Saturns_Illusionist Reviews

Casper Meets Wendy (1998 Video)

Utter, Relentless, Mind Numbing Tripe so HORRIBLE I was Embarrassed Watching it.

[1/10 · 17 January 2004]

I thought that it would get better, but a bad movie only got worse. At several points I actually was embarrassed for the movie while watching it, but you know how "time invested" goes. I kept hoping that it might get better. The acting was horrible. Unfortunately, she was surrounded my incompetent actors/actresses and an obviously horrible director. Whoever gave this horrible film anywhere between 6-10 stars has only seen about three movies in their life. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. With relentless emotional manipulation piled on top of wooden acting & a dreadful script. See how bad the world treats Wendy. See how good this young witch is to her ghost friend. How pure her love, how corrupt & selfish the "normal" witches/ghosts are. Blah blah blah. Pass me that empty popcorn bag, I'm gonna barf. It isn't that the story hasn't got a point, but that it is horrifically overplayed, the message being delivered in industrial amounts. It's like expecting a teaspoon of sugar in your coffee & getting 8lbs of salt dumped in it instead.T he clumsy manipulation isn't limited to the script, with wooden, cliched characterization & horrible directorial tricks. The budget couldn't have been more than $1000. The lighting and sound qualities were just awful, just horrible. The special effects were cheesy and cheap. Everything seems not to be this film's strong point & wherever there is a chance to drive a point home with a sledgehammer the opportunity is taken to do so with obvious enthusiasm. Horrible cast. Terrible cliche plot. Lame lame lame lame lame jokes (if you can even call them jokes). This movie is the reason ABC is the worst network on television. George Hamilton is simply diabolically bad, unconvincing and puke inducing as Desmond Hamilton. Teri Garr ambles through looking like she's smelt something bad. The rest of the cast simply wallow around, subsumed by the crushing sentimentality.This whole film stinks. Hilary does not shine in this film. Whoever says that she's a good actress has only seen three movies in their life. She's downright atrocious. She makes funny or unnecessary facial expressions. And I'm not going to give her a break because she was 11. I feel very very very very very very very very very sorry for the people who think this film is excellent and gave it ten or nine stars and think Hilary shines in this film. When you consider how many great film ideas never get anywhere you have to wonder just how this pile of dog poop ever got on to the screen. I gave it a "1" on the IMDB voting, but I would have given it a big, fat zero if I could have.

The Hole (2001)

A Near Perfect Film That is Thrilling, Makes You Think and Well-Acted

[14 January 2004]

I am a huge Thora Birch fan, not only is she a great actress but almost all the movies she makes are excellent. One day I ran into this rare, underestimated gem of a movie at the video store, since it starred Thora I decided to rent it.

When I popped it in I just couldn't stop watching. Not once did I excuse myself for snacks or bathroom breaks, like I always do whenever a film starts to get boring. I loved the artistic direction and the great acting. I just dig those posh British accents! The Hole is one of the finer thrillers of 2001. Just when you think you know what's going to happen next, it throws you a curb. It's about a group of private-school teenagers who secretly uncover an old, World War 2 hole and decide to explore it. They accidentally get stuck when something goes wrong and the four friends are deprived of water, food and air. Liz's escape from the hole is the backbone of the story, it keeps on showing flashbacks of the event itself. Liz casts her mind back two weeks to when she was an innocent schoolgirl with a mad crush on Mike ,the son of an American rock star and the coolest guy on the planet. Not that he'd notice her, of course, with her mousy brown hair, unsophisticated clothes and uncool image. She would do absolutely anything to get his attention. It's Martin who makes everything happen. Martin -- the school weirdo, an introverted computer whiz who is as in love with Liz as she's in love with Mike. Whatever Liz wants, Martin will get, no matter what the cost to him emotionally. And it so happens that he's arranged for Mike, Mike's best friend Geoff and Frankie, the queen of the girls' dorm, to escape the boring end-of-term geography field trip and spend three days hiding out in a secret underground bunker. He will arrange for Liz to join the party. For Liz, it's a dream come true -- three days with the coolest kids in school, handsome jock Geoff, beautiful Frankie and charming Mike, her soul mate, her Prince Charming, the man she's meant to be with.When Liz finishes her story, it's obvious to Philippa that the girl before her is deeply traumatized, unable to face up to the horrible reality of her friends' deaths. The police, meanwhile, have arrested Martin. In the interrogation room, he's aloof and arrogant.

As he begins his version of events, a terrible truth begins to emerge, a truth that will expose the full horror of an obsessive love, a love that will stop at nothing to be fulfilled...

I was expecting your average teen horror story, like I Know What You Did Last Summer or Freddy vs Jason. In a way it's disturbing, but it's got moving and powerful moments as well.

The acting was very good in this film. I enjoyed Keira Knightley playing a different role. Sure she is kind of bubbly for some of the movie, but she was also the caring & careless queen bee for the rest of the movie. It was great to see her show some emotions. Desmond Harrington was also good as Mike, Liz's obsession, the normal boy with famous parents. Embeth Davitz plays the psychologist working with the police, who is determined to find the answer to what happened to Liz. The downside to her character was she wasn't in the film as much as I would have liked to see her in it since she's such a wonderful actress but while she was in the film, she played her character very well. Daniel Brocklebank plays the school weirdo, an obsessed computer whiz who is as much in love with Liz as she's in love with Mike and he played his character well, even though at times I doubt he played the role since it seemed like the perfect role for him. As for the rest of the actors and actresses, they were probably the finest I have seen in British movies.

The script was great! Ben Court is a pretty good script writer, considering it was his first try. I enjoyed the movie a lot as I am sure you have already picked up from my review so far. I liked the script because it showed how real pain, jealousy and forbidden passion can be. It was a nice movie which showed the teenagers going from spoiled and rich to dirty and surviving on their own. It was nice to see a script that mixed both comedic and dramatic moments so perfectly. I would like to say good job Ben Court I applaud your work on this script, keep it up. The director, Nick Hamm, did a great job on directing the movie. He knew how to put the movie together. I was surprised Nick Hamm did such a great job on this film since his last films were the mildly enjoyable Talking to Angels and the awful Harmfulness of Tobacco. It's amazing that he too was able to catch the emotions that were in the movie. The movie portrays the average teens but in today's world I guess we can say the not so average teens and how life is for them in the hole. It's a very moving movie as I already mentioned above and the director really caught all the difficulties and good moments in the time they were stuck in it l.

