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Reviews
V (2009)
V for Vapid
I love Sci-Fi, whether it comes in the form of a novel, a movie, a video game or a TV show. When I heard this new series I was ecstatic. I eagerly began watching... and was disappointed miserably.
"V" is the dumbest, the least rational show I've ever watched, hands down. The story is so illogical that I'm sure Carl Sagan is screaming with outrage in the afterlife (which he didn't believe in). The characters react to the situation in a way that suggests the screen writers were stoned out of their minds when they were writing this abomination. And the show has some of the most ridiculous ideas ever infested the human mind. For example, I couldn't help but stare in utter horror at the scene where the head honcho spoke to the people of the world via giant TV/space-ship screens. Are you freakin kidding me?!
I'm sure that if someday actual aliens visit us and catch a glimpse of this show, they'll either hyper-jump to the furthest reaches of the galaxy or destroy our species as a favor to all sentient life.
It brakes my heart what passes for Sci-Fi these days. We deserve much, much better than this, people. Yet they keep feeding us crap, because many of us are willing to eat it. Otherwise how could this stupid-beyond-imagination show get a 7.6 rating?
For god's sake, develop some taste.
Tekken (2010)
You've Got To Be Kidding Me
First of all, I've never played Tekken games. And after watching the first 20 minutes of this mega-mess (which was all I could take before stopping the movie screaming with outrage), I have no regrets what-so-ever.
Now don't take me wrong, I like a good old fight movie as much as the next guy, but this Tekken-thing is so horrible that I doubt even the most die-hard fan of the genre will have the endurance to watch through it.
The story seems like it was written by a four year old retard, the camera during the fight scenes are all over the place, and the characters have less believability than Tooth Fairy. And for some reason that I can't discern, almost all of the characters speak with foreign (and awful) accents.
And how the hell is a Japanese corporation controlling the States with samurai-looking henchmen?! Are there no powerful American corporations in the near future? Is that even remotely possible? In short, the movie is dumb beyond measure. Don't bother.
Being Erica (2009)
Television At Its Worst
I had the bad luck to recently watch a few episodes of this dreadful... thing... with the girlfriend and I must say that I despised every second of it. And here's why:
First of all, it's the same old s#!t; a pretty girl who has everything in life is somehow introduced to us as a victim. She doesn't have a nice job (meaning she is not the CEO of some big company), she doesn't have a boyfriend (even though she's practically surrounded by good-looking decent man who throw themselves at her) and she has a horrible family (which means they sometimes nag her). You get my drift. Boo-freaking-hoo!!
But fear not! God is on our poor, poor heroine's side! One day she meets with a psychiatrist/magician/time-traveler/demigod and this man sends our girl back in time to correct her past mistakes and make her life better. Now I have no idea why this powerful entity (god?) helps Erica instead of all those people suffering all around the world; the poor, the hungry, the abused, etc. Well, I guess not having a perfect life is a huge problem. Anyway, our girl goes back in time and behaves differently in certain situations and guess what? Nothing changes in the present! WTF?!? She just learns stuff about herself and makes herself a better individual... not! She's still the same disgustingly nice, clingy, babbly, clueless, selfish, self-absorbed human being she always was.
And this is all the show is all about! Episode after episode we see the same thing over and over until we can't decide whether we should go puke or just kill ourselves and be done with it. Normally I couldn't care less about a crappy series, but this is so bad that I felt the irresistible urge to warn my fellow viewer to avoid this train wreck at all costs. So beware!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
You've Gotta Be Kidding Me
Just watched the movie (better late than never, eh?). Being the sharing kind of guy I am, I wanted to point out a few of my opinions about this train wreck.
1) The trademark Michael Bay camera is, as always, all over the place - even in the scenes where there's no action at all! Characters talk about stuff and what does the camera do? It moves around them non-stop! At the end of the movie I felt like I had ridden a bad roller-coaster for too long.
2) I enjoy a romantic movie every now and then, especially with a girl next to me. Bu I'm sick to the bone with seeing romantic twists in all kinds of movies. In ROTF our heroes are saving the world from evil robots and they still find the time to have a relationship, complete with arguments, fights, jealousy fits, and all that. What the hell!?
3) I have no objection for pretty girls strutting around in movies, but there is a limit to that. Apparently M. Bay doesn't know about this limit. There are way too many half-naked girls in this movie. Especially the dorm Sam moves in looks like the Playboy Mansion more than anywhere else.
4) Action movies don't necessarily have strong stories; that being said, this movie's plot manages to insult a 5-year-old's intelligence. They spend $200 million and still can't write a decent story? How hard can it be?
5) Of all the stupid things in this movie, there are actually two robots, twins to be precise, who talk and behave like stereotype Afro-American gangbangers. Apart from being extremely insulting to black people, why would robots do that, even if they could? For crying out loud, what is the logic behind this?
6) I am aware that history is written by those holding the pen; that being said, I've had enough of watching American propaganda in Hollywood movies. In ROTF, the U.S., once again, saves the world. Americans bravely fight and sacrifice themselves while the rest of the world sits on its butt. U.S. war machines roam the skies, conquer the seas, dominate the land, and as always people from other nations live in mud huts and breed chickens. Get Real!
ROTF is a disappointment, through and through. If you like watching endless special effects hour after hour, can listen loud, tuneless action music without having a headache, and have a strong stomach for M. Bay's shaky camera, than go for it. Otherwise avoid it like a pile of nuclear waste.
Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (1982)
Words Are Not Enough
I know that it's been a long while since this movie has come out. Still I felt the need to write a comment, seeing that all the others I've read don't do any justice to The Man Who Saves The World.
The only thing that can be said about this movie is that it's unique - it's as simple as that. It's not good, it's not bad; it's something beyond those concepts. Even if the greatest directors, screen writers, actors, and producers of our era get together and try to create something similar to this with an unlimited budget, they'd fail miserably. No matter how long you'll live and how many movies you'll watch, you'll never see anything like this.
Maybe you will hate it, or maybe you'll absolutely love it; it doesn't matter. The Man Who Saves The World is a must-see for not only movie goers, bu for all human beings everywhere. So rent it, download it, steal it, whatever. Just find it and spend the next hour and a half in complete amazement and utter disbelief.
Infestation (2009)
Amateurish At Best
This movie looks like it has been made by a bunch of high school kids with too much time in their hands. The acting is awful, the special effects are awkward and uninteresting, and the plot is just plain idiotic.
The way the characters react to their unexpected situation (finding themselves in the middle of the invasion of earth by man-sized bugs) is completely unrealistic; there's no shock and no apparent fear. They just wake up and say, "Oh, this is bad. So what's next?" I wasn't expecting a miracle before I began watching, bu still I was sorely disappointed.
Go read a book or something. Don't waste your time with this trash.