snakes3992 Reviews

How High 2 (2019 TV Movie)

Terrible Sequel

[2/10 · 27 May 2019]

This sequel was not funny and not even entertaining. The characters are very forgettable, none of the jokes are funny, there's no Redman and no Method Man. Redman and Method Man were great in the first movie, sure the first is not the best, but it's still funny and a classic. Mike Epps in this movie was not funny, he needs to pick better movies, because this movie is not for him. This sequel can go to hell for all I can care. They are a few jokes that are a little funny, but that's not enough to make the movie entaining or good.

The First Purge (2018)

A good prequel

[8/10 · 18 October 2018]

It explains very well on how the Purge works, as a prequel it seems to have interesting details how it works. I like the characters, the blood leader Dmitri is a good hero in this movie, he cares about his sister and brother making sure they pick the choices, and protect, I also like the fact he's a badass. The sister and brother Nya and Isaiah are a good team, always try to protect themselves, and be prepared for the Purge. Skeletor is a creepy drug addict, his behavior does gives me goosebumps, you can easily tell he's serious, and that he's ready for this to start. The movie has some good pacing and some creepy suspense. The action is intense as well. My only problem with this movie is that the acting is a little wooden, but overall a good movie.

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

Awesome

[9/10 · 15 November 2014]

This movie is f***ing awesome, the premise about an exterminator faces a big giant mutant spider is pretty cool. Alex the exterminator is awesome, he's funny, he knows a lot about facing bugs, him a facing a giant spider is pretty bad ass, but the spider he is facing is not normal, it's a mutant spider. The movie also make fun of clichés that happen in every creature flick, so yeah it knows it doesn't take it self seriously, over all this movie is awesome, and it's one of favorite movies of all time, so I do recommend you see this movie, the problem I have with it's a little too short, but I hope they make a sequel.

Ouija (II) (2014)

This movie is so stupid that it's entertaining

[7/10 · 28 October 2014]

This is actually pretty entertaining, okay it wasn't that scary, just a little scary, they're some jump scares here and there, but some the suspense in this movie is pretty good, now I will admit the premise of this movie was pretty stupid, but what do you expect, the movie has a stupid title and a stupid premise, which is about some average teens play a board game known as Ouija, if you remember the Ouija game, you know how to play it, and know the plot, if you don't know I'll tell you plot. After a girl Debbie died, her friends found the board game Ouija, and they start to play it, once they played it, something goes wrong, the game starts to haunt them left and right, when they play or don't play the game, so they have to keep on playing to find the spirit, and put an end to it. For a movie with a dumb idea, I have to admit, it's pretty entertaining, but I have to admit the twist is a little confusing, but the film still gets entertaining to the end. Overall this film is pretty good, it's not great, but it's still good to watch, would I recommend to you guys, yes for people that don't take stupid movies too seriously, you probably enjoy it, like I did, because I didn't take it too seriously, if you did, you may not like it, because it's met to be stupid, so it was so stupid that it was entertaining to watch.

Movie 43 (2013)

This movie is met to be wrong (8.4/10)

[8/10 · 30 September 2014]

Is it really that bad, nope, I find it to be kind of funny, this movie is not bad as critics think it is, because I've seen worse, believe me. all of the skits made me a laugh, I've notice all of the skits are filled with stuff that are just so wrong, and I think it's met to be that way. Yeah this comedy is wrong, because I realize all skits they do in this movie are so wrong, and that's what this film is, wrong. Overall this film is met to be offensive, gross, and so wrong, so yeah this film is kind of funny to watch, it's kind of like a live-action Family Guy, so yeah I can understand what this film is trying to be, so give it a watch, and see what you think, the only problem I have with the movie is the guy in the Pitch skit, the one that's refusing to buy the loser guy's film, because it's way to offensive, gross, and crude? Um... that's the point of his project, so that's my only problem with the film.

