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chrisbw1965
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Meteor: First Impact (2022)
Totally unbelievable
I love a good disaster flick, but so much about this just screamed "yeah right". Let's start with the choice of cast: the lead just is not convincing as a scientist. Scientists don't have those muscles and especially tattoos. Really? This guy would be more convincing as a wrestler, bouncer, or motorcycle badass, but Not as a scientist.
The relationships: the marriage just isn't believable, and could you pick a more mismatched couple than the daughter and boyfriend? No chemistry between any of them.
The boss: really? I've had bad bosses, but they've all had a passing familiarity with the job. This guy is clueless, and has zero respect for supposed experts and their findings. I just don't buy it.
I won't comment on the cinematography, but it seemed adequate.
As for the plot: meh, if done right it could be believable.
I just didn't believe this, I couldn't see the characters as relatable, and I never cared what happens to any of them. In fact, the attitude thrown at the dad by the daughter was rude, disrespectful, and totally unbelievable, and the way the dad allowed it was also un-relatable. Again, so many issues made the whole thing a miss.
The Protector (2018)
Is Turkish version better?
English version sucks. Don't believe the fake positive ratings: the acting is pathetic, and the lead is totally unlikeable. He can't act to save his life, and he comes across as arrogant and smug. I hoped it would get better, but several episodes in to 2nd season, and I'm rooting for the immortals. If a womanizer who goes off half cocked on unplanned emotional tirades is the "protector" of humanity, god help us all. I read all the hero worship reviews, and had to swallow the bile: "best Turkish actor"? Give me a fricken break. Even the smug expressions on his face makes you despise him. If this is their best, I hope Netflix doesn't carry any more Turkish acted crap.
Razorteeth (2005)
godawful
Save yourself the pain of watching this. I don't review much, but those 8-, 9-, & 10-star reviews are total BS. The acting alone was beyond amateurish, wooden and painful to watch. My nephew is a film student, and his school project films are Oscar worthy next to this. I heard this was a $25k budget: someone was overpaid for this crap Do yourself a favor, avoid this film: pluck your nose hair, scrape your foot calluses, lance your grandpa's puss filled boils, anything is better than enduring this gagfest. You've been warned... watch at your own peril.. I normally go easy on bad films, but this this was worthy of shouting a warning about. Ijs.
Lethal Virus (2021)
Atrocious
This wasn't even laughably bad, it was just bad. Where to start? Plot: give me a break! Put a lab coat on a girl and she's a doctor? The world's falling apart and you scream your head off while trying to evade zombies? You have a mission to save the world, but stop for a little zombie girl you can't even see clearly, despite explicit orders Not to stop for anything, getting your whole team killed? Then the kicker, you're the sole hope for humanity, you recruit others to help you, only to find you lied just to save your own family? What a horrible plot, laden with rainbows, unicorn farts, and other millennial bullish!t.
The acting was cringeworthy. The dialogue was unrealistic. And, for a doctor, the main character was wooden, and incredibly stupid and entitled. I was rooting for the zombies by the end. If I'd only known, I'd have avoided this one like a plague.
First Signal (2021)
OMG, terrible & wooden
I give most movies a chance, and have liked what others found really bad, but this one was truly terrible. Only made it part way into it and had to shut it off. You know those boring training classes you have to endure at work, where you have to perform stupid skits with wooden dialog and acting read off a card? Yeah, that's oscar worthy compared to this. Really, the president travels without security, and gets briefings in a third rate conference room with plastic tables? And along those lines, we're suppose to believe this inarticulate woman, who can't even speak convincingly, and wears no identifiable US pin or badge, is supposed to have earned the highest office on the planet. I'm sorry, but it's even too much of a stretch for me. Truly god-awful!
Country Comfort (2021)
Insulting stereotypes
Only made it through a couple episodes: I wanted to like this, but I had to take it off after being subjected to the horrible overacting, and pitiful scripts, especially the character of Bailly. She's annoying, and terribly miscast: she should have been blonde if they're gonna make her so annoyingly ditzy. The whole pining for the ex was even worse. What modern smart woman holds a torch for a man who dumped her for no reason, and immediately took up with another woman? What TF kind of message is the show trying to portray?
