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Reviews
Maestro (2023)
And the Oscar goes to......
...... the nose. Honestly couldn't take my eyes of the controversial hooter. This is yet another Netflix funded vanity project that allows us the honour of watching actors....er.....act. Ok I get this is about Lenny's relationship with his missus but come on he was a cultural giant of the 20th century and surely deserves better than old Brad doing an impression. He reminded me of, and apologies to non-British readers, Harry Enfield performing a parody of, you know, a famous conductor. Apparently his wife died of lung cancer which given the amount of cigarettes Brad/Lenny chugged during this pile of guff her passive intake must have been off the scale. Movie buff/nerds will love the tracking shots, the lengthy silences and the Woody Allen let's all talk over each other scenes (just like real people do ..no?). A snore fest folks. Rent West Side Story or On the Waterfront and enjoy the man's utter genius instead.
It Snows in Benidorm (2020)
Snoresville
I rarely turn off a film half way through but this pretentious little movie had me scurrying for the remote and deciding to empty the dishwasher for something better to do. From the minute Horace Wimp arrives at ...er .... Benidorm airport ( neatly giving Alicante the swerve) the film takes a humongous nose dive into film school self indulgence. As others have said Tim Spall is usually worth the admission price but here he grossly over eggs the pudding as the almost childlike sacked bank employee. By the time the burlesque performer pulls what looked like a piece of string out her front bum I was contemplating finishing today's sudoku. FC.
The Killer (2023)
Just ok
Anyone else notice his alias names were all from sitcoms? This unstoppable killer is so lucky to live in a world where CCTV doesn't seem to exist and therein lies the problem with these films. Too many incidents where you think to yourself "nah that wouldn't happen" He stakes out a target in a leafy NY suburb by basically sitting in his car and this attracts no attention. He tails a bad guy from his pad to a casino and the bad guy fails to notice he's being followed. Sorry but this kind of lazy storytelling infuriates me. Also ..... ach never mind, it's on Netflix and on a rainy Sunday night and Antiques Roadshow was a repeat whatyagonnado? Bizarrely AR is on the bad guy's telly when our hero arrives.
Virgin River (2019)
Hilarious
First up I'm really enjoying this show but the twists and turns that the inhabitants of this crazy town find themselves makes me laugh out loud. Also the succession of unexpected guests turning up is straight out of Soapwriting 1.0 as is the soapy how to express emotion acting, lots of deep sighs and shoulder rolling. Here's an idea for a drinking game. Every time a character says "l know this is none of my business/ I know I shouldn't say this" knock back a shot. Also how did Charmaine never show pregnant until now? But yes it's a scream and as I speak someone is in trouble for blabbing something she promised she wouldn't nuff said the drama continues.
The Monuments Men (2014)
A "Guys on a mission" movie.
George Clooney assembles a crack team of ... er..... art historians to rescue priceless works of art looted by a nasty bunch of German actors. Of all the heist movies made this one reminded me of my guilty pleasure Kelly's Heroes. Now, that's no bad thing as that film was enormous fun. Also hints of the Dirty Dozen and, well there was seven of them so have a guess. As another critic pointed out the cast mainly play themselves and it's always good to see the wonderful Bob Balaban pop up in anything. Cate Blanchett so good as ze Femme de resistance. Bizarrely another film it reminded me of was White Christmas... Mr Clooney really knows the buttons to press so grab your favourite snack and drink snuggle up to your loved one (or the missus) switch off brain and enjoy.
Guilt (2019)
1 and 2 brilliant 3 hmmm
Was looking forward to season 3 and first couple of episodes were good but towards the finale things got a bit confusing and hurried. Ticked all the usual boxes though, quirky music selection, sly wee fitba in jokes and jet black humour but too many what I call hang on a minute incidents. Mark Bonnar as Max one of the great bad guy good guy characters a master of the raised eyebrow. Bonnie Edinburgh locations but did I spy a Glesga street during a chase sequence? I'll keep an eye out for more stuff helmed by the fella Harkins very slick, pacey and err watchable. Keep up the good work and well done the BBC as they used to say on Points of View.
