paul_haakonsen Reviews

MR-9: Do or Die (2023)

This is what happens when you order James Bond from Wish...

[3/10 · 7 May 2024]

Of course I opted to sit down and watch "MR-9: Do or Die", as I happened to stumble upon it by random luck here in 2024. It was an action thriller with Frank Grillo and Michael Jai White on the cast list, so of course I sat down to watch it. Sure, I had never heard about the movie before, but that hardly mattered.

The storyline in "MR-9: Do or Die" wasn't exactly interesting or captivating. And it was a constant struggle to maintain interest in the movie, because it made very little sense, and there just wasn't anything overly enjoyable happening throughout the course of the mundane and long 106 minutes that the movie trotted on for.

It was rather impressive that a collective three writers could manage to conjure up something this weak and disappointing. Writers Asif Akbar, Nazim Ud Daula and Abdul Aziz delivered something that felt like something that would happen if you ordered James Bond from Wish.

The acting performances in the movie were, for the most part, rather rigid and devoid of life and emotion, and that made sitting through the movie all the more painful. And I have to say that this movie was definitely not the finest moments in the careers of Frank Grillo and Michael Jai White, the only two familiar faces on the cast list. Grillo and White were like fish out of water in this movie. Leading actor Abm Sumon, playing MR-9 Masud Rana, was not a particularly good actor, and that sort of shunted the movie.

The music in the movie was so over-dramatic that is quickly became a nuisance to listen to. And I really wish that I had the option to turn off the music, because it was seriously ruining the movie.

The blood effects from the gunshots was just laughably bad to look at. No one buys into those God awful sprays of red CGI mist as being blood from gunshot wounds. It just looking atrocious and gave a low budget and amateurish atmosphere to the movie.

"MR-9: Do or Die" is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you waste 106 minutes of your life on watching. Some of us suffered through it and took one for the team, so you don't have to; you're quite welcome. Nor is it a movie that will ever find its way back to my screen a second time, as it was difficult enough to sit through it the first time.

My rating of director Asif Akbar's 2023 action thriller "MR-9: Do or Die" lands on a very, very generous three out of ten stars.

New Life (I) (2023)

It was interesting...

[6/10 · 7 May 2024]

I had the opportunity to sit down and watch the 2023 movie "New Life" here in 2024, and of course I did so. Sure, I didn't even know what I was getting into here, aside from it being a horror or thriller that I hadn't even heard about. So writer and director John Rosman had every opportunity to impress and entertain me with this movie.

Oh boy, I wasn't exactly prepared for what writer John Rosman delivered here. The storyline in "New Life" was really a nice surprise, and I am very glad that I had the chance to sit down and watch this movie. It was a well-written script, narrative and storyline, and writer John Rosman really caught me off-guard here.

I genuinely enjoyed "New Life", but it sort of felt a bit incomplete. Perhaps a follow-up movie would bring more to the narrative, as "New Life" felt like it was only the beginning of something.

The acting performances in the movie were good, and they had some talented actors and actresses on the cast list. I wasn't familiar with the cast in the movie.

While "New Life" wasn't a movie that relied heavily on an abundance of special effects, I will say that the effects that were in the movie definitely helped bring the narrative to life, and also looked realistic.

While it might be somewhat of a niche movie, I think "New Life" is definitely a movie that is well-worth checking out, especially if you have an interest in both zombie movies and viral outbreak movies.

My rating of "New Life" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Spring (I) (2014)

More than just a run-of-the-mill horror movie...

[6/10 · 7 May 2024]

Right, well not knowing what I was getting into there, as I sat down to watch the 2014 movie "Spring" for the first time here in 2024, I didn't really have any expectations. I knew it was a horror movie of sorts, and had read the synopsis. And I will say that the synopsis sounded interesting enough. And of course with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I had to give the movie a fair chance.

Writer Justin Benson actually put together a fair enough script and storyline. This wasn't really a horror movie as per se, but more of a drama laced with elements of horror. Not that it was a bad combination or anything, but I had expected a proper horror movie, so that was a tad disappointing.

However, the disappointment vapored, because writer Justin Benson managed to spice things up and actually keep the movie afloat. While there wasn't a whole lot of thrills and excitement transpiring on the screen, "Spring" was a well-acted movie and had a profound storyline which actually transcended being just a movie for scary effects and such. So if you enjoy a supernatural movie that has more to offer than just cheap jump scares, then "Spring" might be something for you.

While I wasn't really familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list, I will say that leading actor Lou Taylor Pucci and leading actress Nadia Hilker carried the movie quite nicely with their performances. And they had a good chemistry on the screen.

Something that definitely helped to keep the movie afloat was the special effects. It wasn't a movie that relied heavily on special effects, so don't expect to be bombarded with one grand CGI effect after another. No, "Spring" used special effects in moderation when the narrative needed it, and it worked nicely. The effects looked good and really augmented the narrative.

I genuinely enjoyed directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead's 2014 movie "Spring", and it certainly is a movie that I will recommend for you to watch, if you haven't already.

My rating of "Spring" lands on a well-deserved six out of ten stars.

