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Reviews
Fire Country (2022)
So... lemme guess.
I'm leaving this review prior to watching the entire episode, but will come back and edit/add as needed.
2 minutes into "Fire Country" and I'm like... oh. So it's a firefighter version of SEAL team. A hard luck case. Overall a good guy that has a chip on his shoulder. Constantly trying to get out from the shadow of his past and wants to prove himself. Bet he'll have a team leader that's a legend and gives him the constant side eye but sees promise. Another team member that gives him hell all the time but becomes his best friend. Then there will be a chick that's way out of his league and they'll fall in love. Blah blah blah.
Ok. So after watching I guess the only thing I forgot to mention was the connection of Bode having a father that does the same job. Cause they did that in SEAL Team as well. With an actor that looks like his other TV dad. Wonder if he gets cancer too?
Interceptor (2022)
Worst 11 minutes I've had in a while.
Yes, 11 minutes. Exactly. That's how long I lasted watching this.
As prior service, I saw no less than a dozen mistakes in that time alone. I'd have spent the rest of the movie facepalming and couldn't bear to continue. Just plain awful. Trying to play off the success of the lead when she was in the Fast series. Didn't go well. This was worse than the Van Damme movie "Second In Command". This movie could only be used to encourage you to fall asleep.
DMZ (2022)
72 issues of source material and the BEST you could do is 4 episodes?
So, it's "I Am Legend" without zombies, then cross it with "Escape From New York" but no Kurt Russell.
After waiting 8 years... EIGHT YEARS. She goes back to search for her son that she, in reality, abandoned. Did she expect him to be all Hallmark movie and run to hug her? Lol.
This miniseries is perfection for those with ADHD. You can get into it and be done before you lose interest. Except I was losing it in the forst 15 minutes of E1.
Alien: Battlefield Earth (2021)
Absolutely horrible.
It looks like it was shot with a Galaxy S3 phone that hadn't been updated. The acting was forced. The CGI was on par with that from the 70's. Just terrible. If you had the money you could have had a decent cast and better tech to shoot this like it should have been. The premise and basic story was good. But the execution failed miserably.
Fortress (2021)
Outrageously pathetic
Between the horribly mishandled firearms (same armored they used on "Rust"?) And the uniforms seemingly made my a blind quadriplegic with items found in a surplus store dumpster, this movie failed so much it meets to repeat 2nd grade. If I was so destitute that I had to choose this or being hired as a pincushion for used heroin needles, I'd have to take a day to think about it.
The Queen Family Singalong (2021)
I watched, and instantly regretted it.
The out of sync vocals to audio. The fact that some sound engineer likely hates one of the Broadway cast since they gave them the voice of a shrieking cat. Then that Jojo just has the complete inability to appear threatening. Derek looked like if someone who had only heard what a biker looked like was given a thrift store gift card and told to create a costume. Musicians that were not playing live. (Seriously? Is that against COVID protocols?) Jimmy Allen did a great job, despite having to work with a puppet.
This show used prerecorded vocals and then put them in with all the audio presentation of 5 cent beer night karaoke. The entire show felt like an hour long tik-tok fail compilation. Truly a kick in the sack to Queen.
Red Dawn (2012)
Casting. 1 bad apple.
Josh Peck was a poor, poor choice. Another actor could have made this movie light years better.
Thunder Force (2021)
THE worst superhero movie I have ever seen.
Worse than Justice League, Green Lantern, Steel and the 1990 Captain America.
It's like Melissa called in favors from friends and didn't let them see any of the script except the scenes they were in to hide the rotting pile of garbage this film is.
Superintelligence (2020)
I was rooting for the end.
End of the movie. End of the world. Etc.
Patient I was transporting picked this movie. Now, little did he know that Melissa McCarthy ranks close to cheese and Taylor Swift on my list of "Things I absolutely cannot stand".
Story was "feel-good" enough.
MacGyver: Jack + Kinematics + Safe Cracker + MgKNO3 + GTO (2021)
So... you killed Jack.
I'm gonna start with the episode itself. All in all we'll done. Not the story I wanted to have shown. But a story we needed for some type of closure. Over all it had all the essential requirements of a Mac episode. Especially the happy, albeit bittersweet, ending.