Some say it gets better, but I'm not willing to waste more time trying to find out. Watch it if you like, but be warned: if you dislike characters who insult your intelligence, you're not going to enjoy this show. It's a big pile of purposefully stupid adults, kids who make the more mature choices, and desperate attempts to get second rate stars to walk thru the set to save the poor writing and acting. Come on, Eddie Cibrian as a cowboy? Let's give everyone a fake accent, and pit adolescent lotharios against each other in cringeworthy fashion. Whatever.....
Zoo (2015)
Just gets worse
To start, if you gave this a 1-2, or a 9-10, I scrolled past your review, because it's likely bullsht. Enough others have hit on the cinematography, and such. My review is on the incredibly unbelievable plot. I can put up with bad camera work, bad directing, and even the occasional bad scene, but this show just showed plot holes the size of the grand canyon. I'm in season 3, and I don't think I can finish it. The decisions that characters make don't make sense. There are more secrets than I can keep up with, and this from a "team" that's supposed to be more like family. The girl villain is just too much. There's no explanation for any of her actions, and yet on numerous occasions, people pass on opportunities to put her down. The fate of the world hangs in the balance, yet characters choose their own interests first, then have the audacity to get mad at everyone else, who still don't have an explanation for their stupidity/arrogance. This show went from scifi'y but believable, to some kind of outlandish mcu universe out there superhero/supervillain farce, where characters make absolutely stupid decisions, and never explain why, because heaven forbid you tell your "family" why you just doomed them. On second thought, I'm better off stopping now, and letting my imagination finish the story, because the writers don't seem capable... ijs
Stranded (2013)
Asinine
Where to begin: 1st: if you're going to write a review, stop trying to blow smoke up the viewers as$, if you have to compare it with "I've seen worse", that's NOT an endorsement of this godawful movie. 2nd: There's no plot, no point, and the acting was terrible. The script just didn't make any sense, unless NASA finally populated the moon with completely undisciplined idiots. Yeah, it's that bad.
No one seems to follow protocols, or orders, or any kind of chain of command. People get infected, and keep it to themselves. They get sick, and it HAS to be carbon monoxide, not the alien spores you were JUST talking about. The lab protocols are nonexistent: take a sample in the open air, put the sample in a dish in the open air, then put the contaminated scalpel on an open counter, in the open air, then finally seal the meteorite in an airtight container: because hey, that's how you treat unknown deadly pathogens. These guys must have felt safe wearing bandanas during the pandemic, because science, who needs science...
As for the integrity of the base: you can seal off entire sections just by sealing the door, but the air system connects everything? Really, that's asinine, as is putting the escape pods the furthest away from the working and living quarters as possible. Even worse, an escape pod has to be prepped from multiple locations before it can be launched? Really? And here I thought "escape pod", by definition, meant contained and ready to literally go at the press of a button, because in the real world, escapees don't get time to prep for leaving.
Christian Slater used to be a good actor, but this was such a waste, and a detriment to his career. The acting, by all, was not that of an advanced scientific team, but a group of individuals unfit to occupy a moving vehicle, let alone crew a space base crew.
And, wtf is with a dangerous predator being on the loose, but no one closes a fkn door, literally to save their life?
What a waste of time watching this: I feel cheated, and a day later, still pissed!
Nihon Chinbotsu 2020 (2020)
Utterly disappointing
Don't trust the 7 and higher scores, they lie. This series was disappointing. I've trudged through, getting more and more upset at it: the characters gave me no reason to root for them, and I really wanted the girl and boy to just die to end my misery. They made stupid decisions, were whiny, and acted like they were on a holiday they didn't want to be on. Um, the world is ending, let's play video games. Oh, Mom & Dad are dead, along with everyone we've ever known, let's take a selfie. smdh, and why do characters in movies always hide their injuries instead of getting them treated?
Look at the other reviews to see about the animation flaws and such, just know that saturday morning cartoons have better animation, Wiley & Roadrunner have better plot and character development., and whoever dreamed up this "movie" has a pretty low regard for native japanese. ijs
Quarantine L.A. (2013)
Terrible
Omg, where to start. A military "leader" with no military characteristics at all. A military subordinate who salutes with his left hand: really? A military "hero" who's supposedly a dad, who has no human empathy. Zombies that are smart enough to hide, and close doors behind themselves. People in a life and death situation, walking right past abandoned cars, and dead people, without ever checking for supplies, or I don't know, gas for your offroad vehicle you're just going to walk away from. Come on people, use some common sense when writing this trash, and maybe it won't come across as trash.