House on Rockingham (2024)

Brutally dull and boring...

[2/10 · 7 May 2024]

The 2024 thriller "House on Rockingham", from writer and director Stephen Folker, was a movie that I had never heard about. I happened to have the chance to sit down to watch the movie, and so I did, without knowing what I was in for, aside from it being a movie that I hadn't already seen and the fact that it was a thriller of sorts.

I have to say, though, that the narrative in "House on Rockingham" is slow paced, so very, very slow paced. Running at a mere 78 minutes and without anything absolutely interesting having happened at all. Thus making sitting through the movie quite a struggle and a test of willpower.

I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. However, I will say that the acting performances in the movie were actually fair, despite the fact that they had virtually nothing interesting to work with in terms of script and storyline.

If you enjoy suspenseful thrillers with a good story to keep you on the edge of your seat, skip on watching "House on Rockingham". On the other hand, if you enjoy watching a movie totally devoid of an interesting storyline and without the slightest of interesting things happening throughout a sluggish narrative, well, then you're in for quite the treat should you opt to sit down and watch writer and director Stephen Folker's 2024 'thriller' "House on Rockingham".

78 minutes straight down the drain is what I can say after having suffered through the ordeal that is "House on Rockingham", in a weak and desperate hope of the movie's narrative picking up in pace and contents. It just never happened. Some of us literally suffered through this movie so you don't have to, you're very welcome.

My rating of "House on Rockingham" lands on a very, very generous two out of ten stars, and that is based on the production value and the acting performances, because there was absolutely nothing to the narrative that proved worthwhile. How this movie has managed to land a 5.2 rating on IMDb, which was its rating when I sat down to watch it, is simply beyond my comprehension.

Hanky Panky (2023)

This was a brutal dumpster fire...

[1/10 · 7 May 2024]

Right, well I had never heard about this 2023 movie titled "Hanky Panky" prior to sitting down to watch it. But I figured that it might be worth checking out, since it seemed like an offbeat comedy, given the title and the synopsis, plus the fact that Seth Green was a part of the cast list, then it couldn't be all bad.'

But it was...

Sure, the movie was off to a good start with the puns on the names of the people involved in the movie.

But, oh boy, was this movie a swing and a miss from writer Nick Roth. I found absolutely no entertainment value in the dumpster fire that served as the script and storyline. It was cringeworthy from start to end, and this movie was just unfathomably difficult to sit through.

Not only was the storyline rubbish, but the character gallery was nothing to write home about either.

I was only familiar with actor Seth Green on the cast list, and he was only doing some voice performance, so he wasn't even on the screen. However, I can't claim that I was impressed with what transpired on the screen.

This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you to waste 86 minutes, much less your effort or money on. And "Hanky Panky" is most certainly not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

My rating of directors Lindsey Haun and Nick Roth's 2023 horror comedy lands on a one out of ten stars.

Chief of Station (2024)

Bland and generic action thriller...

[5/10 · 6 May 2024]

I had recently sat through, and thoroughly enjoyed, the 2023 movie "The Bricklayer", and thus I opted to sit down and watch this 2024 action thriller titled "Chief of Station", as it also had Aaron Eckhart in the leading role.

Sure, I had never heard about this movie prior to sitting down and watching it, so I didn't really know what I was in for here, aside from it being an action thriller. So writer George Mahaffey and director Jesse V. Johnson essentially had every opportunity to entertain me.

The storyline was watchable, sure, but at the same time it was also somewhat bland and forgettable. Writer George Mahaffey didn't exactly conjure up something grand or thrilling here. "Chief of Station" didn't manage to stand out from so many other action thrillers like it, and thus it was a bit of a disappointment. Now, don't jump to conclusions here, because I am not saying that it was a bad movie, not at all, it definitely had some good parts. But overall it was essentially just a generic action thriller.

This wasn't exactly the highlight of Aaron Eckhart's career, nor was he particular distinguishable in the movie. It was as if he was running a bit on auto-pilot. There were a couple of familiar faces on the cast list, joining Aaron Eckhart on the screen, with the likes of Olga Kurylenko, Nick Moran, James Faulkner and Daniel Bernhardt.

There is a fair amount of action in the movie, and that definitely helps to keep the movie afloat, and thus director Jesse V. Johnson didn't fully deliver a dud.

Watchable for what it was, but don't get your hopes up for "Chief of Station", as it was a rather bland and generic action thriller.

My rating of "Chief of Station" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Monkey Man (2024)

The John Wick of India...

[6/10 · 6 May 2024]

Another movie that I had never heard about prior to sitting down to watch it. So I virtually had no idea what I was in for here, sitting down to watch the movie. But in a sense, I guess that was good, because that way writers Dev Patel, Paul Angunawela and John Collee had every opportunity to entertain me and impress me with their movie.

The movie started out quite nicely and had a good pacing to it, but I have to say that the movie lost a lot of its forward momentum about halfway through. In fact, the narrative slowed down so badly that I was about to give up and just call it quits. It was during the recovery scene after an intense chase and the obligatory training montage, the movie just stalled here. But I opted to keep hanging in there and hoping that the narrative would get back to an adrenaline-filled and action-packed pace once more.

