nathan-yeo Reviews

Perkins' 14 (2009)

Zombie film, I'm calling IT! oh i mean infected Americans.

[7/10 · 11 October 2009]

Start off with this, is a grade "D" horror-movie not a Merchant Ivory production of "WINDSWEPT MANOR". So you leave this film be ya-hear it ain't hurting nobody. Start off with the movie jumps around a bit and when it lands you have the dysfunctional Sheriff still grieving the loss of his son and hitting on his daughters friends. His boyz arrest a creepy guy who tries to talk his way out of jail. A further investigation leads him to believe this guy is responsible for the disappearance of his son and other kids. A deputy is sent to do an illegal search of the suspects residence. he releases the now grown son who starts infecting everyone with the crazies. The father kills the creep before he can tell them whats going on. the father won't let anyone kill his son which would've nipped this in the bud. It all culminates in a deadly stand off inside the local cop-shop.

The Informers (2008)

A boring outdated movie about Hollywood excess.

[1/10 · 11 October 2009]

Remember back in the late 80's there were thesestr8video films about underground fight-clubs that only the rich and powerful had access to and Lorenzo-Lamas had to go under-cover to expose. Now with every neighborhood having a garage fight-club or back-yard wrestling league they seem outdated. Well between Courtney Cox's show dirt and TMZ this movie is sadly outdated and horribly tame. It advertises itself as a look inside the secret drug and cocaine fueled world of Hollywood's blonde haired bronze skinned chosen ones. Who make million dollars deals all-day and go clubbing all-night and ….Start-off cocaine fueled sex doesn't happen on grammas' old king sized bed. It happens in club bathrooms, fancy restaurants kitchen floors parking lots pools and limos. And it involves a lot more Oral sex. As for the clubbing they go to one club as I remember and they didn't even get into the VIPs room. It s was the main club floor that's it. Characters are introduced by some named older actor playing their handler and screaming at them about their life of excess and how they're going to get themselves in trouble. Thanks mom. One character is chewed out for having sex with a 15 yoa. The show Dirt had an action adventure star caught on a "To catch a predator" type under-cover sting. This movie was supposed to take you inside the secret world tell you something you didn't know. Hell I know more about the secret world of Hollywood VIP's than this writer and director. And there was no suspense or sense of adventure. No-one caught a beating or a dick they didn't want because of a drug debt. Nothing happened nothing happened. Except Mickey Rourke turned in another fine sleazy performance.

Arn: The Knight Templar (2007)

Sweden throws their hat in the ring for the origin of KING AURTHER

[5/10 · 11 October 2009]

I watched this Swedish language film with Spanish subtitles. They did speak English American English at that for several scenes during the film, it basically doubled for or instead of Arabic. I liked that and I like the film. It's about a trained warrior who goes to the mid-east to serve out his penance, and earn his pro-card. He comes back and has to help his people free themselves from their oppressors. The ending scroll told how he then went on to unite England. It was a good fill, well choreographed well acted. The romance was good and how she was punished for her indiscretions too, so they can flash back and forth between the stories. The mid-east adventure was lifted almost scene by scene from "Kingdom of Heaven." The same names the same bad-guys including evil arrogant French-knights. He kills some Arabs and gets in good with the Arab war-lord. He's plotted on and against by other Templers jealous of the name he's earning for himself.

Hit and Run (2009 Video)

"STUCK" in the windshield = "Hit and Run".

[7/10 · 23 September 2009]

Its's hard to make a horror movie about the horrific events that surrounded the true story of stuck in the windshield. Registered nurse high on ecstasy runs over a homeless guy who ends up stuck in her windshield. she drives him home and watches as he slowly dies. she gets 50 years for murder. Well these two movies are are worse than the actual event. in both movies the intoxicated "womyn" drivers run down a guy and don't call the police. They call their boyfriends to do clean-up and both boyfriends are killed by the still alive. In "STUCK" the there's a winner, in this movie there's no winners. The victim goes into a pet cemetery deal and attacks his family. he stalks the suspect and it ends badly and bloody. As in STUCK and the actual event itself.

Blood and Bone (2009)

The black version of every other fight movie.

