stargirlrk Reviews

How High (2001)

Bottom Line: NOT FUNNY

[25 May 2003]

This film was incredibly dumb, and I can see why it got such a low user-rating. It is another film that attempts to be entirely about a duo of dumb potheads getting into trouble (copying off the much-better films of Cheech and Chong, Friday, and Half-Baked). In this one, Method Man and Redman, who can't act worth $#!*, cheat on their SAT/ACT tests and get into Harvard University. They pull off a bunch of wacky/stupid/dumb pranks while they are there, including putting a plate of pot-brownies on the porch of one of their professors, who then eats them and goes crazy. The whole movie the two rappers are smoking pot and acting like what they truly are in real life: two idiotic young thug-wannabes who cannot do anything good besides rap. DO NOT SEE THIS AWFUL FILM. This was terrible, and even if you are a total stoner and want to see this just because it is about weed (like many people I know), don't. Rent "Up In Smoke" or "Half-Baked" instead, for they are actually funny and are worth the rental fee. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

24 Hours in London (2000)

Awful! This movie would discourage travelers from visiting London

[25 May 2003]

This movie was terrible. I thought it would be good, but it was not. I do not know what other British-made movies were like, but this sucked. A young woman has witnessed a major gang-deal gone bad, and now Christian (the mob leader) and his gang are trying to have her killed within 24 hours. Two mobsters break into the futuristic police station, and without being hit by a single bullet until the end, they gun down over a dozen heavily-armed SWAT team members. This is even more unbelievable than a video game with cheat codes. There are dumb cops guarding the young woman for the rest of the film, and every time mobsters try to kill her, something goes wrong and the mobsters end up dead. This takes place in the future, so maybe the film's producers will use its futuristic-location as an excuse to why the film was not only extremely fake to the point where it was no longer entertaining, but horrible. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Friday (1995)

Not funny and without a plot or good acting

[25 May 2003]

This movie was fair. Craig (Ice Cube) and Smokey (Tucker) are two young men who live in South Central L.A... Craig has just been fired from his job, and Smokey is a young pot-seller who owes his dealer $200 from the pot that he smoked up. The supposed "plot" is: Smokey and Craig have to get $200 by Friday night, or Smokey's dealer is coming to kill both of them. Why someone would commit double-murder over $200 worth of garbage reefer I do not know. The whole movie they hang around on their porch, swearing and smoking pot (Craig tries pot for the first time at age 22). Nothing funny happens, I do not know why it is considered a comedy. It is basically a home video that tries to appeal to young pot-smokers who drop out of school in 8th Grade. This is NOT funny and extremely stupid. Even if you have a chance to see it for free (as I did, but I regret it), do not waste your time on this. Even if you are stoned while watching the film it will still not be funny. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Nice Dreams (1981)

A story about ice cream men with a twist turns out pretty funny

[25 May 2003]

This movie was pretty good. Cheech and Chong come back with another episode of hilarious pot comedy, this time they are marijuana sellers dealing their product out of the back of their "ice cream truck" that they drive around. A major pot grower asks them to babysit his greenhouse for him, so they do, and they steal most of his incredibly-potent pot (garbage bags full of it!) and sell most of it, making a fortune. One minute they are selling pot, the next they are in a restaurant meeting wacky and zany characters, including a mysterious woman who falls in love with them and a crazy young man who introduces them to coke ("Can we buy some of that, man?"). This is a very funny and entertaining film and I don't know why it got such a low user-rating. I still thought this was funnier than Up In Smoke, but it isn't as famous. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Keepin' It Real (2003)

VERY VERY BORING

[24 May 2003]

This movie was truly terrible. Karen is a young woman who is trying to get to L.A. to deliver an original copy of her father's (A-Train) rap recording that was stolen from the studio. Richard is a young man who she originally accused of stealing her car, but he ends up driving her to L.A. and nothing funny happens on the way. The only two white characters in the film are rapper-wannabes who talk black and stole Karen's car and are looking for a record deal themselves. I was hoping to see rapper Kurupt in the film, but he was only in the last 5-minute scene and maybe 1 or 2 shots of him rapping in the recording studio. This movie must have cost close to nothing to make, for it has nothing in it at all (literally no background music in the whole film, horrible acting and a dumb storyline).I don't know what genre this movie fits in, for even though it had a "Youth-Restricted Viewing" label on it at Blockbuster there was no violence, no sex, and close to no cursing. But forget that, this movie was horrible and a complete waste of time. The whole movie Richard and Karen are in a car driving to L.A. and they make several stops on the way. Nothing happens. AVOID THIS FILM AT ALL COSTS. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Fire Down Below (1997)

