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merc_man02
Reviews
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)
what agenda????
My first Spongebob viewing. No kidding! I took the video to work...Ha, just kidding boss! Actually I was on call and got annoyed when my beeper would go off during the movie. I couldn't wait to get back home to see what would happen next. I liked the references to other movies, you know "art imitating art". Like the bad biker being similar to the chopper-riding hit man in "Saving Arizona", and the weird, powered sandwich which sort of reminded me of the clay-mation contraptions that Wallace (of Wallace and Grommit) rigs up.
I was surprised to find there is some sort of "agenda" that Spongebob is supposed to be promoting secretly along with Barney, Arthur, Dora the Explorer, JoJo, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Big Bird and Bob the Builder.....whew! Okay, kids, if you are reading this, stop right now! I mean it! Anyway, I could not for the life of me detect the agenda. Maybe I'm just dumb. Yeah, dumb and sort of naive, like Spongebob himself. In fact, maybe I should, you know, go into a biker bar and blow bubbles. Maybe then someone would come up and tell me what the agenda was.....
Troy (2004)
Good as it is, don't rely on this to get you through your midterm in Classical Studies.
I was impressed with how a modern screen writer adapted this epic to film. The high school I went to required us to labor through Virgil's translation of Homer. We actually did the Odyssey, probably because the staff thought the story of this brutal genocide was too much for us 14 year olds. I find myself saying "but Homer was Greek so how come he didn't make them morally superior to the Trojans?" I have to admit, I'm no Classical scholar, but it has lead me to research the times further. Why did not the Greeks have a hero similar to Hektor, who fought for his country bravely yet, he knew, futilely. Okay, this is not really a spoiler right? I mean everybody knows who "won". What comes to mind as a modern parallel is Dee Brown's "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee". The compassionate telling of the vanquished's tale is a rare skill. Also, there's no money in it, and it gets you ostracized politically. Funny thing, you see, I'm in the NRA, and I once asked the people at the Civilian Marksmanship Program to create a "Crazy Horse Medal". Right now, one of their top medals is named after, you guessed it, Custer. They never responded, but a few weeks later I get a letter from Ollie North. Coincidence? Maybe. OK, enough rambling. I hope the Odyssey is as well done if they make it as a "sequel". Then they can do Virgil's Aeneid. Yes, they worked Aeneis in, go watch the movie!
The Door in the Floor (2004)
How do we learn to grieve? How do we hold another who is grieving?
I remember our nursing graduation. A physician, whom we all loved and respected, gave a brief "try to remember this.." talk. One thing I always remembered was that we should not expect the grieving process to always follow the codified sequence they teach you about. This kind of movie probably takes some life experience to appreciate. Which makes the fact it was adapted and directed by a relatively young man all the more amazing. It lets you feel another's loss by skillfully, slowly developing events and dialog. Certainly John Irving is a master at this, too, but to turn this kind of story into a film can be difficult. I would recommend this on DVD so you can learn the back story of how it was made. As far as the cast and crew, fantastic job! For you younger reviewers, please do not take my earlier comment negatively. Your own lives may have prepared you for the compassion called upon to see this and ....shall I say, like it?
Swiss Family Robinson (1960)
Unrealistic but entertaining adventure story for children.
When I saw this as a boy, I wanted to go there and do that: buld a tree house, fight pirates, have a pet elephant. As an adult I can see the flaws. For one, hyenas would have made their lives a lot more miserable than what happened in the story. While you watch this with your children, though, you may find the pirate captain, accomplished actor Sessue Hayakawa, to be most entertaining as he looks very menacing and reels off line after line in what sounds like some kind of strange language (ad lib perhaps). He was the best part! You will also see some familiar actors, both adults and children. The story has many background subplots which are not really explored. These include fleeing military oppression and the colonial ideology of the day. Since it's for children, Disney was probably right to minimize them.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
The King is dead....or is he?
Gotta start off by saying I am old enough to get mailings from AARP, so I like the idea of going out with my boots on..."takin' care of business". The writer does have a sense of the helplessness aging people may sometimes face. You young fellers out there ever wonder what an old codger's dreaming about? He's kickin' ass and takin names is what. Yeah, this movie sagged in some places, but it was worth hanging in there for the great one-liners and dialog between Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. I wonder if they ad-libbed.
Long live the King!
Biker Boyz (2003)
Keep your finger on fast forward.
This will make you want to sell you street bike and burn your leathers unless you realize it was really a comedy that was mis-tagged. It is soooo cool how there is no slipstream to rip a rider off the bike at 180 mph (approximate top speed of stock 'busa) and you can sit right up on them...kind of like a dirt bike...or a gravel road bike at least. Who let that BMW R1100RS sneak in there...did you see it toward the end? California is such a cool state...I want to live there and join a "biker club".
OK, OK, there were some good scenes. Like when mom kicks Kid out of the car after bailing him out of jail and makes him walk. She showed him who was boss. A spanking would have helped here, too. Poor Smoke, can't get a real job and is forced to hang around a club with....well, younger people. In fact, did anyone in that movie have a job besides Kid's mom and the tattoo artist?
Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Redemption!
Don't I long for redemption, too! Maybe just like everyone else. Although I'm also an aging "almost good enough" athlete, the part that hit me in the gut was when Donna (Mary McCormack) confronts John (Russell Crowe). Men, when our bodies start to fail, why do we withdraw from our loved ones? DAMN! (I hope that passes the censors). Crowe's character got another chance with a renewed outlook, a vision transformed. It wasn't about the shot that almost tied the game with the Rangers. When the drama of the 2003 Tour de France was unfolding and people were speculating on whether Lance Armstrong would come back for a sixth attempt, all I could think of was his earlier marital problems during spring training. Having been there, I wanted to say "Lance, don't forget we only get one life. The Tour will not be that important in the end".
Conspiracy Theory (1997)
This one will be a classic.
Well, okay, it's one of my favorites. Mel Gibson's character, Jerry, punches right to the heart with me. Not because of the conspiracy stuff, and his general whackiness, but because he is totally devoted to Alice. This is the modern interpretation of the Aurthurian/Celtic knight's tale. It does not matter if the lady knows or not, but he has put himself in her service. Hey guys - aren't there more of you out there to whom this has happened? For me, the last scene, where Jerry watches from afar is a metaphor for those of us who put our hearts and hands in service to our lady. This sounds soooo corny, but the fact is it has happened for thousands of years and will for thousands more. The stories are part of our mythology because they give meaning to the painful experiences of love.
Boss of Bosses (2001)
Twenty-two shots from two guns - no reloads.
This story has been modified for the screen without a doubt. For the assassination scene two eight-round semi-autos fired twenty-two shots with no visible reloads, leaving shell casings as evidence all over the place? Okay, so I have high standards for docudramas. The book this was based on was pretty good. It did not portray Paul Castellano as sympathetically as was done in the movie. For those with an interest in this story and no time to read it's okay, but don't kid yourself that this is the whole story.