So in conclusion, The Hole was everything I hoped it to be. It was better than I expected it to be and touched me very much. I can relate to the movie in some sense. I think that's why I really got emotional at the end of the film and cried because it's sad but it's not really that sad that someone should cry at the end. I liked the movie a lot. It was very good and thrilling. I cannot see anyone turning it off this film saying its bad. It's a film, which I think almost anyone can enjoy. It's not full of stupidity but has on-the-edge-of-your-seat moments. It has some comedy, which is always good in a film as well. To me the film is the perfect British teen drama/thriller/mystery. I give The Hole a very high rating of a 9/10.

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003)

Brilliant, Stirring, Richly Realized Adaption

[10 January 2004]

The work of Johannes Vermeer, the Dutch genius of the light, has an out-of-time quality similar to the Mona Lisa. They seem to leap forward, from the middle of the 1600s' to a photographic embrace as a voluptuous nexus of shadows and color. In Girl With a Pearl Earring, Colin Firth with the flowing, long musketeer hair that bring out a certain erotic dynamism he hasn't quite shown us before, plays Johannes Vermeer quietly with the intensity of someone possessed, as he were looking straight through people instead of at them. The movie, based on Tracy Chavalier's novel of the same name and directed by Peter Webber, is the story of Johannes Vermeer created his paintings, the rapturous Girl With a Pearl Earring brings off something that very few dramas about painters do. It makes you see the world through new eyes. Scarlett Johansson plays Griet, the teenager who serves as a maid at the bourgeois, noisy Vermeer household, only to become the painter's muse in secret. Scarlett Johansson, who may just give you Scarlett fever after you watch this, radiates sensuality with her overly plump lips, milky white skin, shy, all-seeking sorbs and the glorious white cap covering her head. Johansson gives us a almost silent performance yet the expressions on her beautiful face of courage, ignorance, fear and sexuality all are intensely dramatic. Griet's connection to Johannes hardly even needs to be consummated. Notably Vermeer's wife, for all her pettiness and jealously, really seems like an aging mirror image of Griet. The film's soap opera-esque forbidden passion and jealousy is middlebrow but when Griet poses for a painting, the whole scenario is based on her one look, as if across the century gap reaches out to us. Alakina Mann (from The Others who plays Cornelia here) is amazing, you can't take your eyes off her whenever she appears on screen, she puts on a wonderful performance and I'm sure she'll become a big star in the next few years. The scenery and set pieces are just beautiful, the people are beautiful, the performances are beautiful, everything about this film is beautiful. Highly recommended!

Chasing Liberty (2004)

Another Successful Upbeat Romantic Comedy

[9 January 2004]

So, if you are looking for a movie like The Pianist or The English Patient, this is not the movie to see. It is by no means intellectually taxing or cinematic excellence, but then again it doesn't try to be. If you seek a fun, upbeat romantic comedy that can serve as an hour and a fifty minute distraction from reality I reccomend this film. Chasing Liberty is amusing and funny and the young stars are successfully endearing. Audiences will not walk out of the theater intellectually lightened but that is not the movie's intention. After viewing the movie you'll feel optimistic and light-hearted. Matthew Goode and Mandy Moore are both adorable as rebellious teens. Basically, go to see Chasing Liberty if you want a small morsel to make you temporarily blissful and please do not hold up to standards you know it couldn't meet, which is why these romantic comedies get such low scores. This movie should be accepted for what it is, a typical romantic comedy, not an Oscar contender but a guilty pleasure that may end up on my DVD shelf to cheer me up and laugh when I'm having a bad day. Give it a chance, you may like it!

The title of it and the premise may make it sound like an annoying chick flick geared toward teenyboppers (which is partly what it is) and I did have some hesitation going to see it.

Three words: go see it! It's funny, romantic and sweet without being too sappy. It's one of the best new romantic comedies out this season! The audience who I was with laughed several times, but the great thing is that it didn't resort to toilet-humor, sex-related jokes or slapstick humor to be funny. I can't really even figure out why it got a PG-13 rating, except for the brief nudity, I'd recommend it to pre-teens, even though the best audiences would be teenage girls. The casting choices are perfect and everyone in the movie performed wonderfully. Even the actors/actresses who had smaller parts, like James Foster, the overprotective president dad and Cynthia, are great in their parts. I predict this may be a hit-no I'm not saying it's Citizen Kane or The African Queen. . .it won't win any Academy Awards or end up in the top 250, but if you want to have a ball at the movies, I recommend it!

The Battle of Shaker Heights (2003)

Above Average, Shia LaBeouf is Excellent

[9 January 2004]

*Some possible plot spoilers*

In the second helping of HBO's Project Greenlight series, Shia LaBeouf plays Kelly, an eccentric high school student whose anger is geared toward his dad, a recovering druggie but is challenged only by his passion for war reenactments. Though is fast-approaching future seems to be destined as a supermarket stock boy, Kelly manages to fall for a beautiful woman who is way too old for him and get sweet revenge on a bully. First-time directors Efram Potelle and Kyle Rankin and script-writer Erica Beeney crafts clever, cute lines create an intriguing character. The charm of this movie all boils down to the star, Shia LaBeouf. He's nearly in every scene, and his delivery of lines and expressions are just priceless. He, unlike the Olsens, actually seems to study and rehearse his lines and role. LaBeouf's performance with his curly haired brashness and innate tragic/comedic timing, deserves a lot of the credit. There are no extras, but we've already been behind the scenes at running time. The real question is whether the end product justifies the meaning.

Honey (2003)

Is There Such Thing as Too Many Hip-Hop Dance Moves?

