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The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)
Started off promising and then....
Obviously, everyone knows Dracula by now. Stoker's novel has been redone multiple times so there's not much new to tell. The idea of taking a small bit of the book and expanding on it is intriguing.
The set design here is great. I felt like they nailed the 19th century ship aesthetic. Acting for the most part was good. The captain and his original crew were the best characters.
Now, for the negatives and there were enough that the movie just soured on me as it progressed.
First off they should have not revealed Dracula so soon. He looked like a rubber puppet, the cgi invoked no fear in me at all. In fact, I think late 90s Mummy had better cgi. I almost wish they'd just go back to a guy with some make up and gnarly teeth. The bat humanoid thing has been overdone.
Secondly, the characters are the typical horror movie idiots and just ask to be offed easily. The boy is the only intelligent one.
Lastly, the protagonist stinks. He invokes no feeling of caring at all about him. How in the world was he doing blood transfusions in the late 1800s without knowing blood type??? In typical Hollywood fashion they also couldn't help themselves and had to bash you over the head with his race and victimhood in the end as well. I guess it's impossible to have a black man in a movie as an interesting character and not mention his skin color. Race must be shoehorned in at every opportunity, especially in a story about English and Romanians.
Also, what was that ending??? Is he going to suddenly become Van Helsing in a sequel?
The movie fell off hard after the grandson's death.
Road House (2024)
I was ready to hate this
I'm not going to pretend this was some masterpiece but I think people are being overly critical. I'm an elder millennial (Oregon Trail Gen!) so I'm going to have a special place in my heart for the original. I won't say this quite lived up to the original. Sam Elliot and Swayze brought something that can't quite be recreated today. However, fans of the original need to be realistic.... It was cheesy, like super cheesy. I still remember Swayze kicking the overweight guy through the window with the fakest roundhouse kick I've ever seen and the the dude just looked like he jumped out.
So, this version didn't have the all the charm but it did have some. Gyllenhall was great, as always. The book store girl was super likable and helped provide a reason for Elwood to stick around. The fight scenes were far far better than the original and I don't see how anyone could argue against that objectively. Only a couple of the bar staff were memorable and the owner just seemed pointless. I agree that McGregor was over the top. He had some great moments too though. I think they could have done better reigning McGregor in and maybe spending time making some of the Roadhouse crew a little more memorable. The plot was meh but so was the original and no one watches a movie like this for the plot. If you make the characters likable enough you don't need a great plot. This is more like a 6.5 for me but I'm rounding up due to the ridiculously low ratings from some.
That Awkward Moment (2014)
Old fashioned dude humor
I'm not going to pretend this was some master piece. This was just a good old standard bro feel good romcom movie. I never saw this when it came out but I'm glad I watched it. Zach, Miles, and Jordan are great actors and they really gelled in this. Maybe I'm just and old millennial now but I can't relate to modern comedies with young gen z people. They seem to all be playing it safe and it's just not funny for me. There were several good lol moments in this movie and it had some heart. It was a pretty play by the book story and there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of modern movies seem to think they need to make everything unique to the point they create plots that just don't attract people's attention. You don't need a special story all of the time. Sometimes you just need good actors, good dialogue, and good writing.
Have a couple beers and enjoy some guy humor.
The Outpost (2019)
One of the best war movies I've watched in awhile
I'm going to start off by saying all these reviewers discussing their personal stances one whether we should've been in Afghanistan are irrelevant to the film. You're not rating the movie as a stand alone, you're discussing politics. Just because a movie is about a certain military occupation doesn't mean the message is what you think it's about. I myself, have my own qualms with our American propensity to dispense "democracy" to nations that don't want it.
Moving forward, I found this film to be incredibly realistic. The banter between soldiers seemed very authentic. There was appropriate build up to the major battle. The actions scenes were extremely intense. Most of all, it portrayed the battle in a way that made me really understand what these guys went through and how hard it was.
For all those "naysayers" that do feel the need to interject their personal political leanings on American involvement in the Middle East.... I think the film isn't really portraying it in a way that makes our time there or the decisions made by government officials, look good. In fact, I think the message here is that we as a nation really screwed up in certain aspects and our leadership is abysmal in many ways. However, we need to recognize what we put our young men through.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Every scene does not need forced humor.