One of Seagal's best action films

[24 May 2003]

This movie was pretty good. It is a lot better than Steven Seagal's more recent films, like Exit Wounds and Half Past Dead. I do not know why it had such a low user-rating, for it is excellent. Seagal plays EPA agent Jack Taggart, who moves to a small southern town to investigate allegations that a major business figure (Kristofferson) is dumping tons of toxic waste into a supposedly safe area. Seagal faces much hostility while he is there from Kristofferson's thugs, but he meets and falls in love with a young woman who was falsely accused of murdering her father. The murder was really done by her brother, who ends up in a dangerous confrontation with Seagal. This movie had expert action scenes and great filming of a southern/midwestern town. Kris Kristofferson had a very good role and he played it very well. This is probably Steven Seagal's best movie and I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys action films. SEE THIS FILM. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

The Punisher (1989)

An exciting action-packed thriller

[10/10 · 24 May 2003]

This film was pretty good. Frank Castle is The Punisher, a former police officer whose family was murdered by mobsters and years later, he comes back and wages a one-man war against crime. Although thought dead, he slowly kills off leading mobsters and criminals, one by one, in the name of "street justice". This movie had good music, and Louis Gosset Jr. played his role well as a police chief who was a friend of Castle. This movie had a decent story and exciting well-filmed gunbattles, but there were some bad things too. It relied more on pure action than on acting, for there was little talking in the whole film, just gunfire. It was somewhat fake to the point where it no longer seemed like a film (more like a video game) where a single man kills dozens of mobsters and is only hit by a single bullet in the whole film (in the shoulder!!!). But besides the bad things, this was pretty exciting and I would recommend it to all who enjoy action films. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Up in Smoke (1978)

A true comedy classic

[24 May 2003]

This movie is excellent. It was the first Cheech & Chong film, which started a whole generation of wacky comedies and other films about pot. The films Half-Baked, How High, and many others would not exist today if it wasnt for this film. Cheech & Chong are two hippies who are looking to buy large amounts of marijuana so they drive to Tijuana, Mexico. They steal a truck there and drive back to L.A., not knowing that the truck they stole is made entirely out of pot. Many funny stuff happens on the way, including a hilarious seen when Cheech throws the end of his joint out of the car window and it then lands on the lap of a nun who was sitting in a car next to them. When the car is stopped on the border crossing by customs agents, the nuns are all arrested for drug possession. This movie is very funny. While it was boring at some parts, it was generally very funny and one of the best movies of the '70s that gave a clear view of the pot-loving hippie generation. SEE THIS FILM. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Showtime (2002)

More should be expected from such great actors!

[11 May 2003]

This film was awful. I was expecting it to be very good, with Murphy, De Niro, and Russell all together in a single film. But it was not. Russell is a film director who decides to make a reality TV show called "Showtime" involving two cops, Murphy and De Niro. De Niro is serious and about business, while Murphy is out of control and goofy (Lethal Weapon 5 anyone?). So the TV show is shot, and the two dummies hang around until the film's end, acting stupid for the reality show's camera with stupid jokes and absolutely no humor. Even Murphy's role in "I-Spy" was better than this! This film makes me wish that all of the reality TV shows that began with Survivor should never have started, because without them, the idea for this film never would have surfaced and moviegoers would have saved a lot of money that they wasted on this trash. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

The Last Castle (2001)

A prison film with a twist

[11 May 2003]

This movie was pretty good. Robert Redford is an ex-general who is given a long prison sentence in a military prison because he led a faulty mission that ended up with several soldiers killed. It turns out that it was never his fault, but he ends up going to this prison anyway. Throughout the film, he tries to rally other prisoners behind him and rebel against the brutal prison warden, who has killed many prisoners (and makes it look like an accident). It is supposedly called "The Last Castle" because while most castles made in the last few centuries were built to keep people out, this prison castle was built to keep people in. This was good and exciting and the explosive action scene at the end is definitely worth the rental fee by itself. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Spy Game (2001)

