are random and make it seem like there's something to it when in reality there's nothing. They are just dead and tripping.
I was open to give it a chance. But not if you play that card on me for nothing. Just makes the viewer feel like they wasted their time.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Waiter? There's a toe in my stew.
First, the elephant in the room. Yes tje trailer made it feel like it would be a lot scarier and dark. Yes the trailer shows every creature ruining any surprise. But we know how trailers are... Can't judge the movie for that.
I sadly fell a little into those expectations. Harold ends with transformation instead of skinning, The big Toe ends with pulling under bed, White Woman ends with... merging?
Ok so I know that the stories are short and could be difficult to portrait. But they could have used them better. They had tons of stories, why change one (White woman) and create a new creature when you have so much material?
BUT, now the "pros"
Like the books, this movie is intended like an introduction to horror with creepy creatures, which props to them for using practical effects and portraying them so well!, so I think this movie would have worked great for october to take the kids watch it for the mood. Now that I'm +30 sure I can see things that fail or could be better, but I know that in my childhood and starting fascination with monsters and creepy stuff I'd have LOVED this movie.
I Trapped the Devil (2019)
Standing around: The Movie
I had a lil of hope for this since the concept was interesting. But oh boy oh boy. I'm all for slow burns or dialogue focused movies, I loved A Dark Song and Sleuth. But this doesn't deliver anything. Just characters sitting, characters walking down stairs, characters hugging, characters saying some nonesense for a couple of seconds before going silent and roaming around again. Could perfectly been a nice short. But with the ambition of making it a full film it just ends up filled with wasted time that gives no purpose. You don't need one hour of characters doing nothing to set the mood. I wanted it to be a good movie, but fails in many aspects. Wouldn't recommend.
Brightburn (2019)
Really a 6 but...
Like we all know, this is just a "What if Superman was psycho". There's absolutely nothing else to it.
If you just want to see how that would play out, you may be at least a lil entertained. But be warned, it takes it's time. And don't expect any twist, it's as predictable as it gets.
cons: writing, decisions, pacing and the reason for the kid to become evil is that the ship that was stored for some reason near the house told him to.
pros: the father and uncle acting was the best. You want to support the father and slap the mother.
+1 point for the uncle "no, nope, NO" scene.
The Prodigy (2019)
Forgeteable pile of cliches
If you've seen The Orphan or Case 39 you've seen better than this. If not go see them instead of this.
Possesed kid goes killing, no one stops him. The end. There's really nothing more, the movie spoon feeds you all the secret at the beginning of the movie, so you're left waiting to see if the adults will be able to kick a 8yo on the face. There's no real tension, you just want someone to punch that killer kid. But of course we can kill a dog but not a kid.
was gonna give it a 3, giving it 1 for killing the dog which was a border collie like mine.
Waste of time.
Await Further Instructions (2018)
TV will consume you.
The living room is only iluminated by the TV screen, the screen breaks to reveal its insides while the faces of Nick and Anjii watch terrified iluminated by the screen tjat just broke. Wait, what?
Then another shot of the broken tv with tubes out is iluminated by that same light coming from the other side???
Wellp. yep. I know filming dark scenes are always tricky, but damn... you spend so much time using that lighting that when the tv breaks and theres is still that same light it's too obvious...
so yeah, mostly wanted to write this because I was gesturing at the movie like what the hell??
Movie has good concepts and ideas that get ruined by horrible characters and an absurd ending.
Can we stop having films of people trapped where theres always some irritant characters acting against all freaking logic, and for a change, have a team of people who actually work together to survive? Which could have made this movie a lil more interesting and less frustrating?
I give it 4 for those things and because now I have migraine.
PS: the only pro is to see Walder Frey die again. The north remembers.
Even Lambs Have Teeth (2015)
Tamest revenge movie ever.
This movie follows the revenge formula but without the shock, without the transition from inocent victim to furious predator, without the gore.
It starts with an useless intro that has nothing to do with the movie.
The main characters are unlickable.
The dialogues are stupid.
The acting so-so towards bad.
I don't like prolongued torture/rape scenes, but in this genre you need some shock to sympathise with the victim, to root for their decision to be bruthal with jer abusers.
Here everything is off camera.
Same with the kills towards the abusers. Everything of camera.
And the worst is that when they escape they go from crying victims to cheerful joyful revengers cracking jokes with whichother.
Where's the furious rage? The payoff?
And the uncle plays a useless TAKEN role of paranoid fbi agent that notices they may be in danger and ends up tied to a chair with a thin cord.
And in one scene they drive besides other cars draging the towns priest chained to the car. And no one notices.
Honestly, don't waste your time with this movie.
Overlord (2018)
Frankenstein's Army whatered down.
Let's be honest. What all of us expected when going in this movie was for nazi mutant experiments vs us army action.
