mark-179-360743 Reviews

Little Bone Lodge (2023)

Very creepy

[10/10 · 1 July 2023]

I'm sure many eyes would roll if you heard this was a horror tinged home invasion movie. Its been done to death, and yet I've not seen one executed so perfectly in literally forever. I'm trying hard, but I can't isolate one thing for criticism. The story is engaging, the acting great throughout from all the cast, interesting character progression and back stories, direction is strong, no surplus fat anywhere, just constant story progression that gets increasingly bizarre and more twisted until by the end you ask yourself "How did they manage to do that?". Its edgy, creepy and hearkens back to those doom laden 70's horror flicks with a distinctly Martyrs come Wicker Man feel at the end. I can't fault it, and I know horror inside out. Real tension, real stakes and a satisfying and unexpected climax. More please!

Royal Bastards: Rise of the Tudors (2021)

great series, but a few inaccuracies

[8/10 · 13 December 2021]

Before we begin. I have a degree in British History... The synth music is a little unnecessary, but the acting good and history from specialists is welcome. It makes the war of the Roses saga seem fresh and interesting, its a great introduction to the material. But... I have a few bugbears; the Princes in the Tower is still a mystery, we do not know if their murder was ordered, or who by, and yet it is stated as fact and Richard the 3rd is the culprit. We do not know. Ergo, this is historically inaccurate; it's likely, but not fact - and this should have been stated. Also, a lot of court intrigue is also packaged as gospel, when it is not fact, there are no records of tittle-tattle and heresay. We interpolate based on actual known outcomes, a lot of conclusions are presented as absolutes and not possibilities - which they in fact are. It is almost certain that this is not 100% accurate, probably a lot less. Some of the commentary is not well scripted.. for example "They were in fear of their lives". No, people are in fear "FOR their lives", not OF them. Pedantic yes, but things like this happen too often to be ignored, with a budget like they have - you can't have slack writing, it doesn't cost a lot to send a script to a decent editor... So yes, a great series, decent acting and some good insight - but marred by suggesting the view which is presented is actual historic fact, and not interpolation; however, the view presented is generally of the more "likely" academic consensus, but people should be told this is what is being presented - and they don't. And what is with that bloody synthesizer music during a 1400's documentary?? But I'm generally quite anal - so its basically very good and I do recommend, but remember the pinch of salt - all facts here are not accurate.

Drunk Bus (2020)

Brilliant

[9/10 · 21 May 2021]

This is absolutely perfect. It is in every respect so real, relatable and funny and covers every aspect of a coming of age comedy. That every big budget college campus movie has ever tried to be, but never comes across as cliched, trite or forced. You know every character, you've lived every experience but this is a great reflection of a relatable characters transformation through things that we've all been through. The script is great, its not playing for laughs but remains believably funny and endearing throughout,. I'm writing this review 60% of the way through and I can't fault; I'm willing to put my stamp on this before I've seen how it pans out. This is a movie that makes you smile all the way through, a lot of big studio movies trying to get this feel could learn a lot from. Great direction, script and acting. Enjoy.

The Dare (2019)

Brilliant, struggling to understand the low ratings

[8/10 · 4 March 2020]

In a completely over-saturated revenge torture horror, I'm very impressed. Yes, we've seen Saw and God knows how many piss-poor clones before, and admittedly nothing particularly new is done here - but its done with style, with good acting, a decent plot with a backstory that makes sense, has great lighting, direction and isn't just a showcase for torture and twisted ways for people to die. It could have done with a bit more background on some of the characters, but overall, this is a great late night horror flick that manages to avoid most genre specific cliches and try to give a degree of realism, mystery and empathy to the protagonists case. There's absolutely nothing new here, but what you get is what you expect, and it's all done very well. Bad reviews here must be from non-genre fans or from rival studios perhaps... Everything in the movie, other than depth of characterisation (main hero and main bad guy fleshed out nicely, others were waiting to drop off A'la Star Trek...) No idea what they were expecting, or why they mark down a quality piece of work... Great late night fun!!!