Leprechaun: Origins (2014)

Leprechaun, yeah right

[1/10 · 27 August 2014]

Leprechaun, huh? More like "Suck-my-dick-upon." This movie was God awful. Basically the plot goes like this, some teenagers go to a cabin in the woods, and they realize they were bait for the "Leprechaun," and they're trying to survive, and trying to figure out how to kill this thing. The characters are really dull, there is nothing interesting about them, they're just about as interesting as a piece of paper. The acting from these teenagers is awful. The dialogue is awful, every line is stupid in this movie. I'm going have to spoil the ending line, one of the dull teenagers says, "F**k you lucky charms." Yep they copied off a line from Leprechaun, wow, does it sound cool in this movie, no it doesn't, it's poorly used, just because you steal a line from another horror movie doesn't make it automatically awesome, because this teenager has no character build up. There is no Leprechaun in this movie, the creature in this movie is a rip off of the monsters from The Descent, and the movie wants us to believe it's a leprechaun, oh yeah sure it's a leprechaun, It looks nothing like a leprechaun at all, just because he likes gold, doesn't mean he is one. The movie is so boring, because the characters are so lifeless and dull, we only get to see the creature in about 23mins, and does the creature look scary, no it doesn't, it's making the original Leprechaun from Leprechaun scarier than that thing. The only good thing about this movie, is when the creature kills one of the dull teenagers, in a very graphic way, like pulling his spine out. Overall this movie is a complete joke, f**k this movie, don't see it, it's a waste of time.

Carrie (2013)

Good remake

[8/10 · 27 August 2014]

This remake was not needed, it was only made for money, but overall I have to admit it's a decent remake, it's not as good as the original, but it's better than the TV mini-series that Stephen King made. Chole Grace Moretz does a good job as Carrie, her acting may not be Oscar worthy, but she does a pretty good job. She does seem to do the character done pretty well, of course the film is not well done, they're some problems, the part where she gets bullied, feels a little meh at times, because they're kind of generic, the prom scene feel like I'm watching High School Musical, yeah it feels really generic, and clichéd, also the scenes where she is learning to use her powers look nice, but some of it is done with CGI, which doesn't feel real. Despite the problems it has, it's still a good movie, because the ending still does have a good effort to be creepy. Overall it's decent but it can't beat the original, because the original is still a classic, and really scary.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Disappointing

[3/10 · 13 August 2014]

This movie sucked, Michael Bay do yourself a favor, quit making movies, because you suck at them, okay I will admit you do have some good ones, but you keep on making suckish movies for us. This movie is just as bad as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The best part about the movie is the turtles, it's nice we get to know what they're like, and know about their personalities, which is good, but that's not enough to make this good. The problems I have with this movie is this, April O'Neal In this movie is just a damsel in distress, she is just a girl for the turtles to save, she barely helps them in this movie, also there are parts, where she is an idiot sometimes, like for example she tells the turtles secret to the villain. Will Arnett in this movie is not funny, he is really annoying, the jokes that he says, are terrible, plus some of them he says don't come off as jokes, every time I see him or hear his jokes, I just want to punch this in the face, really f***ing hard, because he reminds of Jar Jar Binks. Splinter is not really that wise, he's mostly a dick to his sons, which I didn't like, because I never find Splinter that much of a dick. Shredder in this movie is so lame, and forgettable, his evil plan doesn't make any sense, also he doesn't come with evil plans, his son does, which is Sacks, I thought he'll play as Shredder, because he's a better villain than Shredder in this movie, speaking of Shredder, they try keeping him in the shadows, but they fail, because I saw his face, wow nice try. The action in this movie is not that exciting in this movie, most of it is just boring, and they try to use slow-motion to make it look cool, but it fails, because they re-use it over and over, also it has the same ending as The Amazing Spider-Man, even though it's in daylight, that still doesn't make it different or good, also it fails at being dark, because the dark moments in the movie don't become that dark, they just come off as being silly. Now for the positives, like I said the turtles are the best part in this movie. There is one action scene that I like in this movie, it was the avalanche scene, because the action in that part was pretty well done, and that rap song at the end credits. Over all this movie sucked, the action wasn't that good, the villain was lame, the human characters are idiots, and over all is just a big disappointment.

