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The Fighter (I) (2010)
1/10
Disappointing and Nauseating and unengaging
21 January 2011
This was such a let down, am I the only person who sees through the hype. The film starts with a funky bouncy walk down the street . It promises so much however ends up so flat, It's like a predictable TV movie lacking any punch and when the predictable love interest and the overbearing family arrive on the scene it dissolves into a 12 round slug fest, dead on the canvas all the characters are annoying and there is more shouting than a Jerry Springer movie.. I wish Christian Bale and the whole family would just OD immediately Some of the reviews have the audacity to put it in the same ring as Raging Bull ,,,, eh get a life. (And lets not forget about the schmalzy American Rock soundtrack - dire It was dull,, unengaging and ultimately predictable tosh,,, I would rather watch Rocky 10 Intacto I can steal your luck
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9/10
Cracking Action War Film with a message
10 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This is simply a belter of a movie .. Using the unsung heroes of Iraqs Bomb Disposal unit and some relentless set pieces this film sucks you in gargles you then spits you out leaving you with an emphatic message.. WAR IS A DRUG FOR SOME.... Following one of the most riveting and unsuspecting open sequences I have seen in ages we follow the maverick Sargeant Willaim James take on anything the Bombers/terrorists can throw at him. The director succeeds in her portrayal of Iraq as am impossible environment to work in,, the claustrophobia and unnerving constant threat of suicide bombers is delt with true realism.. There is no political message more a message of how soldiers live for risk and adrenalin .. and how adjusting to civilian life can be impossible,, The film succeeds by continually cranking up the tension as the two hours breeze by.. Sure there are some plot holes but remember its a movie and I guarantee you will stay with this one throughout the ride ! It will simply blow you away !!!
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9/10
A British Ivan's XTC with a dash of Witnail and I
13 October 2008
What an unexpected Gem, British film making minus Danny Dyer minus Guy Ritchie minus Colin Firth = ' Excellent ' … Don't switch off after the first 5 minutes as this could be our typical British flop. Narration,, freeze frame ,, loser introspective rewind, loads of swearing, attitude, over use of flashback etc

However the film draws you in . And succeeds through the bombastic central performance from its lead Peter Howit through the effective use of narration and non chronological story telling, all too often exploited in modern cinema

On reflection this is a modern day shakespearean tragedy .. A triumph in modern cinema which succeeds in making you laugh whilst conveying a very sad and poignant message of one mans search for redemption

With a raw honesty served on a plate of hilarious self destructive loathing the narrator introduces his world of drug fuelled decadence with at times hilarious results, before his admission to rehab in an effort to resurrect his life . The latter part of the film turns decidedly dark and is at times difficult viewing so be prepared for an emotional roller-coaster..

Try and imagine Ivan's XTC meets Trainspotting meets Witnail and I ? I !

A MUST SEE
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The Lookout (2007)
3/10
A Wast of Time
21 March 2008
This film defines the term "watchable average" ,,, Forget the critics ,, It slowly goes no where with its Pretty Boy Heath Ledger,Kneau Reeves guilt ridden Depressant ,, and Geof Danniels is the only person who manages to deliver. Its a 3 out of 10 and I seriously think those pretentious American sycofants in Rotten Tomoatoes who give it high marks have been watching too much Jerry Springer ,, Sam Raimi's Simple Plan delivers far greater punch or the much underrated 'The Score'. Seriously the plot has some incredulous turns and is ridden with 'Cliches' and drags on and on and on and on !. This youngster belongs in an American teen drama.. And the most annoying 'Night Rider esqu ' Soundtrack is straight out of an 80's Nightclub.. If you reach the end of this contrived nonsense without asking the question can 'someone Lookout for the Director and give him a slap' I will buy you a banana sandwich and glass of milk