[9 January 2004]

Sadly, there will never be another Glitter. That misbegotten mess of untamed vanity and insanity was never distinguished by its tragic celbri-trash idiocy and Mariah Carey's tragic acting skills. There's nothing really idiotic about Honey, the latest hip-hop after-school special on Beat Street. In fact, there's nothing about it at all-this is just Hollywood fullfilling its overdue community-service hours, truly and sweetly. Jessica Alba goes from a dark angel to a street angel, flashing her beatific smile and her glistening abs and her beatific navel as she balances a meteoric dance career with the Bronx 'hood. So supposedly superior are her dance moves (standard club gyrations mixed with ballet flourishes) that she captivates the hip-hop industry in mere weeks, after being plucked from clubworld by a powerful video director. Honey is fixated on stage cameos at the expense of its very short dance sequences and the idol-worshipping understates the movie's anti-bling moralism. Despite some sizzle with her love interest, the beautiful Jessica Alba ends up a *major sigh* desexualized mouthpiece for lines such as "I see kids go from bad homes to bad schools and back". On the sunny side, it does have a fair chance at winning the Democratic Party nomination it got.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

A Gripping Script, Superb Acting but Somewhat Jumbled Premise. . .

[8 January 2004]

Sixteen-year-old Ginger is tough and edgy, with her younger sister in tow, into photographing death. Her and her sister have even made a pact about dying together. On a dark October night, the night of a full moon, Ginger has her first period and a werewolf bites her. Within only a matter of a few days, her body and temperment withgo some huge changes. Her sister, Brigitte is trying to cure Ginger with the help of a doper named Sam, they are racing the clock against the fast-approaching Halloween and the quickly-coming full moon, it isn't just the dogs who are beginning to die.

Katherine Isabelle has made her mark with a truly sensational performance reminiscent of a young Linda Blair. She plays her character well, even at times I doubt she even played the role because it seemed too perfect for her. She is very talented and I hope she gets more big screen shots in the future. She's also very beautiful too. I would even recommend this to boys, even though it's aimed at girls. The plot is a little weird, but excellent none the less. Emily Perkins is extraordinarily brilliant, but she's kind of in Katherine Isabelle's shadows. Emily Perkins is still amazing, you can't take your eyes off her every time she appears on screen, she puts on a great performance and I'm sure she'll become a huge star in the next few years.

This story is not told with any type of lear notion or intent. Fawcett chooses a twitchy, skipping framework in which to bring forth this tale of anguish. Right from the beginning,the audience plunged into the story. There is little to no understanding of who these people are or what is being shown. All this visual film information takes about a full film reel to adjust to the rhythms of this picture and it's characters.

In all, this movie is above most I've seen. It is fantastic, well acted and while not altogether realistic, fun to watch. Rent it with a friend to watch, you won't be dissapointed. If you haven't seen it yet you are missing out on a super cool movie! The only thing I really didn't like about this movie is the werewolf, it looked so fake.

Amazing movie overall, I'd give it an 8.5/10.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004)

Fun, Cute and Entertaining. Better Than Your Average Teen Movie.

[6 January 2004]

"Win a Date With Tad Hamilton" is about Rosalee Futch (Kate Bosworth), a small-town girl who wins a date with (who else?) heartthrob, A-list male celebrity Tad Hamilton, the date goes way better than planned, a triangle forms between the girl, her best male friend (who has a secret crush on her) and the male celebrity.

At the end of the wildly successful "Young Americans" and "That 70s Show", Topher Grace and Kate Bosworth are ready to hit the big-screen with this motion picture. This isn't exactly a gigantic film departure, but it will do. It features the same pre-teen/teen comedy feel and the characters haven't been mucked with much too make the experience more palatable for unacquainted audiences. What the film does is take the familiar surroundings of a regular teen comedy out of familiar surroundings and bring them to a very small town where all new shenanigans can happen. Oddly, though, the focus is more on Rosalee, Pete and Tad with with precious few moments set aside for the chubby best friend, Cathy.

he directorial choice isn't a very unusual one. Robert Luketic's last film was the highly fun, surprise summer smash hit "Legally Blonde" which makes this a fun choice for a PG-13 comedy which is as fun and surprisingly good as this one. Luketic isn't the best man to put behind the camera (though he is good) for the film, as his fondness for pratfalls and montages set to cover versions of fast-moving, catchy songs is a little tough to swallow. But reliably enough, the steadfast formula for "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton" comes back into play, and the film is a delightful, sugary treat. If it isn't exactly high art, it is a fun teen-girl romp that traffics in cute boys, hip outfits, and loads of pop music. Throw in some light morals about friendship, fame, and trust, along with adorable scenes of crushes on heartthrob male movie stars (who doesn't love Josh Duhamel?). The last scene in the film drew a resounding mixture of screams from the girls, and `icks` from the boys in the audience), and there's something to recommend for everybody.

The charm of `Win a Date With Tad Hamilton' has always boiled down to star Kate Bosworth. Bosworth is a proficient comedic actress, and clearly doesn't find `Win a Date' much of a stretch. The film mainly serves as the aforementioned goodbye to "Blue Crush" image, and another chance to plug Bosworth as a teen actress, which she is aggressively pursuing in real life. She does have a nice, faintly ordinary acting skills, but she's much more fun in the dramatoc acting department. Now that her teenage comedy days are over, it will be fun to see what Bosworth tackles next. Hopefully something dramatic.

My friend (who I saw it with) was about as far removed from the target demographic as he can get for `Win a Date With Tad Hamilton,` and he had a lot of fun with it. I can only imagine how much more special this film is for fans of Kate Bosworth who aren't looking forward to saying goodbye. This is a nice and bittersweet, but fitting, conclusion. --------- 8/10

Agent Cody Banks (2003)

Bore Galore

[1/10 · 1 January 2004]

Harald Zwart (who wrote and directed the great Norwegian short film "Parents") directed this shot, that could be seen as a curious mixture between Robert Rodriguez's "Spy Kids", Ian Fleming's "James Bond series" and those Saturday morning cartoons, however real action buffs should be warned: there´s nearly no action and nearly no suspense in this flick, even the above-mentioned films are more exciting than "Agent Cody Banks"! The synthesizer-score sounds like as if it was stolen from Fleming´s movies or Rodriguez's series and the only notable thing is the appearance of "Baywatch babe"-legend Angie Harmon - unfortunately, she doesn´t save the film at all! Yawn...