So, first off I'll say overall I enjoyed the film. Rocket's origin story is definitely what held it together and the scenes with his "evolution" into his current form were great. Additionally, there were some very cool environments in this installment that made it very creative. The organic space station really stood out and I enjoyed the design of it (and Nathan Fillion was a great extra).
Now for the negative aspects of the film, and there were quite a few. MCU fans have a particular skill in being able to just brush off terrible plot holes and obnoxious character inserted to just get a momentary "aww it's so cute moment".
-the humor in this film just wore on me. It was so forced in every scene. After a decade of this nonsense I'm just done with it. There was constant bickering in this. Calling each other a-hole, d-head etc. Is only funny for so long. The formulaic MCU humor is tiresome at this point. Just be serious for a moment please.
-the "counter-earth" planet looked like a terrible B-movie from the 80s or an episode of Start Trek TNG. Maybe they were trying to be humorous? Every "advanced" creature created by the evolutionary there just had a humanoid figure with a different animalistic face shape. A pig lady with human hands, a reptilian with female mammalian breasts???
-the music.... You chose the 90s and those were the best songs you could find? The peak of 90s music was not Spacehog, it's a good band but come on.
-the High Evolutionary is simultaneously a moron and also a genius. He got his face completely scratched off and somehow didn't have the technology to fix it. Really, the best you could do was create mask for yourself even though you've created entire new species? He also gave himself 1 power that was easily thwarted by Rocket at the end. Good actor, weak villain.
-Enough with the cutesy animal like creatures interjected to get an aww from little kids (this movie was too violent and disturbing for small children anyway). What was the point of the furry dog thing? It reminds me of the stupid bird creatures they stuck in the new SW.
Overall, worth a watch and the 2nd best in the series. It was definitely better than anything else MCU has come out with lately but that's not saying much since the current MCU is a garbage heap.
Jesus Revolution (2023)
Filler, no substance
Really, the first 30-45 minutes of this movie explains it all and you don't need th rest of it. They just seemed to be filling in the gaps with Greg's romantic interest and his mommy issues.
It was well filmed and well acted at least.
I would rather have seen a documentary with a neutral observer.
This movie is obviously trying to push the positive aspects of bringing the hippie movement to Jesus but it's devoid of any real Christian substance. It just speaks in platitudes about "peace, love, acceptance". Yes, that's part of Christianity but it's a very surface level understanding of religion that is kinda useless in the end. You can love people but not accept their actions. I know the modern thought is we should just praise everyone for anything they decide to do. At some point acceptance just becomes enablement. A lot of these hippies just seem to be mooches with no productive value to society. At some point they need to give back and not just sing songs and raise their hands in the air. I have a feeling that this Calvary church is basically the same in real life... they probably get people to come by saying a lot of things that make them feel good on the surface, and a community that lavishes people with praises of love and acceptance. In the end though this just doesn't provide people with any deeper meaning or purpose because it's just a quick dopamine hit akin to addiction (maybe this is what attracted all the drug addict hippies?)
They did spend a little time showing Frisbee go the televangelist route and start performing fake miracles to gain fame. However, they even tried to paint that in a good light with Chuck saying he believed he had been granted powers from God but need to "tone it down"
Grammer.was great but I just think overall this movie was a bit too full of platitudes and suffered from a lot of extra filler that wasn't all that productive plot wise.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Good, but not the best in the series
First off, I liked the movie. There are some amazing actions sequences that are super well shot. The scene in the German night club and the scene out in the Paris street where everyone was getting slammed by vehicles was great fun. Not only were the fighting sequences great, they were also lit well (German night club) and the camera angles were great.
Now, for the cons.....
They went too far into the realm of unreal-ism and turned it into a superhero-esque movie.
Kane (Yen's character) was awesome but making him blind was silly. They did a good job at the beginning of showing him using using door bell type devices to pick people out, and other sounds. Towards the end though he just turned into a daredevil-esque type character that was able to suddenly headshot people on demand.
I didn't really enjoy the gun fights in this one. Wick relied almost entirely on his pistol that seemed to have unlimited ammo. Almost everything was close up fast round dumps into every bad guy. The body armor stuff was overkill. Every character can take multiple mag dumps and has a super armored suit on? Really?
Wick had too many superhuman moments. He fell from ridiculous heights and just got up without an issue.
