nixar55 Reviews

Broken English (1996)

Sexy and entertaining

[8/10 · 6 December 2005]

This movie was hard to track down. Living as I do in America, I had to order a VHS copy. I saw the NC-17 version, by the way, which I didn't find to be too graphic. The sex scene was extremely sexy and I thought the actors playing Nina and Eddie, the young couple at the center of the movie, had a ton of chemistry. You could believe they were attracted to each other. Nina, the Croation daughter of Ivan, was an interesting character: a wild rebel and a scared child eager to remain her father's favorite all in one. The actor who played Ivan did the best job, as a man who fled his homeland due to ethnic cleansing and finds himself obsessed with race and dissatisfied with his new life in New Zealand. The beginning half of this movie was more enjoyable than the latter half, when the story devolves into a slightly predictable romantic comedy and none of the interesting implications about class, race, and family are dealt with in a serious way. However, a lot of romantic movies never even ask the audience to think about anything greater at all, so Broken English still comes out ahead of more traditional movie fare. Perhaps it's because this movie comes from the producers of "Once Were Warriors" which is one of my favorite dramas of all time. Watch for the romance between Nina and Eddie (played by Julien Arahanga from "Once Were Warriors",) Ivan, and Martin Csokas' portrayal of Ivan's menacing son.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Gritty, nasty fun

[8/10 · 21 July 2005]

Let me first say I hated House of 1,000 Corpses. I thought it was more like a bloated music video than a horror movie. There were glimpses of talent, some moments of fear, but overall, it felt like an over-edited, over-art directed piece of fluff. The only thing I loved about the first movie was Sid Haig's Captain Spaulding.

The Devil's Rejects is a much, much better movie. It *felt* like a movie. There was a structure. some really good lines in the script, and it was really atmospheric. Rob Zombie excels at the whole Peckinpah vibe - everyone's dirty-looking, worn, caked with dried blood. This movie wasn't supernatural at all and I appreciated that. It was the horror of random violence inflicted on innocents and sadists alike. It was really nihilistic and very, very funny. The casting was excellent. Sid Haig was still the best actor, but Bill Mosely was equally great, and Sherri Moon was a lot less grating. The cameos were well-done, too, especially Michael Berryman and Ken Foree.

There were some slow monologues (mostly the sheriff's) and montages, but overall, the film went along pretty quickly. I have a lot of respect for Rob Zombie. I enjoy his music and I really like his taste. You could tell he put a lot of genre love and reverence into his movie, much like Tarantino, and I'm really happy to see him grow as a filmmaker. I got into a free advance screening, but I'd definitely pay money to see this movie again.

Oldboy (2003)

Slick and interesting

[10/10 · 26 March 2005]

I don't know where the hate for this movie is coming from, unless it's from those with weak stomachs. A lot of critics seemed to really enjoy it, if they reviewed it at all. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and think of it as the best thriller to come along since Memento. Both movies have their gimmicks - short-term memory loss in Memento and a small hypnosis bit in Oldboy, but it's just one twist of many in these movies. The thing that strikes me the most about this movie is the lead actor who plays Oh-Daesu. He is transformed from a happy drunk in the beginning to a worn and broken shell of a man, full of anger and remorse. All good stories show the character going through a journey of change, and Oldboy succeeded very well. The lead actor really carries the picture.

This film is also a visual joy to watch, particularly the early scenes of his imprisonment and the passage of time in his cell. I'm a Takishi Miike fan, so the violence didn't bother me at all, except for one scene that put The Marathon Man to shame and made me scream. It's been a long time since I did that during a movie and it was a lot of fun. I really loved the cinematography - it never felt overdone. The infamous hallway fight scene was extremely cool, just one of those technical feats that make you say "How did they do that?"