Bottom line: VERY VERY BORING

[11 May 2003]

This film was boring. It played out well, but it was hardly a spy film. I was expecting it to be full of espionage and action, but it wasnt. Brad Pitt is a young CIA spy who is kidnapped at the beginning of the film during a spy mission in China, and his longtime "boss" Robert Redford has 24 hours to save him before he is executed in the Chinese prison. The whole film, Redford sits in an office and nearly every scene in the film is a flashback, detailing how Pitt and Redford met and some of the very dull missions that Pitt went on. There was no "spying" in the film, so I do not know why it was titled "Spy Game". Pitt is a spy, but he doesnt really act like one. There is not a single scene of action throughout the film, so if you want to see an action movie, rent something else. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Exit Wounds (2001)

Decent action scenes but very confusing

[11 May 2003]

This film was OK. It was unlike any other Seagal movie (it had a "hip-hop" flavor to it) and I was never expecting to see him in a movie with DMX. This film had very good action scenes and gunbattles but it was very confusing to know who was shooting at who. Seagal and DMX were never even seen together until the last scene so if you intended on seeing this to see them together, forget it. Extremely confusing, it was about some dirty cops who stole a large amount of heroin from the evidence vault at the police station and plan to sell it, and BOOM!! Gunbattles erupt! If you are absolutely in love with action movies then you should see this, but if you dont, stay away. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Pay It Forward (2000)

OK but too many false messages and attempts to gain sympathy

[11 May 2003]

This movie was pretty bad. It was about a young boy who receives a project from his teacher and he decides to use the chance to start a movement called "pay it forward", where one person goes and does three good things for three people and each of those people do three things for other people and so on. This was based on a book and the book's characters were African-American but they changed them to Caucasian for this film (I have no clue why). This was somewhat durogatory, as the one black character in the film was portrayed as a gangster/thug (he steals a radio and then pulls out a gun in the hospital after he is stabbed by his sister). It also portrayed every single homeless person as either a heroin addict or alcoholic, as Helen Hunt's mother in the film had a bottle of liquor in every scene. I am not denying that many people have substance abuse problems, but not all of them do. This film was sad at times but it was generally stupid. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Out of Sight (1998)

Pretty good but mostly a romance film.

[11 May 2003]

I enjoyed this movie somewhat and it had good acting. George Clooney and several other bank robbers break out of prison and kidnap FBI agent Lopez who is assigned to catch them. She and Clooney soon fall in love, but the rest of the film doesnt make much sense. The last half of the film, Clooney and his gang of thugs (with no Lopez) are planning to break into a millionaire's mansion (who was one of their former cellmates) and steal his large collection of diamonds. The scene where they break into the house at the end is the only real scene of action in the whole film, so if you are renting this to watch an action movie, then you have the wrong rental. But this was an interesting movie that I cannot compare to any other film in recent memory. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Selena (1997)

Quite entertaining if you are interested in musical-biography films

[11 May 2003]

This film was pretty good. I originally saw it in my second-year Spanish class and thought that it would be bad, but it wasnt. Jennifer Lopez is fantastic at portraying Selena (they both look surprisingly alike) and this film is generally a musical biography. It details Selena's life, how she grew up and became more involved with singing and music under her father's encouragement. They faced hardships at times, such as when they had to move because her father's restaurant went out of business and Selena's popularity was low at first. This was a good story of Selena's life, who was tragically murdered by her fan-club president in 1995 because of a financial dispute. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Dante's Peak (1997)

Exciting but without a very interesting storyline

[11 May 2003]

This was a OK film. I like Pierce Brosnan, and he was good in it and he played a scientist who was trying to convince the population of a small town in the midwest that the volcano above their town was going to explode in only a matter of time, but they refused to believe him. It finally does explode, and chaos comes about. If you like disaster films you will most likely enjoy this as it had good special effects with the lava and all. It was very fake though in some parts (as with most disaster films) when Brosnan and the family he is taking care of get in a canoe and paddle across an acid-contaminated river and the water begins burning through the sides of the canoe immediately (it would most likely take a few hours to do that in real life). But this was entertaining and worth your time unless you are terrified of volcanoes (as I am of tornadoes). Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

The Substitute (1996)

Good, but hardly at Berenger's level

[11 May 2003]

