enigma-947-339467 Reviews

Welcome to Me (2014)

Absolutely nothing like BPD

[2/10 · 21 March 2024]

I have borderline personality disorder. The character portrayed in this movie was mostly autistic. Borderlines have trouble regulating our moods, along other things, but we're FULLY AWARE of it, which is in stark contrast to the bobble head, disconnected, head in the clouds character, Kristen Wiig played here.

While you can get meds to help treat the disorder, it's generally not helpful, and in general, dialectic behavioral therapy is used as the main go to treatment.

Did they even research the disorder? An actual list of symptoms can be found in 60 seconds. This character is not borderline.

If you're going to have a movie with a mental illness, at least portray the correct one!

The Royal Hotel (2023)

Please avoid this trash

[1/10 · 25 October 2023]

You just know something bad is going to happen, as they tell you that in the movie description.

They keep feeding you this through the entire movie. You wait, then wait, then wait some more and you think, oh, here it is, then nothing.

They do this over and over and over again.

They go off on some useless tangents that lead absolutely nowhere. You get stringed along for basically the entire movie with ZERO payoff.

The 2nd lead is absolutely oblivious to the danger she's in and rejects it as the main lead keeps trying to help her.

Absolutely exhausting. Like, how stupid can you be?

With 5 mins left, you literally don't care what happens. You're exhausted from the neverending tease.

I was fast forwarding it 1/2 way through to the end. A road to nowhere. Please don't let this garbage movie waste your night like it did mine.

See You on Venus (2023)

Plays like a low rent Hallmark movie

[3/10 · 2 October 2023]

Acting is pretty atrocious from almost every character. Everything is stiff, the music is predictably cheesy and immature, like the background of a barney episode.

Script is predictable, cliche, and well, dorky.

It seems like an AI wrote this script.

All the scenes seem really rushed, like this was a first time director just trying things out for the first time, and wanting to get everything done in one take.

Seriously, you could guess the next line of each character. That's how predictable everything is. Here's the part what they cry, here's the loving father son moment, etc.

Don't waste you time. There are much better movies in this genre.

The Adults (2023)

Absolutely mindless, boring, pretentious garbage

[1/10 · 20 August 2023]

The title really says it all. The first 8 mins you watch the main character set up electronics in his hotel room. Absolutely riveting!!!

The last thing people wanna do when they see a movie, is watch people do mundane, boring, mindless crap that isn't even remotely interesting to watch.

I gave up 15 mins in.

I was literally fast forwarding to see if this was all there was to this movie. Wooden, plain, unlikable, boring characters, having the most boring banter imaginable, like robots. Driftwood has more personality and life than these characters.

I can't imagine how lifeless and boring your life is that you would sit there and watch this tripe. I feel like I should have been paid to sit through this, as it was pure torture. I'd rather watch paint dry.

Bloodline (2015–2017)

Infuriatingly slow and boring

[3/10 · 1 June 2023]

I have to say that I'm astounded by the high reviews. The characters they chose, have to be some of the most boring, lifeless, and dull characters I've ever seen in a tv show. They have so many long sweeping shots of nothing constantly, just to fill the time and pad this into a series. The father in the show, is exciting to watch, as watching grass grow.

Almost every character is dull and uninteresting.

There's a cool back story, but it's so tediously dragged out, I know I'll give up on this show before I ever get there.

You can literally fast forward countless scenes and you'll miss nothing from the story. All the drone flyovers, the foliage shots, OMG, just tell the story already. I'm not here to watch a nature documentary.

The problem son acts like he's drunk in every scene. They set him up to fail and it's no secret, so it's like watching a car crash in ultra slow motion. Avoid this tedious mess of show, unless you like watching paint dry.

The Dark (I) (2018)

Excruciating and painfully slow and boring

[1/10 · 27 April 2023]

Did I mention nonsensical and stupid? None of the science fiction elements were ever explained. So if you're curious about the how or why, you're not going to get it here.

It was so boring, I literally had to fast forward 100 times just to retain my sanity. 5.6 for this???

Looks the work of the bot armies upvoting crap like this just to trick people into watching it is still going strong.

Everyone was taking 5x slower than they had to, and in total, there had to only be 300 words of dialog for the entire movie. Oh the pauses, so many unnecessary and mindless pauses. Forget "slow burn", this was "slow death", on the viewer.

