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Reviews
Win the Wilderness: Alaska (2020)
Boring and nothing to do with survival
Elementary school camp activities with dramatic music in the background to make you feel like any of it is any kind of challenge. A great showcase of redneck Americans slaughtering and gunning their way through nature to destroy it. Wtf was that bison scene?!
The house wasn't as impressive as everyone pretended it was, and the true question is - did these people just claim this land for free, build on it and are now profiting from it?
Yuck. Terrible show, painfully boring contestants and zero redeeming qualities from anyone.
Not worth the watch. Outlast in comparison is a masterpiece - watch that instead..
Scream VI (2023)
Wow. Bad.
Apparently all of the characters are immune to multiple stabbings and will be up walking around after ten minutes.
Even after all the killings, the girls weren't in protective custody? No cop interviews or escorts? Free to roam the city with a serial killer targeting them?
At the end, still no cops wanting to even talk to them? Everyone miraculously recovers from their horrific injuries to be able to throw out some stupid one liners?
Man, this blew.
And Hayden P, what on earth. She's a caricature of a detective. Leather jacket just to be sure you know she's a totally serious detective. Barely opening her mouth while talking in a monotone just so we get that SHES A DETECTIVE.
So bad. 2 stars instead of 1 because I love Courtney Cox. The main in this and the last sucks so bad, terrible protagonist and I wished her death each movie. Why was she even cast?
Wow.
American Horror Story (2011)
Rating given for season 10 & 11
What is happening? Please go back to basics. This show used to be special, now it's boring and very, very poorly acted. Get some of the originals back and focus more on creepy and "horror" like the title infers.
I think the creators are focusing on their other projects too much and this once amazing show is being pulled together and sent out, stuck together with tape and glue.
While we're at it, please stop giving bimbo actresses parts in American Horror Stories because of nepotism. Another failure.
You guys know pure horror, go back to that. Please. The cult following is getting tired of being patient.
Conversations with a Killer: The Jeffrey Dahmer Tapes (2022)
Cinema of the Unsettling
Interesting and very eerie to hear Dahmers voice speak about these horrific acts, as we have never heard this before.
The thing that bothered me was the over the top and near CONSTANT cut scenes of creepy masks, melted face masks, film, and other super random imagery that honestly reminded me of Gabes Cinema of the Unsettling video from The Office which took me out of it.
The editing was weird and annoying. There's so much information and it would have been absorbed and more compelling if you weren't constantly distracted by the stupid choppy and unrelated videos interspersed throughout. They're trying to overly dramatise something that is already dramatic enough.
American Horror Stories: Drive (2022)
Stop putting Bella Thorne in anything
She sucks and distracts from the world of AHS. You are too concours of her bad acting and her as a person. Great actors demand you se them for their character, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Jessica Lange, they all make sure you only see who they're playing.
More of them, less of this stories garbage with new age influencer bad actors.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
Completely underwhelming crap
Bits and pieces of "taboo" incest vibes for creep factor, but it really just came off irrelevant and pervy with nothing added to the story.
Not a movie about a witch or witches, literally a terrible prideful father who can't control his stupid kids that run wild and destroy themselves.
The witch was comical, a chubby woman with a big nose and a cartoon cackle.
This had you all spooked? Lol.
So boring, so pointless, story is scrambled eggs, it's just all over the place.
The Walking Dead: Alone (2014)
Beautiful opening
The opening with Bob, out there alone. The music in the background. This was a beautiful way to start a great episode.
American Horror Stories (2021)
Not good
Scarlett was hard to watch. Not a great actor.
The tone was off too. I realise it's a lot to be judged against the original, but if the creators didn't want us to do that, don't set these episodes in murder house. Leave that location and storyline alone.
Normal People: Episode #1.9 (2020)
Unwarranted mediocre reviews
This episode was haunting.
I'm not sure if you need to have experienced some level of depression or extreme lack of self worth to be moved by this episode, but I found it to be so authentic and relatable. I wallowed in misery in a state of numbness right alongside Marianne.
My eyes were filled to the brim with tears throughout the scene at the end where Connell narrates his email. It was beautiful, and overall one of my favourite episodes.
Things Heard & Seen (2021)
It was great, despite the reviews.
I think this movie is lost on some people. Those people being the ones wanting immediate gratification and those that lack patience.