This film was OK. Tom Berenger is a CIA agent living in Miami whose wife is beat up by a gang member so Berenger goes undercover a substitute teacher at a high school where many of the gang members go. He pretends to be a teacher and disciplines students, but after school he is fully armed and going after the violent gang members led by their leader Juan Lacas (played by singer Marc Anthony). Berenger eventually finds out that the drug-smuggling operation that the gang runs out of the school is helped out by the school principal, who was Berenger's former friend. This was a pretty good film, and had plenty of action and gunbatles, but it was not nearly as good as other Tom Berenger films such as Platoon, Sniper, and others. It makes a good rental for a rainy day but it becomes incredibly unbelievable in the ending sequence where a huge gunbattle erupts inside the high school involving gang members and CIA agents with huge machine guns. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Executive Decision (1996)

Very good! A very-suspenseful action film with a great cast.

[11 May 2003]

This film was excellent. A truly great cast and a fantastic storyline. Arab terrorists hijack a commercial airliner and they somehow got a very large nuclear bomb on board and plan to crash it in a suicide-attack in Washington DC (unknown to the passengers). So a team of special-ops soldiers (Russell, Seagal, Leguizamo, and 2 others) get on board the plane in mid-air by attaching their fighter jet to it, and they attempt to save the plane before it is too late. This is one of the greatest action films I have ever seen (even better than Air Force One and Passenger 57) and is full of suspense that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Halle Berry is excellent as a flight attendant who tries to help the team out. My only complaint is that Steven Seagal was in only a few scenes (he is killed early in the film). Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

The best Disney film ever made! A classic!

[11 May 2003]

This movie was truly great. I am not a fan of family-films, or non-animated Disney films either, but this was excellent. It is about a family who is traveling in the sea to Europe but is shipwrecked on an island and they are able to build a paradise there but are continuously faced with new challenges. There are plenty of dangerous wild animals, lack of food, and pirates come and a fantastic gun & sword battle erupts near the end of the film which is not too violent for a Disney film but is very exciting. This whole movie is great, it has great scenery, excitement and great color film for a 1960 movie. You must see this! Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Half Past Dead (2002)

A horrible, low-budget extended music video with everything gone wrong

[10 May 2003]

I enjoy Steven Seagal films, and I even expected some good stuff from Ja Rule, but this was absoltely TERRIBLE. Forget the rest, this film is so fake and unbelievable that it becomes a fairy tale. An old man in the prison is soon to be executed, and he happens to know where a $300 million stash of gold is hiding. So Morris Chestnut and his heavily-armed gang of future-thugs break into this futuristic prison (breaking into a prison???) and start shooting with every machine gun and grenade launcher ever made. The prisoners somehow manage to break out of their cells and get a hold of the weapons, so prisoners Seagal, Ja Rule, and rapper Kurupt join in this PS2 game gun-battle. The entire film takes place in the prison, and there is so much shooting and sparks (with nobody even being hit by bullets) that it is basically a confusing music video with no drama and if you have even slight motion-sickness than you will probably get sick watching this. So a blazing gunbattle goes on for most of the film, without you knowing even who is shooting at who, for most of the prison guards got killed earlier. But in the end, the gang finds the old man who knows about the gold stash, kidnaps him and escapes in a helicopter. They are flying over a lake back to the mainland when suddenly the old man opens his jacket and what happens to be there? A bomb strapped to his chest, and he blows the helicopter up and kills all the members of the cyber-gang, similar to the Arab suicide bombers killing children in this manner over in Israel. That is it, the only entertaining scene in the film, but you wonder: the old man was kidnapped from the electric chair on death row, taken from the prison, and suddenly he happens to have a bomb under his jacket? Obsurd. STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE FILM AND YOU WILL THANK ME. Feel free to email me if you have an questions or comments.

Black Hawk Down (2001)

Excellent! The best military-film ever made by far!