Luckily the movie does turn the slump around and picks up the otherwise rather intense and action-packed pacing, must to my entertainment.

In all honesty, then I have to say that the writers didn't really put much effort into any backstory, motivation and character development. This was essentially just raw, and brutal action from start to finish. So you're not in for a Shakespearian theater experience here, should you opt to sit down and watch "Monkey Man". But hey, a movie's finest purpose is to entertain, and "Monkey Man" certainly accomplished to do so.

The only actor I was familiar with on the cast list as Sharlto Copley, but he wasn't in the movie all that long. However, I will say that the acting performances in the movie were good, and they definitely had a good ensemble of actors and actresses on the cast list. Leading actor - as well as writer and director - Dev Patel definitely carried the movie quite well, both in terms of action and the acting.

Something that definitely speaks well for the overall enjoyment of "Monkey Man" is the action-packed and adrenaline-filled action sequences, chases scenes and fight scenes. They were rather intense and certainly lifted up the movie quite nicely.

"Monkey Man" was sort of an Indian variant of the "John Wick" movie. So if you enjoy non-stop action, aside from the slowed down part in the middle of the movie, then director Dev Patel's 2024 movie is well-worth sitting down and watching.

I found the movie to be a nice surprise, and it is definitely a movie that I would recommend for action fans to watch. Just keep in mind that the movie has a sluggish middle part.

My rating of "Monkey Man" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Possessions (2024)

Rather disappointing...

[4/10 · 6 May 2024]

Initially I was lured into watching the 2024 horror movie "Possessions" because of the cover. I stumbled upon the movie by random chance here in 2024, and seeing it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, much less actually was familiar with, then of course I sat down to watch it. I am a lifelong fan of the horror genre, after all.

I didn't know what Clive Standen was starring in this movie, so it was quite a nice surprise to see his name on the screen and see him pop up on the screen. And that definitely instilled some expectations to the movie, despite the fact of not knowing what I was in for here.

Writer and director Brent Cote put together a rather generic, predictable, bland and disappointing storyline and script here, if I have to be bluntly honest. The movie started out well enough, but the narrative quickly reached a stand-still and then just seemed to run on fumes. Brent Cote just didn't manage to construct something that takes the audience on a thrill ride, and there aren't ups and downs along the way. Nay, the movie just sort of went straight out of a very flat direction, and thus there was no excitement to be found here.

There were elements to the narrative that had potential, but writer and director Brent Cote just failed to utilize on those, and that made for a very bland viewing experience. "Possessions" wasn't the least bit scary, unless you are a newcomer to the horror genre and this is your introduction to the genre.

The acting performances in the movie were not capable of lifting up the narrative from the bland slump, because the actors and actresses virtually had very little to work with in terms of anything interesting from the script and character gallery.

Visually then you're not in for anything grand, as "Possessions" isn't a movie that utilizes special effects. There were a few effects throughout the course of the 89 minutes that the movie ran for. But you're not in for anything memorable or extraordinary.

"Possessions" was a disappointing horror movie, and it is not one that I would recommend for fans of the horror genre to rush out and get to watch, nor for fans of Clive Standen to do so. And while I did manage to sit through the entire movie, I was only very mildly entertained, and this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.

Once the movie came to an end after 89 bland minutes, I have to admit that I was left with an overwhelming sense of 'was that really it?'

In fact, the movie's cover over-sold the movie by a landslide. Don't get suckered in by the cover, as I did.

My rating of "Possessions" lands on a generous four out of ten stars. If it wasn't because of Clive Standen being in the movie, I would have rated it a flat three stars.

Prom Dates (2024)

Watchable, but generic...

[5/10 · 5 May 2024]

I can't say that I was exactly harboring the biggest of expectations to the 2024 comedy "Prom Dates" from writer D. J. Mausner and director Kim O. Nguyen when I stumbled upom it by random chance. And with it being a movie that I had never heard about, much less ever watched, then of course I opted to sit down and give the movie a fair chance.

The storyline in the movie was adequate. It was, however, a somewhat generic storyline. It wasn't as if writer D. J. Mausner was reinventing the young adult comedy genre here with this movie. That being said, don't get me wrong, becuase "Prom Dates" certainly was a watchable and entertaining enough movie, if you happen to like this particular genre of movies.

"Prom Dates", however, was somewhat devoid of comedy, and I wasn't brought to laughs a single time throughout the course of the 86 minutes that the movie ran for. So, as for this movie being a comedy, well, no, not so much really. This was more of a movie about coming of age and a movie about friendships.

I wasn't familiar with a single actress or actor on the cast list, except for actor John Michael Higgins. The actors and actresses did good jobs in bringing their characters and the storyline to life on the screen.

This is not a movie that will find its way back to my screen a second time, as the movie was a bit too generic for my liking, and the lack of comedy just was somewhat disappointing.

My rating of director Kim O. Nguyen's 2024 movie "Prom Dates" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Something in the Water (2024)

Generic, but entertaining...