Lastly, the stair scene at the end was laughable. I felt like I was watching some B movie that was meant to be funny. Wick would get kicked and when it looked like he should obviously be out of momentum, would continue down another 10 flights of steps to the bottom (it was so obvious the stunt man was making himself roll more).
Overall, I enjoyed it but I think it's time to hang it up Keanu. They're risking Fast and Furious ridiculousness if they continue. Keanu really is moving like an old man now too. I'll have to go back and watch the first movie but it definitely had a better plot and from what I remember seemed slighlty more based in reality.
The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die (2023)
Overall, fitting end to a great show with minor annoyances
Overall, I enjoyed this. I think it did Uhtred justice and provided some closure on a show that paid homage to a wonderful book series (which everyone should read if they're a fan of this)
I only had a few qualms with it. It was too fast paced. I think it could have benefited from another 30-45 minutes to set up things a little better.
Secondly, Aethesltan was just underwhelming. His gay relationship served zero purpose other than to fill the lgbtq quota. They could wipe the scene of them playing tug rope with each other and no one would notice. At least take the time to make it seem like they had an emotional investment in one another. Imo they could have done better making them good friends. Additionally, I had to laugh at the irony of the only two lgbtq characters being the two worst in the movie. Aethelstan came off as dumb and weak while his lover was completely a completely forgettable whiney nuisance (I can't even remember his name writing this).
Thirdly, I was quite annoyed the King who's supposedly the greatest King of England was just this effeminate weakling that only made it through with Uhtred backing him. He did nothing Kingly the entire movie.
Qualms aside... seeing Uhtred peer into Valhalla at the end brought a tear to my eye and I'm glad I watched this.
The Mandalorian (2019)
Star Wars is done
There's nothing left to tell in the SW universe. They've milked the teat dry. You're literally watching a brand where they just slap the SW label on, devoid of any sort of plot or story line and they know the reliable npc's will continue to bring in a dedicated line of money.
The Jack Black/Lizzo cameo has to be one of the most cringe things I've seen in awhile. I felt like I was watching some super low budget CW teen drama. If you're an adult with an average IQ there is no way you can actually be enjoying this drivel. You're lying out of some weird ideological dedication to a brand if you actually pretend to care about Disney SW. This is a brand now, like Nike shoes. They don't care about the fans.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Utter Garbage trying to pass as "Art"
This movie reminds me of modern fine art. Everyone knows it's absolute crap deep down and it takes far less talent than traditional art where an actual skill set had to be built up over years to make something look photorealistic or depict some religious scene. People will pay millions for trash modern art in attempt to seem unique.
EEAAO is akin to a Jackson Pollock painting. Some weirdo who thought he/she was really creative just flung "artistic" poo at the wall in a really weird way. The poo happened to align with tHe mEssAge somewhat so Hollywood began drooling all over it.
A few years from now absolutely no one will even remember this B-movie garbaggio that tricked a few drama nerds into caring about it.
Andor (2022)
Finally a Star Wars series for adults
What a refreshing series.
Character building X
Plot X
Realistic Acting X
Good Dialogue X
It was really nice having such an adult tone with great dialogue and acting that's been sorely lacking from every SW series (including Mando which I liked).
Yes zoomers this is what a plot and character building looks like. This is how you build a memorable story and avoid a Mary Sue (Rey) that no one will care about the minute they leave the theater. I'm sorry they didn't throw any lightsabers or baby yoda in as gimmicks to keep your attention and cover up a garbage plot (Boba Fett).
I'm also glad they didn't crap all over past characters (episodes 7,8,9) or go to the usual man hating girl power ridiculousness we've come to expect from Disney.
Let's just hope they don't mess it up going forward.
Uncharted (2022)
Poor adaptation of the game and terrible antagonist
Overall it was ok. I didn't mind Holland as Drake. He's not quite what video game Drake was but he's a good actor and made it work. Wahlberg wasn't really a great choice either.
My main issue with this movie was the female antagonist "Jo" they chose. More of the Hollywood trope where a small skin and bones of a woman runs around beating up much bigger men. Fine, whatever. But... then they decide to have her kill of Banderas. Why? Why would Banderas' henchmen suddenly follow her around? She has no standing, no money, isn't physically intimidating in any way and dresses like a moron. The movie would have been no different if she wasn't in it.
Finally, I don't know what was going on with Drake not using a gun most of the movie. Maybe Holland is anti-gun or something? Drake literally where's a shoulder holster with a pistol in every game.
