packmanproductions Reviews

Repeater (2022)

South of the Border Loser

[3/10 · 25 May 2023]

I wanted to like this movie but too many things made that impossible. John Smith (Sidhu) is a hitman for hire. In a convoluted story, he is being pursued by two other contract killers who all want to kill a hacker (Nick Moran) who has posted some internet info that angered a crime boss.

The script is weak and the constant soundtrack under the entire film is more than just annoying. The acting is as good as the script (poor) and that tells you all you need to know. The fight scenes are bad which explains why they were shot in mainly close-ups. Lots of bullets fly and the body count mounts up.

I got a chuckle out of a scene with traffic at the Tijuana/San Diego border. The three killers are going up and down the line of cars with guns visible and none of the commuters seems to care. Just another day in Mexico, I guess.

If you get the urge to watch this movie, do your best to fight the urge.

The Mother (2023)

Perfect Mother's Day Movie

[7/10 · 13 May 2023]

As I type this, tomorrow is Mother's Day. Nothing will warm the heart quicker than this mother/daughter bonding adventure.

Jennifer Lopez stars as a woman who believes there is more to life than that of a stay-at-home mom. She was a sniper in the service and later got in with a bad crowd. Evidently, she ticked off the wrong people and was targeted for elimination. J-Lo's very pregnant character is attacked by a former love interest who tries to perform a civilian C-section on her. She's none too thrilled and that's when mayhem ensues.

Forced to give up her daughter for adoption by the FBI, J-Lo heads to Alaska for some "Me-time." When the bad guys kidnap her daughter, Zoe (Lucy Paez), Momma goes into action.

There are some plot holes. First off, how does Jennifer live in the Alaskan wilderness for a dozen years and never age? How can her daughter find out who her real mother is by just googling her on her cell phone?

It's an action flick if that's what you're looking for. Nothing new here as far as a plot is concerned. Many bad guys will meet their end and Zoe will look forward to many years in therapy.

Wrath of Man (2021)

Typical Statham Bloodfest

[2/10 · 2 May 2022]

Maybe I expected more from a Guy Ritchie directed movie but, in the end, it was just another Jason Statham shoot-em-up. He plays the same character every time. This time he sports a security guard uniform.

A group of armored truck security guards decide to make one last heist. It turns into a suicide mission as Statham plays a guard going undercover to thwart the series of hijackings. His son was killed during one heist that went awry. Statham wants revenge like he does in every movie he's in.

Josh Hartnett and Andy Garcia play bit parts in this by-the-formula testosterone adventure. The script seemed to be written by a bunch of frat boys after a Rush week pissing contest. The dialogue was laughable, especially in the first act. Wrath of Man may cause wrath of the audience if they sit through this stinker.

War Path (2019)

A Pile of Crap

[1/10 · 12 January 2022]

I read that the plot of War Path started as an entry in a music video. It should have ended there. I can't decide if the script or the acting was worse. A free-lance hitman wants revenge after his employer threatens, then kidnaps his wife. At least I think that was the plot.

Obviously, the budget was extremely low as basic cinematography standards were ignored. Things like lighting, consistent audio or even using a decent cinema camera was evidently too much for the crew. So many of the scenes were definitely not color graded. I didn't know if that was supposed to be the director's "technique," or they just forgot to white-balance the camera. You can always tell a low budget movie as they just love, love, love unnecessary close-ups. And so many shaky handheld shots.

I've watched enough "hidden gems" in the indie film genre to know that this isn't one of them.

Army of One (2020)

Beyond Bad

[1/10 · 9 December 2021]

Bad acting and bad script are usually the formula for a bad movie. And that's exactly what you have here. A former armed forces soldier and her cop husband go camping in the Georgia mountains. A bunch of moonshiners led by a church-going matriarch named Mama are the antagonists in this bloody farce. As the body count increases so do the bad lines.

I used to live in the South. The hillbillies down there are not nearly as stupid as the ones portrayed in this waste of pixels. Save yourself ninety minutes of your life for something better than this.

Security (I) (2021)

An Italian Soap Opera

[3/10 · 28 June 2021]

A slow-moving character study that goes nowhere. A security guard is in a dull marriage with an ambitious wife with visions of becoming mayor of a small town. Their teen daughter is having an affair with her professor. The guard's old flame has a druggie son who is paid by a rich pervert to have sex in his study with strange women. Another teen girl is beaten up by the pervert even though the town drunk is her father and thought to be the abuser. There, that's the movie. You can save yourself a couple of hours. You're welcome.