Don't Speak (2020)
OMG
I say now that I intend to watch this film, but time will tell. I'm 8 minutes in and already ticked: you hear a sound, in the middle of the night, and continue standing there instead of going inside. You hear your daughter screaming, so you go outside, then back in when you don't find her, and lock the door. You refuse to turn on a frkn light, then you grab a gun you obviously don't know how to use. You attempt to put obviously wrong sized bullets into an open handle of an automatic pistol, then proceed to fire several rounds from a gun with NO magazine in it! Oh come on, did anyone with Any common sense review this movie before release? Ugh, let's see how rest of film plays out, but from other reviews, I think I'll be wasting my time...
Outer Banks (2020)
Portrayed ages make believability tough
To start off, I loved the show, mostly, but the ages of the characters just didn't add up. We're supposed to believe that 16 year olds are the kings & queens of their school, and community. They party hard, drink at will, with no regard for social or legal issues of right/wrong. They drive, all of them, like they've been doing it for years, and there is none of reality's fear as new drivers. Sex is portrayed as common, and having gone on so long that it's mundane. The use of the terms "boyfriends" & "girlfriends" makes you wonder when did they start seriously dating, 9? The maturity levels of the characters is far too advanced for a bunch of 16 year olds just coming into life as adults. Not to mention the perpetual five o'clock shadows: really, on 16 year olds, with deeper voices than 35 year olds, and hardened attitudes and maturity levels not seen in 27 year olds. Come on, I'm 54, and still remember the newness and uncertainty of 16. No, this plot should have been written for the obvious 21 year olds these actors were. The dialog was much too mature, and world weary, for us to believe they were 16. The acceptance of these characters by adult characters as being adults was just too far fetched. Society in general wouldn't be so hard on them if they actually Were 16 year olds. You don't pull guns and be about to pull the trigger on kids!
I realize I didn't get into the cinematic and technical aspects, but that wasn't my take on this series. The filming was good, the effects were good, even the acting was mostly good, it was just the unbelievability of these characters as being 16 that really bothered me.
Update: Second season is out, but I find myself dragging my heals watching it. Reviews have not been kind, and many more have commented on the complete unbelievability of obviously too old of characters playing young teens. You can't have someone who looks 30, needs a shave, and drinks, drives, and makes stupid decisions, pretend to be 16 just because you make him do stupid teenage stuff. No, the stupidity of everything probably will keep me from even watching season 2. Such a shame, because with a few tweaks, this had a lot of potential. Once again, the viewing public's intelligence is insulted, and Netflix/Hollywood doesn't give a fk.
Collider (2018)
Had promise but ended up feeling unfinished
This movie had promise, it was decent acting for some, and the photography was good, but the mistakes were in the story. The plot, what little there was, just fell apart. While I can suspend disbelief for the science, I can't for a plot that didn't go anywhere, and left you pissed and confused. Like other reviewers said, it's not My job to "come to my own conclusions". Where everything could have been concluded, instead the scriptwriter chose to leave you in a murky fog, with no conclusion or end to the story. I fully expected a "to be continued" script at the end, because that's what it felt like. There was no point to the 90 minutes of buildup. There was no end to let the viewer leave the theater happy with having watched this. I finished it going "is that it, where's the fkg ending?" I can't rate this title high, it just wasn't worth the time invested for a feeling of being let down.
Alien Domicile (2017)
Lack of research shows
The movie had some good elements, like the camera work, and the acting was ok. My rub is that nothing was explained, and some of the type casting was not done. For Instance, the military guy is supposed to be an Air Force Special Forces Master Sergeant: um, NO. To make Msgt rank you need to be gung ho, especially at that rank. This guy looked like he'd fit in more in a starbucks ordering a latte, wearing his beach shirt and crocs. He did not come across as a trained killer, and it showed in the fight scenes, as well as the poor tactics and gear: definitely not believable. No one seems to wonder where they are, or why. Plot twists just drop, with no explanation or backstory. Basically, I didn't care about anyone, or what happened to them. They did stupid things, and got stupid results. I'm 2/3 thru this movie, after stopping multiple times to get some kind of explanation of what's going on from Google. That should have been the director and story writer's job!
I saw potential here but it just never developed. I was left with more questions, and not in a good way. Overall, I give it a 3; could have been a decent movie, but failed miserably.
Glitch (2018)
Amatuerish
More like an amatuer production. The acting is mediocre, and the story just doesn't flow well. It seemed like several college film students decided to make a movie on the cheap. Over half way thru, and I still don't care about any of the characters. The gay foster brother thing didn't really make sense in context of the story. Not sure I'll even finish this, it's that uninspired.