The English (2022)
Something off about it
There's just something not quite right about this western? Maybe it's the British perspective?
I like the main character but everyone else seems kinda over the top. The dialogue seems really fake and the actions of the characters seem like something right out of red dead redemption. That stuff works in a video game but not a drama.
The other thing that bothers me about this show is the cinematography. It's both beautiful and fake looking at the same time. It almost seems soap opera like.
I just don't think Brits or most foreigners can pull off a western. It's like they're playing Halloween costume party. Sergio Leone was an exception and not the norm. You can put Power of the Dog up there with horrible foreign influenced westerns as well
Lastly, even if you like this it doesn't deserve an 8 putting it on par with the best westerns ever made.
Oblivion (2013)
Pleasantly surprised
I never gave this a chance when it was released. It received mediocre reviews and it just kinda fell off my radar.
I have to agree with others and say it's definitely underrated. Great plot (minus a few plot holes), amazing acting, cgi looks awesome (it's just as good as modern movies or better even though this is a decade old).
I've noticed a lot lately that if I go back to the mid 2010's or earlier I find a lot of good movies. It just shows you how far Hollywood has fallen off. Weirdly CGI seems to peak around that time and then studios just got lazy or something and cheaper out with bad graphics and bad writing.
Barbarian (2022)
Split personality movie that fails in the 2nd half
Oof people giving this 7-8 stars must be doing it for the comedy factor.
I really enjoyed the first half. It was suspenseful. You couldn't figure out whether it was Keith or someone else creeping around the AirBnB.
Then.... they discovered the basement dwelling and even that was a little thrilling until they fully revealed the "hag" with its giant bosom wanting to have children of its own and sticks its rotten teats in adult men's mouths.
I should have known the mere presence of Justin Long and his go to clumsy doofus character was a sign of what would come.
The 2nd half of this movie just turns into campy comedy like horror akin to Jeepers Creepers (thanks JL). I'd prefer they'd just gone with that the whole time so I didn't waste and hour thinking I was getting a more nuanced and well written horror.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Intriguing but no GOT.... yet
Ok well this definitely isn't an 8.8. Putting it on par with GOT which is leagues above this is silly.
Decent writing, great scenery, all the backstabbing and politicking is being set up so I can see where this might get a lot better. You can tell George RR has his hands in it which is good.
Unfortunately, the casting is just kinda meh like others have mentioned. Rhaenyra is basically just a Daenerys clone with a less cool story. The king is kind forgettable as well. So far the only character I find interesting is Daemon.
I will say you're much better off spending your time on this fantasy instead of that poor excuse Amazon put out.
Prey (2022)
Better than expected but some major problems
Well, admittedly I thought this was gonna be another Hollywood feminist / white man hating film. While there were hints of that (fur trappers were portrayed as evil but somehow it was ok for the Native Americans to just kill a lion for their spiritual quest) on the whole they didn't focus on it.
The brother and dog kinda stole the show here even though they were not the main character. It was a nice somewhat original take on the Predator. The fight scene with several of the tribe members was awesome and so was the scene where the brother rode in on a horse.
My main qualms with the film were the awful animal cgi, the weird choices the Predator made and his strange sliding scale of power. In one scene he's military pressing a grizzly and splitting it in half but suddenly he's not powerful enough to kill a 90lb woman at the end. Additionally, he decided to use ridiculously high tech weapons at certain times and then would suddenly revert to primitive weaponry. Finally, the way in which the main character killed him in the end just wasn't believable (basically brute physical force not even body builder Arnie could do that). Oh and that axe with a rope? That was just plain dumb, an axe spinning end over end with a rope attached would just tangle up... the physics don't work.
Giving this a 6 because the original Predator only gets a 7.8 on IMDb and I can't justify rating this any higher in comparison. I put this film on par with the 2nd movie. The original is an action sci-fi masterpiece.
The Gray Man (2022)
Meh doesn't do the books justice
As a stand alone film it's ok but it takes too many of its own creative choices for a book that already had an amazing story. I'll never understand how Hollywood can F up great source material by inserting their own stupid characters and changing the storyline.
Pros-
Gosling and Evans great. Awesome locations
Cons-
CGI is trash and the action scenes are all kinda mediocre
You pretty much just end up with a B movie Bourne Identity here.