S.W.A.T.: Under Siege (2017)

Viewing Audience Under Siege

[3/10 · 18 April 2021]

The Seattle SWAT should be insulted as to how they were depicted in this C grade movie. It seems as though they've been infiltrated by traitors and have the wimpiest team members imaginable. Cliche dialogue, poor acting and totally implausible script make this a viewing disaster. Outnumbered and totally inept, the SWAT crew had to be saved by the very man they were supposed to protect. Michael Jai White stepped up in his role as Scorpio, the mystery man holding secrets that the terrorists wanted at any cost. It's hard to believe that a SWAT training facility would be so deserted with no way to communicate with the outside world. If you like plot holes, this is the movie for you.

Two Distant Strangers (2020)

Somber and Sad Reality

[9/10 · 17 April 2021]

Two Distant Strangers highlights the black/white race issue in America in what many may find uncomfortable to watch. Using the Groundhog Day format, a young graphic designer just wants to get home to his dog after he wakes up with the lady he'd spent the night with. Then, an innocent encounter with a policeman turns deadly as too many endings similarly have come to pass in this country. The tragedy is replayed as he tries to find a way to end the cycle and get home. As I type this, the trial in the George Floyd case is going on six blocks from my home. Another white cop just shot a young black man a few days ago in a suburb near here claiming to mistake her handgun for her taser. This movie presented scenarios that we've witnessed too many times. A thought-provoking film that doesn't provide any answers except to tell the prejudice that black people face when dealing with certain members of authority.

A Hitman in London (2015)

Remarkably Bad

[1/10 · 31 March 2021]

A hitman (Gary Daniels) accidently kills the daughter of one of his targets and feels remorseful. Five months later we find him in London where he is still on a guilt trip. He sees some thugs beating up some trafficked women and decides to end his vacation and do what he does best...kill people. The production values on this epic were noticeably bad. The audio levels fade in and out. The colorist for this film must have been out that week as face colors changed from tan on close-ups to washed out on wide shots. Eric Roberts smirks his way through as the main bad guy known as the Executive. He spends most of this movie sitting at his desk on the phone. Michael Madsen does his scenes in one location...a bar. He couldn't have done much less and still collect a paycheck. He finally gets to kill someone for no apparent reason. Daryl Hannah, looking so hideous as to being almost unrecognizable, spends her time in a bar before she mercifully makes a quick and permanent exit. Dominique Swain plays a hooker with the most bizarre accent I've ever heard. German? Russian? I'm not sure but it was even worse than her acting. Plenty of martial arts action and gunplay with a huge body count are at the forefront of this classic if that's your thing. The acting was horrible and the script was even worse. Just another head scratcher as to why this was ever made.

Coven (2020)

Like A Bad High School Play

[1/10 · 18 March 2021]

So the religious idiots of 17th century Basque Country decided to round up women who live near the woods and try them as witches. Of course, they're all guilty in the minds of these sorcerer believing half-wits which leads to burning the poor girls at the stake. Between the poor acting and the nonexistent script this is a big time waster. Most of the non-action that takes place in this movie occurs in a dungeon. If you're looking for some important message to derive from this low budget bore-fest it would be to not waste your time.

Crazy About Her (2021)

A Crazy Good Love Story

[9/10 · 13 March 2021]

When a one-night stand turns into much more sometimes we find out the extremes a person will go for love. Adrian meets Carla in a bar but when he finds out she resides at a psychiatric hospital he pretends to be a patient to be with her. This story reminds us that we can't just love mental illness away. A heartfelt look at people who live behind the gates where they can be themselves when living in the so-called "normal" world is impossible. You'll be laughing through tears in this excellent Spanish romantic comedy.

Dogwashers (2020)

Colombian Drug Lord Wannabe Failure

[5/10 · 9 March 2021]

From the title, Dogwashers, I wasn't exactly expecting a movie about a spa for canines but this was a surprise. A cocaine addicted drug lord goes crazy when he learns another gang is after him. He finds out which of his own gang is loyal and who is just there out of fear. This movie is slow-paced and could use some serious editing as scenes drag on for no apparent reason. It's a dismal flick with no heroes and just victims. I can't recommend it unless you've had a really good day and want to end it on a downer.