I didn't see the big "secret" coming, so it made the ending a disturbing shock to me, but it also seemed consistent with the characters. Don't let anyone try to ruin the ending for you! The ending alone is the whole reason I can never see an American remake for this picture, despite Nicholas Cage's desire to produce and star in one. It just wouldn't fly in these moral majority times. Also, the only western actor I could imagine reprising the role of Oh-Daesu is Gary Oldman. All in all, this was a dark movie, filmed with a lot of energy and even some interesting things to say about personal guilt and revenge, things that Kill Bill, for example never touched on.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

For zombie-lovers and newcomers alike

[9/10 · 22 September 2004]

I loved this movie! I'm a big zombie fan and I appreciated the return to slow-moving, prosthetic-laden, dangerous zombies. None of that fancy CGI, running/choppy editing stuff for me. I adored all of the in-jokes to past horror classics, like Night of the Living Dead. But the humor was way more than in-jokes. There's a clever Morrisey cameo, a bit with old LPs, and many, many more. I worry when people say the humor is too British, but I think it translates just fine. There was maybe one joke that Americans, like myself, couldn't get. Something to do with ice cream. But one joke out of many...not a huge loss. Slackers are pretty much the same the world over.

What really stuck with me about this movie was the fantastic characters. Simon Pegg is a great comedic actor - his timing and facial expressions are just spot-on. He's a charming hero that audiences will cheer for. And you will cheer for Shaun and his best buddy Ed.

This is the best romantic comedy with zombies since "Dead Alive," Peter Jackson's best horror film. That's a bold statement, but it's true. "Shaun" is quirky fun with a few scares and tons of laughs. I'd definitely watch this again and again.

Underworld (2003)

Bloody boring

[1 September 2004]

This movie was a messy mish-mash of genres and ideas, plain and simple. At first I enjoyed "Underworld" for its very pretty visuals and action sequences - even though some of those were also outright stolen from other movies (i.e. Cyborg). Even some plot elements were okay; the idea of a human caught in a war between vampires and werewolves is not original, but can be a rich starting point for an idea. Sadly, the writers and the director ran in a zillion different directions, never following one plot thread to completion. Vampire clans filled with lame political "intrigue", species wars, romance...you're given a taste of these things, but never enough of one thing to satisfy, until all of the characters seem like caricatures and as hazy as the "rules" of this imagined world are, you *know* just how this movie's going to end about 15 minutes into it. There were very few surprises. I enjoyed the actors who played Viktor and Lucien, even if they were hammy, but everyone else was plain awful. Scott Speedman played an important plot device, but he barely emoted at all. How could he? It seemed like he had no lines, not even a half-hearted backstory to give his character any kind of depth. There was ZERO chemistry between him and Kate Bekinsdale, who just pouted and frowned her way through this garbage.

Even the visuals get dull after awhile - I'd be laconic too, if I lived in a world entirely colored black and blue.

If you want vampires and action, rent Blade II instead - much of the same themes are discussed there, but by better actors and a better director.

Van Helsing (2004)

Cover your eyes...

[1/10 · 19 August 2004]

Not because this movie is scary in any amount, but because it is unwatchable.

I loved those old Universal monsters, they were classics. To see the memory of Lugosi, Karloff, and Chaney spit on with this over-hyped piece of celluloid trash was bad enough, but this film had not one thing going for it to make the effort worthwhile. I liked Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, when he showed some charisma, but his role here was completely dull and by-the-numbers standard action fare. Kate Beckinsdale's accent was so laughable. Even David Wenham, who I ADORED in Lord of the Rings and his indie Aussie films, was awful as a sniveling sidekick. I actually felt embarrassed for him.

Dracula was...ugh. Words cannot do it justice. The vampire brides were even worse. Where did they find those girls? A community theater? I thought vamps' fangs were for blood-sucking, not gnawing their way through scenery.

The storyline was so convoluted, I wished I could watch the pitch meeting for Van Helsing instead. "So Dracula...needs electricity from Frankenstein to...bring about evil! Yeah, and there's the Wolfman, and Hyde, and...EXPLOSIONS and junk."

I'm not a movie snob, and I enjoy summer action blockbusters (I loved Riddick, which didn't take itself as seriously as Van Helsing.) But this movie didn't even have good FX. Also lacking was an interesting hero and at least one memorable scene. What a waste. I haven't cringed so much in a theater since...Mission Impossible 2, I guess.

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

My favorite summer movie!

[9/10 · 13 August 2004]

Riddick might not have been the *best*-made movie this summer, but it was my favorite. It had more action than Spider-Man 2, and was darker than Harry Potter 3. I also think it had more interesting ideas and a greater visual flair than both of these films. Riddick was total escapist fun, with lots of funny one-liners and Vin Diesel playing his best character, Riddick. Other great performances were given by Karl Urban (looking very anti-Eomer in his black mohawk) and especially, the bounty hunter Tooms (?).