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Entertaining, Spunky, Appealing Story with Great Content, Cute Kids and Clever Dialogue, but it's Nothing Special

[1/10 · 31 December 2003]

This is a real "feel good" movie-I thought it was absolutely adorable. Even though it was not a heavy drama it was still a delightful film. I am a big fan of Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt. It's not a bad movie despite what a lot of detractors say-the script is appealing and spunky. This is a typical, feel-good and predictable movie. Regardless; nice entertainment and good acting. Not exactly for audiences that want deep meaning behind a film, but for those who like quality, cute kids and 12 different subplots, it is a must see! I admit that even Duff was quite cute in her role,but most of the time she was incredibly bubbly and gooey. Her role was small, it was really the little kids who stole the show. The movie is funny, enjoyable, and interesting. A good film. By no means is this film intellectually taxing, or complicatedly structured, but then, it doesn't pretend to be. it's a simple family comedy which features all of the expected codes and conventions for the genre. I can honestly see the appeal of the talented Bonnie Hunt, she was the best part of this film, she was quite believable as the mother. Steve Martin had occasional funny moments which slipped into the film, but were quickly overrun by silliness and cliche. It did have minor plot holes, and the kids were kind of paired off. This was a cute movie, nothing more or nothing less. The main reason I truly enjoyed this film, aside from the fact that Bonnie Hunt, a comedian that is actually funny and talented was in it, was that how adorable and talented the kids were. Sometimes this movie was misguided and sugary, it's still enjoyable and sweet. It was touching, the actors and actresses did well, and the dialogue was humorous. At no point I was wishing it would end. It really makes you think about life and how it works. I would recommend it to anybody who likes a feel-good movie. The kids and parents have excellent chemistry. I saw it with a few of my friends and they absolutely adored it! A bonus for all you girls out there: Tom Welling and Ashton Kutcher are both very attractive. With big-name stars like Ashton Kutcher and Hilary Duff, it's sure to get your teenage daughter or son to watch. It's about Tom and Kate Baker, who are married and have 12 children. After the they've created a well-oiled machine of family, the Tom Baker gets a job offer he can't refuse, but it requires them to move out of there rural Illinois to the Chicago in the suburbs. Kate finds a publisher for her book, based on her life and she must go to New York, leaving Tom alone with twelve kids. He can't balance the fine line between family life and work life. All in all, an enjoyable easy-going film, well worth the hour and a half it takes to watch. I would give Cheaper by the Dozen a well-deserved 7/10! For it pleased me so much! I can't wait to get it on DVD.

Blackout (I) (2001 TV Movie)

Quite Good

[31 December 2003]

This film is about Kathy Robbins (Jane Seymour) and her two children, Blair(Alexandra Picatto, in a moving and remarkable performance) and David (William Russ) who are stuck in a mall during a power outage while police hunt for a killer. Alexandra Picatto's performance in suspense movie "Blackout" with Jane Seymour, where Picatto played Seymour's 17-year old daughter was really great. This teen with very bright, brown eyes, was one of the most ominous characters I have ever seen in this motion picture. The plot and storyline I thought was good. I liked the storyline that you can achieve your dreams. I wonder if she is going to make more movies, I sure hope so. She is so talented plus she was awesome in here. And for viewers young and old, it's a great film, on my scale, I give this film a well-deserved 10/10! For it pleased me so much!

Hilary Duff: All Access Pass (2003 Video)

Unfortunately, a Very Unsatisfying DVD.

[1/10 · 25 December 2003]

Unfortunately, this DVD only confirms the beliefs of those who attribute Hilary Duff's great success to her image and appearance. The only way someone may genuinely enjoy this DVD is if they are interested in seeing Duff in person instead of just hearing her voice (but why would that be important to anyone?) It is difficult not to notice that this DVD lacks interesting subject matter, and that it is better off simply as a CD.

I do not intend to criticize Duff for her more or less decent freshman DVD production, but the DVD lacks a certain quality simply because Duff is new on the market. Hardly any band makes a DVD their first time out of the gate, and those who do (such as Duff) discover that their final product lacks the ambience and feel of classic Music DVDs. Take for instance, a DVD of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 1991, when it appeared as though the band was on the verge of collapsing, making for an intriguing behind-the-scenes view of the band. Hell Freezes Over is another classic DVD, and part of that is due to the energy put into its production. After promising that the band wouldn't play together until "Hell Freezes Over", when they regrouped to make this DVD, the final product had a tremendous energy that cannot be replicated, simply because of the story behind the creation of the DVD. Certainly, it is equally important that the band plays well, the visual presentation is satisfactory, etc., but there is a certain intangible that cannot be achieved so early in one's career.

The behind-the-seens portions of the DVD are hardly entertaining, and the video recordings of Hilary singing her songs are just not that interesting, for these sort of video recordings are only interesting if they feature an entire band, so there are multiple focus points on the screen and enough variety in what the spectator sees to keep them interested. Producing her CD Metamorphasis was already a stretch since we all know she is by no means a musician, but this DVD is an even greater over-extension of her talent (if you believe she possess talent). It is hard so say that this DVD amounts to anything more than a marketing ploy; another way to make money off people who will purchase any product that features Hilary Duff.

Bastard Out of Carolina (1996)

Moving. Powerful. Tragic. A Must See Film.