So, you waited to kill off Jack. I get it. Covid screwed up a lot. I get that filming in Atlanta meant George had to fly from L.A. you wanted him to relocate. He didn't want to. But it's still possible to have kept him on. Reduce his appearances etc. Jack Dalton is an integral part of the MacGyver story. And allowing this to happen only makes this show more MacGyver than Macgyver. There HAD to have been some wiggle room on the negotiation.
And for goodness sake at least call one of the thousands of military technical advisors that are undoubtedly available to your studio. Have them bring a copy of AR 670-1 along and make sure your uniforms don't look like a soup sandwich. Last time I saw uniforms that bad the guy has CSM stripes AND a star on his shoulder. If you really can't afford one. Hit me up. I'll do it for a plane ticket & hotel. (A date with Levy? Oh and for Mac to rig up an AED cause my heart will likely stop if I met her.)
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
You were expecting a 2020 blockbuster action flick...
What we got was something that looks like it was out of the 80's... and I thought it was great. I didn't expect this to be mind-blowing. What I expected were nods to classic WW and some fun. It delivered.
Stick around after the credits folks.
Darling Nikki (2019)
Absolutely awful.
Writing... elementary.
Acting... forced and overdone
Cinematography... amateur
Overall... if this is the movie aliens first see when they arrive. We are all doomed.
Jaeger (2020)
To call this garbage, would insult garbage.
Glad to see cast and crew giving 10s. Cobb, Callender, etc.
Did you actually watch the movie you were in?
Because you sound like Mom's saying their kid is best when they are absolutely atrocious.
I made movies like this in Middle School. With a camcorder we bought at Goodwill and my friends as actors.
Except mine had a plot.
Secret Society of Second-Born Royals (2020)
A good flick for what it is.
So many here cannot suspend disbelief for the length of a movie meant for kids.
But yet:
You can believe a single snap eliminates half the universe.
You can travel into another person's dreams.
Convince kids to put out milk & cookies for a fictional, benevolent fat guy.
You believe politicians, even ones that have lied to you for decades.
This is a Disney movie. You know that going in. Just watch and enjoy.
Mulan (2020)
Dishonor on bad reviews.
Seriously? People whine and cry for years that there aren't enough strong female characters. You then get on here and bash this movie?
The story of Mulan is not YOUR story. It is hers. One that can inspire young girls to rise. Become who they are inside. Yeah, I quoted the song. The one you're so upset isn't really in the movie.
Boo-hoo. They didn't include Mushu. GOOD! The character in the original was a mockery of tradition and belief. The update holds closer to Chinese tradition and custom.
This is a clean, empowering, family friendly movie. It seeks to instill a strong sense of moral character. To be loyal, brave and true. And it DID IT!
The same of you that post that little girls shouldn't be called "bossy" probably reviewed this movie poorly. It's not the Mulan you were spoon-fed in 1998. It isn't, by a longshot, the same world.
Kudos to the cast and crew. This Mulan kicks....
Oh, my bad. Disney movie.
Mulan rocks.
A Second Chance (2011)
They could at least act like they're acting...
Movie was selected by a patient on an ambulance transport. 100% not my choice.
Writing was choppy and so disconnected I could barely follow the story. No character development, backstories were minimal or non-existent. Cinematography was poor at best. Framing of shots looked more like it was done by people in elementary school.
With as many as they did, this movie should have been named "Montage".
And the use of the blatant "Eye of the Tiger" ripoff was pointless drivel.
Yellowstone: Cowboys and Dreamers (2020)
Ebb and flow. The river keeps on running.
Out of the gate this episode answers the question of the rift between Beth and Jamie. As a child she discovers she is pregnant. Rather than go to the local Planned Parenthood, Jamie takes her to the nearby Reservation for an abortion. But the twist, get it in town and have her secret discovered, or get it done on the rez. Where abortions also mean sterilization.
Another rancher, overcome by financial hardship, takes his life. Kacey is forced to decide between what is legal, and what is right. A choice he must make on his own, before getting help from his father.
A new danger rears its head when shady characters move Buffalo near the Dutton ranch. Endangering their fences, their livestock and their wallet.
And the togetherness of the hands is shown after a hard day of dangerous work.
Work hard, play hard.