Sure, there were some plot holes, and some hammy acting (mostly Thandie Newton), but it was so refreshing to see an original "hero", one that wasn't a 100% pure teenage boy with magical powers. Sure, Harry Potter and Peter Parker may get tempted by evil, like all proper heroes, but audiences *know* they'll turn good again. Not so with Riddick; he lives in the dark side, making it actually surprising when he does something compassionate.

Also refreshing was a science fiction/fantasy story that didn't involve hobbits, computers, and massive swarms of CGI Agent Smith/orc armies. This movie was more like Dune, with an H.R. Giger edge. My only real complaint was that the movie was PG-13, when it should've been R, like "Pitch Black." And maybe that's why some of the violent scenes seemed choppy and confusing - to show enough to keep it PG-13. But the unrated DVD comes out in November.

Also, the ending of this movie was awesome: just really funny and cool. It left me smiling for awhile afterward.

Unbreakable (2000)

Underappreciated *major spoilers*

[9/10 · 3 May 2004]

I can't see why people had such a hard time with this movie. Maybe people were expecting the thrills and chills of The Sixth Sense. This a muted film, dripping with quiet moments and an overall feeling of sadness. Yes, there were a few scenes I would've cut given the chance (Dunn's son and the gun, especially,) but mostly, this is a simple movie with a theme that is both simple and thought-provoking. It's about comic books, archetypes, and modern myths. It's a superhero origin story that doesn't go for something flashy. Yes, if you were expecting the color and spectacle of Superman/Spider-man/Batman, etc., you'd be really disappointed. This is about a regular guy played perfectly by Bruce Willis discovering that he has super-strength. You see Dunn go from an average man to a hero, a mysterious, cloaked iconic sketch on the front page of a newspaper. He is living in a world of comic book figures that are still familiar in the real world. He discovers a mentor of sorts in Elijah, the comic store owner who suffers from a rare disease. The "twist" that this director loves to put in his movies really shocked me.

"Unbreakable" is the origin story of a villain, too. The total opposite of Dunn's superman. I loved Jackson's line "Now that we know who you are, I know who I am." Of course Elijah is the villain - he's lonely, he's disfigured, he's an outcast, and he has crazy ideas. But the lines between his genius and insanity are very, very blurry until the last few minutes. I felt a huge amount of sympathy for this character, until Elijah shared his criminal secrets. He is the total opposite of Dunn, not just physically, but morally as well. The little coda at the end was perfect, too, with Elijah going to "an asylum for the criminally insane." He goes to Arkham! If this movie were a comic book, naturally, Elijah would escape to cause more mayhem, like all great evil geniuses.

This is a wonderful movie for comic book fans, people who enjoy the myths of superheroes, and enjoy seeing those same formulas twisted around in an interesting way. I liked this movie almost as much as "The Sixth Sense" (that movie felt a bit better-paced) and a lot more than "Signs" (that movie felt forced to me.)

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

One of the best films ever!

[10/10 · 13 March 2004]

I was put off of watching this movie for a long time, due to its' length; but having seen all 3 Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back, well, 3 1/2 hours is a cakewalk. (And this movie even has an intermission!)

This movie kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. The swelling score, the cinematography, the sound, the action sequences...everything was spot-on. The first half of the movie was most enjoyable to me. I felt like I was riding alongside Lawrence in the Nefud Desert, and I was absolutely afraid for his life (even though I knew he doesn't die in the desert). Peter O'Toole blew me away with his portrayal of a misfit who found a home in such a dangerous and beautiful place. His eyes were hypnotic, his body language was so bizarre, and spoke volumes. You could see why the sheiks and princes of Arabia liked him, and why Lawrence was so different from his English countrymen. All of the supporting actors were great, especially Alec Guiness and Omar Sharif.