Ad Astra (2019)
Yeehaw
Someone help me out here. I'm trying to identify the cowboy movie that they cut and pasted the plot from onto this piece of hokey sci-fi. Some of the set piece scenes were laughable, old Brad flinging himself about space like a holiday hotel trapeze act or having a shoot out on the lunar surface with...err..moon pirates. Having said that switch your brain off, don't ask awkward questions stifle the giggles and it's a fairly decent Saturday nighter from our good pals at Netflix. Another question why do important science fiction female bosses appear on screen with both hand thrust firmly in the pockets of their stylish baggy breeks?
Godless (2017)
Yup
Wonderful, violent, gripping modern western if that's a thing. Superbly acted tremendous New Mexico landscapes and achingly beautiful scratchy fiddle soundtrack. Bill Pullman pulls off the old Henry Fonda trick about usually being known for nice guy roles but here gets his teeth into portraying an evil, murderous killer. Merrit Weaver (her out of Nurse Jackie) is so watchable as the sharpshootin' Calamity Jane character and supporting cast are all solid. Echoes of that cowboy classic Shane in the relationship between Roy Goode and Truckee) and you just know it's gonna end in one hell of a shoot out.
The Gold (2023)
You're nicked!!!!!
I think show creator Mr Forsyth must have been a huge fan of Euston Films in his youth as this series reminds me of the classic telly produced by that company. Think "The Sweeney" meets "Minder" meets "Fox". No bad thing I must add. I have enjoyed his previous work, Guilt being top notch (despite him being a DAB) don't worry he'll get that and it ain't offensive. I am slightly uneasy about the criminals being portrayed as Robin Hoody types all decent to old ladies and kids "Dahn va manah ". Make no mistake Noye was/is a psycho. As with Guilt
the music choices are superbly off centre. Gang of Four on prime time TV and an obscure Nick Lowe track a delight to hear. Terrific show now read the book.
You People (2023)
Embarrassing
I thought Glass Onion was going to be the worst Netflix movie of the year but no, along came this steaming pile of dog do. Did Nike sponsor the show? That would explain the not too subtle product placement. Nice to see the likes of Judd Hirsch and Richard Benjamin still getting a gig though. If there was a stereotype to be dug up it was and plastered all over the screen with huge pointy fingers in case you missed it. Was Ezra's friend a different kind of African American who he could talk to freely yet meeting the girl's family caused him to babble like a ten year old?? Duchovny was the most believable characters and he only had about three lines.
The Watcher (2022)
Scooby doo for I guess, adults
Take out the sex and swearing and ok the violence and this is a Nancy Drew Mystery aimed at I'm guessing gen x loafers who can't be arsed thinking... avoid at all cost (acting is decent to be fair... the cast must have had a blast). Every plot twist and turn telegraphed from a mile off and in case you missed it the private dick has an endless supply of contacts leading everyone by the nose.. Bobby what his face is usually in better stuff than this. American kids must be totally pissed off by continually being told to "sweety go upstairs/go to your room or go play it's ok) . And the pottery is *
Nobody (2021)
Avoid
If you have a brain or over 30 avoid this steaming pile of dog do... Odenkirk must have huge mortgage payments to take this on. I suspect there will be sequels. I'm not against violence or ludicrous plot lines but the gaping chasms in the story were too glaring to file under "it's only a movie " Suitable for gamers I would imagine.
Belfast (2021)
Corny
I'd love to hear the viewpoint of any native of Belfast who lived through the troubles.
Catholics and Prods living in a sunkissed jolly street party running in and out of each other's houses .... Nah.
Greeting each other merrily with a tip of the hat .... it's Brigadoon.
Mr Singh? No chance.
Post funeral party with hot six piece band complete with horn section and Jamie Doorman forgetting to sing into the mic.
Buddy (really?) with a Catholic class crush.
Avoid this sugar fest of a film at all costs.
Corner Gas (2004)
Brilliant then not so
Been watching over lockdown and it has been a joy. But by season 5 the writers seem to have decided to alter a loveable bunch of small town screwballs into a parade of village idiots. Episodes now consist of the cast wading through increasingly dopey and unfunny scenarios. Such a shame. I'll stick with for now and give the animated version a try. Also loved the movie.