[6/10 · 4 May 2024]

When I stumbled upon this 2024 thriller titled "Something In the Water" by random chance here in 2024, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. First of all, it was movie that I hadn't already watched, much less actually heard about. And the fact that it was a shark movie was just some sweet icing on the cake, because there is just something entertaining about shark attack movies.

I had zero expectations to writer Cat Clarke and director Hayley Easton Street, so they had every opportunity to entertain and impress me with this movie.

The storyline was actually okay. Sure, I mean, this has all been done and seen before in other similar shark movies, so it wasn't as if writer Cat Clarke was reinventing the shark attack movie genre here. But on the plus side, if you enjoy traditional shark attack movies with young people marooned at sea, then "Something In the Water" should prove entertaining for you. I have to say that I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the movie.

I wasn't familiar with a single actress on the cast list, but I found the acting performances to be adequate. Sure, it wasn't stellar award-winning performances, but then again, I wasn't expecting such from a movie about girls being marooned at sea with a shark circling about. But all in all, fair acting performances for a movie such as this.

A bit of a nice pun, actually, that the name of the character played by leading actress Hiftu Quasem was Meg, which is also a shortened name for the Megalodon shark.

The shark was actually nicely made and did come off as being real and believeable enough, which did help add to the overall impression and enjoyment of the movie. It was definitely a good thing that the shark wasn't horrible CGI leftovers from the 1990s, like in so many other shark attack movies.

Director Hayley Easton Street delivered a wholesome movie that proved to be entertaining. While it certainly was no "Jaws", then "Something In the Water" actually is enjoyable for single viewing if you enjoy shark movies. I have to say, though, that there is zero replay value to the movie, as the script just doesn't have the contents to support more than a single viewing.

All in all an enjoyable movie. My rating of "Something In the Water" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Shaitaan (2024)

Quite good...

[6/10 · 4 May 2024]

Given my extremely limited exposure to the Indian cinema, and with it not being a particular scene that I am actively keeping up with, then of course I had never heard about the 2024 horror movie titled "Shaitaan". But with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, and since i had the chance, of course I sat down to watch it and give it a fair chance.

Granted, I am not familiar with the original story from Krishnadev Yagnik, so I don't know how true the movie is to the source material. But I have to say that screenwriter Aamil Keeyan Khan definitely put together a good and entertaining storyline for director Vikas Bahl to bring to the screen.

However, it should be noted that "Shaitaan" is more of a supernatural thriller than it is actually a horror movie.

The narrative in the movie was good, and director Vikas Bahl was good at slowly piling up the suspense and layering the intensity of the movie, making it all the more of an enjoyable movie to sit through.

Of course I wasn't familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list, but I have to say that actors Ajay Devgn (playing Kabir) and Madhavan (playing Vanraj Kashyap) really put on great performances in the movie. In fact, the entire cast ensemble put on good performances to bring the characters and storyline to life on the screen.

"Shaitaan" is not a movie that is relying heavily on special effects, which is a testament to the storytelling and the narrative. And that was definitely a good thing. There were some special effects in the movie, sure, and they did look good.

If you enjoy an entertaining supernatural thriller, then "Shaitaan" is definitely worth sitting down and spending 132 minutes on watching. I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the movie.

My rating of director Vikas Bahl's 2024 movie "Shaitaan" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two (2024)

Better than part one...

[6/10 · 4 May 2024]

Alright, well after a bland first part of "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths", I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to the follow-up DC animated movie titled "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two". But still, I opted to watch it, since I had the chance and had already just watched part one back to back with this sequel.

And it sort of amazes me that a single writer for part two managed to put together a more coherent and entertaining script and storyline in comparison to what three writers did for part one. So thumbs up to writer James Krieg for accomplishing to lift up this event of animated movies.

"Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" felt more complete and entertaining than what part one did. And it actually felt like this could very well function as a stand-alone movie, not requiring you to have sat through part one prior to watching part two. While having watched part one definitely gave a bigger insight into what was transpiring on the screen, it just felt like it wouldn't leave you in the dark if you hadn't watched part one and then sat down to watch part two.

With "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" being an animated superhero movie, then having a good voice acting ensemble was important. And just like in part one, they definitely had a good ensemble of talented voice actors and actresses to bring out the character's voices on the screen.

The art style and animation in "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" was good. And if you enjoyed the art style and animation in part one, you will also like it here in part two.

"Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" was definitely a more wholesome and enjoyable viewing experience for me, and I have to admit that I found "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" to be a more enjoyable story to sit through.

My rating of director Jeff Wamester's 2024 DC animated movie "Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two" lands on a six out of ten stars.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part One (2024)

Meh...

[5/10 · 4 May 2024]

Right, well I did sit down to watch the 2024 DC animated movie "Justice League Crisis On Infinite Earths - Part One", as I had the opportunity to do so, plus I have been watching an abundance of DC animated superhero movies over the years, so why not also this one?

Personally I have to say that the whole concept with multiple Earths and realities is not something that really tickles me in the right places, but I can understand why it would be interesting to fans of the superhero genre, as all the comic book studios are using it.