[8/10 · 23 September 2009]

This'll probably be the 5th fight movie I've seen with Micheal Jai WHITE in it. And its the second time I've seen him play the put upon hero (UNDISPUTED II). But this time is the first time I've seen him with an all black cast. All the big brothers you wanted to see catch or give a beaten except the TERRY TATE office linebacker dude, and Adebisi. Hell the movie even had SAID in it. Yes I'v e seen a lot better fight scenes these were maybe around early VAN-DAMME choreographed scenes. But when you're trying to get big lumbering "KIMBO SLICE and Bob SAPP to do hurricane kicks it just ain't going to happen. And yes both are professional fighters who I've seen fight and lose, in the real world, and there real fights were more exciting. But you've never seen "KIMBO" in a love scene B4 have you.

Grace (III) (2009)

ZOMBIE BABY turns into VAMPIRE BABY!

[10/10 · 23 September 2009]

Say 4 the record I don't like any movie that gives me a woody about two octogenarians getting it on. But when MRS. CRAB-APPLE grabbed Mr. CRAB-ABBLES crank-shaft because she was getting hot and bothered by her swollen boobs, well it is what it is. To start this off correctly, eat it HIPPIES. A happy neo-hippie holistic food/medicine couple are having a baby, it dies due to an accident that kills the husband. They bring the baby to term and breast feeding it brings it back to re-animation. Flies are attracted to the baby and its barely above room temperature. Yes a woman alone sitting on a fat inheritance will keep the house at 94 degrees. the baby won't stop feeding and the woman's nipples are bleeding like a marathon runner. She starts feeding it animal blood and then as the husbands meddling mother, and doctors get involved the forsaken seed goes from one victim to the next. oh you see boobs but not in the way you want to see them.

Blood Trails (2006)

"HITCH-HIKER" on a mountain-bike.

[10/10 · 21 September 2009]

The lead character lives her life the way she drives her bike, fast and furious loose and without rules. UNknown off in the corner a stalker awaits. he pulls her over Identifies himself as an officer. She figures she'll go out with him and has a bad date a horrible date. Shje lets her boyfriend take her out on the woods for a therapeutic bike-ride. And her comes the stalker. Before he cuffed her to a bed, this time he doesn't hold her captive, he just slaughters anyone in the woods who tries to help her and get her to safety. His derangement is proved when he captures her and gives her a bowl of spaghetti witch she wolves down, he thinks she's over on his side. Until she gets her strength back and she comes at him with his own knife. He's quick enough to get it away but there's still more people to kill before this movies over.

Ready or Not (2009)

Unfunny Vegas road-trip bachelor-buddy movie o nudity.

[1/10 · 21 September 2009]

First off you have you're stereotypical college buddies. The tool-cool confirmed bachelor doesn't believe in blood. The whiny loser looking for love. The inconvenient married guy hen-picked looking to cut loose since his over-bearing wife isn't there. They have the strippers come thru and wake-up jumping from one telegraphed cliché to another. The GANGSTERs house who treats him good and betas everyone else. Warn them not to touch his sister, wife, daughter, they do, and are hunted. The come to Jesus moment in the Indian Peyot tent. The ending is stupid and thru-out the entire movie you're thinking thats how its going to end. It's a long way for no pay-off, no comedy, and no nudity.

Far North (2007)

Worst manage-a-trios ever.

[10/10 · 20 September 2009]

Life in the barren north, is cruel and harsh, and so are the people that eek out an existence in this frozen hell-hole. Upon looking at the cover with MIchelle YEOH (luv-her) and Sean BEAN, and a young Asian actress named Michelle, I couldn't wait for the sex scene with the three of them. Bodies wrapped as one trying to fight off the cold. Well what does everybody want but no-one likes. Getting exactly what you want. I got it alright and wished i never saw it. Anyhoo the movie starts off with the lead character killing one of her sled dogs to make a hearty beefy stew. You then see the harsh existence and life out there. they pass a work camp. Finally an escapee from the work camp or deserter arrives. He brings with him the marvels of the modern world and jealously as the two pine for his affection. In the end your left speechless and no anyone who lives up there has to be crazy.

Plaguers (2008)

No more answering the calls for help in space.