Landing Lake (2017)
Total Crap
Really don't need to say anything more. The acting was beyond bad, except for the accountant character. No real plot, and nothing made sense. Totally unbelievable: who would rescue plane crash survivors, but never ask them any questions. The psychedelic aire was totally off putting: basically, I didn't care about any of them, or what happened to them. I just wanted them to shut up and stop acting like total imbeciles. What a waste of my time: the best parts of the movie were the times I fell asleep during it. Total Crap!
Meteor Apocalypse (2010)
plot awful
The particulars on the film, acting, and cgi are notably bad, but others have covered that. What I'd like to comment about is the actual plot: it's awful. This man has the flippin cure for the sickness affecting millions, but does he try to find a lab to mass produce it? No. Does he even tell anyone he has the cure? No. He holds on to the only 2 vials in existence, and saves them for his daughter. How frickin selfish. He could save the world, but only thinks of himself. Any sympathy I originally had was burned up as I saw him continually put his own interests above saving humanity.
Nightflyers (2018)
Not good SyFi
Don't get me wrong, there was potential here, and maybe if they had competent writers, it could have been developed, but alas, you'll be disappointed. I've been a life long fan of science fiction, and I've seen good and bad. This was more on the bad end of the spectrum.
First off, the acting: they definitely didn't set out to find great actors...or even good actors. It seemed to me that they had a tight budget, and a PC/LGBT checklist that determined who got the jobs. None of the characters seemed to be competent to be on a scientific voyage to save Earth.
The main character Karl was at first ok, but it quickly became apparent that he was an egotist only concerned with what he wanted, and rarely thought about what anyone else wanted. Case in point: his wife is trying hard to get over the loss of their daughter(in the most asinine way), while he doesn't seem to care one way or the other. When the possibility of rekindling romance with an ex presents itself, he sends an email basically dumping his wife, then jumps in the sack with the ex. Sound like every emotionally detached millennial cheater in today's world? Totally turned me off to his character, and he just got more and more emotionally out there as the series progressed, to the point he didn't even shower, shave, or use a comb the last several episodes. Even the last moment, as he's flying into the alien whatever, it was all about him, and reminded me of the Kirk/Picard Star Trek movie, where they entered the Rift and were able to live forever in their fantasy. Predictably, it wasn't saving Earth that he chose, it was being back with the family he abandoned, with no thoughts of the dead ex or fellow crew he also abandoned.
The sci-fi just wasn't all that believable. The story lines became absurd: dead mother's consciousness uploaded into the computer mainframe? Really? Only one person able to access the computer, and that's thru a neural link?
Roy...A deviant captain, who holds secrets that Will jeopardize the crew, and goes from a strong leader to a whiney scared mama's boy.
Mel...i honestly don't know what the fk her role was supposed to be. It did involve lots of opportunities to show skin though.
Thale...a petulant psycho kid with mental powers he couldn't control, and seriously lacking social skills. He was actually one of the better characters.
Agatha...one of the few competent characters, but she had no issue with seducing a married man, and was more of an overprotective mommy than believable as a doctored psychologist. She was one I wanted to root for, but seeing her die in the forward flash first few minutes nixed that.
Lommie...to be honest, I had a hard time figuring out if that was a guy or girl, but frankly, I just didn't care. She was moody, depressing, and totally unlikable.
The rest of the crew were basically cardboard cutouts. Because there was no backstory, you just didn't care about them.
The aliens were never explained, or shown. Again, you didn't care about them, and ultimately, after witnessing the behavior of the crew, you just didn't care if they were coming to help, or destroy, humanity.
All in all, nothing was believable. No one fit the role they were supposed to be playing. Their emotional little tirades always were more important than the mission, which was ambiguous and vague to start with. If this had been a real world mission, none of these borderline psychos would have passed the screenings to be picked for the mission.
Would I recommend this dud? Not unless you just want mindless fluff to fill some time. Several episodes literally put me to sleep, and rewinding only showed me that I didn't miss anything. The "science" is a joke, and draws too heavily on other films, and not in a good way.
The worst was the ending: characters killed off for no reason, and a nonsensical end that answered no questions, leaving you with a wtf just happened feel. No, if I'd known how this was going to play out, I'd have opted not to watch at all.
Zombie World 2 (2018)
God awful waste of film
Saying this was a bad movie would be generous. This movie was awful. Supposedly in English, yeah right, switches to spanish part way in.