Writers James Krieg, George Pérez and Marv Wolfman put together a fair enough script and storyline. It was, however, a rather predictable storyline, which really didn't come to me as no surprise. I mean, this was a Justice League animated movie after all, so we all know that the Justice League pulls through and saves the day. And surprise, surprise, of course they did here. I have to say that once this first part came to an end, I merely shrugged and thought nothing more of it. So this wasn't an outstanding or memorable viewing experience.

Something that did help make "Justice League Crisis On Infinite Earths - Part One" all the more watchable and enjoyable was the voice acting, because the cast of voice actors and actresses did good jobs. I can't claim that I was familiar with the cast ensemble here, but that didn't make it any less good.

The art and animation style in "Justice League Crisis On Infinite Earths - Part One" was okay. I can't claim to say that the art style was outstanding, but it would have an appeal to fans of the animated Batman series or the Teen Titans series, I suppose.

All in all, a watchable DC animated movie, but nothing outstanding here.

My rating of director Jeff Wamester's 2024 animated movie "Justice League Crisis On Infinite Earths - Part One" lands on a bland five out of ten stars.

Aquanoids (2003)

Rather abysmal movie...

[2/10 · 3 May 2024]

Right, well from the very beginning of the movie, with the intro and the insanely lousy and semi-unreadable text that introduced the actors and actresses to the poorly made logo of the movie's title, then it was very clear that "Aquanoids" was going to be a low budget creature feature.

Actually, I will say that writers Mark J. Gordon and Eric Spudic didn't exactly put together an all bad script here, there were parts of the narrative that had potential, and the odd interesting bit here and there. However, it was ruined by a poor and amateurish execution from script to screen by director Reinhart 'Rayteam' Peschke and some very lousy acting performances from the cast ensemble.

I loved the fact that the woman being chased by the aquanoid while she was snorkeling and frantically swimming to a jet ski, but she still found the time to stop up and put on a life jacket before speeding off on the jet ski. But there was a deadly Aquanoid right on her tail in the water when she was swimming. It made no sense that someone fleeing for their life stops up to put on a life jacket.

The acting performances in "Aquanoid" were shoddy and questionable to say the least. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, and I can't claim that I was impressed with what I witnessed on the screen.

Visually then you're not in for anything grand, should you opt to sit down and waste 78 minutes on watching "Aquanoids".

This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you to sit down and watch, nor waste your time, money or effort on. Some of us suffered through this 2003 movie so you don't have to; you're very welcome.

My rating of "Aquanoids" lands on a very generous two out of ten stars.

Arcadian (2024)

Ugh, seriously...?

[3/10 · 2 May 2024]

Truth be told, I thought 'great, another dime a dozen Nicolas Cage movie' when I stumbled upon this 2024 horror movie titled "Arcadian". But hey, I am a big horror fan, and with this being a movie that I hadn't already seen, nor actually heard about, of course I opted to sit down and watch it.

I can't claim to have been harboring any particular great expectation to the movie, as the great movies from Nicolas Cage are few and far between. But every now and again he does hit the nail right on the head. And who knows, maybe "Arcadian" would be one of those instances?

But it was not. Quite the contrary actually. "Arcadian", from writer Mike Nilon and director Benjamin Brewer was a dumpster fire. Nay, strike that, it was a flaming cartwheel of strange creatures actually.

The storyline in the movie is pretty simplistic and straightforward, which definitely was a good enough thing. However, that drowned out in the overwhelming sensation of 'what's the point to this movie?' feel that I was sitting with, as the movie trotted on and on in a very monotonous and sleep-inducing pace. Yeah, there just simply wasn't enough of interesting things happening on the screen to keep the movie afloat. In fact, you have to venture more than an hour into the movie before things start to pick up in pace, and by then it was just simply too little too late.

The acting performances in "Arcadian" were fairly bland, and that was actually an ongoing theme for the majority of the actors and actresses in the movie. It was as if they themselves didn't buy into the boring script and the strange creatures, so why should the audience?

The creature design was a mixed bag of nuts. I have absolutely no idea what I was looking at when the creatures were on the screen, and that certainly spoke in favor of the movie, as did the fact that the CGI animation was actually good enough. But, and yes, there is a big but here, no pun intended, director Benjamin Brewer just failed to ever make it feel like the characters were ever really in any danger from the creatures, as they seemed to just overcome one obstacle after another without much of any effort. You might actually say that it was super easy, barely an inconvenience. And the thing with the insane snapping of the jaws just had me laughing out loud. And then there was the flaming cartwheel of creatures, well, let's just not venture there, "Critters" did it and with worked as it was also a comedy, whereas "Arcadian" has no comedy elements to it.

Then there was the camera work in the movie. I have to admit that I am not overly keen on movies with a handheld, shaky camera that is all over the place. I could make that myself with my digital video camera, so it is not something I actually root for when I see it in movies. It just takes away something from the esthetic of the movie and makes it feel amateurish and low budget. The thing with the shaky handheld camera should solely be used in the 'found footage' movies and that genre of movies should be left six feet under.

For a horror movie then I found "Arcadian" to be a weak foray into the genre. But then again, I might be jaded from 40+ years of watching horror movies, so director Benjamin Brewer's 2024 movie just didn't tickle me the right places. But I suppose that newcomers to the horror genre, and the creature feature subgenre, might get a kick out of watching this movie.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to fans of the horror genre, nor to fans of Nicolas Cage, because he seemed to be running on fumes and on auto-pilot throughout the course of this movie.