The scope of this movie is HUGE. When I think of how long ago this movie was made, I can only think that everything in "Lawrence of Arabia" was REAL. All of the extras are real people, all of the animals are real, the trains were really blown up, etc. What a massive undertaking it must have been, and how sad movies nowadays will never be allowed to do that again. Why hire costly extras or destroy expensive sets when a computer can do it for much cheaper? (The only plus side of this being that real animals don't get hurt) Even in the "Lord of the Rings" epics, my favorite movies, there are times you can tell a blue screen is being used, and for a brief second I'm pulled out of the movie.

Firstly let me say that everyone should see this movie. It was long, yes, but absolutely no scene felt unnecessary. None. Everything in this film was crucial to painting a portrait of T.E. Lawrence.

Lastly, I was very thankful I have a widescreen high definition TV. I couldn't imagine watching this on a small screen. You would be missing so much. Even my set felt too small sometimes. I can only hope that this movie will be released in theaters again some day so I can see it in a format worthy of its beauty.

Dust (I) (2001)

Good actors, not so good movie

[6/10 · 8 February 2004]

Firstly, I'm a huge David Wenham fan. Didn't read anything about the plot before renting it. I was really surprised by the film's beginning, having no cowboys or Macedonians in sight. This was an interesting Rashomon-like tale, but I really didn't care for two of the storytellers - the old lady and the burglar. I think the story would've worked better just told from the two brothers point of view; no silly subplot about gangsters and gold coins.

Joseph Fiennes is hardly in the movie, and when he is, he mostly quotes the Bible in a horrid accent. David Wenham's American accent was even worse. For me to say anything negative about Wenham...it must be really bad. He also screamed in anguish at the sky so much I could only think "Mendooooza!" (from the Simpsons' "McBain" movies). Visually, this film was very beautiful, not just because of a handsome lead either, but very engaging use of colors, costumes and landscape. The way images from the past and future collided was very cool. The gun-fight scenes were well choreographed, and pretty damn bloody. Perhaps that's why I found the old lady's section less interesting - less action, less exotic locations.

A few laughs, a few gasps, a bit of sex, a lot of violence, but just too thin of a story. If you arrange the brothers' tale minus the gimmicky time-jumps, the movie would be about an hour long, not 2+ hours. I can't figure why the director didn't just fatten the characters and context of their story and tell it straight through. This is a movie about storytelling, but viewers need a better story. And David Wenham deserves a better movie. Preferably one where he can speak more naturally.

Irreversible (2002)

Unsettling, to put it mildly

[9/10 · 29 December 2003]

This is not an easy movie to watch. It is as gritty as they come and will cause a gut reaction in most people. I felt ill and panicked watching the first twenty or so minutes, like I was trapped in another person's nightmare. The swirling camera. The low frequency thrumming. The red. As the story unfolds backwards, it becomes easier to watch physically, but harder to watch emotionally. As the film suggests, time destroys everything, and here it destroys something truly beautiful. This is an emotionally draining film, far from perfect (most of the dialog was improvised) and not completely original. This is a rape-revenge story, with a barebones philosophical statement, but emotionally and visually, it is worth multiple viewings. Life is horrible sometimes, this everyone knows, but maybe sometimes we need to see just how horrible things can get in order to appreciate the life and time we have. This film is also about the futility of revenge, as, if you watch closely in the beginning - Marcus never gets his man. I felt drained after watching this. I also feel this was one of the best movies of 2003. Some people criticize the portrayal of homosexuals in this movie, but I don't think it's some kind of anti-gay agenda. The men in the nightclub, and even the rapist, are gay, but their sex is not about love, it is about power. Rape is not sex, it is violence and a need for power over another living thing. These disgusting aspects of life can reside in anyone regardless of sexual preference, color, or gender. The film in no way suggests that all gay men are like this, just this group of gay men. I think it was an unusual choice of the director, but, there it is...