Acting was purposely atrocious, as no one could act that bad unless it was on purpose.
No plot at all: entire film was a mashup of disjointed clips, with no attempt to tie anything together, and no real point to any of the clips. . The ending was just that: it ended, no conclusion, no ending, just stopped the film. When you have no plot, you can end it whenever.
Omg, this was such a waste of time and money. I can't believe someone thought this would make a successful movie. There was no sense, no plot, no hero, no one to root for: this was a badly filmed collection of zombie encounters, where you didn't really care if anyone survived or not, you just wanted it to end.
El incidente (2014)
Well I can understand the negative reviews
From the start, the movie is plodding and downright boring. The acting isn't great, but neither terrible. The cinematography is blah. The character development non existent. Basically, you know that you have no emotional attachment to any of the characters, and can walk out of the film at any time and never have an urge to watch it again to see what you missed, because you just don't care.
Whether the director, or the actors, ever go anywhere in their careers won't be because of this film. Comparing it to classics, and genuinely great directors and storytellers: yeah, I don't think so.
ijs
Empire State (2013)
Totally unrealistic- Contains Spoilers
Totally unrealistic, and unimaginative. For being the "biggest heist in U.S. history", not much attention was given towards finding the culprits. The most glaringly offensive detail was the complete lack of realism when it came to the money. They kept saying "there's $25 Million in there", or more, but the amount stolen kept being reported as $8 Million. They alluded to possibly $16 Million, but what happened to the extra $ that was supposed to be in there? The crooks totally defied the laws of physics when it came to the money. This was millions in varying bills. Yet, $1 Million would be a stack of $100's 4 ft high, 22lbs. $25 million would have never fit in the trunk of a car, especially if it was $1's, $5's, $10's, $20's, and such. For that matter, the $8 Million supposedly put into the trunk of Chris's car wouldn't have fit either. The one detail that totally bothered me was the "drug deal" with the Colombians. A fairly light briefcase was placed on the table, with $8 Million in it; That briefcase would have had to be a magic briefcase to fit $8 Million, and it would weigh over 200 lbs. The Colombians don't question where the money came from, or relate it to a recent theft of $8 Million. They also didn't think to check their buyers for guns? And, nowhere did it say that the police even checked the Colombians for the missing money. Really? Towards the end, Chris tells Nancy, "the money's in the statue". They alluded to the statue in his mother's garden, but that statue was small, and probably Not hollow, let alone spacious enough to hold $8 Million. If you totally suspend belief, and ignore physics, you'll still be bored and angered by this movie. The acting sucked. The characters were Not interesting, believable, or worthy of sympathy. The owners of the security company didn't seem to give a crap. The employees didn't give a crap. And, the cops didn't give a crap. In the end, although they got caught by dumb luck, they still got away with it, and the clip of the real Chris, smirking and gloating, just made you want to whack him. The character of Eddie just made me want to shoot him from the start. He was totally unlikable, and only generated antipathy and hatred towards him. If I had planned a robbery, and my "best friend" was blabbing to everyone about it, I'd have killed him right away. Why he was a best friend totally escaped me. This movie was terrible. It was a waste of time to watch, and only left a sour taste when it was done. I watched, thinking any movie with The Rock, and Thor, would be a great movie; I was so wrong.
Cold Zone (2017)
Total Ripoff of Day After Tomorrow
***Possible Spoilers*** omg, this was a total ripoff of the movie Day After Tomorrow. The premise was the same, a lot of the dialog was straight up plagiarized word for word, and even the special effects were sometimes lifted straight from the other movie. The overall effect was a low quality B movie that was predictable and disappointing. Take my advice, watch The Day After Tomorrow instead; this will only leave you disappointed and disgusted. As for the acting, it left a lot to be desired. The only recognizable face was the depressing ex- scientist, and he looked like it pained him to do this movie, but was under a contract he couldn't get out of. The plot holes were glaring, and totally made the movie unbelievable, like super freezing weather blowing thru, yet the ground was muddy and wet afterwards. Also, the satellite shots of the earth showed a massive storm, yet no one in the rest of the world noticed? yeah, right. The a/v was 10/10. The acting was deplorable, but adequate. Overall, though, the movie was 0 stars. Watching isn't worth the download time, or the effort of hitting play on the DVD/Netflix. Watch at your own peril, but don't say you weren't warned. ijs