The themes of the ethereal afterlife are planted and deeply rooted in the whole storyline. The book "Things Heard and Seen" and the authors beliefs are mentioned numerous times throughout. The paintings and artworks, conversations and theories that are explored in the movie give a huge insight into where it's going. Yet, a lot who watched were disappointed that the ending wasn't your run of the mill ghost kills bad guy story.
Get over it. Have some imagination and patience and appreciate a beautifully told story that gives us something different.
Upgrade (2018)
I am genuinely confused by all the positive reviews.
There were many flaws in this movie. Too many to forgive.
Just a small few:
- The lack of character building for the wife.
- The forced and fake relationship between the protagonist and his wife (cliche romance, calling each other "husband" and "wife") made it hard to care that she died enough to cheer on the revenge.
- The many plot holes when it comes to Stem.. the biggest being that Stem somehow makes a human body move like a robot (more like a human pretending to be a robot in a game of charades). Robots move the way they do due to the mechanics and hardware.. why does a small chip on a spinal cord completely change someone from human movement to robot?
- How did Stem come back to life before the hack was complete?
- Why were there sooooo many cliche lines?
- The protagonist changed his personality at least 6 times, not due to any story line, just, because..? He was a masculine, car working, woman loving, protective and humble man and by the end he (not Stem) was a sarcastic, one-liner quoting, annoying teenager with a maturity deficit?
- The end tried to give us too many twists and turns that were all incredibly predictable from the very beginning, instead of focusing on building the story in the middle and the beginning where it desperately needed some detail.
- The story isn't even original as many have claimed. It's the old story of tech gone wrong. Beware AI, etc. This storyline has been around since Terminator.
- I know it was low budget but if you can't do something decent, don't. The hang guns and cardboard box "futuristic" car were just, LOL.
- The movie was far too short. We needed depth and story from the detective and the inventor guy - see, I can't even remember anyone's names! It was so brief and a blip in time compared to the smart ass jokes and bad fight scenes..
- 1,000 others. We found ourselves hoping the credits would start rolling, so waste 90 minutes if you want but there are plenty of better things to watch.
Suits (2011)
The earlier the better.
Dule Hill as Alex Williams... so bad. I haven't seen him in anything else, and I have no desire to after watching him in Suits. His lines are delivered so poorly, like straight off a script instead of organically. Just super cringey to watch.
Anyway, the first 6 seasons are great.
The Confession Tapes: Joyride (2019)
Rating given for perfectly illustrating how unbelievably stupid people in power can be
The cops. Wow.
The two who actually committed the murders were not as evil as the investigator and the forensic "God".
I was laughing so hard at Investigator Schencks enormous ego that prevented him from admitting he was wrong even all of these years later. I was then disgusted, thinking that this "man" is/ was in a position of power with such a narrow (and idiotic/ slow/ dim) brain. I hate to think about how many other innocent people took the wrap because of this stain on the human race.
See (2019)
Pretty but no story
Bad. Just bad.
They "can't see" but somehow know everything that you can only know by sight.
Silly. Set in a distopian future but somehow the language and clothing has reverted back to the early 1400s.
Yes, humanity has turned cold but we would not somehow rewind hundreds of years. It would be a different type of chaos and mess - I wish a better design premise was explored.
Bad.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Remember Me Too (2018)
Olivia is Unbearable
I usually love Olivia, but wow, I was SCREAMING at the TV, at her. She was incredibly dumb for someone with so much experience. Constantly hounding Stone to drop all the charges as if that's possible, and blindly believing the "victim" before any proof. Terribly frustrating to watch.
The "victim" killed someone. Meaning to or not. Killing someone, ANYONE is against the law. Olivia was acting like some moron off the street rather than a lieutenant. It was not empathy, it was stupidity and blind belief.
I love SVU but wow, this episode and the previous one were so bad!
My Mad Fat Diary (2013)
It's a good show, but it's infuriating
It's based on a real story. That's even more infuriating.
Rae is an unbelievably selfish, horrible, narcissistic and self loathing creature.
So many people saw so many qualities in her they loved for some reason, all I saw was a bad friend, bad daughter, bad girlfriend, bad patient, etc. The worst part? Everyone looks the other way and forgives blindly, no matter if she's almost caused a death, hurt someone deeply, taken all privileges for granted or felt so sorry for herself she was oblivious to the fact that other humans have needs and feelings too.