Seriously avoid at all costs

Watch the Australian Classic ' The Noise !!!
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Spiral (I) (2007)
2/10
Awful Film - An Embarrassment
2 March 2008
As a true lover of film I must advise you to avoid this appalling effort,, God knows how funding was approved, Seriously this is one cinematic experience which delivers zero dramatic tension and plods along until nothing happens again and again and again ,, The only connectivity is two scares which at least keep you awake Possiby the worst film I have ever witnessed and the acting by the female lead is bordering on criminal intent. One blessing with modern technology you can fast forward and watch it on 12x and it will only last 25 minutes, ,, And you won't miss any of the plot

No idea how people find this at all interesting and some are giving it high marks !
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Atonement (2007)
4/10
Reviewers must Atone for their sins ....
9 September 2007
I have rarely complained about specific reviews, ., however through utter astonishment at reading Empires Helen O'Haras recent verdict of Atonement as being 'a masterpiece' (Is she on the books of British Film incorporated !!!,) , including comments such as 'near faultless performances' , 'complex', 'devastating' and 'best Picture'... . Her credibility as a quality reviewer of film has been severely damaged by this overtly Patriotic analysis ,, I was expecting to see something between Lawrence of Arabia and The English Patient and was given a beautifully shot Lynda La Plante TV drama ,, was so disappointed , and like most of the cinema's whispers on the verge of walking out this snobbish middle brow drama,, .... Basically all dramatic tension is lost in the second act when the action moves to the bigger canvas of the war in France ,, James McEvoy's accent failed and his presence weakened any scene and where does one start with Ikea Knightley .. shocking.... Is it possible Empire can ask Helen to take off her ' English Rose' tinted spectacles and read a proper and accurate review of this 'tosh' by Cosmo Landesman's cutting and on the ball review in the Sunday Times .
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Inland Empire (2006)
2/10
Inland Empire is a Lost Empire
17 May 2007
Let me present David Lynch's latest dream factory tour and identity scramble, with a very simple tagline: "A woman in trouble in Hollywood and in 1930s Poland !! yeah I know,,,

I'll leave it at that As a massive fan of Mr Lynch I found his latest video installation so challenging I lost interest after about an hour, indeed I felt more pain on isle 6 than at 22 miles in this years London marathon,, It made Mulholland Drive seem like Wilbur Smith !!! The style and substance and metaphorically infused masterpiece of Mullholand Drive seems so distant.

I just couldn't stay with it past the hour mark indeed I am afraid to say a lot of his devotees, not to mention innocent filmgoing lambs looking for something exotic, may likewise find themselves in trouble here. This is Lynch's most elusive tone poem to date, and its cheapo visual aesthetic links it to no other film in his canon What we get is an unsurprising uncomfortable 3 hours of unfathonable iterations .. Psychopathic sexual jealousy; rabbit sit coms, unwanted children; unreliable electrical currents, leading to exploding light-bulb effects and cavernous hallways --all Lynchian trademarks The same goes for Lynch's iterations of female innocence contrasted with female degradation. The director indicts the voyeur and is the voyeur. By the time the blond Dern releases the raven-haired Polish "lost girl" with a kiss, we're back, fleetingly, to the identity schisms informing "Blue Velvet" and "Lost Highway" and "Mulholland."

I hope you can stay with it longer than me !!!

Intacto
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Apocalypto (2006)
8/10
Cracking Adventure Film !
9 January 2007
Cracking good film, I was expecting from its overtly Pretentious title, A film with wider issues with a resonance and philosophical slant on the demise of Mayan Civilisation,, But this was simply a bold, and frenetic Boys Own' adventure about a warrior called Jaguar Paw . ( Was it just me or does he have a a striking resemblance to Ronaldino) , being chased through the Jungle by some seriously scary blokes with bad teeth , to save his Wife and kids !!!!