[4/10 · 20 September 2009]

Plaguers sounds like an Immature Fraternity knick-name for a disease, and thats exactly describes the production value, script and plot of this film. You've seen this all B4, a space-ship full of renegades and misfits answers the call for help of another ship and either is hunted down on that ship, or brings something aboard their ship that hunts them down one by one. Here they smuggled some energy source that gives off so much energy it can raise the dead. So they answer an S.O.S. call of a ship. The ship is filled with hot young nurses. The nurses turn about to be pirates and roll the crew. Someone dies and is resurrected by the energy source and the (SPACE) ZOMBIE plague starts from there.

The Steam Experiment (2009)

Someone not in touch with reality, gives people a bad reality.

[5/10 · 16 September 2009]

A guy goes into a newspaper to report he has 6 people he locked away in a steam room which will get above 130degrees an kill them. Its some weird type of experiment cooked-up. The newspaper instead of being interested in the story of the 6-people himself slides it off to his old detective buddy. From their Armnade Assante and Erick Roberts go back in fourth. Poorly written yes, there's no witty dialog the characters are pretty carbon-copy. There's a little "SAW" feeling to it. But then again "CRIMINAL MINDS" already did this with a group of "CHEER-LEADERS". You feel this has been done before, and it has been done before but not as a feature movie, a TV show. In the end I liked it.

Bullet Boy (2004)

The last 48(hours)

[10/10 · 16 September 2009]

Most homicides are solved in the first 48hours. A procedure to solve homicides is to back-track the last 48hours of a victims life. That's what this movie is. The lead character gets out of jail and is picked up by his doomed friend. Who speeds and drives recklessly getting them in an accident. The accident leads to a confrontation that they back down from. once word get out they back down, they must do something to defend their honor. Things get way out of control from there. The hand-held NYPD blue camera style is great. Well acted the character and events were believable, the way this played out in MANCHESTER (gunchester)is the same way is played out in ATLANTA, COMPTON, my CITY, and everywhere else where young men fight and die to protect their "REP".

Death Rattle: Crystal Ice (2009)

Not bad for a bad film.

[5/10 · 16 September 2009]

A Federal MARSHALL who answers to the army, returns home to investigate the death of his boy-hood friend. You've seen this plot and story line before but never like this. The women are butter bodies cute faces slop-bods. No nudity. Its one of those, where every-body wanted to be in the film, and he had to find a way to put them, in so the story just kept getting bigger. It was more about life in a small town and how they stick together and work as a team. Instead of as the cover suggests him in sneaking around in cameo face paint, slicing henchman's throats and blowing-up meth labs with some slick as special forces tricks. The only fight scene he gets his ass kicked.

Lifeforce (1985)

Boobs, Vampires, Zombies, Commandos, and CPTN PICARD

[10/10 · 9 September 2009]

This is the classic Zombie film it has, the one true element of it. That's to have you sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for them to find out how to kill it. So the movie starts off with them finding this perfect c-cup thick-tailed female vampire in a suspended state (she remains naked for throughout the movie. Then the mystery begins the ships is destroyed. The bodies are brought to earth and slowly you see the zombie uprising start as one turns two who then turn four then sixteen are turned to Zombies by the Vampire. Commandos our brought in to hunt her down. Thats a ruse just to get the heroes out of the city. When they return the city quarantined rage zombies are everywhere. And the two have to fight there way through the road-block nd then fight their way through the Zombie hordes to save the planet. It was awesome Slow-paced but awesome just the same.

Cyclops (2008 TV Movie)

Another SCI-FI CGI Channel DUD!

[6/10 · 9 September 2009]

Another stoopid Sci-Fi channel "HOTDRAGQUEEENCGIMESS!!!" no humor no dialog soap-opera channel acting. They said we'll do a Cyclops movie make it around roman times get in on that whole 300 thang. This is bad, its just bad, there's nothing here no excitement no thrills. The CYBORG escapes like 20 frikin times all from the same mistake over and over. Foolish Drunk Romans teasing it. So throw a tarp over it, it'll think its night then sleep until the big gladiatorial event. ANyhoo the Cyclops just runs around ripping up roman slaves in unimaginable ways. You've seen enough roman movies to guess the ending. I got this movies because i wanted to see how they did the whole roman armor. i wasn't disappointed at all it was good and in different variety too. But if I watched this for the movie I'd be beside myself with anger.