I feel like a 12 year old wrote the script. If you have more than an 50 IQ, this nonsense will infuriate you. Avoid this idiocy and save your brain cells.

Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023)

I was done after 5 mins

[1/10 · 7 February 2023]

Please, do me a favor, and watch and rewatch the first 5 mins of this tripe and explain how any of that made any sense at all.

All the guys with the guns. They did nothing. Bad guy walks in, dude across the bar starts turning to a wolf, then somehow vanishes, accomplishing nothing. Girl who has the what the bad guy is looking for doesn't transform, for some insane and unknown reason, then tries to when it's too late. What???

Then all the guys at the bar with guns simply vanish. They don't help at all. They just disappeared.

Like an idiot, wolf boy decides to leap at the bad guy with bullets that can stop him, when he could have stopped him before, gets shot easily in the air, and knocked down to the ground.

Who writes this trash? After such brainless idiocy they call an action sequence, I knew the writing, logic, and direction were so bad, it would have been insulting to my intelligence to keep watching.

The Estate (II) (2022)

This was supposed to be a comedy?

[1/10 · 23 December 2022]

40 mins in. Not a single laugh, and I love comedy. The writing is terrible. Some great actors, working with the worst possible script.

I don't believe a single one of these reviews that said they thought this movie was funny. It's a predictable snoozefest. What an absolute waste of a good cast. Anna Farris, jeez, she looks terrible too. She did not age well. The dude from Office Space. Poor guy can't get a good script to save his life.

David Duchovny looks terrible too.

Looks like I need to pad this out just to say the most obvious thing I can, that this movie isn't funny, at all. Don't waste your time. Trust me.

Hell Trip (2018)

5.5 for this mess?

[1/10 · 20 August 2022]

Let's see, acting? Terrible.

Writing? Terrible.

Story? Terrible.

Special Effects? Terrible.

This was up voted. I didn't last 25 mins watching this garbage.

Crimes of the Future (2022)

Wtf did I just watch?

[1/10 · 22 June 2022]

I'll tell you right now that 90% of the good reviews of this trash they called a movie, are fake.

I love science fiction and horror. This was neither.

I'm still trying to figure out how in the living hell they showed a little boy naked in a movie, gratuitously. I don't care if it was cgi, or plastic, you can't show child naked. Ever. Of course, they would have never done that scene with a female child.

This wasn't a movie. It was a pile of absolute esoteric nonsense. Absolute snoozefest. I fast forwarded 1/2 the movie to see what happened, but nothing ever did. Please, don't waste you evening on whatever the hell this was.

The Bubble (2022)

All that talent with a crap script

[4/10 · 3 May 2022]

It just wasn't funny. I only laughed twice in 30 mins.

This is supposed to be a comedy???

Where have all the comedy writers gone?

There hasn't been a really funny comedy in years.

Warning (II) (2021)

Absolutely terrible

[1/10 · 24 October 2021]

Disjoint bunch of nonsensical stories, barely intertwined. No real beginning, no end. Absolutely pointless waste of time. Ended up fast forwarding to get to the end, which was also garbage. There was zero point to this film. None. Whatever they think they tried to get across, they failed miserably.

Seriously pass on this. You can thank me later.

Malignant (I) (2021)

6 3 for this trash? What??

[4/10 · 29 September 2021]

This is laughably terrible. I almost shut it off after the first scene due to terrible acting and equally terrible special effects. How could this many reviews be fake?

I love horror and this movie was complete trash. 1:51 in length too. Dear lord. Even the scares are laughable.

Sweet Girl (2021)

Most unrealistic fight scenes outside of 70's Kung fu!

[1/10 · 24 August 2021]

I have mma, street fighting, and bouncing experience. I was cringing at how absolutely ridiculous these fight scenes were. So bad, I shut the movie off after 40 mins. I couldn't take it anymore.

This 160 pound guy picks up mamoa like he was a doll. Right. Each actor getting their heads smashed into glass and metal, not a scratch, then they keep fighting like nothing happened. Ridiculous.

They might as well have has super powers, bc at least 10 times per fight they would have died or gone unconscious. Avoid this trash at all costs.

How It Ends (2021)

Boring and where were the jokes?