Sheer Escapism with touches of Predator, The fugitive, Deliverance, Conan the Barbarian, Tarzan, The Mission, Gladiator and the National Geographic Channel. Forget those prudes who have slated the violence,, why don't you go and watch ' Miss Potter ' instead , I found the violence most involving and no less gratuitous than from your average episode of Taggert.. Knowing Gibson was at the helm is enough to create excitement and trepidation of impending doom and his graphic realisation never disappointed !!!! In addition the rythmically charged music and sweeping cinematography, exceptional
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10/10
Stunning Imaginative and complete ! Del Torro's Masterpiece
29 November 2006
A dark brutal and imaginative fairytale which draws/ pulls you in through the eyes of its innocent lead .. We are introduced to the 12 year old Ofelia played by the excellent Ivana Baquero as she arrives at a military outpost in the hills of rural Spain in 1944 ,, on meeting her psycho step father, Captain of a fascist team hunting guerrillas in the hillside , she retreats into a nightmarish world where the horrors of war pollute her childlike imagination ! Emotionally compelling, visually captivating, the claustrophobic atmosphere draws you in, It scares you and and moves you by its visual flair and brutal storyline from its beginning till end .. Sublime cinema where the acoustics excel and the removal of a leather glove can create a tone of power and style in itself ..

Please go and see this ... such a unique and haunting piece of work with several genres fusing to produce one of this years best movies

A visual and acoustic feast of sight and sound, A film, poetic, charming and violent where an alice in wonderland thematic strain gets the del torro makeover ,, With a harsh and very very real war.. !!

Intacto
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Casino Royale (2006)
6/10
James Bond .. Relatively Stirred not Shaken (SPOILERS)
28 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Watched this on Wednesday at a Ford Screening in London and came out feeling fairly satisfied with this latest offering from the Broccolis .. A complex tale of intrigue, middle men, money laundering , and Gambling at the Casino Royale with Daniel Craig in his first outing as Bond ! James Bond. The film engages you from the off with the usual whambamb action man sequences, the relentless set pieces are more like an Indiana Jones movie, dramatically spiced up with the Parkour free style running, edgy imaginative sets and use of height to scare the Living Daylights out of you !! .. Forget the popcorn you need a dozen red bull to keep u going in this energy sapping intro ! So what now for Bond well he keeps on going unbelievable so, and morphs into Bruce Willis in Die Hard with a Vengeance in an elaborate if not overly long Airport action scene which includes wait for it,, wait for it celebrity placement .. yes forget Sony, Rolex or Gucci ,, try Richard Branson !! The dialogue is minimal and the action is to the Max !!! So now we are in Montenegro and the intrigue begins with an exhausted Bond who decides to confront the kingpin of terrorist Money Laundering Chifre or as I know him Tommy out of The much acclaimed Danish pusher Trilogy .. It moves from the Motorway to the pedestrian sidewalk and ambles on with recurring exchanges between Bond and Chifre over a tense game of Poker playing for Zillions of money.

We are reminded of Bonds new darker violent side with scenes of sporadic violence which keeps the interest level above freezing as it moves closer to the two hour mark To be honest it never gets boring and is more than watchable but you begin to wonder and ask questions,, who is that ?? What is going on,, ? Are you joking ? the film becomes disjointed in places and the plot holes become an irritation and the cheesy lovey dovey scenes should have been shot at Dawn.. Do these people ever learn !!! The impressively imaginative finale on the 2hour 25 mark re energises the movie as the sparring moves to a Sinking venetion House with Bond evading more bullets than your typical Zombie !!! Entertaining enough
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The Prestige (2006)
10/10
Gothic brooding mystery
10 November 2006
Just to announce the The Pledge The Turn The Prestige !!!!

The Foundation and recurring narrative plot device of the stunning, dark and twisted period mystery thriller … The Prestige !!!!!!! I found myself totally absorbed in this carefully orchestrated jigsaw puzzle,,, It has the Gothic feel and look of a hammer house of horror or an elaborately varnished Tales of the Unexpected !!! With its detailed take on the art of illusion and feuding magicians at the turn of the Century it draws you in from its first breath to its last gasp !!! Please go and watch and absorb yourself in another time,, where magic and great names stole the stage ! and mystery captivated the masses