The Girl on the Train (2021)

Slow-Paced Remake

[6/10 · 27 February 2021]

This Bollywood remake is a slow-paced mystery about a lawyer whose cheating husband turns her into a alcoholic leading to a divorce. She takes to riding a train to deal with her pain and notices a woman in a house who seems to be leading an ideal life. She conjures up a story in her mind when she sees a different man at the woman's home and, suspecting her cheating, decides to confront her about it. This is a very contrived scenario that eventually leads to a discovery of a murder. There is an interesting plot twist at the end which helps to ties things together. This also helps to pick up the pace of this film that was slowed by musical interludes early on. The only other thing I found strange was the characters switching from speaking Hindi to English in the same sentence. The acting was excellent and this movie is worth a watch.

Black Beach (2020)

What Was That All About?

[4/10 · 19 February 2021]

Black Beach is like showing up for a movie twenty minutes into it. Some guy from Spain is supposed to go to an African country to try and get a kidnapped American engineer back. Some people he used to know were the kidnappers. The country's army gets involved trying to get some documents back to prevent a corrupt government from taking over. The guy's wife is almost nine months pregnant. His mom works as a diplomat in the United Nations. A lot of people get killed. The guy decides to raise the kidnapper's son whom he may have fathered. There's is so much going on that by the time it was done I didn't know what the hell I'd just watched. In the end, all I know is that the guy is unemployed, he has a new daughter and the boy he brought home likes to take baths. If you feel the need to be confused, then, by all means, watch this movie.

A Fortunate Man (2018–2019)

Making Life Harder Than It Needs To Be

[8/10 · 18 February 2021]

A turn of the 19th century tale of a young man from a strict religious upbringing yearning to find himself while fighting his internal demons. Per Sidenius (Esben Smed) goes to Copenhagen as an engineering student with hopes of taking Denmark into the new century with plans to turn solar and wind into new energy sources. His personal conflicts cause strife professionally and romantically as he pushes those close to him away. Beautiful cinematography and with many fine performances make this a classic you won't forget.

Red Dot (2021)

A Winter Getaway From Hell

[7/10 · 15 February 2021]

A young couple decides to take a few days off and see the Northern Lights. It's the dead of Swedish winter and after a little fender-bender at a gas station things go downhill fast. Soon the couple goes into full survival mode as they learn that even accidents can mean dire consequences. Beautiful cinematography and excellent acting help to overcome some plot holes and lead to a Quentin Tarantino-like ending.

Publieke werken (2015)

A Noble Effort

[7/10 · 5 February 2021]

Visually stunning but with a story that presents a dreary view of late 19th century Amsterdam. A pharmacist and his cousin concoct a plan to emigrate poor peat workers to America when an investor decides to build a luxury hotel and buy up downtown properties. They see an opportunity to pocket some money and offer the peasants a new start in the land of the free. Things don't go well in negotiations lending to some tragic results. Slower paced but excellent performances keep A Noble Intention interesting if flawed.

The Dig (2021)

Unearthing An Exceptional Story

[9/10 · 3 February 2021]

A story about an archaeological dig may seem to be a subject of narrow interest to many for a full-length drama. However, director Simon Stone weaves a story of depth with many layers uncovered along the way. Carey Mulligan is outstanding as Edith Pretty, a widow with a bad heart but with a sense of discovery on her British estate. She employs Basil Brown (Ralph Fiennes) to lead a team excavating the mounds of land to find what treasures lie beneath. Beautiful cinematography adds to this gem as England is on the cusp of war in 1938. Lily James is charming as a woman in a loveless marriage whose future plans are stymied due to the impending conflict with Germany. Bases on a true story, The Dig explores the meaning of history and life through past civilizations but also raises the question of what happens to us, if anything, once our time is up on earth. This is a movie that will keeping you thinking long after the credits roll.