Nightshooters (2018)

Wow

[10/10 · 28 February 2019]

Completely unexpected gem. Clever story, good script, strong acting, fantastic fight choreography, decent cast (won't be known outside the UK, but all good), well paced, great action, witty lines well delivered throughout. I'm really blown away. Its minimalist in terms of sets and setting, and strangely rich in terms of film content - its really not your run of the mill action flick, but something far more clever and enjoyable. If you don't enjoy what this team have created, you really shouldn't be watching film as a medium. A well spent 2 hours of great entertainment.

Night Nurse (2018 TV Movie)

Strong in all areas, for what it is, very good.

[7/10 · 22 December 2018]

It's a straight to TV movie, so relatively low budget, yet this is a very strong thriller in a muchly overdone genre. Its well acted throughout, story is (suspend disbelief) believable, script is good, its well lit, well shot and well directed. All the leads fit their characters well. I'm only marking it down for lack of originality, the trojan baby-snatcher has been done to death, for the ludicrous body burying scene - in a movie which is somewhat believable throughout, this stuck out like a sore thumb, and for the nurse running out to confront the nutter. For the sake of a few days plot jiggling, this could have very easily been ironed out and then this would actually be one of the better films in the genre. For a TV movie, quite excellent, and overall, strong in all areas - considering I normally steer a wide berth of this kind of flick, I was impressed.

Incident in a Ghostland (2018)

Best horror of the year

[10/10 · 17 June 2018]

Really icky. What's scary is knowing that some of this kind of **** is going on in the world right now to some unfortunate people. The script and story are tight, acting excellent, the attention to detail is impeccable, the characters are full, well explored and consistent and as the movie unfolds, it doesn't seem over sensationalised - meaning you can believe this is a real story. This makes Ghostland one of the few films that, while delivering plenty, doesn't rely on it's shock scares to keep atmosphere, tempo and interest maximised throughout. It is very easy to get completely sucked in to the story, and stay on the edge of your seat (or behind the covers, far more likely) until the end. If you don't rate this as a 9 or 10, then what the hell movie can you give 9 or 10 to in this genre? I live horror, and I've seem very little in my life that hits all the buttons this well. Unquestionably this years "Autopsy of Jane doe" - probably a little better actually. Miss it at your peril.

Terrifier (2016)

Probably the best clown slasher, ever...

[9/10 · 28 March 2018]

It really is better than any other clown movie. I hate clown movies, not because they''re scary, but because they're crap. This isn't. From the opening 30 seconds, you know you are in for something special and genuinely creative. All the actors are solid, the script is actually reasonable, the stock used is the same like in the Aviator, and it really works with non-stop hyper-realistic blood and gore, the clown is actually scary and a strangely interesting character despite being mute, the deaths are creative and "Uggh" initiating throughout, the score is suitably atmospheric, lighting and direction are perfect and the pace is high throughout the movie. I don't know what else you want me to say - it really is one of the best slasher movies ever, best clown movies ever and best horror flicks for a ****ing age - there are literally no bits where anything has been skimped on. I don't have anything to do with the production, I know I seem to be brown nosing a lot - but anyone with a slight inclination towards horror in general has to be impressed. This is not hyperbole. Its just a - quite literally - bloody good movie!

This Is Your Death (2017)

Outstanding

[10/10 · 15 September 2017]

The premise is something of a homage to Network, updated and twisted for our reality revolution. It looks at a society which seems to have gone a few steps further than our own into a voyeuristic abyss, but one that seems we could potentially be just around the corner from...

The cast is excellent, and Giancarlo Esposito really is a revelation, I still wasn't sure which way things would go right until the last second, and I was moved with his plight throughout.

Given the only possible moral message at the end was always going to be somewhat obvious, it is better to judge based on the style with which punishment and redemption are meted in the end and the way the film bought about the crescendo. I was left completely satisfied. That doesn't happen very often.