A must

Alistair
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United 93 (2006)
10/10
A Devastating Docudrama Examining Chaos and Self Preservation
2 June 2006
No words can describe this powerful examination of September 11th. This film grips you with its relentless real time expose of how the dramatic events of September the eleventh unfolded.. We are immediately introduced to the hijackers and passengers of Flight 93 then swept into the boiler rooms of America's skys led by Ben Sliney the Federal Aviation Administration Boss as himself .. From here we are introduced to the detailed chaos of traffic control following the increasing anomolaic movement of rogue numbers across a VDU.. with a gradual realisation of something new in conflict ! This is captured by the hectic audio mix of the control rooms and plane all aiding the cinematic style, creating a unified and consistent feel for the film

With secure knowledge of the what happened you cannot help but as a viewer grab control of the situation as The Army and American Airways fail to cope with the escalating chaos.. We spend time with the controllers as they track there targets until they simply disappear not realising the enormity of the situation.. Greengrass creates a feel of dread throughout, There is an ever growing urgency and with the backdrop of the world trade centre in smoke a sense of impending doom as communication breaks down to a bare silence . This is an astoundingly tense pressure cooker of a movie with a realism that pulls you in. Greengrass develops this tension with an intense soundtrack that ticks like a bomb...and a with quick egdy cutting creates an ever growing unease. United 93 is shot entirely with hand held cameras perfectly capturing the realism of the events placing you behind a seat on the doomed plane or in the military command room.. And what makes it more effective is his choice of Casting, throughout no recognized actors or big names..

An uncompromising piece of film making on how a super power fails to cope with unprecedented events and the examination of self preservation

Powerful Stuff
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Darkness Before Dawn (1993 TV Movie)
7/10
A real insight into the heartache of drug addiction
31 May 2006
This is one of the most accurate films about drug addiction I have seen dealing with not only one, but both people, in a relationship who are addicted to heroin.. The glossy mumsy feel soon fades away revealing the harrowing life of drug addicts in the middle class suburbia of America.. The acting is first class and the film hooks you in like its subject matter. An enthralling an realistic account of middle class, middle age domestic drug abuse.. Where concealment, deceit and theft gradually take over the lives of the main characters.. until the inevitable reconcilliation with life. I may never have a spliff again ! A real gem !!!
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8/10
Quirky and Emotional Comedy from Glasgow
18 May 2006
Not since old school days of Local Hero or Gregory's Girl have I had the pleasure of watching a real gem of a film from Scotland as ON A CLEAR DAY..

A tale of of a recently unemployed ship yard worker who seeks to heal the broken relationship with his grown up son after a tragic family accident..

Not from emotional grovelling but by setting himself an amazing challenge of swimming the English channel

Please check this out.. and swerve the American cheese-munger comedies. This is a neat and tidy comedy with raw emotion and a strong cast and plot to boot...
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10/10
An Exceptional Piece of Work
18 April 2005
This film is simply an amazing historical reflection by one of the great Iconic Players in American History. We are immediately drawn by the honesty and the intelligent charm of the Octogenarian, in his matter of fact recollections we see a man who's reasoning to talk is more on a cathartic level, candidly admitting errors of judgement impacting millions of peoples lives. The interview takes us through his life from Young army strategist, Industrialist to a Political Henchman and exploits striking imagery in the form of archived footage to highlight the issues discussed. The director cleverly weaves this footage highlighting the impact of horrors such as the blanket bombing of Japan or the atrocities in Vietnam... It is a unique style of film making with an innovative adhoc and spontaneous approach combined with an amazingly frank and candid subject whos alertness defys his age. .........essential viewing with an evocative and sinister soundtrack creating an impending edge .
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10/10
visceral, cutting gut wrenching revenge flick
5 March 2005
Wow where does one start, this simply blew me away, one of the best movies I have seen for 'donkeys' not since my viewing of Sweet Sixteen, Sling Blade, The Pledge or the Recently controversial 'Switchblade Romance' have I been so blown away by a movie. The central performance of Paddy Consadine makes De Niro in Taxi Driver look like a big Jessie !!! A tale of revenge when our anti-hero returns from his tour of duty to a typical Derbyshire town to confront the criminals who abused his mentally retarded brother. They are a raggety outfit, led by a convincing Gary Stretch ! the Face' of boxing of yesteryear.. It is visceral and raw, and with his menacing stealth Constantine gets under your skin as he picks his prey off one by one.

