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scotsmist1
Reviews
Seven Psychopaths (2012)
Seven Psychopaths
From the opening Scene it tried and failed to play out as a classical Tarantino sketch, I mean come on even the girl jogger managed to surprise and scare the crap out of them these professional killers where unqualified to kill time.
Billy (Sam Rockwell) plays a small time crook who makes a living by dog- napping with another ageing petty crook (Christopher Walken)where they would wait for reward notices to go up so that they could eventually sell the dogs back for the reward money. Marty (Colin Farrell) plays a talentless alcoholic screenwriter, (perhaps if truth be known the film would have been a damn sight better if he had.) Story starts (I mean fails to start) when Billy steals 'Mad Charlie's mutt and instead of returning it to him decides to keep it for himself..... A film about men, guns & little dogs should have at least given me a clue into what I was about to step into, this film was a waste of good actors who may I add did an OK job with the arse-wipe of a script, a script which had more holes in it than a 'Tetley Tebag'. This will go down bad for Farrell who by now should be putting together some fine acting yet instead has fallen into the 'Hugh Grant Syndrome' by making a couple of so-so's and then melting into a comfortable stereotype of nothingness. Woody & Rockwell are both great actors with a long list of crowd pleaser's between them so this will end up being real turkeys for them, I mean with their professionalism one would have thought that they would have smelt a turd of this magnitude way off and have avoided it like an Oprah Winfrey interview. Anyway Pandora box has now been kicked well and truly open and so we have another pox to contend with but don't take it from me if you have 110 minutes of your life that you want to throw away then go ahead otherwise spend it with your spouse, your kids, family even your bloody Shih Tzu!
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Storage 24 (2012)
Oh dear, exactly what I expected
I am a patient man and I can sit through just about anything yet watching this tortured me to the point were I wanted to vomit,,,,No, no not because of gore but more poor! The acting seemed to come straight out of woody woodpeckers school of drama (for creatively challenged newbies) As for unstoppable entertainment, I create better with my bowel movements so please just stop! If it was supposed to be a comedy it might have worked to say 2 and a half stars but it was NOT funny in fact it was depressing to the point until Chris comes face to face with the......'with the WTF was it?' As I said I can take a kicking but this was too cruel I want to be compensated for every second I had to endure and who ever unleashed this crock should be hung drawn & quarterer and have his head stuck on Pinewood studios gates for crimes against humility. But don't take my word for it, if you are as much a fool as me then go ahead and indulge in thy doom.