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Reviews
Malignant (2021)
Definitely a 10/10 just like the shill reviews say...
10/10 would not recommend.
This was only mediocre bad until the big reveal; then it was laughably bad. This was the big ticket, free HBO Max movie available in theaters for this month?! I paid nothing and I still want my money back. I won't give you any spoilers, the movie itself is already rotten enough. Go watch your cat barf on the carpet, it will be more entertaining than this.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Not even good as a B movie.
Zombie parkour, nukes on Las Vegas, a poorly thought out "heist" movie, and how to film an entire movie with a 15mm lens.
That's it.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Master class on how to cram 3 hrs into 4 hr movie
There's absolutely no need for this much slo-mo. It's a decent rendition but it could have been better without such gratuitous use of such a weak crutch.
Road to Nowhere (2010)
Apt title
The title says it all. This movie goes nowhere. Unfortunately it doesn't go nowhere fast. I should've seen the writing on the wall considering the movie starts out LITERALLY watching paint dry.
From there it only slows down. And devolves to absolutely incredulous stupidity by the major players.
Want to switch the same scene three times? This is your movie.
Want to wonder how stupid people could possibly be? Yep, watch this.
Want to watch paint dry? A full minute of someone tying their shoes? 45 seconds cleaning the garbage out of their car? Film just being run to run film? GET.THIS.MOVIE.
Sound intolerable? Save yourself the 2 hours. Trust me. Or don't, but you were warned.