[3/10 · 27 July 2021]

I gave it a chance but it put me to sleep. Didn't laugh out loud once in 25 mins so I called it.

Not much else to say about it. Be prepared for a mediocre story and writing.

Noise in the Middle (2020)

Absolutely infuriating

[2/10 · 25 February 2021]

After 42 mins I couldn't take anymore of this so-called father, who apparently, somehow missed the first 11 years of this autistic girl's life, and acted like he just met her for the first time. He had NO IDEA how to handle and autistic child. Really? After 11 years, you learned NOTHING? She whined for the entire time and he raged at her, making it worse. Even a toddler would have figured out the behavior that was making things worse and made an adjustment. Not this idiot. BAD, no, horrible writing. I give up.

Sacrifice (VII) (2020)

Had potential then goes nowhere and ends abruptly.

[3/10 · 22 February 2021]

Absolute garbage ending, zero answers or explanations given. Then it just suddenly ends and the credits roll. What?

Had potential 90% through, last 10 mins ruined the movie. It's like the writer just completely gave up and didn't have an ending.

At least we got to see that hot chick naked for a while ;)

Bliss (I) (2021)

Don't watch this if you want closure or answers.

[2/10 · 20 February 2021]

Without a spoiler, I'll just warn you that if you want answers to anything that happened in this movie, you're not going to get any. They ended it with one simple realization, but many questions remain unanswered. The way it ended just wasn't even close to good enough.

Somewhere (2010)

Should have been called "nowhere"

[2/10 · 25 December 2020]

Why? Because that's where it went.

How this has the overall rating it does is beyond me.

It's just extremely boring scenes from his life, with no beginning, no end, no result, no conclusion, no outcome, nothing.

I have no idea how people can enjoy a story that has no progression, no real content, and no start and end. It's just a bunch of random scenes thrown together, that aren't even interesting.

Hollywood, please stop making this type of movie.

The Dinner Party (2020)

Awful. Every character is beyond pretentious and...

[2/10 · 30 August 2020]

Vile. All these 9 and 10 star reviews are 100% fake. Made by the staff and crew. Anyway, eccentric weirdos you have to listen to, but don't want to. A bunch pseudo intellectual db's you kind of want to punch after listening to their arrogant nonsense babble after 2 mins. I shut out off after 30 mins bc I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sure the characters are 100% intentionally created but their bs is absolutely intolerable.

The Week Of (2018)

Had a really slow start but it got a bit better...

[4/10 · 23 May 2020]

I've liked other Sandler movies, but this definitely isn't one of his best. Could have been a lot better.

A Night of Horror: Nightmare Radio (2019)

Upvoted by hundreds of fake accounts

[3/10 · 24 March 2020]

This movie wasn't horrible but it wasn't good either. The radio host character was absolutely abysmal. He tried so hard to be scary and suspenseful but came across as a piece of cardboard.

I only lasted 30 minutes and 2 stories into the movie. The 1st was completely nonsensical, boring. and not even remotely scary. The 2nd tried to have a punch but fell completely flat. It was a complete and utter snooze fest waiting for the completely anticlimactic ending.

I've seen up voting before but I'm surprised to see 800 possible fake accounts just to up vote this movie. Both of the written reviews are completely fake and you can always tell because they're so ridiculously over the top about how much they love the movie and then you watch it and realize there's no way that any real person could have thought that about THIS movie. In pretty sure they just cut and paste them from real movie review websites, made for different movies.

Imdb seriously needs to solve this problem.

Nefarious (II) (2019)

Total garbage

[1/10 · 18 March 2020]

Movie staff upvoting again.

Shut it off for the bad acting, garbage script, and terrible camera work.

A World Away (2019)

100% fake reviews. This is unwatchable.

[1/10 · 6 January 2020]

7.1??? This is so bad, everything, acting, story, script, special effects, etc, that it seems to me that they made it bad on purpose.

If you don't believe me, try and watch it. See if you can last more than 10 minutes.

Abduction (I) (2019)

B-movie trash

[2/10 · 5 January 2020]

Terribly slow and pathetic fight scenes, awful acting, awful script. Cheap, cheesy sound effects everywhere.

Astounded by the overall score. Did they even watch it?

I shut it off after 20 mins. My gf and I kept looking at each other like, NO, we're not watching the rest of this garbage.