My rating of "Arcadian" lands on a very, very generous three out of ten stars.

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

This was great...

[8/10 · 2 May 2024]

Amazing that they can manage to come up with interesting things to do with the "Godzilla" franchise. And I have to say that the 2023 movie "Gojira -1.0" (aka "Godzilla Minus One") definitely was an entertaining movie.

It was interesting to see what writers Ishirô Honda, Takeo Murata and Takashi Yamazaki managed to conjure up for the script and storyline. And I definitely was adequately entertained throughout the course of the two hours that the movie ran for.

Something that made "Gojira -1.0" really work for me, was the part of the script and storyline where Godzilla is portrayed as a creature who isn't protecting mankind and actually deliberately causes chaos, mayhem, destruction and death. And oh boy there was a good amount of mayhem throughout the course of the movie.

The acting performances in the movie were good. I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, but they had a good, strong and talented cast ensemble for the movie. And the characters in the movie were interesting, well-written and fleshed out, making it so easy for the audience to take a liking and sympathize with the characters.

Visually then you're in for a treat here, because the CGI in the movie is good. Godzilla looks menacing in the movie, and the destruction that he brings about looks great and realistic. Something that bothered me a bit about "Gojira -1.0" was the way that Godzilla walked. It looked robotic and had no natural feel to it. And here I am of course talking about whenever he was on land walking about, because when he was in the water it was fluid and natural movement that looked and felt real. Sure, I can grasp that Godzilla is an aquatic creature and thus would be, pardon the pun here, like a fish out of water when he was moving about on the land. But it just didn't look great.

If you enjoy "Godzilla" movies, then you definitely have to sit down and watch "Gojira -1.0", from director Takashi Yamazaki, because this movie really does Godzilla justice as a menacing Kaiju creature. The movie portrays Godzilla as a truly unstoppable force that is capable of mass destruction in the blink of an eye. And just wait till you see his energy breath, wow, just wow. I was literally blown away at those scenes, pardon the pun.

"Gojira -1.0" is a glorious return for Gojira to return to the Japanese cinema where it originated and belongs.

I was wholeheartedly entertained throughout the course of the entire movie. And this is certainly a movie that I would recommend for movie lovers to sit down and watch.

My rating of "Gojira -1.0" lands on an eight out of ten stars.

The Bricklayer (2023)

Entertaining action thriller...

[7/10 · 30 April 2024]

Now, I had actually not heard about this 2023 action thriller titled "The Bricklayer" prior to getting the chance to sit down and watch it here in 2024. And I have to admit that seeing it had Aaron Eckhart on the cast list definitely was a selling point for the movie.

Writers Matt Johnson, Marc Moss, Pete Travis and Hanna Weg put together a rather enjoyable script and storyline. I was more than genuinely entertained throughout the course of the 110 minutes that the movie ran for. So I was certainly positively surprised with this movie, as I hadn't expected this level of action thriller.

The acting performances in the movie are good. I have to say that Aaron Eckhart really impressed me with this performance in "The Bricklayer", because he was good in both acting performance as well as action and fighting performance. While I wasn't really familiar with Nina Dobrev, whom starred opposite of Aaron Eckhart, then she really stood up to the task and carried the movie quite nicely with Eckhart. The movie also had Clifton Collins Jr. And Tim Blake Nelson on the cast list, so there were some familiar talents on the screen.

Visually then "The Bricklayer" was good. There is a good amount of action sequences tossed into the narrative, and they are nicely choreographed and executed on the screen.

If you enjoy action thrillers then director Renny Harlin's 2023 movie "The Bricklayer" is well-worth taking 110 minutes to sit down and watch.

My rating of "The Bricklayer" lands on a seven out of ten stars.

Baby Girl (III) (2018)

Absolute rubbish...

[2/10 · 30 April 2024]

Of course I had never heard aboput this 2018 thriller titled "Baby Girl" prior to sitting down and watching it for the first time here in 2024. So I literally didn't know what to expect from writer Brandon Trask and director Kevin Van Stevenson.

The storyline in the movie was pretty slow paced. I will say that writer Brandon Trask definitely was good at fleshing out characters, but the pacing of the story was just pretty slow. And that made sitting through this a somewhat difficult task. The contents of the storyline were vague, and it didn't make for any particular entertaining viewing experience.

The movie is listed as a thriller. But I have to say that 50 minutes into the movie, this felt like nothing more than a sleaze-fest for writer Brandon Trask to showcase his lewd fantasies. And I tossed the towel in the ring around the 55 minute marker. By then I just couldn't take anymore of the pointless narrative and the sleazefest that this movie was. The movie failed to entertain me on a fundamental level.

I wasn't familiar with a single actress or actor on the cast list. But the cast ensemble was definitely talented, and they put on good performances in bringing the characters and storyline to life on the screen, despite of having very little of any solid contents to work with in terms of script and storyline.