Undercover Grandpa (2017)
A fun, feel-good flick.
Quite cheesy. Somewhat predictable. But I've always been a fan of James Caan. A great bit of adventure, action and comedy. Not to mention some really awesome unexpected actors showing up and adding to the story.
Vagrant Queen (2020)
I tried hard to like this show.
The acting is forced. The special effects are Commodore 64 level. The story is, to quote the first episode, "I saw this in a movie once." It takes Star Wars, Firefly, and Degrassi. Then it removes the portions of those shows with substance and intelligence. Finally it tries to channel Thor: Ragnarok with attempts at clever imgery.
And Ta-da! Vapid Queen... oops. I meant Vagrant.
There is a sci-fi show I'll watch every single day - Not Yours.
Magnum P.I.: A World of Trouble (2020)
Ok, I get the wild left turn. But really?
So, as the "couple" plans their wedding, a mew case emerges. A modern day Robin Hood donates needed items to a school. The case storyline was thin at best. The real story was the decisiom on the wedding. For the writers to go the route of switching up to T.C. at the 11th hour seems a desperate attempt to make something from nothing. We all want Magnum and Higgins together. LET IT HAPPEN. If it drags beyong the finale on the 8th, I'll not be back to watch season 3.
The Hunt (2020)
Wait... this wasn't a comedy?
I laughed hysterically throughout. From Emma "Yoga Pants" getting ventilated in the beginning all the way to the 2 mains fighting at the end. I won't watch a 2nd time as the 1st viewing made my head hurt from the idiocy that the rich folks could pull off killing thst many folks without needing a safe space. But it was a good 1 time watch.
Playing with Fire (2019)
Pleasant surprise.
So, I did not go into watching this wanting to like it at all.
I knew from the start this would be a feel good, family friendly comedy that would have a happy ending.
The movie starts with the smokejumpers saving folks trapped by fire. Overly dramatic and unbelievable. But still kinda fun. As things progress the campy comedy spreada like... er... wildfire?
Cena's character is the no-nonsense, all go leader of a rag tag group of smoke jumpers. Despite the loss of key members manages to get it done. Leguizamo's character is by far my favorite (after all, John is a great actor) with the 99.99999% mute "Axe" a close 2nd.
The team reacues 3 kids trapped in a fire and brings them to their base to stay and wait out a storm. What follows echoes many other simlar, softening of a hard heart, stories. (Side note. Took me half the movie to realize who the oldest daughter was the girl who played the brilliantly snarky Negasonic Teenage Warhead in Deadpool 1 & 2)
In the end, Cena getz the girl and they, along with the kids, become a family. Normally, I wish I couldn't see Cena (yeah, another cheesy reference) but I was pleased with how Nickelodeon Studios took this story. If you want a fun flick with great physical comedy and adorable kid stars to occupy a little time, give it a watch.
40 Days and Nights (2012)
The Titanic sinking wasn't this bad.
OK, so 1st off. The head of the costume department should have gone to a thrift store. The military uniforms are plain awful. In terms others who have been in the military will understand they are totally A.T.F.U.
I have seen better acting from a McDonalds manager apologizing for an incorrect order.
The saving grace of this movie is that there is no real questionable material. No cursing, sexual scenes (ok, one make-out session but only kissing) no graphic violence. Maybe a child could watch this and not see how bad he SFX and acting is.
The only thing that I enjoyed about this movie was the end. No, not the *not a spoiler alert folks* culmination of the story where the hero saves the day or fails and all is lost. But THE END. When the movie was over.
Noah (2014)
If there was a flood, I hope this movie wouldn't make it on the ark.
Hey folks. Just got done watching Noah. Although, it felt more like 2012 meets Gladiator meets Lord Of The Rings.
Set aside your religious beliefs. Read the account in the Bible. Then watch the movie. I'll wait...
Welcome back. OK, so what did you think? Yeah, same here. Rock monsters and such. Never mentioned in the biblical account.
You argue, "but other movies take license and add things". Well fine, I'll go re-edit Glory and equip all of the 54th with M4's. Maybe a few .50 cal sniper rifles and such. See what I mean? If they would have stuck to the original story, it wouldn't have been as exciting or much of a blockbuster flick. But I would have actually enjoyed it for telling the story as it was written.