Hercules (I) (2014)

A little silly, but tons of fun to watch

[8/10 · 29 July 2014]

For a PG-13 movie, this movie was pretty intense, very violent and very bloody. This movie was a blast, the story about Hercules in the movie, was really intense. This is the real legend of Hercules, not that p*ssy a** "Legend of Hercules movie," f**k that movie. The characters in this movie do act like real warriors that'll save the kingdom. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson does a great job as Hercules, when he plays as Hercules, he just nails it. This guy is a complete bada**, he knows how to come with clever stuff, and knows what a warrior should be. The king in this movie is kind of a dick, but I understand why he's like that, because he does want to rule the kingdom his way. The other characters that help Hercules on his journey are pretty good as well, and their personalities are pretty interesting. The action in this movie was awesome, it was pasted right, it was intense, and watching it in 3D makes you feel like you're inside the battle field. There is also humor in this movie, and the humor did make me chuckle a bit, of course I will admit that Hercules has some really white teeth, yeah and it's kind of looks silly, but that didn't bother that much, what did bother me was the dream sequence that Hercules always has, because they keep on use it again and again, which does get a little annoying. Overall this movie was awesome, it may not be the best movie of 2014, but it was a lot of fun, and Hercules is worth buying on blu-ray, if it's unrated, because I still think it needs an unrated directors cut, when comes out on blu-ray.

Devil's Due (2014)

Decent Horror Movie

[7/10 · 28 May 2014]

Devil's Due: 6.9/10 The film is about a couple that have a good time together, but when they start to have a baby that all changes. The movie does have some scary moments, and of course some jump scares. I do like the premise, and I was interested to see this movie, because it was directed by one of the VHS directors. The mystery in the film was pretty interesting. I like the fact that the husband is trying to figure out why his wife is not normal. The found footage in the movie was a bit scary at times. The only parts that annoy me were the jump scares that pop up. Is it as bad as the critics says it is, surprisingly it's not, so yeah I don't think it's a bad movie. Overall I say it's a decent horror movie, at least it was way better than The Devil Inside, that movie sucked. In my opinion this movie is good to watch at night. Do I recommend you guys watching this, nope, because you might hate it, since it got a lot of bad reviews.

Jobs (2013)

Great Biopic

[9/10 · 5 December 2013]

I didn't hate it, I actually like it, I thought it was a great biopic about Steve Jobs, and what he accomplish, so yeah I don't get why this movie got a lot of hate, because I know what this guy is like, sure he's not the best to get along and make friends with, but look what he accomplish on making, he made technology that was so unique, smart, simple, and really creative. Ashton Kutcher did a great performance as the intelligent man that we know in love, Steve Jobs, I thought Ashton would be a bad choice as Steve Jobs, because I don't see him in a drama, or in a serious movie, but he did great job, and I was really amazed with his performance in this movie. The story about Steve Jobs in this movie is told very well, of course they're should have been more info about him in this movie, but it does tell us that Steve is an intelligent, smart, creative person that made the impossible work. Steve Jobs is right the apple computers, because they are just more than computers, they brought something to us that amazed us, they brought something to us more successful than any computer company did, so yeah this movie was great, the acting was great, the direction was great, the writing was good, and the story was great, but I wish this movie had little more info about Steve Jobs, but It told how much of an intelligent man that Steve was, I like this movie.

Spiders (2013)

Worst Remake Ever

[1/10 · 14 July 2013]

0.01/10

I'm a big fan of the first Spiders film, it was cheesy, fun and very entertaining and when I heard about this remake, I was like "Spiders got a remake, I wasn't expecting that," so I watch this movie, I thought it'll be fun, but man this movie p***ed me off, this movie is hand downs the worst remake ever made, this movie has no characters, none of the characters have personality, or anything that I found interesting about these characters. The whole movie was boring all the way, it was making me fall asleep. The spiders in this movie, don't look like spiders, they look like over-sized ticks, the CGI was really awful in this movie, speaking of CGI, this movie is filled with very bad CGI, like for example there's a scene when some people jump through a window, and they use CGI for the broken glass pieces. This movie is taken way too seriously, it tries way too hard, but then it fails. The dialouge is awful, the effects are awful, and the direction for this movie was horrendous, they take PG-13 rating way too seriously, so yeah this movie is an earth sized piece of s***t, don't see this movie, go see Spiders (2000), stay far away from this remake.

Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)

I...enjoyed it, sorry guys.

[8/10 · 13 February 2013]

Well um... I enjoyed it, yes I know a lot of people say this movie is really bad, but I didn't think it wasn't that bad, I thought the film was a little entertaining, and it was pretty interesting, I understand why would people think this is really bad, yes I realize there is a lot of CGI in this movie, there is tons of it, and the CGI to me it's better than Michael Bay's CGI, yeah I hate Michael Bay's CGI, and it's a good thing he didn't produce this, thank God. Now I will agree that some of the dialogue is bad at sometimes, and the some of the characters could be a little iffy, so yeah I enjoyed it, but I don't recommend you checking this out, because of all the bad reviews it got, and I understand that, so yeah I enjoyed it, and you guys will hate it, and I understand that.