The Ice Cream Truck (2017)

Not a great movie, but strangely enjoyable

[4/10 · 19 August 2017]

OK, brass tacks. It isn't a horror. Its got the innuendo of a horror laid against a backdrop of an illicit romance, and I think was actually a kind of inept black comedy, whether intentionally or otherwise. The main character is moderately fleshed out, the others are empty and underused. The pacing is not good, the story equally isn't very good. The lighting and cinematography, for what it is, is actually decent. The lead was well cast, and the sub plot, almost hit the mark, almost a good effort at a black comedy, which is its main problem. It could have been a decent film about an illicit love affair if it ditched the largely pointless Icecream Truck part, and focused on the neighbors and relationships. The actual slasher bits just weren't shot well enough and really rather got in the way. The ending, we are suddenly forced to accept she made the whole thing up to pass the time daydreaming - which turns a below average movie with a few redeeming features in to a crock of ****. And yet, like I said, I strangely enjoyed it - better edited, better paced and slightly fleshed out and it would have been reasonable. As it stands, its not that its not worth your time, its almost a perfect education in how to almost make a good movie, and you can use your imagination to see what bits you need to change to make it work well in a number of different genres. The nice final touch, the delivery guy, showing that maybe the spit-storm is coming for real is nice, but this really isn't something to seek out. Even though I strangely enjoyed it. Go figure.

The Osiris Child (2016)

Decent good budget sci-fi effort

[8/10 · 19 July 2017]

This movie has decent acting for the most part, very good effects and CG, a good score and a reasonable story - you get involved, care sufficiently about the characters and so forth. Its not earth- shatteringly original, but I didn't feel short-changed at any point. There is a lot of attention to detail, nice shots, some really nice sci-fi ideas (Love the perpetually revolving prison cells, for example...). Some bits are a little annoying, like the daughters diary voice-overs, a bit Terminator rip-off, but the whole thing works well, looks good and feels suitably polished to warrant your time. Its not going to break any new genre ground, and the gobby title will put off some, but this could easily be a decent pre-marvel cinema release, and I enjoyed it a lot. Some other reviews here look like shills, but it really is head-nodding-at-the-end decent.

The Young Offenders (2016)

Best Irish comedy, possibly ever...

[10/10 · 12 January 2017]

Great original Irish comedy, sharp witty script and funny as fekk. There really isn't much more to say, its great all the way through - there's not a single bit I can fault. Acting, soundtrack, script, characters, story - completely great. The DVD case has got all these stars and accolades, and for the most part I view that kind of stuff with skepticism - but there's not a thing in the whole film that isn't hilarious, there's not a single wasted moment. Best comedy I've seen for years, look forward to more from the director and cast! It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, my Mum wouldn't like it - but if you're in the market for a bit of crude, rude, Irish slapstick toilet humour this will literally make your year, and we're only 2 weeks in to 2017!

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Unexpected Gem

[8/10 · 20 December 2016]

I've not seen an original horror this well done for a long time. The cast is strong, dialogue and acting good, the story is interesting, well paced and well directed.

If you didn't know better, you may think after the first third of the film that you were watching a forensic crime, and would be quite happy to continue watching in that vein. Instead, an unsettling, atmospheric, claustrophobic tale of magic, sacrifice and revenge unfolds, which I was more than happy with. The direction is outstanding, your imagination does a lot of the work and the budget is saved for some very well done major scenes (and of course, quality actors - unfortunately rare in horror these days).

Whereas it would have been wonderful to tie up the loose ends, see a bit about the Witch Trials history, give Hirsch and Cox a bit more to go on earlier in the film etc. With that said, it may have removed something from the very polished whole, and in all likelihood will yield a - well deserved - sequel. Jane Doe sure as Hell hasn't finished yet!

It's got that "Sinister" vibe about it, and is certainly one of the best horror releases of the year. I challenge anyone to watch this and not feel impressed, satisfied and maybe just a little bit scared.

Frequencies (2013)

Excellent

[9/10 · 8 July 2014]

2 bad reviews in this movie average; it deserves far higher than an excellent 7.2. I have the worlds joint highest IQ (For real, top 0.0003% culture fair, exam conditions) and this movie was genuinely intellectually stimulating, clever, funny and strangely plausible.

Frequencies is well acted throughout, has a great story, is well presented and thoroughly original. Do not be fooled by my assertion that the movie is "intellectual" as something which should turn you off - it is fresh, clever, well shot and actually encompasses a great deal of occult, and indeed quantum scientific, theory. Gorgeous to watch; nay - experience - and would only ever be marked down by those who don't "get" it. Watch immediately. Fantastic.