Everly (2014)

My New Favorite Holiday Movie

[8/10 · 1 February 2021]

Everly (Salma Hayek) is an overworked woman who has had it with her boss and her job. Unfortunately, her employer doesn't have much of a retirement plan so when he wants her terminated, he really means it. Having not seen her family in four years and wanting a better work/life balance, she takes her frustrations out on her co-workers who are also angry at not getting a Christmas bonus. Her family also gets treated poorly when they visit her at work. The special effects crew worked overtime on what starts out as an action/thriller but soon morphs into a very, very dark comedy that'll make you appreciate having the opportunity to work from home. The beautiful Hayek shows off her acting chops whether it's taking a stand against workplace sexual harassment or using a machine gun against the HR department. Die Hard and It's A Wonderful Life both take a back seat to this Christmas gem. You'll have to watch it to see if everyone lives happily ever(ly) after.

Death of Me (2020)

Like A Bad Twilight Zone Episode

[3/10 · 29 January 2021]

A travel writer (Luke Hemsworth) and his wife (Maggie Q) are trying to leave an island off the coast of Thailand before a typhoon hits. They wake up not knowing how they got back to their hotel room. Hemsworth's camera shows video of him killing his wife, except that she isn't dead. It seems someone dropped some hallucinogens into their drinks and then the insanity begins. As Maggie tries to figure out what is going on, her husband disappears. I got as lost as the whole plot in this disaster seemed to. I didn't know what was real and what were hallucinations, just like Maggie's character. If you don't drink, this epic might make you start. You've been warned.

The Vanished (2020)

Five Stages of Weird

[6/10 · 28 January 2021]

A married couple goes camping, seemingly with their ten-year-old daughter. She disappears as soon as they get there and strangeness ensues. Ann Heche does well portraying a mother who goes off the deep end in her grief. Thomas Jane seems miscast as the father whose reactions seem over the top. The supporting characters bring their own dysfunctional backstories to this slow-paced thriller. Some plot holes are unresolved and some editing would have improved the final product. The plot twist at the end made me question why I sat through this thing.

Stratton (2017)

Mission Impossible Wanna-be

[6/10 · 27 January 2021]

Fast paced thriller that tries to make up for the flat characters with plenty of guns, car chases and action sequences. Stratton (Dominic Cooper) heads a British commando unit trying to bring down a terrorist cell. His character has all the charm of a cardboard cut-out but Gemma Chan stands out in her role as Aggy, a member of the squad. It's a by-the-book B-movie espionage offering that we've seen before and done better.

Edge of Extinction (2020)

If You Survive An Apocalypse It Doesn't Mean It's The End of the World

[6/10 · 26 January 2021]

A brutal, British flick about a guy (Luke Hobson) who has tried to avoid humanity years after World War III as he attempts to survive the chaos of a country with no order. He crosses paths with a woman who teams up with two other survivors to rob him. That's where his troubles begin. A cannibalistic bunch in what's left of a nearby city kidnap the woman and the hero rescues her. It reminded me of the desolation of Mad Max without the vehicles. Not bad for a low budget blood fest with fair acting but not something that will leave you wanting more.

The Courier (2019)

What Just Happened?

[3/10 · 20 January 2021]

Here's the plot to this epic.....put Olga Kurylenko on a motorcycle, give her the task of protecting a wimpy eyewitness to a murder before a bunch of rent-a-thugs wipe him from the planet. Oh, and keep the action in a parking garage. Gary Oldman is the crime boss and his role seems to be what Bruce Willis does nowadays....show up for a couple of days, say some lines in a few locations, drink some booze and get a paycheck. Plenty of blood in this one as the bullet-proof vest-wearing Olga motors around as a former special ops agent whose civilian job is as a courier. A swiss cheese script, strange editing, unbelievable fight scenes and awful dialogue make this one a surefire clunker. I would have given it just one star but I gave it another because Olga was in it. And one more star because I used to be a courier myself but where she had a cool bike, I drove a '77 Pinto.

An Imperfect Murder (2017)

Sleeper of the Year

[1/10 · 16 January 2021]

I've had sleep issues the past couple of years. When I realized my Melatonin was gone I was worried I'd be up all night. Fortunately, I spotted this little gem on Netflix and the problem was solved. Fifteen minutes in, I was out like a light. Last night I tried it again. This time I made it almost twenty minutes before the Sandman paid me a visit. They must have shot this epic in one day and that's if they took a three hour lunch. Everyone made a cameo appearance except Sienna Miller and she probably wished she had too. When the most entertaining part is listening to an old guy with dementia babbling on, you know you've hit bottom.