The Northman (2022)
Awesome mix of mythology and reality
I really don't understand the negative reviews here. I thought this was a great mix of mythology/fantasy and Viking history. I was a big fan of the Viking show and loved The Last Kingdom for its historical view point but neither of those shows seemed to really delve into the cerebral side of the pagan religion. I like the 13th warrior as well for similar reasons.
I think the problem here is that a lot of people aren't well read and haven't read Beowulf or been exposed to other things that introduce that Viking mythology/religion. If you're someone who's enamored with those things you'll really enjoy this portrayal.
Also the cast was great. Skarsgard, Hawke, Kidman,Taylor., Bang were terrific. It really had almost a Shakespearean feel to the acting whic was great.
Vikings (2013)
Fell apart after Ragnar
Yeah Ivar, Lagertha, and Bjorn weren't good character replacements for Ragnar. Ivar's character was just so over the top I was wishing someone would immediately kill him.
If you want a better show with an actual plot then go watch "The Last Kingdom". They had actual books to go off of so it doesn't drop off like Vikings.
Stranger Things (2016)
Still entertaining after 4 seasons
I have to say this show keeps me watching so they must be doing something right.
However can they please stop killing off some of the better characters? Mike, Will, and Robin can all die off please. Mike's just an obnoxious character that serves as 11's simp and Robin/Will are only there to fill the lgbtq quota since they have essentially zero other character development at this point. You killed off Billy, Eddie, and Bob which were all infinitely more interesting characters than Robin/Will/Mike.
Terror on the Prairie (2022)
Not very good
Another mediocre DW addition. Good on DailyWire for trying to make it into a market dominated by others but man they just kinda seem to be scooping up Hollywood leftovers.
The plot here is just bad. All of the conflict could have been avoided and then Gina's character had multiple chances to take the bad guys out and suddenly decided not to after firing at them for 20 minutes???
And I'm sorry, but Gina Carano isn't a good actress. She delivered every line in the same monotone unenthused way. She seems like a nice lady but I'm starting to think Disney just used the whole Twitter woke cancellation as an excuse to get rid of a sub-par actress while gaining some left wing brownie points.
People rating this 7+ are out of their minds. They're only doing so because this was produced by a conservative company. This is coming from someone who subscribes to the DW....
Death on the Nile (2022)
Bad acting, terrible cgi, but checks all the DEI boxes
First hour completely useless.
Hey who cares if the plot takes a background position and the acting is trash as long as you make sure to get some interracial and lesbian relationships forced into the 1930s for no purpose at all right?
Oh and the cgi is god awful. You're floating down a river and you couldn't even get real boats or film some actual crocodiles or snakes?
The Batman (2022)
Good but not Dark Knight good
There are some things I really liked about this movie that I think made it better than Nolan's Batman in some ways. However, overall it doesn't quite overtake it.
Things done better/Pros-
-The more dreary Gotham is preferable to me. Nolan kept his Gotham too clean and it just seemed like NYC. This had a nice balance between Burton and Nolan.
-Detective Batman is interesting and Pattinson pulled it off
-Colin Farrell as Penguin was awesome. I really like Torturo as Falcone as well
-Realistic fight scenes and Batmobile
Cons
-Movie was too long and dragged in spots
-The Riddler was good for most of the movie it he got too over the top at the end. Certainly better than Jim Carrey's version.
-Brooding Batman good. Brooding Bruce Wayne? No, Wayne can't be some introverted hermit and keep his company and image in place.
-Kravitz was a good catwoman and I'm glad they didn't let her beat up Batman but for someone that looks like they weigh 100lbs soaking wet it got a bit ridiculous watching her toss guys twice her weight around.
-They nearly managed to avoid all things woke but shoehorned in some out of place wHiTe pRivilEge comment and I'm going to assume the black mayor beating out an evil white man was another instance of DEI rearing its head.
-Missed opportunity to let a great actor like Pattinson talk a little more.
Heath Ledger as Joker and Bale as Batman in The Dark Knight is still the pinnacle. I think to even compete they needed to put their own spin on Batman here and it was a nice change.
Ozark (2017)
Oof several good seasons destroyed by DEI and tHe mEssAge
Honestly, how many manly looking women can you shoehorn into the 2nd half of the last season? What's the point of including them if you're gonna just make them look and act like men? Oh and thanks for emasculating Marty (the best part of the show)