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Return of excellence *spoilers*

[10/10 · 17 December 2003]

Wow! I'm completely overwhelmed by this movie. There was so much to it that one viewing is simply not enough. Emotionally, it was intense and sad. Spiders and ghosts and Nazguls - it was gripping. The battle scenes here really did raise the bar for any epic battles put to film in the future. And in the past - Gladiator, Ran, Saving Private Ryan - those were realistic battles, but ROTK had a greater challenge - how to make the extraordinary feel real, to put a viewer in the middle of this truly epic fantasy battle. Nothing compares to the beautiful pagentry of swords, battering rams, spears, winged beasts, and oliphants. The oliphants! They were amazing. I can't stop thinking about how great they looked. Now, to address so griping...The Faramir/Eowyn love story will be on the DVD, as will Saruman, which makes me excited already. The "multiple ending" people keep talking about: the book continues after Mount Doom, simple as that. Also, the Eye of Sauron: How else can you show a disembodied eye focusing on other events surrounding it? It was an awkward device of Tolkien's, for such a climax. It's hard to portray your main baddie WITHOUT A BODY!

Also, I'm sick of hearing fanboy griping about how much better the original Star Wars trilogy is over LOTR. It's pathetic. Simply recognize both films as achievements for their times and move on. It does nothing to lessen the sterotypical "geek" image. (Though I'd be the first to say, if pressed, that Lord of the Rings is more epic in scope, better acted by far, and features more impressive FX.)

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Extended Excellence!

[10/10 · 15 November 2003]

I enjoyed the theatrical Two Towers even more than the first - it was darker, more suspenseful, more action-filled, and introduced some of my favorite characters. The extended edition gives viewers even more of the same - more heart, more comedy, more action, more character development, more sorrow, and more of a conclusion. My favorite scene in the extended edition is Faramir's flashback to a time spent with his brother and father. It really shows more insight into this character, making him seem less like Boromir-lite. It also shows more insight into Boromir himself, before he left for Rivendell, and introduced viewers to their father, Denethor, who is important to the third part of the tale. There's a lot more Merry & Pippin, Treebeard, and Gollum. The DVD extras are fantastic, as we've come to expect. Watch "Cameras in Middle Earth," "Tolkien: Origins of Middle-Earth," "From book to Script" and the entire special on Gollum and music and sound in The Two Towers. (With 4 hours of extras, these are what I found to be the best) Really fascinating stuff here. The downside? The wait for "The Return of the king" seems even more unbearable now!

Psycho Beach Party (2000)

Peachy keen!

[7/10 · 23 October 2003]

This film really grew on me. It's got great actors (namely Nicholas Brendan and Lauren Ambrose), a great throwback sense of style, and very clever dialogue. I can't tell if this film is intentionally hysterical (I think it is, but some parts...it's hard to tell.) I also really liked some of the characters, including police"woman" Monica Stark. All in all, a light-hearted summer movie, perfect for a few good laughs.

Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)

Masterful!

[9/10 · 21 October 2003]

This is one of my personal favorite martial arts movies. Admittedly, I haven't seen the precursor to this movie, though seeing the first film isn't required to enjoy this one. The big tournament scenes were fascinating and exciting to watch - there were so many cool and unique characters here, my favorites being the man with extendable arms and of course blind Master Fung and his flying guillotine (one of the coolest weapons EVER!) Also, whoever decided that the American soundtrack for this film should feature Neu! is a genius. It is a strange yet sinister score, and Master Fung's industrial clang theme that is played when he is onscreen is perfect! Overall, a martial arts classic.

Futurama (1999– )

Long live Futurama!

[11 August 2003]

I'm so glad for these DVDs. Fox handled Futurama almost as badly as it did Family Guy, with its ridiculous schedule changes, preemption by sports, and little advertising. Futurama has become way better than the recent Simpsons seasons. There's not a single character I dislike on this show, even the pathetic Dr. Zoidberg (who's so much funnier than that other pathetic secondary character Moe Syzlack). Leela and Prof. Farnsworth are my personal favorites, though. Futurama is beautifully animated, satirical, smart, and sometimes, very touching and sweet. It's geek humor at it's finest. What other show has binary code jokes?! I'm happy to own every episode and watch them whenever I feel like it. Sure this show isn't everyone's thing, much like Family Guy, but I hope that through the DVDs, under-appreciated, critically acclaimed TV shows can finally get the audiences they deserve.

Equilibrium (2002)

Better than Matrix Reloaded

[9/10 · 3 August 2003]

I didn't know this movie existed until its opening day in theaters where I saw a positive review in USA Today. When I finally saw a theater playing it on a Sunday, I promised myself to come back the weekend after and buy tix when I had more time. The next weekend, back at the theater...EQUILIBRIUM was already GONE! There was ZERO advertising and what was the shortest theater run I'd seen in recent memory. What a shame - after watching it on PPV, this movie was very enjoyable!