Girls Gone Dead (2012)

Fun to watch

[8/10 · 31 January 2013]

The movie is about under-age adults partying, and stuff, until a monk with a war-hammer decides to kill them for a religious thing from worshiping God. This movie was pretty fun to watch, sure the acting is not that good, but like I said, in slasher movies, when you're playing as person that gets killed, you don't have to act, only the killer has to act the role, and I got to say, the killer was a pretty intense killer. The film is really entertaining to watch, the script was good, the plot was okay, but it's still a fun movie to watch, oh if one of you are Christians, you may not want to watch this movie, because the Christians in this movie are insane, and the movie sometimes makes fun of them, so yeah if you are Christians, you might get offended by this movie, but if you love fun slasher movies, this is the movie for you.

Texas Chainsaw (2013)

Awful

[1/10 · 29 January 2013]

What a f**king load of sh*t, this doesn't act like it takes place in the 90's, nice try I saw the Iphone, don't try to fool me. The characters are awful, including the main character, "Heather," she is one of the stupidest character I've ever seen in this film. The dialogue in this film is awful; every line in this film is stupid, "fruitcake" come on that has got to be the lamest line I ever heard in my entire life, and the writing, OH GOD, THE WRITING!!! The writing is so awful, they try to make Leatherface a hero, (facepalm), he's a f**king slasher, not a f**king hero. The kills are awful in this movie; they repeat the same kills over and over again. The worst thing in this movie is the direction, OH GOD, THE DIRECTION!!! The directing is awful, every kill is poorly shot, and it has some of the worst 3D shots I ever seen, they just do it right in your face. The only good thing about this film is seeing the footage of the 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that's the only good thing about this film, the rest of it, just awful, do yourself a favor don't see this film at all, it's not worth it.

Storage 24 (2012)

Pretty Good

[8/10 · 14 January 2013]

This film was pretty entertaining for being a B-movie, the characters were kind of interesting, however there was one character I hate, "Mark," but I do get my wish that I like in this movie. Some of the scares are pretty good, and a few of them were annoying pointless jump-scares, and I hate those scares. The monster in this movie is well designed, of-course they had to use CGI/Practical effects for the monster, the practical effects are really well done, and the CGI well um... it doesn't make the monster look terrible. The CGI does is well done on the monster, and the good part is it's not taken seriously. The story in this movie is just the same as any other creature movie. The story goes like this, these people go into Storage 24 to check on their stuff, but then all of sudden a plane crash happens, and they're wondering what's going on, when all of sudden some kind of alien creature starts attacking these people in Storage 24, and by the way in this movie, there is a building called "Storage 24," well that sounds stupid, but overall this movie is a little cliché, and most of it is really entertaining to watch, so if you want to watch a fun creature film, this is the film for you.

Bait (III) (2012)

Entertaining

[8/10 · 5 October 2012]

The plot is like this: Image being stuck in a supermarket surrounded by sharks that sounds kind of scary. The 3D in this movie is great, it is very impressive to look at, and it's very entertaining. The characters are interesting; these are characters that you care about. When you watch this movie, you're asking yourself, are they going to survive or not? The most interesting characters are Josh and one of the robbers, they come up with some interesting ideas to survive a shark attack, and get out safe. The sharks do look impressive by the way, most of them look realistic, and however there are a few flaws in this movie. A few of the CGI shots over the animatronic sharks are kind of laughable, and also there was one character that one was kind of annoying, but however it's still an entertaining shark film. Its way better than shitty Shark Night 3D, that film was terrible, give this movie a watch if you want to.

Fred: The Show (2012–2023)

Oh God this is awful

[1/10 · 25 February 2012]

I actually liked Fred, when I first watched his web show, his web show was pretty funny, and when I first saw his Celebrity Music Video, then hit me, what if Fred was a celebrity. Well he did became one with his first movie, Fred: The Movie, and that movie was torture, it had awful editing, terrible acting all the way through, no plot, and an awful script, then after that the sequel came, and it was better, it had poor acting, a good plot, and an okay script, and then when I heard about this, this is going to be the worst year ever. The show is awful, it has no story, no plots, no funny jokes, poor acting, and just an annoying torturous person name Fred. Just stay from this show, it's torture, and idiotic.