[25 December 2003]

Angelica Huston's film "Bastard out of Carolina" seems stooped in perpetual darkness, as characters commit random acts of cruelty and violence and muse about leaving their dead-end lives behind. Amongst this profoundly unsettling and haunting setting, "Bastard out of Carolina" is based on a true story about a poverty-stricken widowed woman and an innocent little girl. Bone, the little girl, is being abused both physically and sexually by her stepfather, Glen in South Carolina in the 1950s. It's so horrifying to see what this little girl has to go through every day of her life, I could not bear to watch some scenes. Some of the scenes were so gruesome and graphic it left my head pondering with horrible images that stayed there for a long time. I'm glad one film was not made with lots of special effects and A-List actors and actresses, it was made because it wanted to get a message across. Be warned: it's very graphic, not for the people who get teary-eyed over "Bambi". The characters here are developed and have lots of depth; the cast is amazing. Jena Malone as Bone, she deserved an Oscar for this film. Her courage, her facial expressions sum it all up. ..you can really feel the pain, the torture and the horror of her childhood. Malone is amazing as young Bone, This dazzling little girl, a natural actress, uses her both her face and her body to convey Bone's roller-coaster emotions. Hardly any actresses her age would be able to pull that off. I hated the mother, she was so foolish and naive. She wouldn't do anything about her husband beating her poor, innocent little girl because she loves her little girl so much. I hardly ever feel for movies the way I did. . . the only movie I can really think of I had felt this way is "Boys Don't Cry" and "Requiem for a Dream". I couldn't help but cry during "Bastard out of Carolina",it's so incredibly sad and hard to watch, if that happened to my little girl I'd take her half-way across the world. Most scenes were incredibly hard to watch, the car scene when Glen sexually abuses poor Bone while wait outside the hospital for her mother to give birth. Jena Malone and Jennifer Jason Leigh were so believable as mother and daughter. Few movies actually feel so "real" as this one - the setting, the characters, the action. The actor that played Glen did a really good job. His character was both scary and realistic. The music also played its part in creating the great emotions this movie brings to us. I found myself, crying, yelling, clenching my fist and wishing at the TV. It has some unforgettable scenes, the whole movie is unforgettable. The rape scene was so disturbing and powerful I could almost not bear to look. Though Jena Malone has few lines in this movie, her facial expressions say a million words. It rips my heart out to see what happened to this girl and it's so gripping and brutally honest, the worst part is that it really did happen. The film appealed to it's audience on a purely emotional level through excessive and disturbing images. It's jawdropping and very emotional, with lots of blood, bruises and a lot more unpleasant things. I was cheering when the three men beat up Glen. There isn't an ending. It's like a soap opera. Once I started to watch it I couldn't turn it off. I tried but my hand would slowly wander back to the remote. It has lots of graphic scenes yet I really couldn't turn it off because I just knew it had to have a happy ending. I have been a fan of Jena Malone since the day I saw this film. She has been getting better ever since.

Passport to Paris (1999 Video)

It's Cute but Not Really My Style

[23 December 2003]

I've never really been an Olsen twin fan myself, but I go to my aunt's every weekend, and my cousin loves these movies. I was bored and it was raining out and my cousin begged me to watch this with her. It's cute and all but I wasn't really part of the target audience. I really don't get what's so likeable about the Olsen twins except that they have cute faces and make G-rated straight-to-video movies. Well this is their first movie in a way with the same plot, all the movies they make after this copycat this plot. It's cute how the Olsens have their first onscreen kiss. My cousin loved it, I kind of like Olsen movies, it's my guilty pleasure. I liked "It Takes Two", "Switching Goals" and all the ones they did when they were little except for a few. It was quite cheesy and had a predictable outcome, but it was sweet, I know this is how you DON'T want your little girls to turn out like but it's still wholesome and somewhat entertaining, but the Olsens are horrible actresses! Okay so 3.5/10 from me and 5.5/10 for the target audience.

Hilary Duff: All Access Pass (2003 Video)

Unfortunately, a Very Unsatisfying DVD.

[1/10 · 22 December 2003]

Unfortunately, this DVD only confirms the beliefs of those who attribute Hilary Duff's great success to her image and appearance. The only way someone may genuinely enjoy this DVD is if they are interested in seeing Duff in person instead of just hearing her voice (but why would that be important to anyone?) It is difficult not to notice that this DVD lacks interesting subject matter, and that it is better off simply as a CD.

I do not intend to criticize Duff for her decent, more or less freshman DVD production, but the DVD lacks a certain quality simply because Duff is new on the market. Hardly any band makes a DVD their first time out of the gate, and those who do (such as Duff) discover that their final product lacks the ambience and feel of classic Music DVDs. Take for instance, a DVD of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 1991, when it appeared as though the band was on the verge of collapsing, making for an intriguing behind-the-seens view of the band. Hell Freezes Over is another classic DVD, and part of that is due to the energy put into its production. After promising that the band wouldn't play together until "Hell Freezes Over", when they regrouped to make this DVD, the final product had a tremendous energy that cannot be replicated, simply because of the story behind the creation of the DVD. Certainly, it is equally important that the band plays well, the visual presentation is satisfactory, etc., but there is a certain intangible that cannot be achieved so early in one's career.

The behind-the-seens portions of the DVD are hardly entertaining, and the video recordings of Hilary singing her songs are just not that interesting, for these sort of video recordings are only interesting if they feature an entire band, so there are multiple focus points on the screen and enough variety in what the spectator sees to keep them interested. Producing her CD Metamorphasis was already a stretch since we all know she is by no means a musician, but this DVD is an even greater over-extension of her talent (if you believe she possess talent). It is hard so say that this DVD amounts to anything more than a marketing ploy; another way to make money off people who will purchase any product that features Hilary Duff.

This DVD is a great example of how Hilary gets by on her looks. Includes making and videos of "So Yesterday"/"Why Not", and a short version of the video "I Can't Wait". Includes home videos and photos of Hilary when she was younger, and less annoying. As far as Hilary in the studio, it includes performances of "Little Voice" and "So Yesterday" which are both lip synched, as anyone who has common sense could tell that. They also show bits of performances of some other songs on her album, also lip synched. So you see no live singing here. Just Hilary faking it.

Considering that I am not a fan, why did I watch this? My aunt, who is up-to-date with the latest trends, thought I may enjoy it since the last time I saw her was a couple of months ago and back then I had been a fan and I asked for it for Christmas and I decided to write a review.