Beautiful set design, cinematography, and costumes, I was instantly reminded of that other small SF picture, GATTACA. But there are definite MATRIX overtones in this movie as well as bits of "Brave New World." This is a martial arts/SF movie with a philosophical point, not quite as good as the original MATRIX but infinitely less heavy-handed and more exciting than MATRIX RELOADED. There are no dull speeches here, only a well-woven message in a very tight script, full of plot twists and acted by an excellent cast.

I think this movie will do well for itself in the long run, as positive word of mouth spreads and people start passing along copies of the DVD (before it becomes EC-10). I look forward to seeing more work from this director, and Christian Bale too, because he really adds a special touch to his every role.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

More praise to heap on this excellent film

[10/10 · 14 July 2003]

Though it's really not necessary for someone else to add glowing comments to this already well-received movie, I've just got to add my voice. I think I liked "The Two Towers" more than "The Fellowship" (though the TTT and FOTR extended edition are neck-and-neck). It was darker than the first, more dramatic, more action-filled, and punctuated with more quiet moments of grief and beauty.

I've never read the books, though I will after I've seen "Return of the King," so am going into these movies completely unspoiled and able to look at them as solely films. And they are great films.

It was a pleasure to see my old favorite characters return - especially Aragorn and Sam, who really shined here. I also enjoyed every new character I've met in TTT, Theoden, Eowyn, Faramir, and, of course Gollum. From the sun-dried plains of Rohan to the besieged Osgiliath, every set was sprawling and beautiful. The scenes in Rohan were especially wonderful because of the dialogue, which sounded very Shakespearean, with all of the power plays for Theoden's throne and the need and fear of war against evil. TTT is a very timely movie, but Peter Jackson doesn't beat that point to a pulp. I can't wait to see more of Faramir and his situation in the extended edition, as that was the only point that I felt could've been explained more. I know it has something to do with his father.

Anyhow, November and December seem so far away, and the wait for the next and last movie seems almost unbearable. However, I know I'll be really down when the end credits roll on "ROTK," as I wish this wonderful story would never reach its conclusion.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 14 July 2003]

I loved the theatrical release of "Fellowship," but I REALLY loved the special extended edition. It didn't feel overlong, only richer, and more cohesive. Frankly, I could watch this movie all day and not get bored; I can't wait to hole up in my house for a day in November 2004 to watch the extended editions of all 3 movies back-to-back. Beautiful cinematography, direction, costumes, action, romance, and drama, this movie, and The Two Towers are full of magic. These two films have become modern classics, and have rightly crushed any recent fantasy trilogies (Star Wars prequels, especially) under foot. It's rare that a film can be so beautiful and touching to so many people, but be a fantasy film, too, typically tossed into some genre ghetto by critics who don't know better. This is a movie for people of all ages, and of all generations here and yet to come.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

The Captain was here

[9/10 · 11 July 2003]

I was a little skeptical going into this movie for 3 reasons 1)Disney 2) based on a Disney ride and 3) pirates, which I don't normally go for, unless it's Adam Ant. But I had faith in Depp, because he is in so many wonderful, quirky movies, and damn, he didn't let me down! Depp owns this movie. He was so funny and heartfelt and wild. I'm almost positive they'll make a sequel to this movie because Depp's Cpt. Sparrow is going to be so widely loved. Although I found Bloom and Knightley a little bland, the rest of the cast was super. Geoffrey Rush was excellent, somewhat reminiscent of his Sade in "Quills," which I loved. I didn't think the CGI was overkill at all. The skeletal pirates were awesome, but I most enjoyed the ship battles and swinging from the rigging stuff. Great fight choreography, beautiful settings and costumes. Again, esp. on Depp whose dreads, braids, gold teeth, and kohl-rimmed eyes is enough to make girls (corset-wearing or not) swoon. I'm so going to see this one again!! Story: 8/10 (10 being best) Depp: 100+/10

Braindead (1992)

Rich & creamy, just the way I like it!