The Wicker Man (2006)

It's so awful, that it's worth watching

[1/10 · 19 February 2012]

I understand why people think this is awful, because I realize a lot of scenes were completely pointless, and completely useless. Nicolas Cage has the worst performance in this movie, and I've been looking forward to that, because his craziness is so entertaining. The script for this movie is not suspenseful, dramatic, or good. All it was an awful movie with so many scenes that are completely useless, and don't even make any sense, but I enjoyed this movie because of Nicolas Cage's craziness, and the awful lines that were so hilarious like "How did it get burned," "Not the bees, AHHHH!!!," and the most greatest line in this movie is "Oh my God." Yeah this is an awful film, but it's worth watching, so if you want to watch something awful, and enjoyable, I think you should give The Wicker Man Remake a watch, it's totally worth it.

Alone in the Dark 2 (2008 Video)

What the hell is this?

[2/10 · 15 November 2011]

This movie looks nothing like the first one, because this film is just like Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, Yeah they made a totally different movie, and slapped the word Alone in the Dark 2 on it. This movie has even more bigger problems, it has too many plot holes, really bad CGI for the witch, worst direction, worst casting choices, horrible editing, it's really poorly shot, because this film is PG-13, and this movie fails for being PG-13. The first one was a lot better, and it makes more sense, and this one was doesn't, because the script for this movie is really horrendous, and also I didn't think Alone in the Dark didn't need a sequel, because the main characters died, so how in the world did Edward Carnby survive? Oh God this film is really horrible, no one should watch it at all, because it makes no sense, so I suggest you watch the first one, because that one is a lot better, this one is worse. They should have let Uwe Boll direct the sequel, so there goes to show that they should not let the writers of the first Alone in the Dark direct the sequel, because they did it more horrible.

Death Tunnel (2005)

Pretty Scary

[8/10 · 9 November 2010]

I like this movie, it was good, I know people are scared of the plague, because I know there is no cure for it, it is a pretty scary disease, and this movie is actually great, it has great acting, great script, and a good ending too. I've seen some plague like The Sickhouse, The Reaping, and Locusus: the 8th plague. I know the girls in this movie thought it was game, but it turns to be a nightmare, because they didn't know the hospital was haunted, and that's what made the movie pretty scary. The person, the one that was wearing that mask, when he was rolling the stretcher on the floor, that person looked pretty scary, and I think this movie should not deserve a 2.7/10, I think it should deserve a 8.5/10, because this movie looks pretty creepy, its got a great plot to it, and that's why I give it a 10/10, but my real score for this movie is a 7.8/10, so that why I rounded up. well the reason why I give this movie a 7.8/10 is because the scenes that show the floor numbers, but the rest of the movie, good.

Seed (2006)

Excellent Horror Movie

[8/10 · 13 October 2010]

The reason why I give this movie a 8/10, is because it made perfect sense, it looks like any kind of slasher movie I've seen, when I first watched it, it seemed pretty disturbing and scary, this movie has a good script, good acting, good storyline, and good ending, I heard a lot of people said this movie will make you throw up, but I didn't, and I know, because I'm use too these kind of films. Uwe Boll is a good director, his films are pretty good, In the Name of the King, House of the dead, Alone in the dark, and Seed, and they were excellent to watch, In the Name of the King: 8/10, House of the Dead: 8/10, and Seed: 8/10, and I also found out what Seed (The Killer's Name) want, he wanted revenge of killing of people that try to kill him. Uwe Boll knows how to make an excellent horror movie, and he knows how to pick some good actors, and actresses in his films.

Knock Knock (2007)

Great movie

[9/10 · 26 September 2010]

It was actually one of the best horror movies I've ever seen, the plot actually made sense, It has a lot of pretty gruesome parts in it, and It was not terrible at all, you should watch this movie it is awesome, it has great acting, and also great script, don't get me wrong, this movie is awesome, the cover of the DVD case, makes it pretty scary, the reason why I bought the movie is I read the plot and it was a really great plot, the cover of the case was pretty cool when I saw it at FYE, I also never heard of it when I first bought it from FYE, now I've heard of it, the ending was great, they may try to make a sequel of this movie, I don't know if they will or not, I hope they do because the movie was awesome, and the trailer was awesome too, you just have to get this movie, It will scare your pants off.