What a perfect example of a terrible human. Poor mental health is not a licence to destroy people around you.
Again, it's based on a true story so I'm speaking directly to the real Rae Earl, too.
The Affair (2014)
Really interesting, but HORRIBLE main characters
Great show, really good premise, interesting perspective.
Two things I hated about this show? Noah and Alison! The two main characters are so self entitled and unbelievably irritating to watch! Why is it written that every man falls head over heels for Alison? Her looks and personality are not right for that role. She is incredibly unappealing and selfish.
They have barely any chemistry, it's not very believable that they love each other, or are even attracted to each other. Every kiss looks painful. They are also just truly selfish and annoying self pitying people! We are supposed to love the protagonists? No. I loved Helen, the miserable wife, Cole, the angry husband, and basically EVERYBODY else. I ended up only continuing to watch for everyone elses sake and to hopefully watch Noah lose everything, and Alison die.
Edit - I wrote this before I saw the end of season 4, I was delighted to see Alison written out of the show. Her bleak and selfish attitude was getting so boring.
Dirty John (2018)
It's just ok. Julia Garner ruins it.
I was so disappointed. I LOVED Julia Garner in ozark, and thought she was such a wonderful actress.... then I watched this. Her character is so unwatchable. Her accent. But the worst part is her pretend stutter with 80% of the sentences she says - "So.. So that's it", "What.. What do you mean", "I'm.. I'm gonna go" etc. It was all I noticed after a couple of episodes and it annoyed the crap out of me. She was such a let down!
The rest of the show is just ok. The story is a bit unbelievable, but then, I have a hard time accepting that people can just be this stupid! A woman already married 4 times, jumps into another marriage after 10 weeks. To a man, nonetheless, that welcomed himself into her bed on their first date and basically refused to leave when she asked.
If the acting was better, and the script dialled down on its ridiculousness a bit, it would have been a good watch.
Making a Murderer (2015)
Regardless of what side you're on, this is a very well made docuseries
If you've watched Making a Murderer, and have started following the case like I have, you may have noticed just how dedicated each side is to their belief of innocence or guilt.
This docuseries, while being a little in favour of Steven Averys innocence, still gives you enough to think about, to question both possibilities. I know I am still not convinced one way or another.
The timeline, flow and delivery of information make this so easy to watch. Its never boring, it doesn't drag out, and every time you get comfortable with a theory, BAM! another piece of evidence comes to light (especially in Season 2).
Unsane (2018)
It could have been much better...
The premise was fantastic. The acting, not so much. Claire Foy was not believable, and her accent/ dialect was confusing at times.
If this movie wasn't trying so hard to be a novelty (shot on an iPhone), and if the right cast was hired, it would have been a smash.
Not really worth the watch, read the wiki page, or a few reviews and you get the idea.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Yes, another 10. But not easily given.
Firstly, I have to address comments other reviewers made about the title of this film being "pretentious". Do some research. This film is based on a novel titled "Requiem for a Dream" by Hubert Selby Jr written in 1978, before pretension was a "thing".
Ok, now to the movie.
Please only watch this if you're a patient person, if you will give it your attention, it deserves nothing less. The story is heartbreaking, yes, and the characters are mesmerising, yes, but the true hero here is the score. The music by the Kronos Quartet will sing to you in a haunting rendition of the soundtrack to your life, forever changed, once you walk away from this movie. The sounds are perfectly in tune with the visual, something that gives this movie the only 10 I have given out so far.
This movie will change you. The 4 main characters, and their descent into darkness is something so incredibly special, it needs to be seen by those who will appreciate it.
Aquaman (2018)
Cringey and Uninventive
This movie exists to make money.
The CGI is so over the top that at many points in the movie, it looks like you're watching an animation. The waves, fire, and hair movements under water are so unrealistic, it was very disappointing.
The storyline isn't much better, your typical brother vs brother drama with silly costumes and WAY too many sarcastic quips and one liners... (Aquaman getting on the submarine - "permission to come aboard").
Watching the characters swim is also very cringey, noting flows well, it's not organic. It looks like puppets being manoeuvred with pulley strings.
It just didn't work, at all. You can't immerse yourself in the movie because it's so hyper-unrealistic.