The only people who may enjoy it are die hard Hilary Duff fans.

Cadet Kelly (2002 TV Movie)

A Major Disappointment. "Private Benjamin" meets "Legally Blonde" but not in a Good Way.

[1/10 · 20 December 2003]

I am a fan of Disney Channel Original movies even though they are very overrated I still like them but I must say that the movie was a major disappointment. I understand the need for some artistic license but they really butchered this one. My biggest complaint is Hilary Duff, she cannot act her way out of a soggy paper bag. She was extremely spoiled and bratty and too valley girlish. carlson Romano was okay, but she could get annoying. To hate her is a compliment, it means she's convincing. Hilary Duff is not convincing at all and her character is much like Lizzie from Lizzie McGuire. She did get a teensy bit better; her acting is better here from the Once again the entertainment industry has totally botched an opportunity to make a wonderful and heart-warming film. Secondly, I vehemently disagree with how the movie ended. If they thought their ending to be more dramatic than what occurs in most Disney Channel Original films. The ending was hokey and really boring and slow moving. It's hard to feel sorry or happy for the herione because she's an annoying brat and an awful actress, also totally unconvincing. should have known better. It was wishful thinking on my part that just this once, they would make a good Disney Channel Original movie. I was hoping just once they'd get it right. Shawn Ashmore is hot, he's also a good actor but he has far too little screen time. I think it's disgusting how this horrible film got a 6.4 and such high ratings from critics. I only hope that this movie does not deter viewers from watching Disney Channel Original films, because some are actually good. Hilary Duff's character had no depth and was stereo-typical. She was also portrayed as a woman with far less softness and compassion than the character she wanted to be. The actress who portrayed Kelly was completely unbelievable and in my opinion, too old for the role. It's gross: Shawn Ashmore and Hilary Duff, one finishing middle school and one just out of college/university.

I have many other comments about this dismal Disney Channel Original film but since I am limited to only 1,000 words, I had to keep this short.

Love Comes Softly (2003 TV Movie)

A Heart-Warming, Entertaining Movie for the Whole Family to Enjoy!

[10/10 · 18 December 2003]

I must say that I enjoyed watching "Love Comes Softly". I think it was very entertaining and is suitable for all ages which is always a good thing. Skye McCole Bartusiak shines on screen as the bratty daughter and it's a pleasure to watch her. Superb script and casting.

While I didn't expect too much from this movie despite the fact that I generally like Hallmark channel movies, I must say I was pleasantly surprised.

Not only was the acting very believable, but the plot was original and had a lot of heart. This movie made me smile, get teary-eyed, and think. I think what makes this movie rise above the average is that it reaches many different people on various levels. It challenges you to think outside the box, to not accept the conformity of society and set your own standards while crossing over the line. It teaches you the importance of family, even 'broken' ones, and letting new people in, to have faith in people. Love Comes Softly combines entertainment, drama, and emotions to make the best Hallmark channel has ever seen. Definitely worth watching over and over again and it gets 10 stars for a well written script and a great acting job by Katherine Heigl, Skye McCole Bartusiak and Dale Midkiff.

This movie has a few things going with it. First off, all the actors/actresses do an outstanding job in their roles. Katherine Heigl does by far the best job at playing Marty Claridge. She is in nearly every scene, and her delivery of lines and expressions is priceless.

Ditto to that on Bartusiak. It's difficult to believe she was only 10 or 9, because she has the natural ability to behave rather than to act in a role. It had a good story and easy to identify characters. The great thing about this is that it doesn't dwell on drugs, bad language, violence and loud and unrelated music. IQ of 80 or below. Seen in that context, this movie is waaaaaay above average.

Nevertheless, the film portrays children and adults as resilient, capable of not only facing such challenges, but mastering them. It's a well done made for T.V. movie. It's Hallmark, so it does have a certain "cuteness" to it, but it's much, much better than those overrated Disney Channel Original movies, heck, it's better than all that garbage in theaters. I'm glad that some movie didn't get made just to rake in big bucks.

With so many movies oriented toward violence, anger, brutality etc, "Love Comes Softly" is a breath of fresh air. I love all types of movies but where would we be without an occasional heartwarming, uplifting(at times) classic like this?

If you haven't seen this yet you certainly should. It's delightful, touching and a great film for the family. You will not disappointed! I've only seen it twice, but still it manages to totally take over my thoughts as I get involved in its world. I was nervous because it was based on a book I loved (I read it when I was 11), it could have been a pathetic disappointment. Instead it draws from the book beautifully the characters and attitudes that made the book one of the greatest of all time. I don't normally watch prairie movies, but lately I've taken an interest in the 1800s. I'm really glad that they make movies such as this one. Like I said above, it doesn't dwell on sex and drugs, and it's not a bore. It's a great book made into a great movie, kind of like "Little Women". Great cast and great direction that will please the whole family (except for your teenaged son).

Go rent or buy this film when you have some time. It's worth it!

Down Will Come Baby (1999 TV Movie)

Excellent TV Movie Surprise!! Why do People Downgrade Movies Like This?

[10/10 · 12 December 2003]

*Some plot spoilers ahead*

This is worth being watched. Amazing acting by Evan Rachel Wood, Katie Booze-Mooney, Diana Scarwid and Meredith Baxter. Robin Garr is a girl who pleas to her parents to go to summer camp. At that camp, she meets an overweight young teenage girl called Amelia and the two become best friends. When Amelia drowns at the camp's lake, Robin feels responsible and plummets into a deep depression. The school year starts and a classmate kindly helps Robin back to her usual self. In the meantime, Robin's mom is staying in Denver permanently. Robin's father is staying with her in Pheonix. Her dad meets and hires an odd new neighbor named Dorothy McIntyre to take care of his young daughter. The trouble is that Dorothy is psychotic a little bit and tries to control everything and make everything perfect. Events happen and dark secrets are revealed. . . Dorothy isn't who she leads you to believe she is.