Now, I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as this, perhaps a young adult audience. But if you sit down to watch a movie with the intention of being properly entertained by a proper movie, then "Baby Girl" is not something you should waste your time on.

My rating of "Baby Girl" lands on a very, very generous two out of ten stars, and that is based on the acting performances alone, because the storyline was a dumpster fire.

American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993)

Early 1990s cheesy rubbish...

[2/10 · 30 April 2024]

Needless to say that I wasn't exactly harboring the biggest of expectations when I sat down to watch the 1993 movie "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior". I mean, the title alone just screams cheesy low budget movie.

But with "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" being a movie that I had neither heard about or watched before, then of course I opted to sit down and watch it here in 2024, as I had the opportunity to do so.

Writers Bill Crounse, Boaz Davidson, Brent V. Friedman, Christopher Pearce and Don Pequignot put together what felt like something that could very well have been a 1993 mockbuster from The Asylum copying "Terminator 2". Yeah, this movie felt and looked like a poor man's rendering of "Terminator 2", so you're not exactly in for a grand cinematic experience, should you opt to sit down and watch this movie from director Boaz Davidson.

I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. But taking the material that they had to work with, then the acting was actually not all that bad.

Visually then "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" looked cheap. The costumes were laughable, especially the gang members that looked like they belonged in a homo-erotic movie. The sets were generic and essentially had nothing to distinguish one set from the next. The props in the movie were bland.

Definitely not a great movie, nor one that I will ever return to watch a second time, because it was difficult enough to sit through it the first time around.

My rating of "American Cyborg: Steel Warrior" lands on a very, very generous two out of ten stars.

Blackout (II) (2023)

Interesting approach on the werewolf genre...

[5/10 · 30 April 2024]

Given the fact that I am a big fan of all things horror, ofcourse I opted to sit down and watch the 2023 movie "Blackout" from writer and director Larry Fessenden, as I happened to have the chance here in 2024. Sure, I had never heard about the movie, so I didn't know what I was in for. But I read that it was a werewolf-themed movie, so of course that had my attention.

The storyline in "Blackout" was fairly good. It was an interesting approach to the werewolf genre, as writer and director Larry Fessenden focuses on the trauma and guilt that Charley (played by Alex Hurt) went through as he lost control and turned into a werewolf every month on the full moon. So this movie was more than just a movie about a person transforming into a beast and going on a killing spree.

I wasnt' familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list, aside from Kevin Corrigan and Barbara Crampton. Oh yes, when I saw Barbara Crampton popping up on the screen, things really started to look good. Unfortunately she was only in the movie for a minute or two.

Visually then writer and director Larry Fessenden kept it simplistic and somewhat in the spirit of the old black and white werewolf-themed movies. I liked that part of the movie, because it was minimalistic but straight to the point, and it worked.

If you enjoy werewolf-themed movies, then by all means give "Blackout" a chance.

It doesn't feel like a movie that has the contents to support more than just a single viewing, however.

My rating of "Blackout" lands on a five out of ten stars.

The Cursed (2021)

Not my cup of tea...

[4/10 · 29 April 2024]

I had never heard about "Bangbeob: Jaechaui" (aka "The Cursed") prior to sitting down to watch it. But with it being a South Korean horror movie, of course I needed no persuasion, as I am a big fan of both Asian cinema and horror cinema. So it really didn't matter that I had never heard about the movie, and thus didn't know what I was in for.

Writers Yeon Sang-Ho and Yong-Wan Kim put together a script that sort of fell short of entertaining me. I have to admit that since I didn't understand the whole thing with the infection or curse and the crumbling corpses, then the movie just made little sense. And that made sitting through nearly two hours of this quite an ordeal.

The acting performances in the movie were good, and the actors and actresses on the cast list definitely helped to make the movie all the more watchable.

Ultimately, then "Bangbeob: Jaechaui" was not my cup of tea, and thus I wasn't particularly entertained, and finding it difficult to sit and watch it, having to feign interest in the storyline. But hey, not everything is bound to have an appeal on every viewer, and director Yong-Wan Kim failed to capture my interest here.

Visually then the movie was actually adequate. It wasn't a movie that was heavily reliant on special effects. But the CGI effects that were utilized were fair.

Now, I am sure that there is an audience out there for a supernatural thriller like "Bangbeob: Jaechaui", because it definitely wasn't a horror movie.

My rating of "Bangbeob: Jaechaui" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.

Maya (1989)

Utter rubbish...

[1/10 · 29 April 2024]

Of course I had never heard about the 1989 Italian horror movie "Maya", prior to stumbling upon it by random luck here in 2024. And given my love and admiration of all things horror, of course I opted to sit down and watch what director Marcello Avallone had to deliver.

The storyline in "Maya" was brutally boring and felt just like random shots captured by the director and put together in an attmept to make a coherent movie. I managed to suffer through a staggering 34 minutes of nonsense before I tossed the towel in the ring and gave up on finish watching this movie. Writers Marcello Avallone, Andrea Purgatori and Maurizio Tedesco just utterly failed to deliver anything worthwhile here.

Needless to say that with my limited exposure to the Italian cinema, then I wasn't familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list for this movie.