That action is just a random prisoner that gets free and chases acting weird to be killed. And the main antagonist we've seen for most of the movie. That's it. The rest of the mutated soldiers are freed at the end just to blow up with the final bomb. They don't even get to do anything besides appear walking for a few seconds.
The rest of the movie is just an annoying and useless plot with a random french woman and her lil brother that gets kidnapped by the bad nazy boss to screw the us soldiers and the woman.
I expected so much more. But seems like they only had funds for makeup and practical effects for those 2 baddies.
Overall, I find it a waste of potential and time for what it promissed.
As another user said, this is exactly like Frankenstein's Army, but with less army and more woman and lil brother.
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
If you hurt art, art will hurt you back.
I dived in with an open and curious mind and I've been entertained and had a good time.
It's an eerie story regarding some art pieces that shouldn't have been taken.
Whose the perfect victim for a cursed object that kills whoever profits by greed from it?
Greedy profesionals from the "chic" art-gallery bussiness.
An artist pours their experience, soul, emotions and illusion into a piece, and when all that is just treated for the "chic" and "popular" value and exploited, without any apreciation on all that's behind, something's wrong.
We see that in different moments from artists that suffer the consequences of these greedy profesionals that don't care about the artist, just about that sweet dolla, and their own reputation and ego.
In a world driven by this kind of behaviour. It's the own art's responsability to put an end to them.
I can clearly see the message Dan Gilroy was transmitting and I loved it and applaud him for it as an artist myself. Thank you.
PD: I read some people saying that the characters don't feel true. And oh my sweet summer children, stay in that place of ignorance, because those kind of people really exist in the "chic" art-exhibit and fashion world. And they are as obnoxious (OR EVEN MORE) as the ones portrayed so well by this great cast of actors.
Last Shift (2014)
Acting good, plot and direction not so much.
To put it briefly, this is like Room 1408 buy in a haunted police station.
Just a lot worse written. Have the character just going from room to room, repesting some of the scares, many calls. With the character only trying to leave twice, one she leaves but goes back to answer the phone. Why? You're out, and you know stuff is happening but I guess listening to the same girl saying the same stuff over and over is important?
Second time she leaves that door wont open. so instead of shooting at the glass she goes back inside for more spooky exposition and same trio making faces and singing.
Not even bothering to try the back door.
So we have the spooky trio ghosts that are evil. But why is the police ghost also evil????
On room 1408 the character does whatever he thinks to try get out of the room.
Here in a whole police station she just goes from room to room to show more jumpscares.
As a short I could have seen this working. Novice cop alone at haunted police station is tortured by cultists ghosts making her go insane. the end.
There's no arch no nothing. Nothing matters. Why should I care and cheer for a character that doesn't show any interest or motivation to survive and just serves as a scream girl to be lured from room to room for the next scare.
Giving 2 stars for the main actress, even with what she had she did a good job. The rest, dissapointment.
Ava's Possessions (2015)
Great concept, bad execution.
Other reviews already mention the unnecesary subplots.
For me if they just stuck more to the world that a demon possession could offer would have been much much better.
Instead of the unnecesary art gallery guy that ends up out of the story, have her having conversations with her demon.
Instead of a serial killer subplot, have her discover or visit the cult that adores the demon that possessed her and show how they would treat her as a chosen one or messiah or something.
There were many many interesting situations to explore but goes with subplots that don't have anything to do with the act of being possesed.
Those just made feel the movie too long.
A shame since the idea was awesome.
Ruin Me (2017)
Waste of time.
It started like what could have been a somewhat entertaining movie, an escape room experience as a slasher sleepaway camp. But when characters start to "die" off camera it goes from average movie to awful pretty fast. The acting is bad, cliche characters, most choices are dumb, interactions are awkward, basically making you want to stop wasting time on this.
The jealous evil boyfrienf ending is so bad. You spend all the movie seeing fake stuff to end with that awful ending that has nothing to do with the whole movie besides a single scene.
Also as a side note, being in a polygami relationship doesn't make you want to have sex with whatever breaths.
Tragedy Girls (2017)
The birth of 2 horror movie villains.
It's not a 10 movie, not even an 8, the humor resides on the killings and probably with the parents oblivious reactions. Problem is there could be more killings and more humor on other places.
A nice twist would have been that they kept their separate ways and fought for likes/popularity.
Also, people are completely missing the point here, complaining about that the movie ends well for the killers, that they are treated as heroes...
You are watching a slasher movie from the point of the bad "guys". They are not glorifying them or asking you to like them, they are constantly showing you what a pair of brats and irritating teens they are with their constant "hashtagblessed" bullying others. Everyone knows they are insufrable just look at the teachers' and classmates' faces.
You are watching the killers from a horror movie fulfilling their birth as legend horror movie killers.
And we all know the good guys not always win.