I'm glad I caught this one, I was a bit afraid that they may ruin the book, it didn't really follow the book that well, but it was still quite good. It's actually quite thrilling. . .it's one of those movies that could actually happen. It's one of the best TV movies. On the other hand, Evan Rachel Wood usually appears in the worst made for TV films ever made. Like I said, I was scared to try this one out but I am so glad I did! It wasn't really my type of film, I wasn't really impressed that they were making a movie out of a book I loved. I can see Gregory Goodall's career growing at a constant rate, especially now that he's finally hit the right tone for the material; one that adults and teens alike can appreciate. Whether Evan Rachel Wood is here to stay or not, this movie hit her at the right time. It showed the world that she could act! If you thought that Digging to China was great, you are destined to love this one. The ending is marked by complexity, fullness of detail and ornateness; it's planned and carried out with great care. Go rent or buy this film when you have some time. It's worth it!

Though it's not perfect, still I gave it a well-deserved 10/10! For it pleased me so much! Superbly casted, great setting, amazing direction, elaborate, excellent scripting that pleased as well as thrilled me!

Don't Say a Word (2001)

Made Skye McCole Bartusiak my Favorite Child Actress

[10/10 · 7 December 2003]

From this day on, Skye McCole Bartusiak is my favorite child actress overall! You can forget about overrated untalented Hilary, unfunny Amanda, forget about amazing Anna and fascinating Natalie, even forget *gasp* cute lil' Dakota. . .Skye will outact them in the future, if she hasn't now. During most of the time when I was watching this truly impressive flick I was going to rate it only a 6 because the directing wasn't all that convincing, but still convincing, the scripting did have a couple of flaws. I know this movie ain't no Oscar winner, but it ain't no sugar-coated, PG-rated, fluffy, boppy, unrealistic but trying to be realistic, PG, trashy Disney pile of dung. Though it did have an unsatisfying end slightly, it did fit in the whole movie.

Skye McCole Bartusiak surely must have been older than eight when she filmed it. No kid that age could be that talented. She captures realistic traits that her character would make in that situation. The emotional depth of the character she portrayed was immense. Her character was heartbreakingly cute, but it didn't try to be at all. She can look so incredibly natural, with on screen grace and poise. Her performance is beautiful, her emotional work during the film is incredible. . .you can really feel her pain. She is so talented at such a young age, her facial expressions sum up all her emotions in this film. Without Skye's brave, demanding and emotionally raw performance this movie would have been nothing.

Even though Ms. McCole Bartusiak did by far the best acting job in this movie, Douglas, Janssen and Murphy were quite amazing too.

And needless to say that Skye McCole Bartusiak will follow her suit ... and that she unquestionably is the most adorable girl ever!

The Wonderful World of Disney: Eloise at the Plaza (2003) Season 44, Episode 26

Cute and Funny in the Right Places; Sofia is GREAT!

[1 December 2003]

I finished watching this really cute comedy about a six-year-old girl who lives at a 5 star plaza and causes havoc. It's very warm-hearted, and people who love the Eloise books will love this movie. I can't wait until next Sunday, Eloise at Christmastime is on.

Sofia Vassilieva is charmingly funny, REALLY cute and is a great lil' actress, the part of Eloise fits her like a glove. I can't wait to see what she has in store for us. Sofia's spunky and brilliant, she's a great actress for her age, maybe the future of Hollywood.

Eloise is just a little girl, trying to get people to notice her in bad and good ways. She wants to go to the Debutante Ball but has no one to take her. When she overhears someone saying that a prince is coming to stay at the plaza, she immidiately wants the prince to take her to the ball. When she stumbles across a 9-year-old boy, who IS the prince but Eloise doesn't know it until the end, she asks him to help her look for him. Eloise also takes him around New York and they have all kinds of fun. Somewhat unrealistic, I know, but adorable none the less. This should definetly get a higher ranking then 4.9. It should at least get a 6.7. If you haven't seen it, please do, you won't be dissapointed.

The Vest (2003)

Skye is AWESOME; Academy, Take Notice !

[9/10 · 1 December 2003]

I must say that this is one of my favorite shorts of all time. I luckily came across it when I was at an LA Film Festival. I'm a huge film festival buff. All the actors and actresses were amazing in their parts. The emotional depth of characters portrayed was immense. Mindblowing acting acting by Skye McCole Bartusiak and the rest.

Skye McCole Bartusiak is an amazing actress for her age. She is really talented. This film is pure proof. She can deliver a take-no-prisoners, scorching performance as Sarah, the little girl. She is just truly Oscar material. She is the future of Hollywood. Go watch this short if you want to see a GOOD fim, other than that crap little kids films.

All in all, if this movie doesn't win 8 Oscars, there's no justice in this world.

Thirteen (2003)

Gripping, Powerful and Brutally Honest

[10/10 · 29 November 2003]

You see it everyday-teens smoking on the streets and hanging by 7-11. Now it's time for a closer look. For one thing, these girls are nothing like the ones on Lizzie McGuire, they are more exciting and every parent's nightmare. In fact, after seeing this film, you may want to lock your daughter in her room and not let her out for six years. It's got a brilliant cast, Holly Hunter and Evan Rachel Wood star, so it's got to have great peformances.

Filmed mostly on hand-held Super 16 camera, "Thirteen" has an appropriately jumpy, get-me-out-of-my-skin edge to it. To start things off, Tracy is a smart, innocent, good girl whose mother is a recovering alcoholic and druggie who lives in a LA home. She plays Barbies, babysits for the neighbor's kid and is just all around sweet. Her first days in change everything. Tracy realizes instantly that the attention in centered around the popular girls. The popular girls aren't clothes-worshipping I-broke-a-nail cheerleaders like Lizzie McGuire leads you to believe; they are girls with pierced navels and tongues, sexualized, flirtacious girls. Tracy gets teased from the popular girls because her wardrobe is more Lizzie McGuire than Christina Aguilera/Britney Spears. When Tracy steals a woman's purse contains hundreds of dollars, maybe thousands, in it, Evie, the leader of the popular girls invites her into the crowd.

