I must admit, I love hillbilly, mutant, backwoods, "kill all the outsiders because they're stupid and deserve it" genre fare. Love it. Love it from the bottom of my mud encrusted Christian Louboutin's to the top of my John Deer Tractor cap. From "The Hills Have Eyes" to "Deliverance" to "Wrong Turn", nothing better (or more American) than a bunch o' city slickers going' places they shouldn't, poking' their noses around and getting' said noses eaten off. It's the best. And "Albino Farm" is another worthy addition in to the white-trash, blood-splattered, inbred-killer horror film lexicon. From the beginning of the story, you are sucked in by wispy, almost dream-like shots circa the 1950's of 2 young boys on their bikes (baseball cards in spokes!)as they peddle through an All-American ma, pa, and apple pie town, turn the corner and head out deep into the neighboring woods. There, we get our first glimpse of the namesake "Albino Farm" and an effective horrific tease of its mysterious legend. Without giving away too much, the film then bounces to modern day where a group of university students, on a mid-term assignment exploring local legends and the roots of myths, are forced off the road by a roadkill-scraping dwarf obviously bent on bringing home some vittles to the kin-folk. A flat tire forces our heroes deeper off the beaten path where they encounter local after disturbingly creepy local – leading them deeper in to the mystery of the farm and finally to the farm itself. As you can see from the premise, there is some unique stuff, counterbalanced with the typical genre doing's we've seen time and time again. And while at times the pacing of the film could be tightened up and there are moments when you can see what's gonna happen next from a Wal-mart-Super-Center-mile-away, there are moments of fresh, exciting and truly invigorating horror to be had
can anyone say (SPOILER!!!), Grandma-church-lady breastfeeding a deformed baby??? Gross, yes! But also super-weird and ridiculously wonderful! While, for the most part, "Albino Farm" is low-budget fare, the effects (by IMP Creations) are realistic, the acting pretty darn good and the story enough to keep one engaged to the bitter (and shockingly surprising and non-clichéd!) end. Chris Jericho (of WWE wrestling fame) and Richard Christy (of the Howard Stern Show "let me put my private part on Sal the Stockbrokers face" fame) turn in inspired performances. But the main four college friends played by Sunkrish Bala, Tammin Sursok, Alicia Lagano and Nick Richey deserve the most credit. They take typical dialog, make it their own and actually make you care (and even like!) these characters. Oh, and Bianca Barnett, who played the oversexed but "careful if you shun me because hell hath no furry like a Pig-Bitch scorned", was hot, hot, HOT!! Makes this girl wanna give up on the non-mutated dating pool and switch to pork, the other white meat for' sure! Definitely fun for Halloween and while it isn't the best of all time, if nothing else, the girls are hot, the blood flows well and there's even a laugh or two in the right place. I give it a mutated, over-sized, deformed, unwashed, Stuckey's, hillbilly thumbs-up. Let's hope there's a sequel as I'm ready to go back in the farm anytime! Ewww-wee, squeal like a pig, girl!!!!!
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