Cool Money (2005 TV Movie)

This movie explains everything about the crime except why he deserves to get away with it.

[6/10 · 9 September 2009]

Bobby comfort does is a well good movie and all. Drops a little sympathy with him being a good father and a loving husband. it tells the organic nature of the crime, and little tricks of the trade. But it never answers why he needs the money why he has to do this than work a 9 to 5. he doesn't gamble doesn't do drugs, he's not on some TAHITIANS paradise resort. No sick daughter no sick grand-mother. Why can't he be a stock-boy some-where. Where I live we have these pimps, and they always describe themselves as a man of leisure. Menaing lazy ass N-word. Bobby doesn't do describe himself as this. But then we don't see him take his kids to the soccer game. they did say he was in debt , but so am I and I work. I'm sorry i don't mean to be moral oral here, I just want to know what he did with the money he got for winning the law-suit.

Frankenhood (2009)

"Week-en at Bernies" meets "HOOP-DREAMS"

[6 September 2009]

Basic premise for the movie: "You get some black comedians film them doing their shtick. Two down-and out comedians trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents. You throw in a get-rich gimmick. Some life danger of why they need the money, so we don't think they are just a bunch of lazy hustlers. Some hot woman every here and there. Some physical comedy so its just not the same old same old. You got this movie. As for the women, it starts off with a guy fantasizing about women in a "LIMO". Then it gets to the part of his neighbor running on a tread-mill no bras wet t-shirt. It ain't a lot but she had a lot, and I'll take it. I liked this film.

Internet Dating (2008 Video)

Well I hope with all those MASTER-P got laid at least.

[5 September 2009]

Here goes the story MASTER-P went into the club hit on some waitresses/slash models and told them he could make them stars he's got a movie for them right now. So he threw some money at a bunch of comedians and told them to do their thang act your color in front of the camera. And thats all the movie is, comedians show-up at a sandwich shop, have some unscripted dialog with the employees featuring KAT WILLIAMS. Then the comedians act a fool. Then they leave and are seen later acting a fool. Its funny in the beginning but after-awhile gets boring. Know-one gets kicked in the nuts, or slips on a banana peel. No vicious pigs, midgets, Squirrels or Chihauhas! nothing but KAT WILLIAMS, being KAT, and Master-P playing the straight man.

American Violet (2008)

A new federal law puts a bounty on the heads of black people.

[10/10 · 5 September 2009]

First off the cast was delicious, Nicole BEHARIE I could watch all day. I've been a big fan of Micheal O'KEEFE since I saw him in "The Great Santini". Here he plays the racist DA who flies a helicopter over the local projects. He'd like to chase everybody out of there but the county can't afford too. However when the Federal Government will give money to counties over drug-dealing convictions he now has the recourses to do just that. He raids them arrests everybody for felony dealing which puts them in jail. If they plead to get out then they have a felony record can't live in the projects and can't vote against him. But one woman stands up and fights the charges and in doing so reveals that the DA trumped up charges and his scheme falls apart before his eyes. This movie gets a 10 because it also blames the victims for the situation they got themselves into. it delves into the mentality of the project people. My only problem is I've extensively read articles when this happened and the actual even is more interesting than the movie.

Underground (I) (2007)

A bad but interesting MOVIE.

[5/10 · 1 September 2009]

You've seen this movie a 1000 times B4 rich and the privileged class bet huge sums of money on lower-class fighters. the fighters have a tragic story and fight for redemption and a better fight. The dialog and script was trash pure rubbish. The problem is we don't live in a world where you have to be a privileged rich bored play-boy to see an under-ground fight club. All you have to do is have basic cable. Or find some fat kid with a bunch of tattoos and give him a 6-pack of beer and a couple VICADONE pills. He'll take you to one. What i did like were the characters they were the most unusual and interesting to be in a fight club. A priest, a teacher, an immigrant, and model. A male model in an underground fight-club. Loved zat.