Sadly, I happened to sit through an Englished dubbed version of the movie. I dislike dubbing in movies in general, so having people speak English throughout the course of the movie was not all that appealing. But at least the dubbing wasn't among the worst of dubbed works in movies that I have stumbled upon. But then again, a movie set to take place in Mexico, why would they be speaking Italian there? So the original language wouldn't really have played out well here.

Don't waste your time, money or effort on "Maya". It just simply isn't worth it.

My rating of "Maya" lands on a one out of ten stars.

The Scavengers (1969)

Pretty bad...

[3/10 · 29 April 2024]

When I sat down to watch the 1969 movie "The Scavengers" here in 2024, it was actually my first time to ever watch it. Yeah, I had never even heard about the movie, so I wasn't sure what I was in for here. And in a sense, then writer Bob Cresse and director Lee Frost had every opportunity to entertain and impress me.

The storyline is a slow starter, and about the first one-third of the movie felt like little more than an opportunity for writer Bob Cresse and director Lee Frost to show off a lot of nudity and lewd scenes. Yup, there was't a whole lot of intellectual entertainment going on here. Then the movie picks up a bit and becomes watchable, but not outstanding or particularly memorable.

Of course I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. But I will say that the acting performances in the movie were fair.

The blood in the movie was very fake and insanely unnaturally red, and that just didn't really work in favor of the overall impression of the movie.

"The Scavengers" was not a good movie in any way. And it is definitely not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time. Just checking it off the watched-movies-list and moving on.

My rating of "The Scavengers" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

Rat Man (1988)

Downright terrible in many ways...

[3/10 · 29 April 2024]

Of course I hadn't heard about this 1988 Italian movie titled "Quella Villa In Fondo Al Parco" (aka "Rat Man") prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. When I sat down to watch it, I have to admit that I was harboring absolutely zero expectations to director Giuliano Carnimeo's 1988 movie.

The storyline in the movie was bland, so very, very bland. I am amazed that writers Dardano Sacchetti and Elisa Briganti could collectively manage to put together something that devoid of contents. The narrative was just prancing ahead at a monotonous pace without offering much of anything interesting to the audience.

In fact, most of the movie you only get to see the "rat man" from it's point of view. And that just didn't cut it for me, that was just not quality entertainment. Sure, it might have worked back in the late 1980s, but with the amount of horror movie's I've sat through over the last 40 years, then it just didn't do it for me.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the actors or actresses on the cast list, as the Italian cinema is not my go-to-cinema for entertainment. And I have to say that actor Nelson de la Rosa (playing Mousey) was given a rather derogatory character and role to play, wasn't he? Sure, it could fly back then, but not so much in today's society.

Visually then the movie was not good. It looked like something that crawled out of the 1970s, to be honest.

While I managed to sit through the movie in its entire bland 88 minute runtime, I can't claim to be particularly impressed or entertained by what director Giuliano Carnimeo delivered. And this is by no means a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time, nor is it a movie that I would recommend for horror fans to rush out and get to watch.

My rating of director Giuliano Carnimeo's 1988 movie "Quella Villa In Fondo Al Parco" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

Rites of Spring (2011)

Ultimately a bland attempt at a horror movie...

[4/10 · 28 April 2024]

Never having heard about this 2011 horror movie titled "Rites of Spring" as I happened to stumble upon it by random chance here in 2024. Of course I opted to sit down and watch it, given my 40-some years love and admiration of the horror genre.

I had no idea what I was in for, but that hardly mattered, as it was a horror movie. And that was, actually, more than sufficient to make me opt to sit down and spend 82 minutes on watching the movie. So of course I had zero expectations to writer and director Padraig Reynolds, whom effectively had every single available chance to entertain and impress me with this movie.

The movie was off to a good start, because you don't get more than 15 minutes into the narrative before things already start to happen. I must admit that I enjoy movies that throws the audience right into the action or mayhem, which definitely was the case of "Rites of Spring".

However, I have to say that the narrative stagnates and sort of settles into a slump about halfway through. And the story sort of flattens out, offering no ups or downs along the way. Sure, "Rites of Spring" is a watchable movie, and if you're a newcomer to the horror genre then it will be a thrilling movie to watch. But for a life-long horror fan, then it just ended up being a bland movie.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, though the name AJ Bowen does sound familiar, I just can't mention any movie in which I've seen him act. The acting performances in the movie were fair, which definitely helped to bring the movie to life on the screen in a more enjoyable manner.

Visually okay, but you're not in for anything grand here. Sure, it wasn't a movie that was particularly needing a grandiose array of special effects, but it would have been nice with a bit more effects to spruce things up, as it was somewhat needed. And as for the killer (or creature), whatever you opt to call him, well, I can't claim that I was particularly impressed. But again, it might be sufficient and suitable to a newcomer to the horror genre.

"Rites of Spring" might be worth checking out if you enjoy horror movies and haven't been jaded by years of exposure to the horror genre. Otherwise it just makes for a somewhat bland viewing experience.

My rating of writer and director Padraig Reynolds's 2011 movie "Rites of Spring" lands on a four out of ten stars.