Evie introduces Tracy into such fun activities like drugs and alcohol, shoplifting from expensive clothing stores, having sex with cool black guys,piercing most body parts imaginable, which almost gives her mother a heart attack and dressing like a slut, in lowrider jeans, halftops and spiked heals. Evie is the coolest girl in school, she's bad to the bone, but she's had a loss of her mother, and asks Tracy's mom to let her move in, claiming that her guardian's boyfriend beats her. Mel has a soft spot for the unfortunate, and lets Evie move in. Tracy also drops hints of anorexia. Evan Rachel Wood delivers an Oscar-worthy, realistic performance as Tracy, and this did happen to Nikki Reed, who co-stars as Evie in a convincing and pretty good performance, is the most horrifying part of the story. Outside home, a dubious racial dynamic goes on with young black males, who are eager recipients of the two teens' sexual advances, while a guy who spurns them as "jail bait" is white. And two girls who threaten Tracy during the film's climax, albeit set up by Evie, are black. I liked the scenes that proved that these girls were innocent, like the scene when Tracy said "Mommy, Mason called me a slut" or the sprinkler scene.

The ending was symbolic, Tracy is in a playground and she is on the merry-go-round, then she lets out a cry of release. Overall, even though this film did have it's flaws, I'd give it an 8/10. Let's just hope they don't come up with an even scarier sequel, Fourteen.

So Little Time (2001–2002)

So Little Time for What? Boys, Clothes and Shopping? It does Truly Suck Egg Shells! :P

[21 November 2003]

Argh! This show is so bad. The Olsen Twins have truly no talent. Simply put, they suck. I don't get why they are so popular and hyped up. This show is awful, too. First of all, the jokes aren't even funny. It may have a great setting, but the acting is laughable. The next thing is that girls at 14/15 aren't just obsessed with boys, clothes, make-up, sneaking into parties late at night and money. When I first saw this show, I thought it had some good potential. Some of the last episodes are not awful as the other episodes in the series. The basic plot line revolves around two teenaged girls, Chloe and Riley. They switch from house to house because their dad and mom are seperated. Their mom owns a beach mansion and their dad lives in a trailer. Their friend, Larry is very pathetic. Now, back to why it isn't realistic. 14/15 year old girls don't care about boys and clothes 24/7. They actually get into drugs, sex, getting piercings+tatoos and crime at that age. Seriously, what does this our children to believe? That life is all good and you have to love makeup, clothes, cheerleading and boys. Really, these girls cannot think for themselves at all, they just have to be followers of the pack. They are sheep. BAH!BAH!BAH! Girls should think for themselves and be independent leaders, not just caring about the latest fashion trends and getting a guy to like you. That's okay once a while, but every day? I think not. I am now staying away from the TV if this is the impression of teen girls today and they continue to put this garbage on air.

I Am Sam (2001)

Truly Amazing

[12 November 2003]

The emotional depth of characters portrayed was immense. I cried like a baby during the movie. Mindblowing acting of most of the protagonists. A script that makes Citizen Kane green with envy. All in all, if this movie doesn't win 8 Oscars, there's no justice in this world

The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

How Dare They Insult Such a Beautiful City With an Awful Movie - Spoilers

[1/10 · 9 November 2003]

Okay, to start things off, this is the worst film I've seen in months. Years, maybe. Not often you find a movie as awful as this. I rented it in August, hoping it wouldn't be a cheesefest and it wasn't. It was much worse. I can't believe you people gave this film a 4.9. It deserves a 0! The film has a cheesy, lame, Cinderella story plot which resembles earlier this year's "What a Girl Wants" and 2001's "The Princess Diaries" and awful acting. Sadly, being young and good-looking is a good substitution for talent. The opening scene, in which Lizzie is trying to find a graduation outfit while singing and dancing like a geek to "The Tide is High" while her little brother,Matt, tapes her with a remote control car, is very weak and cheesy, so I figured it could get better. I mean, how many films have bad and boring beginnings and turn out to be a masterpiece? The film now moves on from here to Lizzie's graduation. The graduation goes smoothly, with the character, Kate, bullying Lizzie about being an "outift repeater" whatever that is. Next thing you know it, Lizzie trips and the backdrop falls down. It only gets worse from here. Lizzie goes to Rome on a summer trip (which school do they do that in?) with her class. Mrs. Ungermeyer is the extremely annoying chaperone. Lizzie makes a wish in a fountain and soon appears one half of a lame international pop duo. A woman gives Lizzie cheese and the Italian popstar claims Lizzie looks exactly like the other half of the duo and convinces Lizzie to pose as her for the VMA's or whatever. Lizzie skips all of the tours with her class to sneak out with this greasy Italian slimeball. Kate, who Lizzie shares a resort room with, becomes suspicious and soon figures out what Lizzie's doing. Hilary Duff's acting and singing as the movie, yet she has made a career out of both. The weird thing is, Kate decides to cover for Lizzie. The other odd thing in the movie is that all the people hardly have accents or their accents are over-accented. Lizzie and the guy now have to find something to wear to the VMA's, so they try and find something to wear by giving Lizzie a makeover. The fashions in the fashion show are cheesy, ugly haute couture rip-offs. Lizzie and Paolo rehearse the song that they are supposed to sing for the VMAs, Paolo convinces Lizzie to lipsynch to the song. Next, Lizzie and Gordo get a hold of Isabella, who tells her that Paolo is a poser. Meanwhile, Matt tells his parents that he misses his sister after discovering Lizzie is famous. The family jets off to Rome. The ending is very gay and idiotic. Lizzie and Paolo go to the VMAs, Gordo some how messes with the sound system, turning off Paolo (he's the one who lipsynchs!) mic off, Paolo walks off the stage embarrassed, then Lizzie and Isabella take the stage, singing their renedition of the song, while Lizzie's family and friends are cheering her on in the crowd. Next, Lizzie gets grounded for the rest of the summer, that's the worst thing that happens to her. Typical, awful Disney film. I can't believe I had to give this a one because there was no 0.

0.0/10.0