CAL_FORD Reviews

Twin Peaks (2017)

So bad it instantly destroys Lynch's previous works.

[1/10 · 22 May 2017]

I'll make a long story short. This ridiculous joke of a come back is a disaster on every level. Unlike the original, this show has dark disgusting scenes that would never have been shown in the 1980's. These scenes are essentially Alister Crowley sex magic + human sacrifice + demon summoning. May sound kinda cool buts its not. The things you take into your mind become part of your conscious and subconscious. The end result is a depressed dark view of the world. This is not the mind- food you want to consume. I pity Lynch's soul. I see a drug throttled freak with a disturbed past.

The above aside. The movies itself truly does suck badly. I can not see anyone actually enjoying this vomit (unless they are from Sweden). I jumped forward into part 3 just see see if somehow things improved. They did not. The acting is very awkward and dead to the point where it was uncomfortable. Whatever lynch was trying to do is not working. No mater how hard you try to get into the scenes and actors, your brain rejects the experience. Nothing works here, the formula is inert. The chemicals are tainted. This show should have been poured down the drain long before making it to the audience.

And I agree with others here - the Studio paid trolls seem to be posting completely unreal FAKE reviews. Scum bags.

I'm very sad and disappointed.

Bye TP, your master murdered you :(

Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Great show, even for adults

[10/10 · 5 July 2013]

Completely loved this show and for a 40-somthing. After wasting money on garbage shows like WWZ and a few others we paid one more time and watched DM2 and have a great time. Loved the show, made up for the other disappointments. Lots of adult humor (and no, don't mean it that way, sorry Hollywood has programmed your brain that way) and great for kids too, of course. Had an actual plot not much different then Ian Flemming's works. Definitely great for kids. Great animation. Great acting. Lots of energy. Had a bit of Wild-e-coyote in there too. Funny and good ending!

This 10 line bs from IMDb is pissing me off, fyi.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Congrats, even worse the #2

[1/10 · 4 October 2011]

This production is for 12 year old's. In short, it is trash, a joke, an immature disjointed jerk-off visual puke. Micheal Bay needs to apologize, resign, and not show his face again. What a waste of time and money.

Just a few points:

1. New girl = ugly bimbo with attitude. 2. Plot is so bad the original cartoon was better. 3. Focus is 100% on the brat kid so-called star. 4. Robots are immature retards. 5. Visual effects poor. 6. Dialogue pathetic, silly, adolescent.

It appears this movie was made to suck up money from suckers, not to offer good entertainment. Classic Hollywood M.O.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Total Crap

[1/10 · 11 October 2010]

I had a feeling #2 would be #2. The ONLY memorable actor in this clown show was Mickey Rourke. Basically: This is not the first show. The first show had some soul and a story you can follow and get behind. Iron Man 2 is a Hollywood slop of arrogance. Instead of a good story they produced an overboard light and sound show that will leave you burned out. Let me explain the movie in child like terms: You love chocolate ice cream, and vanilla too, and Coke, and Sprite and Skiddles - so you mix all these things into one big gulp cup and drink. YUK, BLAA, BLAAAUCK. This is Iron Man 2.

With out a story one can get behind, a movie becomes forgotten as soon as it is over. Except for the anger you have for blowing your money and time, this is remembered! I am going to have a difficult time trusting Robert Downey again.

Star Trek (2009)

From life long Trekkie ...

[10/10 · 23 May 2009]

To start, see this movie, Trekkie or not.

I grew up with Star Trek, literally listening to it in the back ground as a 5 year old while my parents watched every episode. Then I watched every single show myself for years, over and over. I did not go as far as dressing up Trekkie however I would buy Star Trek relics. That said, Star Trek 2009 exceeded my expectations. The movie had all the thrills, tricks, plot lines, characters, and winner outcome of any Star Trek show, generation one or two - and went the extra few light years.

Young crew and new effects did its job, bringing the same great feelings of the 1960's show right up to the Now. As someone who loved and made part of my thinking the original show and characters - thumbs up on to the productive of this version.

Even though technically this is one of those retro shows, it does not in anyway feel retro. It is like the 1960's show leaped into today, picked up with the same great affection, with a lot more action, thrills, and all around great fun.

Now the plot does have one silliness to it, lets just say the plot falls into a black hole for a second, but picks back up quickly.

A great high! See it.

Sunshine (2007)

Phony intellectual

[1/10 · 3 February 2008]

This movie makes me sick. The morons who produced this phony intellectual trash should be jailed in a Chinese prison. This is a great movie if your a typical brains of Playdo American 20 something. It is like watching a bunch of high school dropouts pretending what it is like being in a space ship. Even if I was 18 years old the immaturity and incorrect science would tick me off to no end. I want who ever financed this trash to apologize to the industry and give all his/her money to writers and directors who are truly talented and will give us a good show.

And the pretend angst in this movie actually gives me real angst. I can not even tell what this fake movie is trying to pretend to be. It is like vomit of 20 meals spewed out into a single bowl.

Hairspray (2007)

Help, help, help me, no, kill me.

[1/10 · 8 December 2007]

I was forced to watch this flick with my girlfriend like. I am confused, sickened, in need of recovery. I will need therapy after this flick. Boys, do not let you tallywigs force this flick on you. It was bad, I felt like I was Alex in Clockwork Orange.

A real horror show, I wish I were with my droogs, tearing the place up you know, Because I knew what she sang, it was a bit from the glorious Ninth by Luwig Van. It had been a wonderful evening and what I needed now, to give it the perfect ending, was a little of the Ludwig Van.

"I bashed him in the mouth and the blood started to flow, real horror show like..."