These are truly gut wrenching moments especially when he plays with his drug induced captives, very disturbing !!.

Early on there are also darkly comical moments that give the movie an added flavour and the finale unleashes a powerful denouement which sticks in your mind for a long time GO SEE NOT WITH YOUR GRANNY !!!!
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High Tension (2003)
10/10
Awesome daring provocative and non American !!!!!!
18 January 2005
OK forget the cheesemungers who slated this especially for its Ending... Just swerve them,, let them go and watch Jeepers Creepers or White Noise.. rent/buy the video .. check into a farm house on a stormy night, make sure your alone and switch off the lights and prepare yourself for a disturbing roller-coaster ride of terror, thrills and fright with an evocative and abstract soundtrack packed with guttural moans, unworldly booms and electrical hisses Its simply a masterpiece of horror especially the first 30 mins... they will blow you away.. its heavyweight horror with no holds barred chat with a willingness from the director to resort to outright repugnance, ,, a suspense slasher although nodding to the Slashers of the eighties goes out to shock you... not patronise you !!!and leaving us enticingly uneasy about just how far they'll go in their desire to shock !! And its French ...

Go watch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In subtitles of course strangely adding to the impact of the movie
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Frustrating Annoying mess
5 November 2004
Hi just read your review of I (whatever) Huckabees and on watching the film Premier in London last night laden with a bunch of Sycophantic Pretentious thespites I applaud you for expressing my feelings and thoughts in a literal context ! After the excitement of being introduced to the movie by Mr Russel in person we are compelled to enjoy this movie... but it was a huge disappointment No connection with the characters (only the actors managed to stop the total collapse) of this hotpotch of a movie! Not even quirky enough to make me smile along with the freebie people.. I must stress Jude Law's accent was one of the funnier moments ! This film draws from its Mum and Dad,, Darko and Magnolia far more subtly quirky and compelling movies which worked on Neurosis, horror genuine, coincidence ... etc

The script is a mess of pretentious buffoonery offering one point of connectivity where Alfred meets the African's parents...

Russels self indulgent trip into Hippy chic and meta literacy just frustrates and fails to capture the imagination....remember folks I really tried to stay with this but I had to cut the cord existential detectives don't do it for me ?

I loved Eternal Sunshine, Adaptation, Magnolia , Donnie Darko, Young Adam , Lantana, The Pledge, Being John Malcovich and do like risk takers, however this is frustration in its strongest self indulgent form !

Intacto
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Truly Awful
10 September 2004
As a somewhat pretentious film buff who prefers to dissect movies and observe Editing, camera work, quality acting, interesting story lines etc I decided to give this a chance as Mr Stiller gave us classics like Meet the Parents, and Zoolander , however this was from the outset a shocking experience,,, having to pretend not to be a paedophile in the queue from the eternal munching of popcorn, nachos and mindless laughter from a very low IQ sect of people.

The film was certainly no Dumb and Dumber but truly awful, acting was shocking, normal Stiller , story was pish and the comedy nil

PLEASE DON'T WATCH THIS FILM
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Mystic River (2003)
7/10
Gripping Intense Drama spoilt by ending !
28 October 2003
I thought Mystic River was a good film and a lot better than the hugely over rated 'Unforgiven' but nowhere near an excellent film, (Why not try 'The Pledge') The opening scene was terrific and the menacing kidnap set the scene for the ensuing story which offered so much and indeed delivered until the ridiculous end !

The acting was good apart from Tim Robbins and his wife, who need to understand that viewers are not to keen on 'overacting'

Location was excellent and the feel was great, especially the sweeping night shots from the Mystic River .. and why the reference anyway ?

And why hit us with the ridiculous deep and unrealistic schmaltz speech at the end , drawing close to the rocket science, introspective neurosis, deep thinking that most American child actors seem to adopt ! and unbelievable murder

That said I certainly enjoyed this cinematic experience and found the originality of the story and setting most appealing, and the characters engaging 7/10 !!!
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