[10 May 2003]

I love military-action movies, and this was by far the best. It won 2 Academy Awards (Best Film Editing and Best Sound) and I can believe it. It is about 100 U.S. soldiers who were dropped down over a crowded market in Mogadishu, Somalia in 1993 to capture two top lieutenants of a brutal Somali warlord, Mohammed Farah Aidid. Aidid's militia has been starving the Somali people by taking control of all the UN food aid that comes in and he is basically starving people to death (when he's not shooting them). The soldiers' mission was supposed to take an hour (many soldiers didnt even care about wearing a flak vest or not) but they ended up surrounded by thousands of armed Somalis fighting for their lives throughout the night, with many, many casualties as well as two seemingly-invincible Black Hawk helicopters are shot down. The acting is great, and Josh Harnett proves that he can play an aggressive soldier just as well as he can play different characters in other films (The Faculty, Pearl Harbor, etc.). The special effects are completely incredible, by far beating out the action scenes in Saving Private Ryan. If you like action or modern-war movies, or just like any exciting film, you have to see this! Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)

Horrible! Even die-hard action fans should stay away!

[10 May 2003]

I love action films, and I rented this because the rental-case artwork looked interesting and made the film look exciting. It is basically about Arab terrorist Jafari bin Kasim who brainwashes American combat veterans and sends them on suicide bombing missions. The film opens with a brainwashed man flying an explosives-laden Cessna plane into a moving train carrying a European ambassador, which blows up the train on a bridge over a lake. There are a few more suicide bombings throughout the film (none of them very exciting) so finally, the Delta Force team is called in to track down Kasim and kill him and his thugs. So the movie is basically very boring with terrible acting until the final scene, where the Delta Force invades Kasim's terrorist base in the middle of Kenya and blows it up, killing many terrorists. It is a 90-minute "action" film with only a single 10-minute action scene, which is very poorly filmed in blurry slow-motion and it is very hard to see what's going on. There is a very short gun-battle in the final scene and perhaps a single terrorist is killed and then everything blows up. That is it. How Kasim was able to kidnap and brainwash Americans, I do not know, but even if you are absolutely in love with action films, this was horrible, even if you take into consideration that it was only a made-for-video movie. STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS AND YOU WILL THANK ME. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or comments.

Enemy at the Gates (2001)

One of the best war movies ever made. A classic sharpshooter film!

[10 May 2003]

This film had everything you could possibly want in a film and has a little bit from every film genre. It has violence, drama, suspense, romance, and is based on a true story. It takes place in Stalingrad, U.S.S.R. during World War II, and Jude Law plays a Russian sniper who has killed so many German officers during the siege of the city that he is making the front pages of Russian newspapers and is boosting the morale among many Russians. Law eventually finds out about a German sniper (Ed Harris) who is even better than him and feels that he doesnt stand a chance against Harris. After being the "hunter" for so long, Law is like a mouse and Harris is a cat, and Law finds himself pinned down to a point where he is near helpless. He has help from Joseph Fiennes, who is a fellow Russian soldier and a good sniper as well, but Fiennes deserts Law by committing suicide and putting himself in the way of a bullet fired from Harris's rifle, making Law face Harris all alone. This movie is truly great, it has great scenery comparable to that of Saving Private Ryan, and the action scenes are incredible and realistic. But the greatest parts are of course the views through the crosshairs of the two rivals' sniper rifles, where you feel like you are a sniper inside the film. This is a great movie, no question about it. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or comments.

Big Momma's House (2000)

Tired concept but generally funny

[10 May 2003]

This was the only Martin Lawrence film I have seen (besides Blue Streak) and it was pretty funny. He goes undercover as a fat old woman so that he can find out more about a young woman who is accused of robbery (the old woman's niece) and comes to stay at big momma's house. There was little difference between this and The Nutty Professor movies, but this had some funny scenes and you'll end up with at least a few laughs. I give this 6 out of 10. If you like Martin Lawrence then you will probably love this movie, and if you dont like Lawrence, you will probably enjoy it anyway. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Reindeer Games (2000)

A good action/suspense film that is more than just a holiday movie.

[10 May 2003]

This was good. Rudy Duncan (Affleck) is in prison for car theft and he meets a guy there named Nick Cassidy, who has a beautiful girlfriend named Ashley. Nick fakes his own stabbing during a prison riot, and so when Rudy gets out he takes on the identity of Nick (whom he looks like) and gets with Ashley. Nick formerly worked at a casino, and Rudy (who is posing as him) is kidnapped by Ashley's brother Gabriel and his gang of thugs, who need his help in robbing the casino. He basically has to fake-help them throughout the film and he attempts to escape several times, and this all leads to an excellent ending sequence. This is full of suspense and takes place on Christmas, like many other movies that happen to come out during the holiday season. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.