Stitch (II) (2013)

Genuinely creepy, clever and tense

[9/10 · 16 February 2014]

I've seen every horror / slasher flick going, and there hasn't been a lot of innovation for a long time - most are incredibly formulaic. I genuinely see this movie as genre redefining, and was far away from any cliché I was expecting. Yes, some of the non-gore FX are clearly low budget, although they don't detract from the film, but the script, story, direction and acting are all excellent. The film is genuinely creepy, it keeps you guessing right until the end - when even after a few truly impressive twists, the film maintains intelligence, creative direction and - most importantly - scariness. It feels a lot like Phantasm (always a plus in my book), but more polished - but that classic creepy, weird "high-quality" 80's horror flick with great twists, morals etc. are way better than the 5.4 average rating I see at the moment. A solid 8+ higher if you love the genre. I'm an ex-pro movie-journo, I'm not giving this bonuses as a fanboy or anyone tied to the production - it really is clever, really creepy and really well acted and directed throughout. Spooky stuff.

Oblivion (I) (2013)

A lot of artificial reviews propping this turkey up...

[25 April 2013]

This film drags. The story is poor, fails to engage and the dialogue is absolute drivel. The film is a VERY poor mans Total Recall. The special effects are excellent, as you might expect, but the film is an absolute turkey. The average rating will drop right down over the coming months; I can only assume a lot of Cruise fans or Scientologists are being VERY generous - an all too common phenomenon these days. Avoid like the plague; or better still - go and watch some paint dry, or grass grow.

The whole I lost my memory, I'm living with someone who isn't my wife, my real wife randomly turns up and I turn vigilante for the rebels has been done to death and far, far better. Its almost farcical watching how EVERY single shot is shot to make Cruise look tall - I mean, you only get head shots upper torso or legs - no close-up full boy in the entire movie. There are so many plot holes, you just want to sigh at the screen and shake your head. I'm generally a Cruise fan - no really - but this is not a good vessel, not a good story and sure as hell not a good film. For effect junkies, you'll enjoy the CG - but that's literally all.

Skyfall (2012)

Soooooooooooooo bad...

[4/10 · 13 November 2012]

The plot is pathetic, the movie plods and is tremendously dull, the action sequences are fine - but they feel more muted than past movies. The main thing is that "old" Bonds, a'la Brosnan for example, were larger than life Bonds who you could enjoy watching. The Cruciferous Mrs seems to think that by making Bond gritty and real he somehow stays relevant and new. The only problem is, he doesn't - this Bond is dull, boring, unsexy - the antithesis of 50 years of great Bond flicks. No new characters of note, the new Q has all the presence of a rollmop herring. And the first thing he does in his new job is hook up the enemies computer directly to the MI6 mainframe? Give me strength. The evil gay villain dude randomly gets caught at exactly the place and time he's put enough explosive to allow a tube train to bust through a ceiling? Cue raised eyebrows... (Yes, yes - smartasses out there, we know he probably had them absolutely everywhere so he could blow anywhere up, should he need to - what, I have to infer things to make the plot even half way believable? - incredulous eyebrows, again...) Oh, and Bond at the end of the movie in the frozen lake - ever heard of hypothermia? Yet just wanders to the chapel and throws a hunting knife in the villains back? Sorry - but a REAL, gritty Bond like they are trying to create unfortunately appears to be immune to the laws of physics - so he is both dull as hell and unbelievable. And we know already he is a physical wreck... AND... the villain actually wins - given he wanted to kill himself and M. AND the reason for the movie, the list, is never even discussed again - I'm thinking that ubergayvillaindude given his permanent 2 steps ahead of Bond modus operandi would probably have made a contingency to guarantee the remaining spies were still outed (If he didn't then frankly he was probably just too gay for a bond movie...). AND... you actually feel that the villain has a right to be aggrieved by M and thus you have no emotional connection to the plot; actually looking forward to M getting killed. AND... as another poster wrote, why not just get a blank sim card and call in for backup when you know the bad dudes are on the Skyfall estate? The way Bond runs this is completely effing retarded. Mendes brings all the tension of a slap in the face with a wet fish to what is clearly and simply the worst Bond ever made. Bond movies used to be fun, and I think Daniel Craig is actually generally good as Bond, but make no bones about it - this movie is crap; its markedly less fun than George Lazenby's risible effort.