The Watcher (I) (2000)

New lows, what happened to Spader

[1/10 · 25 October 2007]

This movie is for retards. Now let me explain, I do not mean mentally handicapped people, I mean retards. Retards are normal intelligent people who are lazy morons who refuse to evolve beyond the beer in their hand. Spader is really going down the toilet with these pathetic movies. Where can I start with this visual and mental trash - the acting was bad (except for the police partner), Spader gave his acting the energy level of a slug, Reeves acted as if he was performing in his first high school made-at-home movie with his best friend and their very first video cam. Plot, well there was no plot. The movie did score a 10 on the mean-and-depressing-o-meter. Investing 1.5 hours in this garbage is going to p*ss me off for the next week.

The Lost Room (2006)

Better plot needed

[7/10 · 20 June 2007]

Great series, lots of captivating scenes and interesting concepts. Overall however the plot and subplots were highschool. If you don't agree that's OK, your just highschool. But for us smart people we would like a real plot other then "may god died in the room". And the ending, OMG, you could tell the retarded (meant literally) writer ended the show with not clue on how to end the show. I stood in my kitchen with my girlfriend and a gin and tonic and came up with a substantially better plot and ending that would have profited the studio and thrilled the followers. Why, oh why oh why to losers get contracts to write movies. Someone give me a job, I see the great need for real story lines in this world of wasted dollars.

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Director ruined movie

[6/10 · 10 October 2006]

X1 and X2 were different movies then X3. X3 has a new director who apparently could care less about the quality of the show or its characters but instead cares about the $$$. All aspects of X3 were rushed and poorly thought out. You could even see in the faces of the actors the uncomfortable sense of "hurry and up get the movie over".

The only reason it received a good rating from Users is the momentum from the first two movies, on its own X3 would be a failure. It is obvious X3 was a sell out and a lead in to more $$$ in 2007's Wolverine. Why why why did the director change! Sad to see a great series die off.

Invasion (2005–2006)

Sickened

[10/10 · 24 September 2006]

I waited half a year for the British manipulated ABC station to show invasion and these Elmers do not renew. ABC makes me sick. Last year they clearly cheated on Dancing With Stars by "winning" an ABC affiliated actress over a better team. ABC gives us a heap of trash, mind numbed garbage, and then cancels a fresh and interesting show. In fact, after getting sick of Lost's silly de-evolving plot, and the filthy stupid Housewives, I found myself only sticking around for Invasion.

Maybe Invasion made us think ... ABC seems to engage in voter fraud, I guess having us think is not what ABC wants for us cattle. Needless to say I'm moving on to better stations, specially cable shows that are consistent and not up to the whim of some spoiled ABC Exec.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Worse ever

[1/10 · 9 January 2006]

A rating of "awful" is fair for this movie. I have never seen such a bad movie, even comparing to the cheesy sci fi's from the 1950's. The main problem with this movie is how offensive the cast are and the lack of plot. The plot is not the same as H.G. Well's book, not even close.

Tom is not too bad, other then his character is unreal, disjointed, and acts as a complete supplicant to his offspring. The little girl is the typical sick representation of a brat that Spielberg seems to be obsessed with. A mouthy brat girl who always observes important events first, out smarts all adults, and asks questions well above her age group. There is something deeply wrong with Spielberg. The brat son was essentially the same. All three primary characters, and the freak in the farm cellar, were not related to anything real, they were non-human characters. I've seen Japanese Anime with much more believable characters.

The only reason I can conjure that motivated these people to make this trash movie is some kind of agenda to make Americans stupid and empower children over their dumb and impotent parents. Now that theory is the only good sci fi in this flick.

Riverworld (2003 TV Movie)

More trash from Sci Fi channel

[1/10 · 16 October 2005]

I don't understand the Sci Fi channel, somehow these idiots have money, production studios, staff - yet they produce trash. I've seen college productions that had more depth and quality. The worst part of Sci Fi is that they absorb the sci fi world on cable, not leaving room for actual quality productions.

River World is a good example of a production that had good actors and lots of money yet the product is a pure waste of time. Either the management of Sci Fi Channel are incompetent or the Sci Fi is actively dumbing down the population. That would be a great Sci Fi show, how a cable channel is in conspiracy with some invisible group to turn society into drooling robots who never ask questions and only follow the Sci Fi channel's programming.

Sin City (2005)

Non-Fiction

[10/10 · 2 October 2005]

I enjoyed this movie because of its non fiction appeal. I could not find anything unreal about its plot.

Demonic politician with evil pedo spawn covered up with money his filth and crimes, catholic priest in cahoots with a satanic demon possessed serial killer freak, corrupt police, wicked people so debauched that whores appear as the decent people. The only good people are the few common people trying to live life who stand up to the plate to serve something higher.

I did not want to see this movie because of its violence and sex, by the end fo the movie however I felt different. Knowing it was really non-fiction made the difference.

Father of the Pride (2004–2005)

Not Good, just Bad and Ugly

[4 September 2004]

Hollywood execs stated several years ago they would have the F-word on network TV as well as other negative programming. They are getting their wish thanks to the lazy American audience.

"Pride" has classic dirty Reiner jokes every few lines. You'd think this dirty old man Reiner would eventually get sick of himself and change. If this trash aired even 10 years ago there would be an outrage. So far most forms of filth have been communicated in this show, just a few episodes into the season! Reiner/Katzenberg and his dirty associates are having a ball on this one. Exposing others to porn-based jokes and comments and other anti-family programming is their art, and what artists they are here.

Where are the parents and concerned adults who want the children to have an unmolested youth? Or just the decent adult who would like a clean way of thinking. The execs on this movie should be in front of a panel explaining their actions, not enjoying producing this non-funny, debauched garbage.