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Gallowwalkers (2012)
Possibly the Worst Movie Ever Made.
I don't say this lightly, but this really is the worst movie i have ever seen. The funny thing is, the trailer for it didn't look half bad. The initial thrill of seeing Wesley Snipes back at it is quickly replace by the horror of what you are watching. The story, there is none. Something about half dead people. But don't worry, it doesn't make any sense anyway.
It never gets going, and just when your about to turn it off, its over. The ending is timed perfectly with even the most ardent viewers ability to watch drivel before reaching for the remote. This movie made me take a good hard look in the mirror and ask what it is Im doing with my life. Am i really on this planet long enough to waste the kind of time needed to trudge through this crap fest.
So before you put yourself through the misery of this movie. Ask yourself, is there something better you could be doing with your time. Like chopping onions, or staring a freshly painted wall.
Yin Yang Insane (2007)
Not By The Hairs On His Chinny Chin Chin
What could possibly be better than one Robert Z'Dar. That's right. No Roberts Z'Dar. But fortunately this movie has two Robert Z'dars. Cause lets face it. No one plays Robert Z'dar like Robert Z'dar. I wont spoil the movie for you by giving away plot points, or revealing that there are in fact only 3 scenes in this 40 min epic.
Not since Anthony Perkins performance in Psycho have I seen the decay of mans mind unfold on screen with such mastery. If you pause it just right, you can actually see the moment Z'dar cracks and splits into two.
So emotional is his performance that at times I forgot I was watching a movie and not a documentary on split personality disorder.
A gangster (Z'dar) crumbles due to the moral conundrum he faces thanks to his latest and greatest score. We watch him drive a car....for 15 minutes. Talk to himself, stop for gas, then have a shootout with himself. Its hard to shoot at nothing and make the audience believe your shooting at someone. But rest assured Robert pulls it off in a most chintastic way. Somewhere amongst the madness he dies. This is not explained, but I feel we all know what happened and its better off left unsaid.
Interesting side note. The director was initially going to cast a double in place of Z'dars alter ego. The entire budget was then used up buying chin putty to place on the actors face. Unfortunately the unknown actor died during filming being crushed by the enormous amount of putty placed on his face. Luckily Zdar stepped up to the plate and took on the role of himself.