Oh, and the amount of continuity errors which are so bad you can see them on the first viewing is excruciating to watch. You may first see the bond-girls fag in the casino, but you can probably pick out about 10 before pretty easily. Poor, poor film making - so dull and so non-Bond - saved by a few nice action sequences. It would be so-so as a straight to DVD...

The Hunger Games (2012)

It ain't all that...

[21 April 2012]

The reviews for this movie are ridiculous, I can't understand where all the high ratings are comings from (Possible hormones?). The actors are competent, a mile better than that twilight rubbish - decent cast; but the implementation of the filming and the way the story is portrayed is poor. Most people will have read the books, if not - do, the film is a poor reflection. Not enough focus on the circumstance the people have been forced to live under, nice scenes up until the hero's get to district 1, but pre-arena and in the arena the story changes from telling the story to a number of poorly imagined variations of the set pieces in the book, to such an extent that it gets embarrassing to watch. Each 'major' scene is trimmed to its absolute minimal essence and does not link well chronologically. Suddenly Katniss finds some random blood and voilà, there is Peter? I'm sorry - but cake decorating and being Leonardo DaVinci in body painting, with no links or explaining material? Absolute rot, and just accepting on one or two arrow shots that Katniss is "Herne the Hunter" reborn does not scan well, and without the books support its a bit of a head nod "Yeah right" for too much of her exploits.

I saw Pirates on the same day, which blew me away, creative, good characters and story and compared to a poorly told story with a huge budget; I would take it any day of the week.

Imagine "The Golden Compass" but a better story and acting; i.e. it still sucks like a kid on a MacDonalds milkshake; but you don't feel 'quite' as bad for the production crew...

Also, almost nobody has mentioned how its a blatant rip-off of The Running Man - only with teenagers, The Running Man is superior in so may respects, but this film has the advertisers buck and a lot of money men rubbing their hands. Lets hope this overrated debacle improves in the second and (groan) third parts.

Don't get me wrong, the film with such a small amount of change in the direction and a few better linking scenes could have been excellent, but as it stands it simply isn't a good film. One of the main bugbears is the lack of involvement from the outside world when the combatants are in the arena; a few poorly chosen scenes and some weird sky-dome CG - nothing of Haymitch's efforts on the outside, crowd reactions to internal events, sponsors gifts etc... (I'm sorry - but the soup scene after so much focus on this aspect in the books, is simply poor storytelling) just random unjustified huge escalations in the social situations, which also does not bear out the book. i.e. the populace has been watching this show for 74 years, yet all of a sudden one of the contestant dies (The young herb girl, uh-huh) yet now they are so peeved they revolt violently. 5-6 out of 10 is fair, but for the money they spent and the advertising overdrive 4 is more accurate.

If you haven't read the books, you'll wonder what all the fuss is about, and if you did read the books - you will moreso.

Wait for the DVD; or better still don't watch it - suckers to the advertisers one and all :-(

The Insatiable Moon (2010)

Rebuttal of "submissive_element"'s review

[6 October 2011]

Review quote: "No I haven't watched the movie yet. The only thing I know about it is the synopsis and the "highly suspicious" reviews about it..." Etc. etc.

I'm an ex professional movie reviewer from the UK now living in the Czech Republic, "submissive_element"'s negative and highly suspicious 'review' suggesting all reviews are a bias from people who worked on the movie or were cast members is complete and utter twaddle.

If you aren't moved by this massively unexpected piece of brilliance, then you're probably dead. For the reviewer in question to say he hasn't even seen the film but suggest it is suspicious is, for my money, simply bad manners. The characters, story, social issues and tribulations contained therein conjour something completely unexpected and magical.

Example: A scene at a paedophiles funeral - with an open floor - where the deceased's friends and the mother of the molested suicide victims speak of the deceased will shock you and stun you for both its raw shock factor, humanity and yet balanced love, and this is not even close to being one of the most thought provoking, endearing scenes in the film.

It's hard to know what to make of the movie, but this isn't a low budget Kiwi flick, it's a huge movie that does more on so many levels than most of the worldwide celluloid output of the past few years. It may have a lower budget than many films, but I've seen movies with a lot more money pumped in to them that don't yield a fraction of the response it raised in me.

To not try and track it down is your loss. I hope "Submissive Element" is reading this review, and does so accordingly.