[5 July 2003]

This is one of the funniest movies ever. The gore is so over-the-top you just can't help but laugh. This movie has some of the best quotes - check them out! I for one could see Peter Jackson making the opulent, moving "Lord of the Rings," because the man behind "Dead Alive" had to be BRILLIANT to make kung-fu fighting priests, evil rockabilly uncles, and really awful zombie babies work so well together. "Dead Alive" raises the bar for horror-comedies. Sadly, no other zombie movie since this has been as much pure FUN to watch. It's easier to scare folks than to make them genuinely laugh. Romero may have created more realistic zombies, but some days I'd just rather watch Lionel's nasty mum get bitten by a Sumatran rat monkey.

Blade II (2002)

Bloody fun!

[8/10 · 21 June 2003]

I wasn't a big fan of the first Blade, so when I caught Blade II on cable, I was really surprised by how enjoyable it was. It was sharp and gross and very, very violent. The Reapers were fantastic, especially the first time one appears - a nice, nasty shock. Anne Rice this ain't, thank God. I really enjoyed the humor, especially between Snipes and the magnificent Ron Perlman (now I REALLY can't wait to see this awesome actor as Hellboy). The Bloodpack was a good bunch of side characters, and the martial arts were a lot of fun. Not the most original story on the planet, but del Toro does an awful lot with what he's been given. This is definitely one of those rare times a sequel renders its predecessor pointless. And not just because Whistler was brought back from the dead. (Yeah, that part was kinda clunky, but having him in the movie was a good idea, because his character is an important one to Blade's story.) In fact, this should've been the only Blade movie ever made; it's dark, entertaining, and an excellent addition to the vampire movie genre. 8 out of 10 stars

Bedrooms and Hallways (1998)

Good fun

[6 June 2003]

I enjoyed this movie - it was light, very funny, and had an interesting statement about the flexibility of sexuality. I really enjoyed the interaction between characters - especially Leo's roommates, Darren (hysterical!) and Sybil (really funny.) The biggest surprise was Hugo Weaving, whose scenes had to have been my favorite. It's been a while since I've seen Pricilla Queen of the Desert, so it was really great seeing him in a role that poked fun at his most famous character's (Agent Smith) button-down, tight-lipped normalcy. He plays a great perv!

Admittedly, this movie got a little dull towards the end, with the whole bizarre love triangle, but the supporting cast made me stick it out to the end.

Ichi the Killer (2001)

Another hit from Miike

[9/10 · 15 April 2003]

You could call this the Japanese "Dead Alive." Like Jackson's best work (aside from LoTR,) Ichi the Killer is so over-the-top in the blood and guts dept, it becomes a comedy. And this movie is really, really funny. Imagine the opening scene of Miike's "Dead OR Alive" stretched out and you've nailed the mood of "Ichi": manic, energetic, violent, shocking, and a bit nonsensical at times. Yes, the plot brought up so many different themes and ideas - sex, violent human nature, personal freedom, justice - the film became a bit muddled. But a few things are clear - Miike's got some great ideas and he knows how to showcase them. He's also got some excellent characters. Kakihara is the coolest anti-hero ever. I would respect and fear anyone who did that to his face to begin with, but...this guy is very complex. Ichi, too, is complex, and provides a great pathetic foil to Kakihara's more laid-back attitude. I loved this movie just as much as "Audition," but in a different way. "Ichi" is some of the best entertainment I've seen from Japan in recent times.

The Transporter (2002)

Great action, not-so-great story

[9/10 · 15 April 2003]

Firstly, I loved Cory Yuen's work on "Kiss of the Dragon" and anything Luc Bisson is involved with, esp. "The Professional." The fight scenes in "The Transporter" were as amazing, some even more so, as I expected. However, I think the PG-13 rating hurt the movie. The only reason to see a movie like this is for the sex and violence, and if it got an R-rating, like "Kiss of the Dragon" the fight sequences and cheesy romance bits could have gone further. There's really no great story or character development here, and that's OK with me, because the movie was just plain entertaining. Jason Statham is a better actor, a better fighter, and just plain sexier than Vin Diesel. He proved he can act in "Snatch" and here he proves he's got the movies of an action star, now I just want to see him in something with the best of both worlds - a great script and great choreography. Hopefully, this'll happen for him soon, as he's really great.