Hide (2008)

The sequel to "Natural Born Killers"

[5/10 · 1 September 2009]

If your like me and you liked Tarantinos NBK, but felt there should've been more roaming the road slaughtering the road killing people then you'll like this film. it borrows from that and other movies, but instead of telling why the woman kills it gets more into why the guys the killer. The movie has enough twists and turns that it goes full circle. The acting was good and the writer tried to get the witty dialog that is known for Tarantinos films but just doesn't nail it.

Who can forget the opening scene of step-father with the stereo-typical clean cut suburban father grooming himself in the mirror. then walks down stairs to the bloody aftermath of the mayhem he caused downstairs. Well imagine that same scene in a road-house diner, thats how the movie starts. The next scene, while his gun-moll seduce a "GoB" for murder you see the guy sidle up to a Rabid dog and have a monologue about the killer inside you. you don't know if he's talking about himself or the girl but you'll find out shortly.

Motives 2 (2007 Video)

4-get the first "MOTIVE"

[6/10 · 1 September 2009]

I saw the first "MOTIVE" movie awhile ago and don't remember a darn thing, but it was good. Good-looking well dressed well heeled black people plotting on each other. Some pretty-boy, thought he was getting away with something and ended up getting set-up and caught-up. But thats all I remember So getting beating over the head every other scene with them back logging to the first movie got pretty irritating. I mean there were no "Zombies" or "Samuria Swords" or "Spank-Bank worthy love scenes" so I couldn't see watching it again just to know what was going in the second movie. I think the second one would have been better had they feathered it in on the premise of the brother trying to solve his brothers murder. And the suspects just skyfing on each other trying to stay out of trouble. That being said, Micheal White who always plays tragic doomed characters (The Shield / Brick) turned in a good performance as always. William L. JOHNSON made up for his irritatingly over the top performance in the "PLAYERZ COURT".

The Marsh (2006)

Here we go with another benevolent spirit back for revenge movie

[5/10 · 30 August 2009]

I'm a little bit BIAS when it comes to this movie because t has my future baby mamma "Gabrielle ANWAR" and my boy Forest WHITAKER. i could watch a 90 minute video of them just staring into a camera or clipping coupons, or raising multi-racial kids or something.

However a young woman who fled her town under mysterious reasons returns to the town to do a book. Upon residing at a hotel she's haunted by flash-backs premonitions and for-shadowing and spirits and ghosts. You now spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out what tragic event has or is going to befall the heroin that the spirits are telling her about. There's a few twists and turn some scenes are predictable the others aren't. It was a good flick.

Chain Link (2008)

The real "EARL" day and life keeps going from "BAD" from "WORST"!

[5/10 · 30 August 2009]

The main character is the usual atypical "My name is Earl" type of guy. Engaging and funny underachiever just trying to make it buy in life. However the things he does don't make his life any easier and make everyone else's life around him harder. Just out of jail he's trying to stop his estranged baby-mamma from leaving town with his son. She's hooked up with another "Ne're do well", who can at least keep a roof over heir head and food in their stomach. His son who's getting bullied and picked on in school. Plus he's gotta start a new job with his dad's drinking buddy, to keep from getting his parole revoked. Plus there's his grandmother, his support network who, believes he can do no wrong. All of these people will be affected by his actions this day. "EARL" doesn't have anything and he won't let anyone else have anything as well. Oh he doesn't mean to do bad things, in his heart he means well. But the road to hell is paved with good Intentions.

Everybody Dies (2009)

Nobody dies, horrible Eastwood impression.

[4/10 · 24 August 2009]

Some body got ahold of the paint by numbers manual of bad 90's str8 2 video movie. RULE. 1 one the hero must be a cop with a mysterious military pass. RULE. 2 have him be part of some secret police unit. RULE. 3 He should be the lone-wolf rainmaker of the unit. that unit should be corrupt and incompetent. RULE. 4 He should turn against that unit protecting a call-girl or prostitute, or gangster-moll.

That's this movie except there's no body count, I don't remember any-one getting killed. mainly because I was to busy trying to figure out what accent he was speaking with. besides the accent he's doing this gruff Clenched-Jaw Clint Eastwood impression. In one scene he mumbles to a kid "Why do you have gold-teeth?" the kid retorts back "My father bought them for me." He then head-butts the poor lad and knocks them out. (WTF!!)(WTF)